Without Warning
by Miss Peg
Summary: ANOTHER SEQUEL part 5 . Things in life usually happen Without Warning, but when the gang attend their 10 year college reunion, their lives begin to spiral into a new direction, but will their lives ever be the same again? Naomily and Katie.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: This is part five of the Naomily series I have been writing since earlier in the year, so if you haven't read the others, look up Trying To Forget (part one). It's taken me a while to find an idea I was happy with. I've also been ill, which is why I haven't updated my other story yet. I hope you enjoy this first chapter.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter One**

The room was filled with her possessions. Her favourite chair was pride of place in front of the television, the coffee table carefully angled in front of it; close enough that she could rest her legs on the side, but far enough away that she could manoeuvre the vacuum cleaner around it. Home comforts were dotted around and boxes overflowed with old and new belongings. Despite everything she loved occupying the spaces, it didn't quite feel like home.

"Is this the last of it?"

Emily turned around and nodded at the removal men. They exchanged money and gratitude before they left her to her thoughts. Instantly she wished they would return; not because she wanted their company, but because she wanted any company. She was excited. The new apartment was brand new, recently developed from an old factory building, it had the latest electrics and gas. But she dreaded the prospect of lonely nights in front of the television with nobody there to share the emptiness with.

"Knock, knock," came a voice from the doorway.

It was unexpected. She'd barely moved in, the place was a mess and she was already going to have to start entertaining? She wondered if it was somebody's evil plan, give her the company she so desired just moments before, when really she wanted a bit of time to herself.

"Oh, you're early," she said, carefully considering the blonde haired woman staring back at her.

"I have a hair appointment, I thought it'd be fine," Naomi replied, her voice unsure, but seemingly strong.

"I've barely just moved in, but okay," Emily replied, glancing behind Naomi, "Where are they?"

"Lexie thought it fun to count the stairs and take Harley with her,"

A smile spread across her face at the thought of eighteen month old Harley walking up two flights of stairs. She'd not seen him in three days, what with moving and their custody arrangements. The excitement she felt was electrifying. When he was born she didn't expect to feel so in love with their son, but the more she looked into his sparkling blue eyes, the more she was reminded of the love that brought him into their lives.

"Nice place," Naomi muttered, looking around with curiosity.

"It's not much at the moment, but once it's sorted out, it'll be home."

The two women shared a look, their eyes staying on each other past the acceptable time. They both glanced away, both feeling how awkward it had become so quickly.

"You sure you can drop them off at your parents before the reunion?" Naomi checked, staring at a pile of boxes labelled "the kids".

It was difficult to see a box that contained items belonging to their son, particularly when such items had never crossed Naomi's path before. He'd arrive home in a new outfit once in a while or clutching a new toy, but it had never crossed her mind that he'd have a whole host of items at his other home.

"It's fine," Emily mumbled.

Naomi could sense inhospitality in Emily's response. A sign that she knew meant she had to leave, as quickly as possible. She took another fleeting look around the apartment, and on hearing the sound of the children approaching the door, she smiled faintly at Emily.

"Okay well, I should go."

"Guess I'll see you tonight," Emily replied.

"Yeah," Naomi sighed.

It suddenly occurred to her that she had to inform Emily, she had to tell her now before she found out by herself. It made her nervous, but she pushed it aside, biting her lip.

"I'm, I thought you should know that I'm bringing someone."

It was difficult not to watch those familiar lips; one tucking the other into her mouth, creating a temporary crevice as Naomi's teeth dug into the skin. It was a common feature of Naomi's sexual handbook for flirting, but most of the time it was unintentional. Regardless of whether she meant it or not, it never failed to promote a reaction from Emily.

"Oh," Emily gasped, taken aback by Naomi's revelation and her unwanted desire, "I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

"Yeah, for three months now," she replied, throwing the final piece of information into the mix as though it was merely an afterthought.

"Does she know about Lexie and Harley?"

"Of course she does," Naomi mumbled, "She loves them."

She was jumping into hot water; risking burning herself from head to toe as she answered Emily's queries. But she always did have a terrible problem with foot-in-mouth disease. Emily's reaction, to what she considered a stupid and pointless attempt to make her estranged wife jealous, certainly didn't shock her.

"When, why did, why didn't you tell me?"

Nor did she bite her tongue as her mouth continued to do the talking, before her brain did the thinking.

"Keep your knickers on Emily, I didn't introduce them if that's what you're worried about, we bumped into her at a cafe."

Anger. That's what she thought she felt, but she wasn't sure. It was difficult for Emily to distinguish her feelings since they'd broken up. So much so that she'd confused lust with love on one occasion and jealousy with hate on multiple. She could feel her words slipping from her lips unaided.

"That is besides the point and you know it," Emily snapped, "I have a right to know if my son is going to meet your latest floozy."

Naomi scoffed, "This isn't the time nor the place to be discussing this, you'll meet Juliet tonight."

"You think that's going to make this more acceptable?" Emily grumbled.

"Don't you dare make me out to be the bad guy, I'm not the one who left, or slept with someone else. I wasn't the first one to move on, how is Alyson?"

It was a low blow and one that Naomi had used again and again. She wasn't willing to let Emily forget that she knew and that she was still upset about it. It made her feel powerful, knowing she could whip out her weapon at any time and knock Emily for six.

"How am I supposed to know? That was over eight months ago, you have no right bringing it up now."

There was a silence, another shared glance, a moment where both women knew they were on the verge of a major argument if they didn't nip it in the bud. Thankfully the little blonde haired boy that belonged to both of them came running into the room, his hands clinging instantly to Emily's legs as he burrowed his face between them.

"Mummy!"

"Hey there little man," Emily cooed, "I've missed you."

It was the chance they'd both wanted for the discussion to be over and Naomi took it quickly, using it as her opportunity to escape. She kissed her son and Lexie goodbye. The door slowly came to a complete close and Emily felt herself let out a breath she'd held in since the children entered the apartment. She looked at the two of them, a huge smile spreading from ear to ear.

"We've both missed you, haven't we Harls?" Lexie informed her, giving her a hug.

"Yeah," Harley grinned.

The apartment was new for all of them, which made it difficult for her son to adapt. She pulled out a number of his things as soon as he'd grown fussy, settling him on the floor with his favourite toys. Lexie, however, was excited by the new adventure, taking herself off on a tour of the three bedrooms, one of which she knew would be her own.

"How is school?" Emily asked as the two of them sat down with Harley.

"It's okay," Lexie shrugged, "Miss Higgins is really nice."

"Was she the year six teacher last year?"

Lexie nodded. Emily hated the small talk. She wished she could be there every day, watching the girl she'd known most of her life flourish in her academic achievements. It had been months since the little girl had come home, full of excitement over something she'd done or was going to do at school. Emily knew it was because Naomi got all the best stories and by the time she asked, the excitement was gone.

"I remember meeting her, nice lady."

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Emily watched Harley play; it thrilled her to see him settle into the new house. She'd spent weeks agonising over the purchase. He was used to a garden and plenty of space; she'd hoped it would be enough. Her thoughts were interrupted by Lexie, her wandering mind making Emily feel instantly at ease.

"What are you wearing tonight? Naomi's dress is amazing and if you want to compete with Juliet you'll have to have a pretty amazing one too."

She chuckled, wondering how Lexie had gotten so grown up in the year they'd not lived so closely together. Despite the girl's talent for being spot on, Emily still felt the need to correct her.

"I don't want to compete."

"Well you should," she replied, a disappointment in her eyes, "I'd much rather live with you than that bitch."

"Lexie!" Emily gasped, shocked by the eight year olds choice of words.

"What? You said that word the other day,"

"When?"

"On the phone to Auntie Katie."

She wanted to laugh again, but stopped herself. She knew Naomi would kill her if she accepted Lexie's use of the word. Her lips curled slightly, before she pulled them back into a straight line.

"That doesn't count, you shouldn't be saying it."

"You always say that," Lexie complained.

Emily felt herself growing with elation, thankful to Lexie for making their new home feel like it was a home and not just a new apartment they happened to inhabit. They were already building small memories that she hoped would never be forgotten. She thought carefully about Lexie's suggestion.

"What exactly is Naomi wearing tonight?"

**Author Notes: Did you enjoy this chapter? Please review. :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Wow, thanks guys for the reviews, though some of you seem a little displeased by the initial storyline. Just give it time, when are Naomily stories ever simple? Lol. I really appreciate the comments and thoughts. And jm - I really don't hate Naomi, but she's such a good angsty character.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Two**

Panic! at the Disco played loudly across the convention centre's main room. It was a gentle reminder of the past that filled Naomi with a mixture of elation and sadness. To say she was nervous was an understatement. She knew no one would expect her and Emily to still be together, but after nearly a year apart, it wasn't any easier introducing her new partner to the people she'd not seen in ten years.

"Nervous?" Juliet whispered with a gentle squeeze of her hand.

She was nervous. But she didn't want Juliet to know that. Their relationship was hardly perfect and Naomi had found it difficult to be honest with her.

"Not really."

"Your ex knows about me now, so meeting your friends can't be that bad," she smiled, sliding her hand around Naomi's waist.

The room was cloaked in darkness, aside from the bright lights hanging around the dance floor. It reminded Naomi of the school dances she'd attended as a teenager. She'd spent most of them hiding in the dark corners and on realisation of what could occur if she bumped into Emily, she wished she could follow that tradition. There were many familiar faces, most of whom she couldn't recall names for. But amongst them were the few people she'd turned up just to see. She caught sight of JJ, his arm attached comfortably to a pretty girl. It made her happy seeing that the unlucky in love teen she'd known had grown into a man who she hoped had found someone he cared about. On closer inspection; the sharing of a kiss, she knew her hopes were not dashed. They eventually caught each other's eyes and JJ gave her a wave which she happily returned.

"Friend?" Juliet asked, Naomi nodded, not really wanting to expand.

The crowd in front of Naomi parted and a red head appeared, for a moment she thought it was Emily, but she realised it was her twin sister. She took a deep breath, readying herself for the showdown she knew was about to occur.

"Do you want to get us some drinks?" Naomi asked Juliet, keeping one eye on Katie as Juliet disappeared through the crowd.

"Didn't think you'd show your face," Katie snapped, her hand on her hip.

"I have every right to be here Katie, it was my college too."

"If only it wasn't," she muttered.

Getting angry at Naomi was not something Katie enjoyed. It had taken her years to find a place where she could be happy with Naomi's presence in their family. But since the separation, she'd struggled. She knew it was her protective instincts kicking in, but she still loathed her inability to control herself.

"I'm not the one who ended it Katie, when will you get over what happened?"

"She's my sister."

"And she's my wife, doesn't mean I lay claim on her."

"Wife."

Katie laughed. Her chuckles tickling her throat as she shook her head. It was their college reunion, she wanted to enjoy it, she wanted to celebrate the successes of their lives. But somehow her mind wouldn't pull itself away from the failures.

"You're a joke," Katie retorted, "As soon as Emily finds someone else she'll be changing that."

"Maybe this is none of your business Katie."

"Do we have to do this?"

The voice of reason. The voice of the man who, despite his being Katie's husband, always found time to stay in the middle of a disagreement. Naomi looked to Katie's side, sharing a slight smile with her brother-in-law. She wanted to greet him properly. Despite the separation and Katie's complaints, he was the one person in the Fitch family that stayed in contact with her and not just for Harley and Lexie's sake. She was curious what Katie thought about her husband's lack of interest in giving up her friendship, part of her wished it made her mad.

"She started it," Katie snapped, a childish remark on her part.

"I think that was you," Naomi rolled her eyes.

"Not tonight you bitch, you broke my sister's heart."

"Come on," Howard tried, sympathy projected from his weak smile.

"Listen to your husband Katie," Naomi snapped, watching him pull her away.

A scream behind Naomi startled her. She turned around as a brunette jumped into her arms, making her react quickly and catch her tightly around the waist.

"Whoa, Effy?" Naomi gasped, pulling away from the excitable embrace.

"How are you?" Effy grinned, sipping happily on a glass of champagne, that Naomi assumed was at least her fourth.

"I'm well thanks, what about you?" Naomi replied, "You look amazing, gorgeous."

It had been nine years since she'd seen Effy, nine years since they'd shared a conversation. They weren't particularly close in college, or in the year afterwards. But they'd always shared an understanding that brought them together.

Effy raised an eyebrow, "Is that some sort of come on? I heard you decided to bat for the other team."

"Yes, I'm gay," Naomi responded, "And I have a girlfriend."

"Not Emily?

Naomi shook her head, "I'm not with Emily anymore."

"Anymore? Does that mean you were?"

She laughed, "Well we got married and have a son, so yes, we were, for a while."

"You have a son? Oh my god, Naomi; wife and mother. I never pictured you as the maternal type. How did you do it?"

"I've changed a lot since college and we used a sperm donor," Naomi shook her head, "This is a little weird talking about it here though."

Effy laughed, "Who else have you seen?"

"The bitch," Naomi sighed.

"You and Katie still not seeing eye to eye?"

"We've had our moments, but the past year she's hated me."

"I found most of the group, you should join us; Cook, JJ, Freddie."

"What about Thomas or Pandora?"

"Didn't you hear?" Naomi shook her head, "They're not coming; they moved to South Africa together, got a son and twin girls; living the dream."

"Didn't see that one coming."

The two girls laughed about their old friends, discussing the details of their African adventures together. It felt sad knowing they wouldn't be there, but knowing they were happy made it better.

"Trying to replace me?" Juliet muttered, her voice barely audible over the music.

Naomi's lips curled at the edges, her body twisting, pulling her girlfriend into her close proximity. She felt the need to make their relationship obvious in more than name only. Her hands relaxing comfortably on Juliet's lower back.

"Effy, this is Juliet, Juliet, a good friend of mine from college, Effy,"

"Charmed, I'm sure," Effy smiled, taking the woman's hand and smiling at her.

"Effy wants us to join all my old friends."

*

The group didn't talk for at least sixty seconds. There was tension that Emily noted, only appeared as soon as Naomi, and the dark haired woman she was with, sat down. The group quickly moved on, discussing the details of JJ's relationship, prompting red faces from the happy couple. Emily watched the woman that Naomi clung exceptionally close to. She wondered if it was an act of attraction, or an act of possessiveness.

"Didn't have anyone to bring tonight Emily?" JJ asked, politely.

She began to answer, explaining that she was single. But the small talk was quickly interrupted.

"Emily? THE Emily?" Juliet asked with a look of distaste.

The woman's reaction made Emily smile. She wondered how much Naomi's girlfriend knew about their lives, how much Naomi had actually told her. So much had happened that Naomi still didn't really talk about with anyone other than Emily, she couldn't help but wonder if Juliet had been given the pleasure of Naomi's woes.

"Yes," Naomi replied, anxiously waiting for her girlfriend to react.

"What is she doing here? I thought this was your college reunion."

"It is," Naomi mumbled, trying to keep the conversation down to a whisper.

"Then what is she doing here, Naomi?"

"We went to the same college."

It wasn't a fact she'd meant to keep from Juliet, but the opportunity to mention it had never arisen. Except that she knew it had, on more than one occasion, she'd simply brushed the chance under the carpet on the hope that it wouldn't be an issue.

"When exactly were you going to tell me that?" Juliet spat out, glaring cautiously at the red head.

"Does it matter?"

"Of course it does, you are way too secretive Naomi, this isn't the first thing you've kept from me," Juliet snarled, standing up.

It was exactly what Naomi didn't want. A scene. She'd spent here younger years trying to stop things like that from happening, she hated the thought of her old friends getting a bad impression. What she dreaded the most, was Emily and Katie's front seat view of her failing relationship.

"Juliet, just sit down," she muttered, resting a hand on her girlfriend's arm.

"When you're ready to be more open and honest, give me a call," the woman announced, her eyes raging wild before she stormed off into the crowd.

To say she was shocked would have been an understatement. It took her every inch of courage to look back towards her friends, more so to turn her gaze towards the sister's Fitch. Several pairs of eyes stared back at her, a quiet wondering filled the void. Until Katie opened her big mouth.

"Serves you right."

Seeing red, Naomi stared at her, boring her eyes into her sister-in-law's skin like she possessed lasers. She felt angry, furious at her for sounding so smug. She'd cared about Juliet and no matter what had happened between them, it was her relationship.

"Keep your fucking words of wisdom to yourself," she retorted.

"Not until you start admitting what you did, you little bitch," Katie snapped, a nasty grin spreading across her face.

"What did I do Katiekins?"

"You broke my sister's heart."

Emily didn't want to be any part of the argument unfolding. But she was wedged into a seat between Cook and Katie, with little chance of escape. She heard Cook make some snide lesbian comment to Freddie, before the two of them cracked up in the same way they had as teenagers. It angered her that her relationship with Naomi was gaining a starring role at the reunion, that was meant to be about where they were now, not what bad things had happened to them.

"You shattered her, you destroyed your whole relationship."

It was her most powerful possession, her mouth, her words. They usually won her the biggest battles, especially when Naomi was on the other end of the disagreement. Katie stood up, gaining height, making her feel superior.

"Oh yeah."

There was laughter, Naomi's throat vibrating with giggles. It was unthinkable for her to actually consider that Katie wasn't taking sides, of course she was, she always had. She was on Emily's side and no matter who was in the wrong, that was where she would stay. Katie's word's puzzled her, she'd never seemed to grasp the true facts of her separation.

"Why don't we ask Emily who fucked someone at work before we'd even broken up? Shall we?"

Rivers flowed, oceans swarmed and Naomi's tears slid down her cheeks as she raced from the reunion. She didn't mean to let that last sentence slip. She hadn't wanted it to end so badly, she just wanted one night for them to enjoy regardless of her relationship status with Emily. But no, Katie had to ruin it, as per usual. The fresh air outside the entrance felt cooling against her warm, red cheeks. She choked back tears. A hand touched her shoulder. She didn't expect it, making her jump on impact.

"Sorry, it's only me," Howard spoke softly.

Howard. The true gentleman. She knew Katie would be even more pissed that he was with her.

"You should go back to your wife," Naomi cried, not moving from his comforting hand.

"She knows how out of line she was, either way you're family, you seemed upset?" he guessed.

"My girlfriend as good as dumped me, wouldn't you be?"

A slight nod of the head emphasised his agreement, "I guess."

There was doubt in his voice. Naomi frowned at him, wiping the tears that began to slow. She wanted to know what he was thinking, but she was too afraid to ask. Thankfully, Howard had good instincts.

"I know you still love Emily."

"Yeah, right," Naomi snapped, rolling her eyes.

"You can't fool anyone."

"That obvious is it?" she sighed, staring at the floor with too much interest.

"Some people are meant to have short lived romances with lots of different people, some people are meant to be with the same person forever," Howard mused, barely answering her question, but telling her everything she needed to know.

A lump caught in her throat as she choked out fresh tears, "She fucking broke my heart, whatever Katie says, it was me left in pieces."

Two, large arms enveloped her, reminding her quickly of a comfort she'd not had since before the separation. The tears built up, coming out stronger and with more energy. She didn't know how long she'd been crying for, but it felt like a years worth of tears had fallen.

"I think I should drive you home," Howard stated, analysing her state of mind.

Words escaped her, replaced instead by more tears. The two, large arms helped her up, guiding her to the car park and into the front seat. She curled up against the closed door, her body tired from the release of pain she'd finally let out. She caught Howard's gaze and gave him a gentle, thankful smile.

*

"He's not in the bathroom," Cook announced, sitting back down at the table.

"He better not have gone after that trollop," Katie snapped, searching the party for signs of her husband.

"Don't say that," Emily whispered, not looking up from the table.

"No Emily, I'm not letting that bitch get away with this, this is meant to be a party."

"But she's telling the truth," Emily replied, finally looking her sister in the eye.

"What?" Katie frowned.

"I slept with someone else, it's my fault we broke up."

Two pairs of brown eyes were staring at each other, neither one wanting to give in and look away. Katie felt a lump in her throat. She'd spent months defending her sister, blaming Naomi for her wrongdoings, when all along it had been Emily who'd made the mistake. She wanted to get mad, but her phone beeped and a message from Howard informing her of his crusade distracted her from her original source of anger.

*

The twins sat together, but there was a line between them. Neither one quite sure what to say to the other. The events of the night hadn't quite been how they'd expected. Emily looked at her sister on several occasions, wanting to speak, wanting to explain what happened. But words escaped her. She knew they wouldn't be enough, they never were. Katie just stared at her phone, as though waiting for it to ring. Emily could tell she was wondering where Howard was. He'd messaged her again, but his estimated time of arrival had come and gone twenty minutes ago.

"Howie?" she gasped, answering the phone, before disappointment changed her expression, "Oh, you, what?"

Something wasn't right. There was a look on Katie's face, a look of devastation that made Emily's body shake uncontrollably. She reached a hand out, pressing her cold fingertips against her sister's shoulder, which reacted to her touch. Katie nodded her head, whispering a goodbye, her voice laced with tears.

"What is it?" Emily asked, her voice further away from her body than she'd expected.

"There," Katie began, but her voice broke into tears quickly as she sobbed out her words, "There's been an accident, Howie...and Naomi."

**Author Notes: Like the chapter? Hate the chapter? Feel free to tell me, click on the review box below and share your thoughts.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks so much everyone for your reviews and kind words, I appreciate everything you guys say! Even when you don't agree with the stuff that's happening...I hope you enjoy this chapter, I enjoyed writing it in many ways.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Three**

A drum beat faster as the seconds went by. Katie could feel a knot in her stomach, a pain in her heart. She wondered if she was going to keel over. A pair of hands seemed to hold her up, leading her to the back of the taxi. There was sickness, she could feel it, but it didn't seem to become more known. It knocked her down, her emotions on the floor, whilst her body was winched by the person holding it.

"Did they say anything else?" a voice asked, a familiar voice.

She shook her head, fighting the urge to curl into a ball and cry. She was worried, naturally. He was her husband, he was her life partner; the closest thing to true love she'd ever known.

"They might be fine," that same voice suggested, a gentle, calming tone.

But she could feel it, the pain was too strong. She could feel that it wasn't that simple. That something terrible had happened. The car pulled into a space, she was pulled out by the person with her. She didn't really pay attention, or know what to do or say. She just went along with them, following the crowd.

"Howard Dixon and Naomi Campbell."

His name made her sob, a wave of uncontrollable tears reached her throat. She felt sick again, but this time her throat felt watery, like she was going to be sick. Time was moving, the people talking to them changed, but it was all a blur.

"Miss Campbell is currently in X-ray, we suspect a couple of broken bones, but mainly cuts and bruises, she's very lucky."

"And Howie?" Katie asked, fighting the urge to throw up.

"Mr Dixon is in intensive care."

It was all she needed to know. She could feel her body shaking, her knees giving way.

"He's critical, but stable."

The people that were around them had gone. There was a strange silence. Two hands continued to hold her weak, wrecked body. He was still alive. She had to keep telling herself. She had to stay strong. She had to stay strong for her son. She had to act like a wife who's husband was ill, not a widow. He wasn't dead, her son still had a father, she still had a husband. And with that she felt herself calming, relaxing slightly. Her tears subsided and she finally found herself sat in a quiet room, with Emily; her best friend, her twin sister, beside her.

"I'm sorry," Katie whispered.

"What for?" Emily asked, her eyes swollen and red.

"For everything."

*

The waiting was driving Emily mad. She didn't want to think about Naomi, or Howard. Or even what could have happened. She didn't want to think full stop. If she did, she knew her thoughts would take her to a place they shouldn't go. To a love she still felt so strongly for the girl she'd let go. To the birth mother of her child, her baby boy who very nearly could have lost one of his parents. To Lexie, the little girl who'd had too much bad luck in her eight short years. She watched her sister, watched her change from a nearly broken woman shocked by her husbands misfortune, to someone so much stronger than that within minutes and Emily knew it was because of William. She wished she could feel so strong, so infallible to the woes of the world. But her heart was filled with a pain she'd pushed aside months ago, it was filled with a sorrow she knew was destructive, it was filled with a regret that she hadn't put right a wrong and instead had let it tear her family in two.

"You may see them now."

The green light they'd both been anticipating, excepting with a mixture of glee and distress. Emily knew that Naomi was okay, but that also meant that Naomi's mind and most importantly her hatred of Emily was also working fine. Howard on the other hand was not. They had no way to predict what he would look like, whether he was awake or not, whether he was on a road to recovery, or on a road to something else entirely.

*

"Miss Campbell, you have a visitor," the attending nurse informed the blonde.

The accident was a blur, her mind was a jumbled mess of images and lights that flickered on and off. They said it might come back to her, or that it might never return. She didn't care either way. A visitor. She thought about who could be coming to see her. She didn't have any family, she didn't really have any friends. She thought about Howard and begged that he was in the same boat as her; broken, but okay. The curtain opened and the flaming red hair she associated with pain came into view.

"What are you doing here?"

It wasn't the reaction Emil had hoped for. Sitting in the waiting room, analysing her worries, her thoughts and her feelings. It had all formed a hope that Naomi would feel the same way and that the accident would reunite them. But those few, small words reversed that possibility in an instant.

"I came here for you, I was worried."

"What's it got to do with you anymore?"

What did it have to do with her? She was her estranged wife, they were separated, married on a certificate and not by love. She had no right being there. But it wasn't that simple, she knew that as soon as she saw Naomi's blue eyes staring at her and she remembered the blue eyes of their son.

"Harley, for one."

Their son. Their baby boy. Her son, the product of nine months that her body went through. Naomi knew she was being selfish, but she was also still hurting. Emily made her feel anything but okay. Being in her presence in the months since the separation only made her feel worse.

"Just go home, I don't need you here."

"But you're hurt, how can you," Emily tried.

Naomi shot her down, "I said go Emily. I'll figure it out myself."

"Please," those brown eyes, down turned like a puppy dog, such sorrow within them.

She was sick of Emily's sorrowful looks. They used to make her feel bad, or sorry for her. But now they just made her cringe.

"Fuck off, I don't want you here."

"No need to swear at me," Emily cried out, wiping a few stray tears.

The waterworks. Emily's tears also made her feel bad, or at least they used to. Once in a while though, they made her feel powerful. For once, it wasn't her crying, for just one moment her body wasn't the one breaking when they spoke, it wasn't reacting to the rejection. Instead, she was watching Emily react, watching Emily feel as much pain as she herself felt.

"You won't listen to reason, so what is the fucking point? Leave me the hell alone."

It worked. Emily turned around and walked out of the room, her silence speaking volumes, Naomi's success at pushing her further away.

*

The room was filled with machines, the machines filled with sounds. It made Katie laugh, a nervous laughter. A hospital was supposed to be a place to get some rest, to recover from illness and they put people in rooms where there was no hope of silence. She walked over to the bed, sliding her hand into Howard's and watching his chest rise and fall. His nose was bloodstained, his eyebrow cut, a huge bruise across his forehead. If she didn't have memories of what Howard usually looked like, Katie wouldn't have been able to handle it. He looked a mess, but he still looked like Howard.

"You scared me babe, you really fucking scared me."

She felt angry, angry that he'd got into an accident, angry that he'd put himself at risk when they had a son and a marriage. But she knew that she was only angry, because if she wasn't, all she would have was tears. She didn't want to cry again, she wasn't ready to let that pain in.

"You need to get better, alright?" she muttered, squeezing his hand, "You need to get some rest and in the morning, maybe you'll wake up."

"The doctor did speak to you, didn't he?" a woman asked, approaching behind her.

"Yes," Katie replied, turning to face a nurse.

"We're keeping him comatose for at least a few days, he won't be waking up in the morning."

Katie nodded. She knew that. But she wanted to let her ideal situation mask what was really going on, for now. She wasn't ready to cope with her husband being in a coma, she wasn't ready to cope with the fact his brain was swelling inside his skull. She just wanted to pretend, if only for a night, that everything was going to be fine.

*

Leaving Katie at the hospital, Emily returned to her apartment. She stood in front of the mirror and laughed at her reflection. Her eyes were black, stained with make up that had mixed with her tears. She looked nothing like she had before she left for her night out. The night was drawing to a close as sunlight peaked through the blinds in her bathroom. She fumbled through her jewellery box, looking for her watch, that informed her that it was almost five in the morning. There wasn't much opportunity left for sleep, but Emily crawled across her bed and slid under the covers, hoping to sleep at least a little.

"Naomi," Emily gasped, waking up with a start, her blankets twisted around her body.

The room was quiet and empty, the uncovered window letting in sunlight from all directions. Emily rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. It was eleven in the morning. She still felt groggy and in need of several more hours. But she pulled herself from her bed and got ready to pick up the children.

*

The moment she was released from hospital, Naomi took a taxi to the Fitch house. She was tired and knew she looked a state in her dress, with a broken arm. But it didn't matter much to her.

"I thought they were going home with Emily," Jenna muttered, reluctantly handing over Harley.

"Well they're not," Naomi replied.

The front door of the Fitch house closed behind them. She knew she was lying, but she wanted to take her children home. She struggled to carry her son and his bag full of things as they walked down the path.

"Going somewhere?" the deep, gruff, familiar voice of Emily asked.

"Home," Naomi muttered, dropping the baby's bag on the floor, "Can you get that Lex?"

All she wanted to do was take Harley and Lexie back to her apartment and spend the weekend with them, like planned. But the moment she'd caught sight of Naomi, carrying their son, her heart skipped a beat. Something wasn't right.

"But I want to go back to Emily's like we were supposed to," Lexie mumbled, picking up the baby's bag.

"Well you're not, so put those bags in the taxi."

"This isn't right," Emily cried, "I'm supposed to have them, this is my weekend."

Naomi's blue eyes looked deep into Emily's brown ones. It frightened Emily how still they were, just staring back without feeling. Their eyes had always had a connection that they liked to pursue, but now Naomi's eyes were saying just as much, without saying anything. Their relationship was in tatters and now their connection was broken.

"You can't do this," Emily begged.

"Watch me."

"Please Naomi, I want to go to Emily's," Lexie added.

"No Lexie, get into the taxi."

"You can't do this Naomi, we had an agreement."

"Well I changed my mind."

Lexie finally followed Naomi's instruction, an apologetic smile on her lips. Emily watched as her family got into the taxi and drove away. This wasn't how things were supposed to be, they had agreed on a custody arrangement civilly, without involving lawyers. It had been done that way because they didn't want to drag the kids through a messy battle. It had worked, at least she thought it had.

**Author Notes: Did you enjoy reading this chapter? Do you hate me for being mean? Let me know your thoughts, click the button below.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Firstly, thanks for the reviews...secondly, I'm sorry.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Four**

"This is Naomi, sorry I can't take your call right now, but if,"

Slamming the phone down, Emily let out a small scream. She was pissed off. It had been four days since she saw Naomi, four days since she took their son away. She knew exactly where they were and how to find them, which was what made it even harder to bare. She'd left messages, left pleas, she even screamed down the phone in a drunken rage at one point. But nothing worked. She sat at the phone, pressing redial. It was a game she'd taken to playing. Ring so many times that Naomi would eventually get so annoyed that she'd have to pick up. It was so far unsuccessful.

"This is Naomi, sorry I can't take your call right now, but if,"

She slammed the phone down again, then cursed loudly as a small piece of the plastic handset chipped off. It felt like a childish prank, ringing her repeatedly. But she knew no other way. She let the phone ring again, and again. Every time it rang out, then eventually clicked onto the answer machine. If she wasn't so sick of hearing it, she would have rang it just to hear Naomi's voice. The day was drawing to a close, the windows growing dark from the recent sunset. Emily was tired. It had been an hour since she'd first started calling. It was almost seven. If Naomi didn't pick up soon, Harley would never go to bed with the constant ringing. It was a cruel thought and she silently apologised to her son for it. Then dialled the number again.

"I'm sorry, it has not been possible to connect your call, please try again later."

The handset flew across the room, plastic chips flying in all directions as the phone broke against the wall. Emily screamed, cursing loudly at the perfect wall now scared by her temper. There wasn't much else she could do. So she picked up her keys from the table by the door and rushed down the two flights of stairs. If Naomi wouldn't answer her call after four days, she would open her door. She just had to.

*

She'd turned her mobile phone off long ago. It was the only way to stop Emily from ringing it. But she would not give up with the landline. It was driving her insane and Harley cried every time he heard the ringing. She didn't want to be out of phone contact but there was no other way to get Emily off her back. When the phone stopped ringing she felt better and Harley instantly settled.

"Why do you keep ignoring the phone?" Lexie questioned.

"It's people selling something," Naomi lied.

"It wasn't yesterday, it was Emily."

Sometimes her little sister was too smart for her own good with her observations. She'd inherited a trait that wasn't even in her family line. It belonged to Effy. It made her laugh most days and puzzled her on others because Lexie had never even met Effy. But today it just annoyed her.

"What do you want for lunch tomorrow?" Naomi questioned.

"Just because you ignore a question doesn't mean it goes away."

Naomi could feel herself getting angry. She didn't like feeling that way with Lexie. She loved her like she was her own daughter, she would do anything for her. Except when it came to Emily. The little girl stared at her; her eyes penetrating the lies, pushing through the things Naomi often told her to get her off her back. Naomi returned her stare, waiting for her next comment, waiting for her to discover a terrorist plot next door or decide that Harley was really the son of a superhero who donated sperm to pass on his super powers to a child who would grow up human. She didn't put it past her. They were quickly pulled from their showdown by a bang on the door. Lexie jumped down from her seat to answer it.

"Don't," Naomi muttered, waiting for a moment, hoping that Emily hadn't found another way to contact her.

"Naomi, open the fucking door," came a scream.

"It's Emily," Lexie grinned, running off towards the door. Naomi cursed under her breath and followed her.

"Don't open the door Lexie," she warned.

"Why not?"

"Don't do it."

"But it's Emily," she pleaded.

"I said don't open the fucking door."

The little girls eyes grew wet with tears. Naomi knew how close she had grown to Emily, how much of a mother she was to her.

"If you're not carefully I'm gonna start calling it a fucking door," she snapped, running off upstairs and slamming her bedroom door.

There was a moments silence. Before Harley started to cry and Emily started to shout again. She looked to the door, trying to decide what her next action should be. She turned to the stairs and decided that Harley needed her more. She walked up to his room and pulled him into her arms, rocking him until he settled.

*

Tired and weary, Emily still found the energy to punch the door with her fist, switching hands every few minutes. Her voice was growing hoarse, disappearing slightly under the increased use. She didn't know how long she'd been there, it was irrelevant. She just knew Naomi would answer, eventually. She had to. She just had to.

"Open this mother fucking door you bitch," she screamed.

For a while she'd toned down the swearing, hoping it would assist her. She'd even taking to knocking lighter. But after twenty five minutes of the tame approach, she'd given up and returned to her anger. There was no response. Inside she could hear the baby crying. It broke her heart knowing he was in there, her beautiful son. Being so close, yet so far away made it harder to bare. She couldn't handle it anymore. She had to get inside, she just needed to see her son.

"I know you're fucking in there Naomi, why the fuck won't you answer your fucking door? I know you know I'm here, stop fucking ignore me, he's my fucking son too."

Her wrist hurt, her fingers cramped and her voice was slowly disappearing. She felt panic building in her. She couldn't handle it. She couldn't handle what Naomi was doing. Her heart was breaking in two, her eyes seeping tears as a final wave of anger prompted an even more furious rant at the door.

"Excuse me," a voice made her turn around.

The police. She turned back to the house, staring up at the front window, where the curtains moved and the blonde haired woman appeared.

"You called the fucking police, you fucking bitch," Emily screamed.

"You're going to have to come with us," the female police officer informed her.

"No," Emily cried.

"Then we'll arrest you for breaching the police."

It was no use. Naomi wasn't answering her door, she wasn't giving in. Emily was tired, tired of fighting. She let the officers lead her to their car. It was all just a big mistake. She didn't want to hurt Naomi, she just wanted her son back. But as the car door closed and she rested herself against the seat, she felt her eyes growing heavy and her body slip into a state of sleep.

**Author Notes: What did you think? I know it's harsh. But I still want your thoughts...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Being unemployed does wonders for writing fanfiction...not that the Jobcentre would agree that was a good thing I'm sure. Thank you all for the reviews, I understand you're all pretty curious as to what exactly has been going on, but I want you to be patient as all of your questions will be answered eventually. I hope you enjoy this chapter...and I can't wait to write the next one.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Five**

Waking up to four drab walls, one covered in an orange substance that Emily dreaded to think about, was a wake up call. She felt hung-over, despite having not drunk any alcohol the night before. After alerting the police officer on shift that she was awake, she was allowed to make her phone call.

"Please can you come get me, I didn't know who else to call."

Eventually the jail cell door opened an hour or so later and Emily jumped to her feet greeting JJ with a hug. She smiled at how smart he looked in a suit and tie, his hair carefully organised on top of his head.

"You can go home soon," he informed her.

"Thanks JJ, thank you so much."

She hugged him again, prompting a red faced JJ to clear his throat and push his briefcase between them. She wanted to laugh, but thought it rude since he was doing her a favour.

"Why exactly did you call me Emily? You said you didn't know who else to call, but I know of lots of people. Naomi for a start, then Katie, her husband, then your parents and your brother and your boss at work, or even the girl that Katie said you had sex with."

"You're the only one not busy, I'm not embarrassed to call you and I remembered you talking about law the other night."

"I am a lawyer, yes," he smiled, "Good choice."

After another half hour, JJ pushed the police station door open and led Emily to his car. Freedom. She took a deep breath, taking in the fresh air that smelled so sweet compared to the odd stenches of the prison cell. It certainly wasn't a place she wanted to end up again. The drive back to her apartment was silent.

"Would you like a drink? Something to eat?" Emily offered.

"No thank you, I don't eat between breakfast and lunch. Carol says that a mid morning snack is usually when people put on the most weight, I think she's right."

Emily nodded as she pulled out some of the contents of her fridge in the hope of making herself a sandwich. JJ hovered beside her, looking anything but comfortable.

"You can sit down J," she smiled.

"Oh, yes," he stuttered, "I wasn't sure, Carol says that I'm too nervous about sitting in other people's houses and that I shouldn't be because usually it's okay."

"She seems like she knows you well," Emily mumbled.

"Oh she does, I know her well too. She has sixteen pairs of shoes that she wears all the time and four pairs of the same kind of underwear because it's her favourite."

There was a silence. Emily glanced up to find JJ blushing profusely. She let out a small chuckle and carried her food towards the table, where she sat down opposite her old friend.

"What do you know about family law?" she asked, taking a bite.

"Family law?" JJ repeated, "Like divorce, division of assets and custody of children?"

Emily nodded. It made her nervous to question her rights, to seek the advice of someone who knew more about the law. But the night in the jail cell had given her a chance to think logically about her situation. She was by law Harley's second parent and had parental responsibility over Lexie. That had to give her some rights.

"Naomi won't let me see my son, I need to know where I stand."

"Who," JJ stuttered, "Who had, who,"

"Naomi gave birth to him," Emily replied, "But I legally adopted him and I have parental responsibility for Lexie."

"If you want to go to the family mediation service to discuss a custody arrangement, that is the first thing you can do, or if Naomi won't cooperate, then you can apply straight to the courts."

"I guess we'll be going straight to court," Emily whispered.

"You'll need a lawyer, but I don't think you should do that yet Emily. If you just talked to Naomi,"

"Why do you think I got arrested J? She won't fucking listen to me."

"Well there must be another way, it's better to sort this out yourselves, it's better for everybody if you keep this out of court. Emily if you go to court, you could lose. Or Naomi could lose. One of you will be happier than the other and then you'll never be happy together. If you just come to some sort of arrangement where you're both happy now,"

"Don't you think we haven't tried that?" Emily snapped, "That's what it was supposed to be, she was supposed to fucking share custody, until she decided to change her mind."

They came to a conclusion. JJ would help her to put her claim for custody into writing and pass it on to Naomi, in the hope that a third party would help start a negotiation between them. She was reluctant and had little faith in the process, but it was a start.

"Would you like some wine?" Emily asked, popping the cork and pouring herself a glass.

"I shouldn't," JJ answered, "Carol wants me to be healthy and she says that I get over stimulated if I drink wine in the middle of the day, besides, I don't think she'd be too happy if I arrived home drunk."

"You love her, don't you?" Emily smiled, returning to her seat opposite him.

"It depends how you define the word love really. Do I care about her a normal amount for a man who has sex five times a week and shares a life with the same woman? Yes. Do I care about her but fuck other women behind her back? No. But then is that really loving someone? If I was to do that. Frankly, I think love is overrated because even if I didn't love her, I could still happily share my life with her, but then if we wanted to have children then I'd have to marry her and well, this isn't really answering the question now is it?"

Resting a hand on JJ's arm, Emily smiled, "Just a yes or a no."

"Yes."

Saving the document on his laptop, JJ closed the lid and slid it back into his briefcase. He didn't like Emily's questions, but they led to an interesting thought in his mind. He'd thought about it for a while, but hadn't really come to a conclusion. He always knew his conclusive powers for matters of the heart were pretty darn awful.

"Emily?"

"Yes JJ."

"I think I want to marry my girlfriend, but I don't know if it's just because she gives good sex, or because I really want to spend the rest of my life with her, she talks about marriage all the time and children and well I don't think we're quite ready for children, but I want to marry her and well…I just answered my own question didn't I?"

"Yes JJ," Emily grinned, "It sounds like you want to marry her to me."

"How do I do it?"

"Do what?"

"Ask her."

"You just ask her," Emily shrugged.

"But I can't just walk up to her and say Carol, I want to marry you, that's not very romantic and well she's always watching those rom-com films about men asking women to marry them and I think she wants something more, well, romantic."

"Okay."

"I need your help."

*

It had been a long night. As much as Naomi wanted to sleep, her mind wouldn't switch off. Dealing with Emily's constant calls had tired her out, but watching her being taken away by the police was even harder. She didn't want that. She didn't even know how it happened. The nosey old woman down the street probably called them. She hated having lesbians in her street and always turned her nose up at them.

"Mummy, ball," Harley grinned, throwing a plastic ball down on the table in front of her.

"You want to play?" He nodded his head, "Catch!"

It was a rare moment where Naomi let herself smile. She could feel her mood getting to her, making her more depressed with every day. It wasn't doing her any good keeping Emily at arms length, but pulling her closer wasn't an option either.

"Why did the police come last night?" Lexie asked, staring Naomi down with her observant eyes.

"You saw them?"

"I looked out the window when they drove away," she mumbled.

"Must have been some disturbance," Naomi muttered.

"Emily was the only person making any noise outside."

"Just drop it Lex, take Harley outside and play football or something, I have some work to do."

Lexie rolled her eyes and led the little boy out the back door. Naomi let out a breath as the door closed. It hurt her to feel relieved that they'd gone outside. It shouldn't be that way, she knew it shouldn't be that way. A loud banging on the door made her jump, a spasm of fear and regret shooting through her.

"Fucking hell," she screamed, banging the table with her fist.

There was no shouting and after a few moments the banging stopped, repeated again. It wasn't even a bang, more a gentle knocking. Naomi took a deep breath and opened the front door.

"JJ?"

"Oh hello Naomi, may I please come in?"

She had expected someone persuading her to use a different gas company, or a Jehovah's Witness coming to convert her. The one person she didn't expect in a million years, was the one person who had actually appeared on her doorstep. She was too taken aback that she let him in, stepping aside without a second thought. They walked into the kitchen where she checked on the children through the window, she took steps to make him feel more comfortable; offering him a seat and a drink, even pulling out a packet of chocolate digestives. It wasn't until the two of them were sat down that she began to ask herself questions. What exactly was JJ doing there?

"I know you're probably wondering why I'm here," he asked, she nodded, "I'm here on behalf of Emily."

It was a joke. The world was playing a joke on her. She let out a small laugh, but JJ's confused expression put her quickly in her place.

"I think you should leave JJ," she responded.

"I wasn't intending staying very long, this envelope has a number of documents in it, each outlining Emily's claim for custody."

"Custody?"

"I recommend that you talk to her Naomi, if you don't sort this out yourselves, you'll both end up in court and I know that's not what you want."

"Custody?" she repeated, the revelation knocking her down.

"Emily is heartbroken, if you don't let her see your son, she will take this further."

A lump in Naomi's throat hurt as it slipped down with a gulp. She was shocked. This wasn't what she'd expected from JJ, or from Emily. They'd always been so amicable. Or at least they had until she'd kept the kids away from Emily. It was her own fault, she'd dug herself this hole. But the light was disappearing, she couldn't see a way of fixing this without digging deeper.

"I really think it's time you left now JJ," Naomi answered.

"Please Naomi," JJ muttered, standing up and pushing the envelope towards her, "Just think about what I've said, don't let this go to court, for your son's sake."

Reaching a hand out to the envelope, Naomi could feel herself shaking. She couldn't look him in the eye, she could barely breath. She didn't want to lose her son. She couldn't. The space in front of her was quickly vacated and the front door made it's closing click.

*

That evening once Lexie and Harley were asleep, Naomi sat down in front of the television. Her mind was anywhere but the movie playing. She flicked through the channels, but after only a minute decided to turn it off. She wasn't interested in any of it. Instead she just sat, letting the silence spread through the room. It was too silent. It was almost like there was no one else in the house. It was a frightening thought and one that made tears prick Naomi's eyelids. She reached for the envelope that JJ had left and finally opened it, staring down at the information.

"Custody of Harley James Fitch-Campbell and Lexie Louise Browning."

The tears that previously threatened to fall began sliding down her cheeks. As soon as JJ mentioned custody she knew that Emily would want their son, but it hadn't even crossed her mind that she'd want custody of Lexie too. They'd both taken on the job of bringing her up and as soon as they'd had their civil partnership ceremony, they'd ensured that Emily was a legal parent. But none of that had prepared her for this. She felt broken, confused. She didn't know what to do with herself. She was scared, really scared as she sobbed uncontrollably. After a few minute she pulled herself together enough to plug the phone back in and dial the first number she could think of.

"Effy? Please can you come over, I need, I just need…someone."

**Author Notes: So...yes...questions? Thoughts? Or if you have any ideas then feel free to share them. The button below is where to go.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you so much guys for all of your reviews. Hopefully this chapter will help answer at least one question that has come up, I'm not the happiest with this chapter, but hopefully it's okay.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Six**

The mug of steamy coffee felt good to drink. It made Emily feel warm inside and revitalised her after a difficult night's sleep. Things were no different, she still had no access to her children and JJ's hope of getting Naomi to review the situation before it reached the local authority had seemed to backfire.

"She's not letting you see them?" Katie asked, sipping her own mug of coffee.

"No, she hasn't answered my calls all week and she got me arrested for harassing her,"

"You got arrested?" Katie gasped, "What the hell happened while I was at Howie's bedside?"

"A lot," Emily sighed, resting a hand on her sisters arm, "How is he?"

"Not very much change, they tried to bring him round yesterday but he's being stubborn,"

"Stubborn?" Emily laughed.

"They put him into a coma so he'd get better quicker, now they've tried to wake him and he's taking his time. Makes me wonder if he even wants to wake up."

"Of course he does, he's got you to wake up to and your little boy."

It hadn't been an easy week. Dealing with Howard being unconscious and having to look after William. But Katie was feeling strong. She wondered if she was being too strong. If she was detaching herself too much from the pain she knew she should be suffering. But it wasn't productive and it was hard enough seeing him every day, not awake, unable to talk.

"Where's William?" Katie asked, looking around to the toys behind them where her son was previously sat.

"Bathroom?" Emily suggested.

"William Robert Dixon, come back into the kitchen please," she called.

There was no response. The twins sat watching the door for a few minutes. Eventually he appeared in the doorway, looking up at his mum and aunt sheepishly, his face bright pink and blue.

"What are you wearing?" Emily giggled.

"I wanted to dress up," he smiled, twirling around in a pink tutu.

"And put on Auntie Emily's make up?" Katie gasped, jumping up and grabbing a cloth.

"I was playing."

"You apologise to Emily for using her make up without asking," Katie demanded.

"Its fine," Emily laughed.

"Fine?" Katie rolled her eyes, "He's a three year old boy, he's supposed to play with cars and play fight, not dress up like a fairy and wear make up."

"Its a natural curiosity," Emily responded.

"Natural curiosity for what?" Katie mumbled, "For being homosexual?"

"He's not going to turn out gay just because he's dressing up, if that's what you're worried about."

After cleaning William up, Katie brought him back into the room, still dressed in the tutu. A look of displeasure on her face.

"He didn't want to get changed," she moaned.

"I wanna be a fairy," William grinned, climbing onto the chair beside Emily.

"It's a shame Lexie's not here, I'm sure she'd love to be a fairy with you," Emily smiled.

"Where's Harley?"

"He's not here either, he's staying with Auntie Naomi at the moment."

"Okay, mummy can I have a biscuit?"

Emily watched William eating his biscuit. His dark red hair curled slightly at the ends, his face a perfect mix of his mother and father. It made her happy to watch him doing anything, knowing that she'd helped him come into the world, watching the pleasure he brought Katie and Howard. It broke her heart to know his father was so ill.

"Will, do you want to go into the lounge and pick out a DVD to watch before nursery? I'll come and put it on for you in a minute."

The little boy nodded and ran out of the room, doing the odd skip as he twirled around in his tutu.

"How is Howard doing?" she asked, returning to the earlier conversation.

"Oh you know, other than being unconscious," Katie rolled her eyes.

"I mean, what are his chances?"

"It's pretty simple apparently, if he wakes up things will probably be fine in the long run, but if he doesn't…"

"In the long run? Is there going to be any problems when he wakes?"

Katie shook her head, but paused. She had a habit of ignoring the truth to help stay strong. But Emily's line of questioning was making it difficult.

"They don't know, but the swelling has gone down and they think he's on the mend, but until he wakes up they won't know for sure if there's been any lasting damage."

"I really hope he's okay," Emily sighed, rubbing Katie's shoulder.

"Me too, I'm sick of having to tell William that Howard is away for work."

"He doesn't know then?"

Katie shrugged, "I don't think it's a good idea telling him until Howard is on the mend."

"I suppose it makes sense, no point worrying him, he's so young I doubt he'd understand anyway."

"Exactly."

The conversation was interrupted by Katie's phone ringing. Emily cleared up the cups and plate of biscuits while her sister answered the phone. Once she'd hung up again, Emily turned off the tap and raised an eyebrow at Katie, who stood with a grin on her face.

"He's waking up," she gasped.

"Waking up?" Emily frowned.

"He started to stir half an hour ago, the doctor's checking him over, but they say he should be awake in the next couple of hours. I've got to get over there."

"That's fantastic Katie," Emily grinned.

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Does it involve Will?" Katie nodded, "Sure I'll drop him at nursery on my way to work."

"Thank you Ems, I owe you one."

Emily's mouth curled into a smile that wouldn't disappear as she hugged her sister goodbye and watched her leave the house. Even if things in her life weren't going the way she would have planned, at least things were improving for Katie.

*

The bed was empty. It was always empty. Ever since the separation, Naomi had done everything she could to make sure her bed wasn't empty in the morning. But more often than not, there was a vacant space beside her. She rolled over and glanced at the clock, groaning as she realised how late it was.

"Naomi, I'm going to be late for school," Lexie informed her, appearing at her side.

"Can you call Peter's mum and ask her to take you?" Naomi sighed, covering her face with a pillow.

"No, you have to take me to school and then Harley needs to go to nursery."

She was right. She was always right. But Naomi didn't have the energy to listen to her today. She wondered if it was wrong to just ignore Lexie's need for education and stay in bed all day. Before she had chance to make a decision, there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it since you obviously can't be bothered," Lexie mumbled, walking out of the bedroom and downstairs to the front door.

The door opened a small amount and Lexie peaked through the gap, looking up at the brown haired woman whom she'd never met before. She frowned, unsure what to say to the stranger.

"Hi, I'm looking for Naomi Campbell, is this her house?"

"Yes," Lexie replied, not moving the door, "Who are you?"

"I'm Effy, Effy Stonem, I'm a friend of Naomi's."

It confused her. Effy knew that Naomi had to look after her sister, but she didn't expect her to look quite so similar, nor did she expect her to stare at her as soon as she'd introduced herself. After a minute the door swung open fully and the little girl stepped aside for Effy to enter the house.

"Naomi's upstairs, but she won't get out of bed because she's having a depressing day again," Lexie informed her, before walking off into the lounge.

"Okay," Effy frowned, taking the stairs up to the first floor of the house.

Lexie hadn't come back, nor had she shouted up about the person at the door. So Naomi turned herself over and burrowed back under the duvet in the hope of shutting out the world.

"You better get up Campbell," a voice spoke, making her jump, she pushed the covers away from her face and stared at the brunette.

"Oh, you came?"

"Said I would, didn't I?"

"I guess so."

"Now get out of the bed and put some clothes on, or do I have to do it for you?"

It pissed her off that Effy was coming in with demands when she'd been there for five minutes and knew nothing. It was typical Effy to take charge and do what she wanted, regardless of other people's opinions. It felt comforting to have her old friend in her room, even if she was annoyed. She slid out from under the covers, not caring that she was naked, before she found some clothes in her drawers.

"Naomi, I have school," came a shout from the hallway, "Are you taking me or not?"

"Guess I should take care of that," Naomi muttered, "It's only a quick drive."

"I'll come,"

"Why?"

The brunette shrugged, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and handing her an offering. Naomi shook her head and slid her blouse over her shoulders. Effy pushed the cigarette into her mouth and pulled out a lighter, before pausing.

"Do you mind?"

"Outside," Naomi replied, prompting the brunette to slide her unlit cigarette back into it's packet.

They dropped Lexie and Harley off and drove back to the house. Effy stood by the back door smoking a cigarette, whilst Naomi stood on the other side of the kitchen making drinks and pouring herself a bowl of cereal.

"You've been struggling," Effy mused.

"What?" Naomi asked.

"With everything, you've been struggling, since the reunion."

"I've been fine," Naomi assured her.

"Sure, you've been fine."

Effy's deep, dark eyes looked her up and down, kept their gaze on her face. Effy was being Effy. Naomi looked away, feeling ashamed that she wasn't admitting her feelings to herself, let alone Effy. She didn't want to think about it. It suddenly dawned on Naomi why she'd called Effy. She knew she'd push her to face her feelings, even if she wasn't ready to.

"I've been a mess," she admitted.

"All this would be sorted if you'd just tell Emily that you still love her," Effy sighed, taking a long drag of her cigarette and flicking it onto the patio.

"I'm not still in love with her, she fucking cheated on me," Naomi defended.

"She cheated on you and you still love her," Effy reworded.

"You're fucking wrong." Naomi snapped.

There was a shrug, a small shrug that made Naomi want to slap her. She thought about the times she got annoyed at Lexie for being so observant. It was nothing compared to Effy. There was silence. Effy picked up her drink and sat down, watching Naomi as she poured milk into her cereal.

"What?" Naomi asked, already annoyed at Effy staring at her.

"You don't look good,"

"Always the compliment giver, aren't you Eff?" Naomi sighed, slightly offended.

"You look tired."

"I haven't slept."

"You look like you need a break," Effy informed her.

"I do need a break, a break from people assuming they know how I'm feeling," Naomi snapped.

"You said last night that you won't let the kids go to Emily," Naomi nodded, "I think you should."

"Are you supposed to be on my side or hers?"

The conversation wasn't going the way she'd hoped. She wished that Effy would have arrived with a bottle of wine in her hand for a supportive offering. She didn't expect her to make demands, or make assumptions. She was growing irate the more Effy spoke. But deep down she knew that it was because Effy was right.

"I don't take sides, you know that."

"Then what the fuck are you doing here?" Naomi snapped.

"I came because you asked."

It was spot on. She'd asked her to come. Knowing full well that Effy didn't take sides, nor did she make it easy; she had asked her to come regardless of the challenges she knew it would bring. Everything that was annoying her, was annoying her because she'd let it happen.

"I can't let them go to Emily's," Naomi admitted, sitting down and pushing her hands against her face.

"But you need a break," Effy stated.

"That's besides the point," Naomi sighed, brushing a few stray tears.

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because?"

She didn't want to cry again. She didn't want to appear vulnerable in front of Effy. But it was too late. Her eyes were leaking, letting the tears stroll down her cheeks as her true feelings were beginning to surface.

"Because without them, I have nothing."

"Nothing?"

"I don't have any family left except for Lexie, I don't have any fucking friends because Emily was my best and only friend, the only other person I ever talked to is in hospital in a fucking coma, what have I got if my kids aren't here? What the fuck do I have left?"

Words were obsolete. There was nothing Effy could think of to say that would make any difference. She reached forwards to embrace Naomi, letting her get out her sorrow. She hadn't intended to push Naomi to breaking point, but she knew she'd done the right thing. She let Naomi cry against her shoulder, brushing the blonde's hair behind her ear and rubbing her back in support. After a while she pulled away and Naomi wiped her tear stained face.

"I just can't do it, alright?"

"I think you have to," Effy whispered.

"But, it's too hard."

"I can stay here while they're away, if that's what you need."

"Okay," Naomi finally replied, wondering just how easy it would be.

**Author Notes: Enjoy this chapter? Enjoy the whole story? Then please review. Ever been to the cinema and not chatted about whether you liked the film? You do it there, so why not do it here too and click the review button.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for your reviews, your comments always make me smile and it's always a nice surprise to see my inbox flash with new reviews.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Seven**

The expectations were high. Katie had a feeling that everything was going to be okay, that Howard waking up would be the start of the rest of their lives together. She knew it was a premature thought, but it didn't matter. She rushed through the hospital doors, hoping that Howard would be completely awake by the time she got into the room. She stopped outside his door and applied the hand sanitizer, before pushing the doot open. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw him; sat up, his beautiful green eyes open and alert, his arms moving around as a nurse tried to hold him still. Her breath caught in her throat as she took in the scene.

"Get your fucking hands off me," he screamed, struggling under the grasp of two nurses.

"Mr Dixon, just calm down," one of the nurses tried.

It was a shock. Howard was there, he was awake, but his behaviour wasn't what Katie expected. She took a step forward, cautiously.

"Howie?" she asked, looking into his eyes, staring at the man she loved.

"Katie," he grinned, his mood changing as he reached his arms out to his wife.

The nurses let go of him, stepping back enough for Katie to step forwards. The moments before forgotten as Katie pushed her face into Howard's chest, clinging to him with a level of happiness she didn't think she could feel. He was still hooked up to machines, his face was still bruised and he still looked like he should be in hospital, but at least he was on the road to recovery.

"It's been too long," Katie sniffled, rubbing his hand as she sat beside him.

"I feel like someone's beaten me up," he mumbled, laying back against the pillows with exhaustion.

"You look like it too," Katie chuckled.

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?"

"Not a second."

"You were in an accident, you crashed the car."

There was a silence. Howard was processing the information, refilling the gaps in his memory. His head hurt, it was difficult to think straight. But one thing kept coming to mind.

"William, I want to see him,"

Katie looked reluctant, "I'm not sure if that's a good idea."

"But he's my little boy, I need to see him," Howard snapped.

"Howie, you're sick, I don't want him to see you like this, it's not fair on him," she tried.

"Don't tell me what's fucking fair Katie, I want to see my bloody son, you've got to bring him in."

Howard's words were harsh and she could feel them seeping in. She didn't want them to bother her, but they did.

"I can't do that yet, okay? And don't swear at me Howard."

"Don't you tell me what to do you bitch, none of this is fair, you can't stop me from seeing him."

"I'm not," Katie cried, "I will bring him in when you don't have a tube up your nose, you'll scare him."

"You can't fucking do this Katie, you can't fucking do this, do you want me to make you do it?" he snapped, grabbing her wrist.

She couldn't understand who was lay in front of her. He was supposed to be her husband. He was supposed to care about her, not abuse her. She felt scared, fearful of the man she thought she knew.

"Mrs Dixon?" Katie turned around, pulling her wrist from Howard's grasp, her eyes filling with tears. She turned to face the doctor, but before she could speak she felt her tears turn into sobs, so she fled the room, not stopping until she was out in the corridor, alone.

*

There was a knock on the door. Something which was completely unexpected. People rarely turned up at the apartment in the late afternoon and Emily didn't get sales calls. She opened the door, hoping for someone easy to get rid of.

"Effy?" Emily gasped, more confused by her presence than shocked.

"I brought someone to see you," she announced.

She had to do a double take as she saw Lexie walking towards the door, Harley's chubby hand tightly in hers. It was reminiscent of the day she moved in, a day when her life was so much happier. She stepped forwards, pulling her son into her arms, wrapping an arm around Lexie. She wanted to kiss Effy, to thank her. But then it occurred to her the strangeness of the situation.

"How long are they staying?" she asked, not sure why her questioning went in the direction it was going.

"A few days," Effy muttered, handing her a bag.

Emily took it, dropping it on the floor by the door. She placed Harley on the floor next to it.

"Lexie, why don't you show Harley where his bedroom is and take the bag?"

The room emptied and Emily found herself feeling uncomfortable in Effy's presence. They'd been friends sure, but it was usually a group thing. Naomi was the one who seemed to connect with Effy one-to-one.

"Why did you have them?"

"I'm staying with Naomi for a few days, it was the only way I could get her to have a break and let them come to you."

"You, you persuaded her?" Emily asked, confused.

"I saw how much she needed time on her own, besides, I heard she's been pretty selfish."

"Yeah, she has, well, thanks."

Pushing the door, Emily could feel Effy pushing back. The conversation obviously not over. She frowned, wishing for her old friend to leave her to spend time with her children. But Effy just stared at her, her eyes watching her for a reaction.

"Can't you see she's fucking lonely?"

"What?"

"Naomi, she's lonely,"

"That's got nothing to do with me," Emily mumbled, wishing it wasn't true.

"Yes it has, you love her."

"Of course I love her, but she's moved on, I made a mistake and now I'm paying for it."

"Except that she's not moved on," Effy stated.

"But,"

"Look Emily, whatever fucked up mess you put your relationship in, Naomi still loves you. She might act like she's fine, but she's not; she's lonely and she doesn't want to be anymore."

"She doesn't love me Effy, she hates me," Emily replied, swallowing a lump in her throat.

"There's a thin line between love and hate," Effy whispered, "Just think about that."

The door closed in front of her, her mind too distracted to notice. Effy had a habit of coming into people's lives and throwing them into chaos. Emily wondered just how chaotic her life would get this time. Could it really get any worse? Or was Effy right, was Naomi ready to forgive her?

*

The chapel was empty so Katie walked down the aisle and sat on the first bench. She'd never been that religious, except for her wedding and attending church enough to get William christened. She didn't doubt that a god existed, she just struggled to understand how bad things could happen in a world looked after by someone bigger than them all. The last time she'd set foot in a church was nearly two years ago. Being there on her own made her feel comforted. She wondered if it was normal to be comforted by the empty room. She guessed that most people would say they weren't alone, that God was with them. She shifted her position, pulling her low cut top up slightly before looking to the ceiling.

"I guess I shouldn't be asking for favours when I've never done anything for you," she whispered, "But I'm really scared."

She stopped talking. Wondering if there was any chance of a response. She assumed not. There was only silence. But she decided to put her faith to the test.

"My husband is ill, though you probably know all about it," she wiped her eyes, sniffling with sadness, "I'm scared that he's changed, that he's not the man I married, I don't know if it's permanent, but I'm worried that he's lost and maybe he needs help coming back to me."

She stared at the cross hung on the wall. Her faith wasn't strong, but she tried to imagine believing in prayer with all of her heart. She wished for it to be true, wished for a sign that everything was going to be okay.

"Please help us, if not for me then do it for our son. He deserves to know his real dad, not the person I saw today."

The hospital corridors felt easier to pass through. She didn't know how it happened, but a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She suddenly felt less alone and wondered if it was God speaking to her. She walked towards Howard's door, not courageous enough to enter the room, but just to get a look at him in his bed.

"Mrs Dixon?" the doctor greeted her, his eyes down turned, "How are you?"

"I've been better," she sighed.

"I know what happened with Howard earlier must have been hard for you," she nodded, "I suspect the behaviour to be temporary."

"How do you know?" she asked, feeling doubtful.

"When a person receives a head injury a number of things can happen, there is a process of recovery. The stage he's at can result in confusion and agitation. He's been through a lot."

So many questions came to mind, so many queries about what stage would come next and how Howard would react to them all. But as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, the questions vanished.

"The recovery process could be quick, but it could also be long and difficult," the doctor continued.

"What, in what way?" she questioned, wiping a few tears away.

"There's a chance he may go through a level of depression, anger, denial, he may also push himself further than he's able to go, but he will eventually come to accept any limitations he has."

"Limitations? What sort of, limitations?"

"Simple things from spending a whole day active may make him completely exhausted, or working a whole week."

"And it's going to take a while?" Katie whispered, taking a deep breath.

"There's no set time."

"How soon til he can come home?" she asked, hopefully.

"That again has no set time, we will assess his situation. The first step is making sure he's well enough to live each day without oxygen, after that we'll transfer him to a ward. We'll make sure he has enough support and a treatment plan that rehabilitates him. We'll know more in the next week or two."

It was the news she'd been hoping for in many ways. It wasn't perfect, but it was enough for her to think about their future again. It was going to take a while for everything to be back to normal, but at least it was looking positive. When the doctor left her alone, Katie let out the breath she'd been holding in. She looked up at the ceiling, feeling like her beliefs were forming with every moment.

"Thank you."

**Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'd love it if you could leave a comment...let's face it, over 150 people reading the chapter before and only 5 reviews? There's something interesting going on there...you can review even if you're not a member, just to make that clear.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you for all of your lovely reviews, they're so nice to read. Onlymel, I hope you enjoy your holiday and hopefully you'll be happy with how the story progresses on your return. jm - I do tend to research a lot, simply because I like to get things realistic. I once wrote a story where I invented a medical issues and it just feels silly looking back, plus, it's interesting to learn about new things - like head injuries!**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Eight**

The night was finally approaching its end much to Naomi's relief. She stared up at the ceiling counting the patterns printed on the paper for the fiftieth time since she'd climbed into bed the night before. She hated the ceiling, always had and she suspected she always would. It felt wrong for her life, wrong for Emily's life when they'd both lived there. She thought about the house generally. They'd chosen it together. It was theirs. It spoke of their relationship at every available opportunity. Each wall painted or papered with a decision they'd both equally made. Each item bought with the other person in mind. The bed bought as a Queen size to accommodate their sex life, not just for a comfortable place to sleep. It was Emily and Naomi's house and sleeping under the papered ceiling, one of the few things inherited from the previous owner, she felt like she was violating something. The past maybe, the relationship that had seemed so perfect but now lay in broken shards upon the floor. She felt miserable. Her mind told her to hate Emily, her heart told her to love her. She could feel the tug of war with every breath, every minute of every day making her feel like her body was going to be ripped in half. She looked up at the ceiling again. The only thing in the house she didn't associate with Emily. The only thing she didn't feel torn about removing. She climbed out of bed, sliding into the nearest items of clothing. She retrieved a ladder from the garage, setting it up beneath the paper. She took each step up, she never liked ladders. It wasn't that she was scared of heights, she just found the wobbles of ladders unnerving. She reached the top, a victory of its own as she reached up and with her hands began to strip the paper, pulling away the horrors that she'd longed to be rid of.

*

It was eight in the morning when she'd finished. Half of the underlay of each sheet stayed stuck to the ceiling, a battle for another day she'd decided as the top layer pulled away freely. It was gone, every last bit. She looked around at her handy work with satisfaction. She wondered how long she'd been working for, what time she'd actually woken for her task to have been completed by just eight in the morning. But it didn't seem to matter that much. She could hear the house rising, Effy moving across the landing, a door opening with a force, a near silence quickly interrupted by vomiting. Naomi went to investigate. She knocked on the bathroom door, which slid open slightly.

"Effy?" she asked, cautiously.

The brunette was on the floor, her hands clutching the edges of the toilet bowl, her insides finding a new home. Naomi sighed and thought about the wine they'd drunk the night before, two bottles between them. She wondered how Effy had become such a light weight.

"You okay?"

Effy nodded, before throwing up once more. Naomi sat beside her, rubbing her back. Her mind jumped to the morning she discovered she was pregnant with Harley. She'd ran to the bathroom having had no sickness before. She'd felt worse than she ever had before and within moments she knew it was because she was pregnant. Before she could silence herself the question had fallen from her lips.

"Are you pregnant?"

But Effy was Effy and her answer wasn't a simple yes or no. She didn't even answer. Just stared at the toilet for what seemed like an hour. She waited with her, until the sickness passed and Effy asked her to leave so she could have a bath. They met again in the kitchen when Naomi placed a slice of dry toast on the table and told her to eat it. They didn't talk, but Naomi took every opportunity to glance in her friend's direction. Eventually Effy opened her mouth.

"I slept with Freddie on the night of the reunion for old times sake; I know we weren't as careful as we should have been, I didn't even think I could be pregnant until you said."

No words felt right. Naomi turned over different responses in her mind, but they all vanished before she could say them.

"I can go to the chemist, get you a test," she finally offered, just wanting to feel useful and do something other than think about the children. But Effy declined her offer.

"I'll deal with it myself," she muttered, as if closing the subject to discussion.

*

"Now I want you to remember what I told you," Katie informed William as she held onto his hand.

"Daddy looks funny because he's poorly?" he checked.

"Yes, but he's okay, so you have nothing to worry about."

"Okay."

Leading her son down the corridor, Katie stopped in front of the door. She was worried about William's first visit. Howard didn't have to have oxygen anymore so there was no tube in his nose, which was one thing. But he still looked a mess. She reached out and squeezed some hand sanitizer on her hand before helping William to do the same. She wasn't nervous about bringing him to see his dad. She'd visited a couple of times since his outbursts and though he wasn't perfect, he'd settled down considerably.

"Daddy!" the little boy shouted, running across the room and jumping onto the bed.

"William no!" Katie shouted after him.

But Howard only had a smile on his face, "It's okay Kate, how are you Will?"

"I am happy to see you," he grinned back.

"Mummy told me that you started to go to a karate club?"

He nodded, making his hair bounce on his head, "It's awesome."

"And how's mummy?" Howard asked, looking to Katie and reaching out a hand which she gratefully took.

"I'm well, hoping you'll be ready to come home soon though."

It was a relief to watch Howard so much more relaxed. As the doctor had said, his outbursts in the hours after he woke were temporary and since then he'd come on leaps and bounds. Katie watched her two boys exchange conversation. It was wonderful to witness.

"Will you both be coming to see me tomorrow?" Howard asked, pulling Katie from her thoughts.

"Of course, though we might not be able to stay for long, We're going to church in the morning and afterwards I said we'd go to mum and dads for Sunday lunch."

"Church?" Howard asked, a look of doubt in his eyes.

"Yes, church, I've decided that I want to go more and well the Sunday School they have will be fun for William."

"Were you going to discuss this with me before you brought our son into it?"

"We got him Christened for a reason Howard, we made a promise to God and now we need to fulfil that promise."

"I didn't realise this was so important to you."

"You've been unconscious for two weeks, you don't know what I've been through, I need this."

"Okay, okay, then do it."

*

The small pots overflowed with soil as Emily pushed a number of seeds into the soft brown dirt. The only thing she didn't like about living in an apartment was the lack of outdoor space. But that didn't stop her from creating a small herb garden for the balcony.

"Howard's improving then?" she asked Katie, who stood opposite her.

"He seems to be doing okay, but the doctor said it can change at a moments notice, I don't know what he's going to do next it's well scary."

"And they don't know when he'll be ready to come home?" Emily checked.

"No, they say he might be ready to move to a ward in the next few days and then it'll be at least a week."

The conversation was interrupted by Harley screaming from the living room. Emily shook off her hands and wiped them with a towel before following Katie into the other room.

"What is going on in here?" Katie asked, looking at William who's face was suspiciously red.

"Willy took car-car," Harley sobbed, reaching his arms out to a small plastic toy in William's hands.

"I had it first," William retorted, holding it close to his chest.

Emily rolled her eyes and turned her attention to Lexie, who was sat on the sofa, flicking through the television channels.

"Did you see what happened?"

"William took Harley's car," she mumbled, finding a channel she liked and placing the remote control on the sofa beside her.

"What have I told you about taking your cousin's toys?" Katie asked, picking William up and handing Harley back his toy, "You need to learn to share."

"But," William tried to complain.

"Don't but me William Robert Dixon, you do this every time you play with someone younger than you."

The little boy stuck out his bottom lip as Katie marched him into the kitchen. Emily looked over to Harley, who had happily returned to playing with the car, before following Katie back into the kitchen.

"You're going to sit there until you're willing to share, okay?"

It made Emily smile as she watched her nephew fold his arms with a look of frustration. His pout reminded her of Katie's when they were children and her twin didn't get her own way.

"What's so funny?" Katie asked, looking anything but pleased.

"Oh, nothing," Emily muttered, returning to her boxed garden.

"As I was saying before we were interrupted," Katie sighed, "It's going to be at least another week and a half before Howie can come home."

"That's positive though, a week and a half will fly by."

Behind them, William sighed loudly, tapping on the table with boredom. Emily watched as Katie turned around and looked at him. The little boy caught her eye and instantly stopped what he was doing.

"I'm sorry about him," she informed Emily.

"It's okay, it's nice for Harley to spend time with boys outside of nursery, he misses his Uncle Howard."

"At least they're here though, right? It's well bad of Naomi doing what she did, completely out of line."

"I guess," Emily replied, her mind wandering to the conversation with Effy.

"You guess? She stopped you from seeing your kids, how is that okay?"

"It's not," Emily corrected. "But maybe she wasn't doing it to hurt me."

"I'm sorry but that girl is nothing but selfish."

"You weren't saying that last year," Emily reminded her.

"She hadn't broken my sister's heart last year."

It was a disagreement that Emily realised she didn't want to have. But it was a disagreement that Katie seemed to want to continue. Naomi had broken her heart, but she'd broken Naomi's too.

"It was my fault Katie, how many times do I have to tell you that? I fucked my personal assistant while Naomi was at home looking after my son, I'm the fucking bitch not her, can we drop this whole Naomi is horrible thing, please?!"

There was silence. Katie's eyes widened with an expression that Emily didn't even want to decipher. Whilst she was okay with Emily's sexual orientation, they didn't tend to share implicit details. It was rare that Emily would actual tell Katie her sexual movements. They shared a look. Emily bit her lip, before returning to her garden. Katie wasn't happy, she could sense it. But she didn't feel like discussing the issue any further.

**Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really do appreciate comments/reviews, so please leave another one, or just one if you haven't left any. ;-)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for the reviews, this chapter came out of the blue, it all kind of changed last night, my plans were rethought. Partly because I know you guys want to know what's going on, so hopefully some answers will be here...and hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Nine**

The little boy sobbed against Emily's stomach, crying for what felt like an age. She rocked him gently, held him up against her heart, which was beating particularly fast.

"I know, I know," she soothed, rubbing his back and jiggling him about.

The crying showed no sign of stopping. Emily checked his temperature and gave him some Calpol, hoping the pain relief would sooth him and bring down his slight fever. She rocked him again, held him gently as he began to fall asleep against her chest.

"There we go my poorly little boy," she cooed, carrying him to his bedroom and tucking him up in bed.

When she re-entered the living area the phone was ringing. She answered it quickly, through fear it would wake Harley.

"Oh hi Effy," she greeted the familiar voice on the other end.

"It's been five days, maybe they can come home?" she asked, her voice sounding less confident than it usually did.

"They are home," Emily muttered, defensively.

"I mean back with Naomi."

"What's to say she won't keep them?" Emily asked, scared to let them go.

"I don't think that'll happen," Effy began, "Naomi knows she can't keep them from you."

"How do I know that?"

"Just trust that Naomi isn't a bad person," Effy offered.

She wanted to believe that she was, she wished it wasn't difficult to trust that Naomi would give the children back again. But then it occurred to her that she was no better when she wasn't willing to give them back to Naomi first.

"Harley's ill, it's probably a twenty four hour thing, but I want to wait til he's better. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay," Effy accepted, placidly, Emily sensed that Effy was giving in, something she didn't usually do.

The phone call ended and Emily re-entered Harley's room to check on him. Her heart leapt into her throat at the sight of Harleys little body shaking about uncontrollably. She felt sick with worry, her body struggling to react. She reached out to pick him up, but thought better of it when she felt the heat in his skin. She reached for the phone, pressing the 9 three times as quickly as possible before begging the emergency services for their help. In the ten minutes between the call and their arrival, Harley stopped convulsing, returning to a slumber. She pulled him out of his cot and held him in her arms. His temperature now dangerously high. She cried a little, worry lacing her thoughts, which quickly drifted to Naomi. As the paramedics took him from her she searched for her mobile phone and keys.

"Naomi?"

"I don't want to talk to you," came the response. It had been a couple of weeks since they'd talked, but none of their issues made a difference anymore.

"Harley's ill, I had to call an ambulance."

There was silence on the other end of the phone. Emily could hear the concern as Naomi took a breath in.

"I'll meet you at the hospital," she responded finally.

"Lexie is at Carly's, I was going to pick her up at four," Emily informed her.

"I'll get Effy to," Naomi replied.

It felt like things were okay between them. The conversation wasn't full of anger or frustration, it was just normal. The two of them working together to solve a problem. It made Emily feel sad, missing the life they'd shared.

"Thanks," she whispered, before ending the conversation, climbing into the ambulance with the paramedic and Harley.

*

A nurse directed the way but Naomi wasn't sure if she was in the right place. She felt panicked and upset. Her baby boy was in hospital, things like that weren't supposed to happen. She caught sight of Emily's red hair and despite feeling dislike towards her, she could feel her heart tightening with an immense feeling she didn't want to feel and relief at finding the right place.

"What happened?" she asked, making Emily jump.

"I," her estranged wife muttered, "He had a slight temperature I thought he was fine, but then I checked on him and he was having a fit."

"Oh god," Naomi gasped, her hand covering her mouth, all sorts of possibilities running through her mind.

"He's going to be okay," Emily assured her, but her eyes looked anything but supportive of her argument.

"How can you say that? You don't know," Naomi snapped, knowing it was a bad direction to take the conversation, but it was just too difficult.

"I'm trying to be positive," Emily retorted.

"Positive? You let this happen, you have no right being positive."

It was a low blow that she regretted instantly. Emily looked devastated and Naomi could only feel guilty.

"You have no right," she spoke, her voice faltered.

"You had no right fucking up my life, but look where we are," Naomi snapped.

"It wasn't even my fucking fault, if anyone should be to blame it should be you."

The sentence confused her. It made her head hurt as everything they'd been through repeated in her mind. She couldn't see how it was her fault, how Emily was blameless. She was about to open her mouth when the doctor appeared next to them.

"You son is doing okay," she smiled.

The two women shared a look with the doctor and each other, relieved.

"What happened?" Naomi asked.

"He had a temperature of 40 Celsius, which is 104 Fahrenheit, his body couldn't cope with it so he had a convulsion, a seizure, it's not uncommon for small children to suffer a fit when they have a fever,"

"But he's okay?" Emily asked, sniffling back tears.

"He is sleeping, we're monitoring his fever and working on bringing it down. We suspect he probably has a virus."

"What happens now?" Naomi checked, "When can he come home?"

"We want to keep Harley in for the night, we'll assess the situation again in the morning, but he will probably be able to go home tomorrow afternoon."

"Can I stay?" Naomi asked.

The doctor looked sympathetic, "I think it's best if you go home and get a good nights rest, both of you, Harley will be taken good care of."

"Can we see him first?" Emily asked, hopefully.

"Of course."

*

The car park was emptying and the autumn evening was drawing to a dark end. Emily hovered in the entrance of the hospital, watching Naomi walk ahead towards her car. She stopped and turned around. Emily felt a lump in her throat, wondering what the possible conversation could bring.

"You not going home?"

"I came here in the ambulance, I need to call a taxi," Emily replied.

"Oh."

They shared a look, prompting Naomi to look away quickly. It was awkward and slightly intimidating.

"I guess," she began, staring at the keys in her hand, "I could give you a ride."

"Okay," Emily replied, not giving a second thought to her response.

The car was cold, more so with the frosty tension between them. Naomi pulled out onto the main road, a silence falling between them. Emily wondered if Naomi regretted the stalemate they'd reached, as much as she did. She glanced over at the blonde, at the face she knew as well as her own. It was so difficult sitting beside her, loving her with no hope of ever getting her back.

"Thank you," Naomi whispered.

She almost missed it, the words so quiet and slightly reserved. She could tell that Naomi struggled to say it, making it all the more important that she respond.

"What for?"

"For calling me."

"He's our son."

Naomi nodded, "Well, thanks."

The car finally pulled up outside the apartment building. The awkward tension growing worse as Emily unbuckled her seat. It felt like one of those first dates where you wanted to say a proper goodbye but the sitting in the car made it difficult.

"I should," Emily mumbled, pulling the door open, "Thanks for the ride."

"Yeah," Naomi replied.

"Lexie can stay with you, I can drop her school bag off tomorrow."

"Okay, thanks."

There was no formal goodbye, it felt wrong to share such small talk. Emily unlocked the door, letting herself into the building. She turned and watched Naomi's car for a moment, another moment she likened to a date. But it wasn't a date. She took a deep breath and turned away, returning to her apartment.

*

Naomi sat it the car, staring up at Emily's apartment building. She didn't know why, but something wouldn't let her leave. Emily's words in the hospital puzzled her, confused her to the point of needing to know what she meant.

"Oh fuck it," she sighed, sliding the car into a space and climbing out.

She managed to get through the security locked front door before walking up to Emily's apartment. An apartment. It was wrong, it wasn't Emily. The red head wanted a garden, not a balcony, she wanted stairs and a real family kitchen, not a kitchen so small it might have been kitchenette. One thing she knew was that Emily's new life wasn't a life she wanted, even if she pretended it was. The door was closed. Naomi stared at it, analysing the number 17 engraved into the wood. She let her knuckles tap against the wood, prompting her to regret her actions and wish she could leave without another word. But it was too late, Emily was staring at her with confusion.

"Did I forget something?" she asked.

"I thought," Naomi began, "I thought I'd pick up Lexie's bag now."

"Oh, okay."

There was a look of disappointment in Emily's eyes. Naomi could feel her heart beating faster. Effy had said that Emily still loved her, she hadn't quite believed her, until she saw that look in her eyes.

"I mean," Naomi muttered as Emily let her inside, "I wanted to know what you meant at the hospital."

"What bit?"

"That it wasn't your fault, that I should be the one to blame."

"Naomi," Emily began, her voice trailed off.

"Well? I need to know Emily."

"You don't need anything," Emily snapped, "You've moved on, so forget about it."

"No, I won't fucking move on until you tell me what you meant. This whole thing is fucked up, I loved you and you cheated on me."

"Okay," Emily sighed, "But I technically didn't cheat on you."

"How the fuck do you think you can deny cheating on me after a year? Is this some sort of joke? Pretend it was all a misunderstanding? It's a bit late for that, don't you think?"

"The only time I slept with Alyson was the night we decided to take a break," Emily admitted.

"But you," Naomi gasped, her body shaking with nerves and confusion, "You said it had been going on for weeks before then! When we talked after that argument, you fucking told me you had an affair."

"I lied," Emily choked on a mixture of words and tears, "It was easier to make you think I did it because I felt like I had."

"I don't understand," Naomi mumbled, sitting down on the sofa.

She'd always been confused about the weeks surrounding the separation, but she thought she understood enough to accept what had happened. It made her feel worse knowing more, Emily's recent revelation sending her mind into a spin.

"You were going through whatever you were going through, you had no time for me Naomi. When Harley was born I felt so detached, I felt like our relationship was falling apart."

"I had post partum depression, what did you expect?"

"What?" Emily asked, frowning.

"Oh," Naomi remembered, "I got diagnosed a week after you went, those six months after Harley's birth were tough for me, all I wanted was your support, but you were fucking off to work with every available opportunity."

"I don't understand how you could have this post, post,"

"Partum,"

"Yeah, How could you have that and not know? You were fine with Harley."

It confused Emily, but it also made things feel clearer. She didn't know much about post partum, but she remembered reading about it in a pregnancy book once. It made sense now, all of Naomi's mood swings, all of her actions between Harley's birth and the separation. It wasn't their relationship that was the problem. She felt sick, her deceit feeling even worse than it had before.

Naomi shook her head, "I didn't find it as easy as you, you seemed to take to it like a duck to water, no problems at all."

"No problems?" Emily shouted, "You really think it was that easy for me? He is your son Naomi, I feel like he's my child now but back then half the time I just thought about how he was yours. About how one day he might question the life we've given him, who his biological parents are, where does that leave me?"

They both looked down, neither one able to look the other in the eye. Emily had hoped talking about this would eventually bring them back to an understanding, allow them to fix their shattered relationship. But as they both admitted their feelings, she couldn't feel further from the Naomi she thought she'd known.

"All of that aside, what does this have to do with you fucking that...that...slut," Naomi spat out.

"It wasn't like that Naomi, she was a constant battle for me. I admit, I was attracted to her but I wasn't going to do anything. I loved you, Naomi we'd just had our first child. But then our relationship seemed to disintegrate into dirty nappies and nothing much else. I wanted to talk to you so many times, but you were always so down and when we did get a moment together, god I wanted to fuck you so badly, I wanted to be with you. It had been four months since Harley had been born, I thought we'd be able to be intimate again. But you weren't interested. I thought you weren't interested in me."

"So you fucked her," Naomi inputted.

"No," Emily assured her, "I was so tempted, she tried it on with me. But I said no and I came home to you, to our family. We drank that wine and we had that argument."

"And I accused you of sleeping with her because you reeked of her perfume," Naomi added.

Emily nodded, "But I didn't sleep with her. I tried to tell you but you wouldn't listen. I was angry at you for our relationship not being right, for being Harley's real mum, but I was angrier at myself for being so close to fucking up my life. I was tired Naomi, tired of being the one who got nothing out of our relationship. I guess I took the easy way out, which is why I told you I needed a break from our relationship."

"I thought we were over and I had no energy to fight to keep you," Naomi admitted.

"That's the night I slept with her. I had nowhere else to go, Katie and Howard were out. I didn't even want to go there, but it's where I ended up. I felt so bad, you will never understand how horrible it made me feel to do that. I felt like I'd cheated on you, which is why I let you believe I had because it felt like I'd betrayed everything we'd worked so hard to build."

Naomi bit her lip. She wanted to cry. She wanted to shout and scream at Emily for lying to her all this time about something so important. She felt like the last year had been built on a lie. The thought of Emily cheating had broken her. Knowing it wasn't as clear cut as that made her feel hopeful. Until she remembered something else Emily had said.

"You said you blame me, why?"

"You broke my heart Naomi, you broke my heart when you moved on."

"You fucking bitch, you moved on first!" Naomi snapped, standing up, rage building inside.

"No, I didn't," Emily cried, tears sliding down her cheeks, "I made a mistake. In the year we've been apart you've had how many relationships?"

"Two."

"I have had none. After Alyson, after I told you what I did and I left I've been with no one, how could I? No one is you."

"You can't fucking blame me for this, you still cheated. Whether it happened the night you left or not, you still broke our marriage. Surely ten years on and off together, two years of marriage, that should have counted for more than one fucking argument, this is all so fucked up."

The two girls stared at each other, their eyes locked. Naomi could feel her heart racing. She was angry, she was upset and she could feel her mouth grow dry. An overwhelming urge to kiss Emily overpowered her. She reached forwards, pushing her lips against Emily's. The red head pulled away in shock, before her lips rejoined Naomi's and they were kissing. It wasn't gentle; it was rough, passionate. Naomi still felt angry, but as she felt the rage course through her, it made her push her fingers deeper into Emily's skin. Their hands were exploring each others bodies, rediscovering a surface they both knew by heart. They were stripping each other, lying down on the soft carpet, pushing their bodies against each other with a rage that created more passion than they'd ever experienced. Their lips still colliding, their tongues massaging each others. Naomi pushed her fingernails into Emily's back, the anger making her dig so deep she could feel the skin break. But Emily didn't pull away, just accepted the painful release of tension between them. They clung tightly to each other; anger and passion overruling any hate or love they both felt. Feelings didn't matter. Just the raw, passionate, angry sex that let them release the pain they still felt.

**Author Notes: What did you think? Enjoy? Hate? Too fast? Too slow? Not enough sexitime? Too much? I don't know what you think...only you can tell me that. Review below.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter, so many wonderful comments and thoughts. I'm glad that the overall reaction was a positive one and I hope that this chapter is a good enough aftermath...enjoy.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Ten**

The room was silent but for once it was comfortable. Emily lay on her back staring at the plain ceiling, wishing it was the awful paper that used to lie above her bed at home. Her real home. She could feel her chest rising and falling with every breath, a completely relaxed body comforted by the gentle breathing beside her. Naomi had fallen asleep. Her blonde hair unevenly spread across one side of her face. It was shorter than she remembered, more layers giving it a volume she hadn't seen in almost two years. She could still smell the excitement of the past couple of hours in the air, could still feel the touch of Naomi's fingers breaking her skin. It felt like punishment. It hadn't been an act of love making, she knew that the moment she'd responded to Naomi's kiss. It was more a finality to a relationship they no longer had. She felt sad but expectant. She wondered if it was a complete goodbye, or a closing of a chapter. She liked to think that their relationship wasn't over, that they were simply putting the past where it belonged, allowing them to start again. She knew from the way Naomi kissed her lips and the way she slid her fingers across all the right parts of her body that there was still love between them. Romantic love that hadn't died in their failing relationship.

*

It was a relief when Naomi woke up to find Emily still beside her. She'd dreamt of waking up to her gone. It wasn't that she wanted to talk to her, or discuss what had happened. She knew they weren't at that stage. They hadn't had sex to start up their relationship. She didn't know why she did it. But she felt better, healed from the pain she'd felt. They weren't right, she wasn't even sure they ever would be. But they were in a new place. A place where the past was a memory that no longer carried into the present. She didn't want to share words with Emily, at least for a while. She suspected that Emily wouldn't mind her leaving. It was Emily's house after all and Naomi was usually the one to leave. It had always been that way. Emily stayed, even if it wasn't right and Naomi left even if it was.

*

Water began boiling over prompting Katie to jump up and turn down the hob, she pushed the wooden spoon into the pan, stirring the pasta. Once it had settled, she put the spoon down and opened a bottle of wine.

"Red or white?" she offered.

"Both?" Emily chuckled, rubbing her eyes and sighing.

"What's happened?"

She wanted to tell her, but she wanted to keep it to herself. Emily could feel the internal battle. If Katie knew she'd be able to let out the burst of hope she held inside, but if Katie knew, she'd probably be made to feel guilty and she wasn't ready to feel bad about it.

"Naomi and I," she began, the end catching in her throat.

Katie looked at her, expecting her to continue, waiting for the sentence to be finished. Emily reached for the nearest bottle of wine and poured herself a glass, downing it in order to gain some courage. But even a glass of wine didn't do much.

"We talked."

"What about?" Katie asked, pouring herself a small glass of white wine.

"Just talked, we got out everything we didn't say after the separation. There were so many things I never told her and so many things she'd never told me. Like, for instance, she had post partum after having Harley, I never knew."

"Oh."

She'd struggled to feel sympathetic towards Naomi, but after Emily's revelation that it wasn't Naomi's fault for the break up, she found her sympathy edging closer. William's birth had been easy on her; they bonded instantly. She imagined it was every mother's dream to have an instant connection with her baby. It had never occurred to her that Naomi had struggled, she'd seemed so fine whenever they crossed paths, she'd never looked past the surface to see what was underneath. They had been friends then, good friends. It was difficult to learn that she'd failed in her friendship, not seen that there was a problem, not offered her support. She felt guilty, ashamed and sad.

"When are JJ and Carol getting here?" Katie asked, feeling uncomfortable discussing Naomi's misfortune any longer.

"Fifteen minutes," Emily stated, opening the fridge and pulling out lettuce and tomatoes.

"Why exactly am I cooking a dinner for JJ and Carol?" Katie questioned, sipping her wine.

"Because JJ has been good to me and he's engaged; besides, we never did properly meet Carol at the reunion."

One of the tomatoes turned to mush as Emily sliced through it, she scrunched up her nose and tossed the fragile tomato aside. So much had happened in twenty four hours. Emily didn't really feel in the mood to be entertaining, but she'd invited JJ over a week ago and thought it rude to cancel at the last minute.

"But you'd rather go see Harley?" Katie guessed, taking the knife out of her hand, making Emily look her in the eye.

A tear reached her eyelashes, she didn't want to cry, she'd done enough of that recently. She rubbed her eyelid, disguising her tears. Katie could see through her, no matter how much she tried to put up her front, it wasn't going to work.

"He's okay," she told her sister, more to persuade herself than Katie.

"Doesn't mean you don't want to be with him," Katie replied.

"So I want to be with my son, what's new there?"

Emily shrugged her shoulders. She didn't just want to be with Harley, she wanted to live with him every single day. She was sick of being outside of his life, outside of Lexie's. Things with Naomi may have changed, but they still weren't talking, having shared no words in the twelve hours since Naomi left her in the temporary bed they'd made on the living room floor. She knew there was no way of living with her children in the near future, not every day. But at least it was better than nothing. Katie's arm reached around her shoulder, pushing herself against Emily's side in an act of comfort.

"Lets enjoy the night, yeah? It's gonna be well good."

*

"It's positive?" Naomi asked.

"That's what the test says," Effy admitted, tossing the white stick into the bin, a smirk forming on her face, "First time I tested positive for something."

She was pregnant. It was official. She was also numb, void of thoughts and feelings, void of the ability to make a decision when making a decision was the only thing she needed to do. The future was a blur, the past a mess of alcohol and mistakes. She rested a hand on her stomach and thought of her latest mistake.

"Does Freddie know?"

The other mistake. The mistake she wanted to think about less than the one growing inside of her. She shook her head.

"You can't keep going on like this Effy, you need to tell him."

"I don't need to do anything," she stated, putting up her defence.

"So what? You get an abortion? Pretend this isn't happening?"

Raising an eyebrow, Effy let a small smile creep onto her face. But Naomi's frown was the only thing looking back.

"This isn't college anymore Effy, you're not a teenager anymore, you're an adult and now it's time to start acting like one."

The blonde was right. It was time to be a grown up, time to stand up to her problems, her mistakes and face them head on. But that didn't have to start tonight, did it? She nodded her head, allowing Naomi to know she understood.

"Freddie and I have a past Naomi, it's not simple anymore."

"Everyone has a past Effy, a couple of years in college counts for nothing though."

"It was more than that, we got married."

It was obviously a shock, those blue eyes that Effy had very rarely actually looked into, looked confused and somewhat unsurprised.

"When?"

"First year of uni, we got back together and by the summer we were married."

It felt good to watch Naomi's reaction. She'd lived her life observing other people, knowing what they themselves didn't know on occasion. It was always a bonus to keep her own life hidden.

"By autumn we were separated and by Christmas we were divorced, end of."

"Except that it's not," Naomi reminded her, "This baby is his child, he deserves to know."

"Just like Emily deserves to know you want to jump her?"

"I don't want to jump her," Naomi retorted.

"No, but you wouldn't say no if she jumped you."

There was a surprising look on Naomi's face, flushed and taken aback. Effy let her lips curl into another smile.

"Except that she already did jump you."

"I need to put Harley to bed," Naomi muttered, the conversation ending abruptly.

*

The happy couple sat on the sofa, their bodies connecting in all the right places. Two people acting as one. As Emily handed them a glass of wine each, she felt a pang of guilt. She was jealous and she hated herself for it. She missed the close bond two people shared, she missed the simple acts of sitting tangled in another person's arms and legs. Tonight was about JJ and Carol and she hated herself more for making it about her.

"To JJ and Carol," Emily toasted, holding up her freshly filled glass. Katie joined in and the happy couple grinned at each other, sharing a small, coy kiss.

"Have you made any plans yet?" Katie asked Carol, who was spinning her engagement ring nervously on her finger.

"Not yet," she smiled, "But I've always wanted to get married in the chapel my parents married in, it's by the coast and there's a reception room attached with a massive window overlooking the sea."

"Sounds lovely."

JJ's bride-to-be, her short, dark locks hanging carefully beside her face, excitedly told Katie about her thoughts. Emily watched them, the exchange of conversation so easy, so carefree. She'd always marvelled in her sister's ability to share conversation with anyone. It was an act she had never quite grasped. Her continually selfish thoughts distanced her from the dinner party. She didn't want to be there and her inability to make polite conversation with an old friend was making her appear anti-social.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, exiting the room, finding solace in her bedroom, a near full bottle of wine in her hands.

Destructive behaviour. She'd read about it a few times; people drinking to escape their lives. It was something she'd done before with regrets, but somehow she'd managed to return to that place. It was difficult to drink directly out of the glass bottle, but it was a challenge Emily took without argument. She could feel the drink pushing her into a stupor, her mind hazing up and her ability to react slowing.

"Emily?" Katie's voice asked as a tap came through the door.

There was no answer. It worried Katie, she could sense something wasn't right with Emily. The way she'd spoken earlier, she half expected her to reveal something bigger than she had. Something was bothering her twin. The disappearing act halfway through the evening wasn't fair. Katie didn't ask to be part of the dinner party, nor did she ask to be the main hostess. Her frustration made her open the door, regardless of whether Emily wanted her there or not.

"You can't just leave me out there Emily," Katie snapped at her sister.

Emily was lay on her bed, staring at the wall. There was no response. Katie stepped closer, adamant to discuss this even if Emily didn't want to.

"This can't be about talking to Naomi, or Harley."

"Who says?" Emily replied, turning around, facing Katie.

"I know you Ems, maybe better than you know yourself sometimes."

She was right, of course she was right. But Emily was struggling to admit it. She didn't want to go there. But the words were already tumbling out of her mouth.

"Naomi and I had sex."

It was the last thing Katie expected to come from her. She stared at her for a minute or so, analysing Emily's reaction to admitting what had happened. She silently praised her powers of observation.

"And you wanted it to happen?" she checked, gathering information.

"Neither of us wanted it to happen, it just did."

"Maybe Naomi still loves you."

It was a suggestion that Effy had made first and one that Emily thought about constantly. She treasured the thought of Naomi still loving her, caring for her enough to take her back. But she also knew that so much had happened, even love didn't save everything.

"Maybe she just needed it to move on," Emily retorted.

"Maybe, but if I'm not mistaken, she's always loved you and probably always will."

"I broke her heart."

"And she broke yours, what does it matter anymore? You two have a family who deserve to be happy."

"She left, Katie, when I woke up she was gone. Surely that shows,"

"That she's scared?" Katie finished, before Emily had the chance, "That she doesn't want to rush things? You have no idea what that meant Ems, don't jump to conclusions."

"But,"

"No buts Emily Fitch, you two are well good together and the both of you have been nothing but miserable since you separated, now go over there and do something about it."

"I don't know."

She wanted to. Her heart was telling her to do it, to take the risk, to attempt to rebuild her happiness one brick at a time. But her mind was telling her what a disaster it could be. But surely it was worth the risk?

"I guess…I'll do it." Emily decided, "But what about JJ?"

"Forget about him, I'll look after the happy couple, though giving them a room would probably be all they'd need."

The twins laughed, a comfortable exchange of a joke was all that Emily needed, a moment away from her problems to give her enough energy to go to Naomi's and hopefully change their lives.

*

Knocking on the door brought no response. Emily was about to walk away when the door opened and she was forced to face her wife. They were still married. She wondered why they'd never made their separation official. She knew her reasons, but she'd never dared ask Naomi for hers.

"Yes?" Naomi interrupted her thoughts, staring at her as if expecting her to start the conversation.

Emily quickly remembered that she had been the one to turn up at Naomi's door and so was the one who needed to start talking.

"I, I came," she began, her palms sweating and her heart racing. She felt like a teenager, she felt like the first time she told Naomi she wanted to kiss her back in college; before she came out, before everything.

"Oh, did you come to see Harley?" Naomi jumped in, prompting a nod from Emily. She wanted to kick herself for taking the easy way out.

"He's asleep but you can come in and see him, just don't wake him."

"Of course not," Emily smiled, "I just want to see him."

The house was quiet as Emily followed Naomi upstairs to the baby's room. She slid through the opening of the door and watched her son sleep; stroking his cheek gently with a finger. She didn't stay there long, just long enough for her real reason to be less obvious. When she excited the bedroom, she found herself stood in the doorway of her old room. The ceiling caught her eye, made her choke on a gasp. There was only a small change, but it was big enough to hurt. Naomi's eyes were staring at her again, the blonde stood in the bedroom with a look of confusion in her eyes.

"About yesterday," Emily began before her courage vanished.

"You want to talk about it?" Naomi checked, "I thought we were just going to let it go."

"I know, but," Emily began, "I just wanted to, to talk."

Alarm bells rang in her head. Had Emily come to see their son at all? Or was she there because of the night before? Naomi could feel herself tense up, pushing a psychological barrier between them.

"It was just one of those things, a one time thing that people sometimes do after they break up, right?"

"Right," Emily whispered, the word falling from her lips with a mixture of regret and sadness.

"It's in the past, with everything else," Naomi assured her.

A nod, a small word of agreement. It all happened before Emily could control what she was saying or doing. She didn't want to agree, she wanted to take it back. Mostly she wanted to kiss those gentle lips, push her hands against Naomi's beautiful breasts, let her mouth create a fire on Naomi's skin. She didn't want to be stood behind Naomi, she didn't want to be following her towards the door, or walking out into the cool night air. But it was too late, the door had already closed behind her and she was crying, her face wet with tears and her body shaking with rejection.

*

"That's not true," Effy spoke softly, appearing behind Naomi as she held the door closed.

"What isn't?" she checked, though there was no need.

They both knew what Effy was talking about. They both knew that Naomi had done nothing but lie to Emily.

"I can't go through it again Effy, I just can't."

The brunette watched her, those deep eyes exploring her reactions. Naomi bowed her head, ashamed of herself for putting her unhappiness before anything else. It was too late. No matter how much she regretted it, she had made her decision. She had made it the moment she woke up to Emily beside her. She loved her, she would have done almost anything to be with her. But her mind was stronger now, stronger than her heart and it stopped her from making, what she could only consider, a very big mistake.

**Author Notes: Disappointed by the aftermath? Happy? Confused? Whatever you're feeling, please let me know, or else I can't changed things enough to make you happy! :-) AKA, please review.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for your reviews, it seems that everyone was pretty much okay with the last chapter, thankfully. I do feel that having Naomily jump back into a relationship would be a bit premature. I hope you enjoy this next chapter.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Eleven**

She'd held back for too long. It wasn't that she didn't want to see Howard, but Naomi felt a mixture of guilt and fear of visiting him. Mostly, she didn't want to run into Katie. The hospital ward was quiet, though full, she was one of only a half dozen visitors.

"About time," Howard mumbled, turning around from filling a bag, "Naomi, what a surprise."

"I'm sorry, I can go if you're busy," she mumbled, feeling out of place.

"Nonsense, you're more than welcome," he smiled, lowering himself slowly into his chair and offering a plastic seat to Naomi.

Taking the seat gracefully Naomi spent the next minute staring at Howard's hands. They shook constantly, something she assumed was a result of the accident.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, feeling tears hit her eyes.

"What for?" Howard asked.

"The accident, it's my fault you were in the car, if I hadn't pulled you away from the reunion then,"

Howard didn't let her finish, "No Naomi, this isn't your fault, it was an accident, just one of those things."

"Well, thanks," she mumbled, feeling less convinced.

"Something tells me you're not just here to wish me well."

"Yes I am," Naomi assured him, "Though, I suppose, I just wanted to see you. You're a good friend, family."

There was something comforting in the way Howard knew she wasn't okay. He had always been good at reading her. He was a good friend, he was more than a good friend. The thought of losing him, the possibility having been so real of late, had bothered her more than words could describe. He was the one person she could talk to.

"What's going on with you?" he asked, reaching a hand out and taking one of hers.

"I'm in such a mess, Emily and I, things aren't good between us right now."

"In what way?"

"We slept together, only, I told her it meant nothing to me and she just agreed, I thought it meant more to her than that, I just told her it meant nothing."

"But it didn't?"

"I love her, I love her but the thought of being with her, it makes it hurt."

Just as she thought she'd gathered her thoughts together on the matter, her mind began throwing new spanners in the works. She did love Emily and if lying and cheating didn't break that love away, she figured nothing ever could.

"When are you two going to get your act together?" Howard smiled, "I wish I could help."

"It's okay."

There was a pause and Howard was looking past her, staring past her as though something was going on. Naomi turned in her seat, her eyes colliding with two brown eyes that reminded her so much of Emily's.

"How could you do that?" Katie shouted.

"Do what?" Naomi asked, standing up.

"After everything, you fuck her and then drop her like a fish. I thought you were supposed to be the heartbroken one, not the heartbreaker."

Naomi shook her head, "I have no idea what you're talking about Katie, I just came to see Howie."

"Emily, you tit, you sleep with her and then you tell her there's no chance you'll get back together, what the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I, I just,"

"Don't bother, just fucking leave my family alone."

It wasn't an argument she wanted to get into, she wasn't ready to defend herself so publically. Part of her wanted to slap Katie, to wipe that smug look off her face and show her that she was as strong as she used to be. But she wasn't. She'd grown weak in the past year, so weak that she didn't have the energy to fight back.

*

The words that erupted between them were harsh, misplaced. She knew she was out of line and by the look on Naomi's face, it was hurting her as much as it was hurting Emily. But that didn't stop Katie, it never stopped her. She struggled to show sympathy, even when her heart was breaking. She felt guilty and ashamed, she didn't want to feel like that again.

"What is wrong with you?" Howard asked, his voice full of concern.

When she got into arguments and Howard pulled her up on it, it made her feel even worse. She wasn't like Howie, she couldn't make people feel better, she couldn't do the right thing. As much as she tried, it always blew up in her face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears of regret.

"You can't keep dumping on Naomi like that, it isn't fair. Emily hurt her babe, she broke her. Whether you want to admit it or not, Naomi isn't the bad guy here."

"But," Katie cried, reminding herself of the warnings she had given to her son and Emily for trying to make excuses. She silently told herself 'but nothing' as she slid into the plastic chair that Naomi vacated.

"I'm trying," she sighed, the words enough for Howard to accept that she knew she wasn't dealing with the situation as well as anyone would have hoped.

*

The house was in chaos within three hours. The doctor had suggested that Howard take it easy for several weeks, the first one being the most crucial. Katie tried to make things more comfortable; setting up a bed in the lounge, bringing him meals and entertainment. But with a moody three year old to take care of, it was proving difficult.

"Will you sit down," Katie begged, plumping up a cushion and holding Howard's shoulder.

"I'm fine Katie, how many times do I have to say that today?"

"Yes, you're fine," Katie humoured him before letting herself be sarcastic, "And I'm my own grandma, now sit down and stop being so macho."

"Bloody hell Katie, I am not an invalid."

"Actually babe, until the doctor tells me otherwise, you are. So stop fighting this and sit down."

She was growing impatient with him already. She didn't want the next few weeks to end up this way, but she couldn't see any other option. She was frustrated and she could tell he was too. Having Howard home made her happy, she'd waited for it for weeks. Now it was finally happening all she wanted to do was kiss him and be with him. Though his denial that anything was wrong just made her mad. She found sanctuary in the utility room. Doing the laundry wasn't a preferred choice of activity, but she was afraid that spending too much time bothering Howard would only put a spanner in their relationship.

"Katie!" came a scream from the living room, she took a deep breath and ran to her husband.

"What the hell happened?" she gasped as she found Howard curled up on the floor, his eyes opening and closing with pain.

"I fell," he admitted, looking ashamed.

"What did I tell you?!" she snapped, slipping her arms around his waist and helping him up.

"And I said I was fucking fine so stop fucking hanging around like a sore fucking thumb," he snapped back, pulling away from her grasp and finding his way back to the sofa.

He was fine. He didn't need help and he was sick of Katie thinking otherwise. He wished for once that she would just listen to him and leave him alone. But then he saw the look in her eyes; hurt, rejection. It pained him to have caused that, to have pushed her away without a second thought for her. He just couldn't admit that he needed her.

"I'll finish tidying the house," she replied, her voice breaking as she walked away.

*

"I'm sorry for walking out the other night, it was rude of me," Emily told JJ as she seated herself opposite him in her kitchen.

"No, nonsense," JJ smiled, "Katie was a wonderful host and Carol and her got along like a house on fire and well she doesn't really have any close friends or any sisters or sister's-in-law so she really appreciates the friendship and if you guys stay in touch then I'd imagine she'd want you to be bridesmaids and…oh bobbins."

It made Emily smile that JJ hadn't changed, despite appearing more grown up. He still got tangled in his words and said things he regretted as soon as he said them. She rested a hand on his arm.

"Don't worry about it JJ."

"I won't," he smiled, nervously, "How, how, how have you been?"

"Okay, this week has been quiet without the kids, but I think Naomi has come to terms with the fact that I need to spend time with them too; that they want to see me as much as they want to see her."

"That is, well that is good," JJ grinned, appearing more relaxed.

"What about you? Has Carol booked the chapel yet?"

"No, no she's not, she's been looking at other things whilst she waits for the vicar to ring back. It's been a quiet week at work, since I don't have the big custody case like I thought I might have, I just have to wait for the next call to come in."

"I'm sorry," Emily smiled sympathetically.

"No, it's better that way, the less work I have to do, the better it is for you."

"Wait," Emily realised, "You don't get work all the time?"

"No, I'm freelance, I work for myself and the company sometimes pass work my way. I split my time between law and helping Carol at the centre."

"What centre?"

"For autistic children."

It surprised Emily how much JJ knew about her life now and how little she actually knew about his. She imagined JJ working with children and teenagers on the autistic spectrum and how perfect a role model he was of living a normal life with the illness.

"That is fantastic J," she smiled, rubbing his arm, "You've really made something of your life."

"Oh, oh yes , yes I have."

The doorbell pulled Emily away from the conversation. She slipped out of the kitchen and opened the door to find Naomi and her family stood on the other side. Her heart began to race and Emily wondered if it was her feelings for Naomi making it do so, or the excitement of spending time with her children.

"Lexie do you want to take Harley into your room please?" Naomi muttered, sending the children off with their bags before Emily could even greet them.

"What was that about?" she questioned.

"I had a conversation with your sister today."

Emily shrugged her shoulders, waiting patiently for Naomi to expand and continue the conversation. She didn't know whether it was a good or bad thing that Naomi and Katie had been talking, but she dreaded to think what happened.

"She seems to think that you're upset that I don't want to get back together with you."

It was a simple enough sentence, but as Naomi informed Emily of what Katie had said, she found her voice struggling to get the words out. She wished that Emily would tell her what she wanted to hear, but she feared the response at the same time.

"Nobody said anything about getting back together," Emily muttered.

"Exactly," Naomi sighed, a half-relief setting in, as well as half-disappointment.

"Katie had no right saying anything."

The two woman looked at each other. It was a simple exchange of glances, but it was enough to knock Emily for six. Who was she kidding?

"But she's right, I still love you and if I could be with you, I would."

"I still, I still," Naomi began but the words caught in her throat.

Bang. The truth was out. The same levels of disappointment and relief passed over Naomi, but reversed. She was relieved that Emily had admitted she still loved her, but was disappointed at the same time. She couldn't do it. She'd hoped that Emily admitting her feelings would be the cue she needed to act, but when it came down to it, she chickened out.

"Oh," Naomi replied, her voice growing cold, "Love isn't everything Emily and it's not enough anymore."

"What?"

It felt like rejection had dropped a bomb on her head and then kicked her into a pool of lava. Naomi just shook her head and disappeared down the corridor, the conversation ending in the most obscure of places. Emily could feel her heart racing and decided that it was the situation making her body react, rather than Naomi herself. She was confused. The blonde had spoken as though she wanted Emily to admit her love for her, but as soon as she had, it was like she wasn't interested anymore.

"Is everything okay?" JJ asked, appearing behind her and sliding a hand around her waist so that she could relax against his shoulder.

The tears slowly slid down her cheeks and she pushed her face against his neck, his sweet scent filling her nose. She didn't want this, she didn't want any of this. The room was filled by a high pitched scream coming from the bedroom. Emily quickly wiped her tears and rushed into the room.

"What is going on?" she asked.

"There's a spider," Lexie muttered, her eyes full of fear.

"Just a spider?" JJ asked, walking across the room, "Where is it?"

The situation made Emily smile, but she held back as JJ located the creepy crawly and let him crawl across his hand. It made her shiver, her own dislike of the eight legged creatures at the forefront of her mind. She rested her hands on Harley's shoulders as he burrowed his face against her legs in fear.

"This little guy won't hurt you," JJ announced, "In fact, spiders are pretty important, they eat flies which stops there being too many."

"Ew, that's horrible," Lexie muttered.

"Lots of people are scared of spiders, but really you have nothing to worry about."

Lexie shook her head, anything but convinced by JJ's words. The surprising thing was that Harley was staring at JJ, hanging on his every word as he took tentative steps closer.

"In fact, I think we should give this little spider a name," JJ tried, but Lexie had already moved away and was pulling things out of her bag.

"Spidey," Harley grinned, standing beside JJ's hand and bending down to look at the black creature.

"I think Spidey is a might fine name for a spider."

"Spidey," Harley giggled, reaching out to touch it, causing it to crawl across JJ's hand away from his chubby fingers.

"Would you like to hold Spidey?" JJ asked and after a nod he reached out and dropped the spider onto the boys hands.

Once the spider had finally been removed from the apartment and Harley and Lexie were playing in her room, Emily and JJ sat down with a glass of wine.

"I'm really glad I spent the day with you J, I didn't realise how much I missed your company."

"Me, me too, I missed your c, company too," he stuttered, putting the glass of wine down.

"You were really good with Harley, I've never seen him so captivated before."

JJ nodded, "If you teach children young to like spiders, then they won't be scared."

"I wasn't just talking about the spider," Emily mumbled, "You were just really good with him."

"I enjoyed it," JJ admitted, "I hope that Carol and I will have children one day."

"They'd be lucky to have a dad like you."

**Author Notes: I know this chapter isn't really the most action packed, but once in a while a chapter has to fill the void to push the story along. I'd still really like to know your thoughts...reviews anyone?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks to those of you who reviewed. I'm thinking the last chapter wasn't very well recieved? I know it wasn't the best and I apologise for that, I hope you enjoy this one better and I have as good as written the next couple of chapters so hopefully it won't be far from more.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twelve**

The carpets had not been vacuumed in days, the kitchen sink was piling up with dishes and Katie was feeling like a dead person walking. She stood in the lounge, watching Howard who was staring at the television set. The denial he'd been feeling the first day had vanished, replaced very quickly by an overwhelming amount of nothing.

"Aren't you going to get dressed today?" she asked her husband.

"Mmm," he responded, barely moving from his spot on the sofa.

Depression. It was another stage they said he might go through and Katie couldn't help wonder how long it would last. She hated seeing Howard so down, so apathetic to the world. She remembered their lives together up until the accident. They loved to laugh together, yet they hadn't shared a giggle for weeks. They loved to kiss and cuddle, but their intimacy level consisted of Katie helping Howard to the bathroom if he was struggling. They loved to have long conversations about the future and their dreams, though Howard had barely spoken in four days.

"How about cleaning up this pig sty?" she asked him, motioning to the small stack of plates and cutlery on the coffee table.

"Later," Howard answered, his conversation skills disintegrating into the dark room.

Katie could feel her frustration growing as she pulled the plates into her arms and piled a couple of forks on top. As she walked towards the door her foot pressed down onto the carpet, only there was something obstructing her footstep. It all happened so quickly. The floor disappeared from under her and she found herself falling against the sofa, the plates thankfully maintaining a balance in her arms.

"William Robert Dixon, pick these fu, these toys up before somebody breaks a leg," she shouted, regretting her harsh tone the moment the words reached her lips.

Her son entered the room looking like a deer that had been caught in the headlights. The moment he saw his mother almost on the floor, he began to rub his eyes whilst tears streamed down his small cheeks.

"I'm sorry," he cried, crawling across the ground to retrieve the cars scattered across the carpet.

"No, I am," Katie cried back, "I shouldn't have shouted."

And she was sorry, so incredibly sorry for how their lives had turned out. She pulled her little boy into her arms, sniffling back tears that threatened to fall on his head. Life wasn't supposed to be this hard, she thought as she held William close, seeking comfort in his embrace. It was wrong to rely on her three year old for comfort, he was too young to understand her need. She pulled away and forced a grin onto her face.

"How would you like to visit Auntie Em or Grandma and Pop?"

*

"Please Emily, I'm begging you, I can't do this. It's been four days and I am already exhausted. He's probably going to be recovering at home for at least another month."

The desperation in Katie's voice made Emily want to change her mind. She wanted to help, but as she'd explained, she had meetings and presentations to prepare for. They discussed the possibility of their parents helping out, but they'd just gone on holiday.

"I don't know what to do Ems," Katie cried, "I need help, I just need someone to take Will for a couple of days, until Howard and I figure this out."

There was a silence as Emily's mind started to work overtime. It was an option, it was the only option she could think of.

"Naomi," she muttered.

"I can't ask that fucking bitch to look after my son," Katie shouted through sobs.

"She has the kids this week while I'm busy, plus she has Effy staying with her, where's the harm in asking?"

"She won't say yes," Katie admitted, wishing she didn't have to have this conversation with her sister.

Emily paused, "What did you do? Naomi mentioned something but I didn't get the full story."

"Why are you assuming that I did something?" Katie defended herself.

"Katie."

"We had words, the day I brought Howard home she was there, I told her what I thought of her."

"God Kate, you really are stupider than people give you credit for sometimes," Emily snapped, knowing it wasn't going to help.

"It was a mistake, if I could take it back I would."

"I'm sorry Katie, but for once you're on your own. Naomi would probably take him, but you need to put things right with her first."

*

It was a last resort, she wanted to make that clear. It was sheer desperation, she had to tell her that. But the moment the door opened and Naomi was staring back at her, all of her excuses had gone and Katie was stood speechless in Naomi's kitchen.

"Effy told me you called," Naomi began, instigating the start of a conversation that meant Katie was obliged to respond.

"I'm," she started, but the words caught in her throat.

"Sorry?" Naomi completed, a slight successive smile reaching her lips.

"I am," Katie nodded, "I'm, sorry."

"I heard you're struggling."

The conversation bypassed the forgiveness, but Katie didn't mind. She felt an odd level of comfort in Naomi's presence. She sipped on a mug of steaming coffee that Naomi had put in front of her and thought back to the happy moments of friendship they'd shared.

"Yuck, what is in this?" she gasped, spitting the substance back into the mug.

"It's just coffee," Naomi frowned.

"It tastes like dog shite, did you put something in it?"

It was too good to be true, the semi-truce they'd created. Naomi just laughed, she didn't really care if Katie believed that it was just coffee or not, but she didn't think the question demanded a real response.

"So, you need my help or are we going to sit arguing like school children?" Naomi asked, surprising herself at how easy it was to fall back into her old self for the first time.

"I don't need help, I don't need anyone's help," Katie muttered, defensively.

"You should probably go then," Naomi informed her.

"Okay, I need help, I need your help."

It felt like a victory, to get Katie Fitch to admit that she needed her help, "Yes, I'll take Will for a couple of days."

She surprised herself more than she surprised Naomi by jumping out of her seat and wrapping her arms around her old friend. She enjoyed the warmth of another human being stood close to her and regretted the friendship she'd lost. A lot of regrets filled her mind; the amount of times she'd said horrible things to Naomi, not telling Howard she loved him more often, swearing in front of William on more than one occasion. She could feel her regrets filling her mind, pushing her emotions to the brink until she could feel tears strolling down her cheeks. She didn't want to cry in front of Naomi, didn't want to appear weak, but it was too late. She began shaking and the tears were creating red lines down her face.

"It's really getting to you, isn't it?" Naomi's voice filled the void.

A small nod was all Naomi needed in response to move towards her sister-in-law. She moved her hand, cautiously at first, towards the woman's shoulder. It wasn't long before the twin was wrapped around her, sobbing against her as she let out everything that was bothering her.

"He seemed fine at the hospital," Naomi whispered.

"That was before he had the worst nurse in history taking care of him and a moody three year old to compete with, he seems to think he's fine, but he's asleep by eight every night and sleeps right through til ten some mornings."

"Have you asked the doctor about it?"

"He already warned me about this. I'm just scared that Howard's not going to get over this depressed state he's in."

"If he doesn't improve they can probably give him mood stabilisers."

"How do you know that?" Katie asked, somewhat sceptically.

"That's what they did for me, after Emily left," Naomi admitted, "I'm sure it's what they probably did for Emily back in university."

"Oh, right."

"I don't know much about head injuries," Naomi began, "But I do know a bit about crazy moods. Howard will probably be as frustrated as you about all these changes, if not more. I doubt he's enjoying it."

The conversation eventually fizzled out and after a quick thank you, Katie was back in her car driving home again. She wished she could have told Naomi how she felt about their friendship, or lack of. How much she'd realised she'd missed having someone else to talk to. But the ship had sailed and no matter how much she wanted her old friend back, she was too stubborn to actually do something about it.

*

The house had been quiet for a few hours and Naomi was growing concerned. She'd put Harley and William to bed just forty minutes ago, but Lexie hadn't come out of her room since dinner time. It hadn't escaped Naomi's notice that her sister wasn't appearing as bubbly as she usually did.

"Lex?" she asked, knocking on the bedroom door gently.

After no response she pushed the door open. The little girl was lay on her bed with a book in her hands.

"Are you okay Lexie?"

"Fine," came her response.

"You've barely said a word to me since you got home from school."

"So?"

"Don't talk to me like that Lexie, you either speak properly or not at all."

"Fine," Lexie responded, rolling her eyes and staying silent.

Naomi watched her as she continued to read her book. It wasn't right. She could sense tension in the room. They'd always had such a close relationship, but the past couple of weeks had been different.

"Lexie," Naomi began again, sitting on the end of the bed, "You've barely said five words to me all week."

Silence.

"This isn't like you, will you just talk to me?"

Silence.

"Lexie, please, I'm worried."

Silence.

"Did something happen at school today?"

"Nothing happened," Lexie snapped, sitting up and throwing her book against the floor, "Just stop asking me questions."

"I'm worried Lex, I just want to know why you're acting like this."

"I'm fine, stop being such a loser."

"I'm a loser, am I?" Naomi asked, a small smile on her lips.

"Stop laughing at me," Lexie shouted, standing up and stamping her foot on the floor, "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry."

The little girl stared at her, their eyes connecting. There was a sad look in Lexie's eyes that worried Naomi, she wanted nothing more than to pull her sister into her arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But as she reached forwards, Lexie pulled back.

"I just want to be here for you Lex, please."

"I don't want you to be," Lexie replied, "I don't want to be here, I want to live with Emily."

"Lexie, please, " Naomi tried again, trying to hide the pain that threatened to send tears to her eyes, "We have an arrangement for a reason, so that you and Harls can spend time here as well as there."

"But I want to stay with Emily now," Lexie demanded, angrily.

"Well you can't, Emily has an important week at work."

"I don't care, I want to go live with Emily," Lexie cried out.

"Lexie, stop this behaviour," Naomi demanded, "I won't tell you again, you can't stay at Emily's until the end of the week. Now I think it's time for bed."

The tension was growing as Lexie folded her arms, growling out a frustrated noise, before throwing herself onto the bed fully clothed. Naomi could feel the sadness protrude between them. She didn't want to be the bad guy. She didn't want to be the one her sister didn't want to stay with. She didn't know how this had happened. Lexie was happy, she'd enjoyed having two homes, exploring two spaces that were both hers. She'd been thriving ever since the separation. Or so they'd always thought. Naomi flicked the light switch, wishing she could turn her feelings off just as easily. She closed the door and could feel herself regretting every decision she'd made.

**Author Notes: the perfect reward for writing this story is reading reviews, so if you want to make an unemployed fanfiction writer happy, click the link below and leave a message.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks to everyone for the reviews, such lovely nice long reviews, lol. JM, interesting observation there. To be honest at first it was just something I wanted to do because I enjoy the series, but it also makes it easier because I'm so in their heads now that it's easier to write the series than other fics.**

**APOLOGIES for not getting this chapter up sooner, it was going to be yesterday morning but FFnet has been having document manager issues, apparently. I have 3 chapters complete, though I will upload the next one tomorrow.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirteen**

The school playground was full of parents that Emily barely knew. Since Lexie moved to the junior school Emily had found herself more and more out of the loop. She recognised only a handful of parents, where before she knew or recognised most of them. Before the separation she'd spend the ten minutes waiting for school to get out talking to other parents and arranging sleepovers and other playdates. She felt isolated in a crowd as no one came over to talk to her, no one waved a hello.

"It helps if you actually walk over and talk to them," someone muttered behind her.

She turned, her eyes catching the blondeness of Naomi's hair as she stood facing her. She felt her tooth clip her lip with nerves. She didn't know what Naomi was doing there and for a moment didn't want to ask.

"I don't know any of these parents," she admitted, not knowing why she was sharing the information with Naomi.

"I didn't either for the first month, but a couple of weeks ago I just went over and started talking to them."

It was a simple conversation that under any other circumstance would have been easy to have. But Emily could feel herself growing more bothered than she would have liked.

"Why did you come?" Emily asked, trying to steer the conversation in a direction she felt more comfortable.

"I forgot to send Harry to nursery with Harley, I figured he wouldn't sleep without him."

"Oh, good call," Emily muttered, taking the soft brown toy rabbit from Naomi, "Thanks."

"How have you been?"

They'd not had a normal conversation in a long time but for some reason Naomi felt the need to create some small talk. She felt awkward in Emily's presence, like she had no right being there after the recent events. But she'd never shied away from a conversation she wanted to have.

"I've been okay, tired after last week," Emily admitted, "How about you?"

Maybe it was the reason she'd asked. Maybe Naomi just wanted Emily to ask her back, so that she could say the words she knew would make Emily squirm.

"Okay; I have a date tonight with a friend of someone at work."

"Oh."

There it was. The reaction she realised she'd wanted. Emily looked like she'd been slapped in the face. It wasn't that Naomi enjoyed her pain. She just wanted to tell her to make her feel jealous. But then she kept talking and she knew it was more than making her jealous.

"I don't really want to go out with her," she informed her, before wishing she hadn't started the whole conversation.

"Why do it then?" Emily asked, avoiding her gaze and looking disgruntled.

"We need to find a way of moving on, right?" Naomi muttered.

She couldn't deny that what Naomi was saying didn't hurt. She wanted to slap her and tell her it wasn't fair to rub the date in her face. She'd risked her heart by admitting she still loved Naomi; she didn't expect to get such a blatant rejection back. She felt jealousy and a hint of loathing. Was this where they'd ended up? Petty small talk to make each other jealous.

"I agree, we need to move on," Emily sighed, struggling to believe the words that came from her own mouth.

"I needed to talk to you about Lexie," Naomi informed her, changing the conversation as easily as changing underwear.

"What about her?"

Emily listened as Naomi told her what happened; the argument, Lexie's current mood.

"She said she wanted to stay with me?" Emily couldn't help feel a hint of gratification at Lexie's rejection of Naomi, she knew it wasn't fair but she let herself feel it anyway.

"She has barely spoken to me since, I don't know what's going on, maybe you can get through to her?" Naomi suggested.

"I'll try," Emily replied, "I'll see if I can get out of working late tomorrow, spend some time alone with her."

"You're working late while you have the kids?" Naomi asked, her tone anything but friendly.

"I have to, the firm is trying to expand overseas, there's a lot of preparation that goes into it."

"Oh right."

"But like I said, I'll try and rearrange."

"Just don't make promises you can't keep Emily," Naomi informed her, a slight warning in her voice.

"I wouldn't do that."

Before the conversation could go any further, the cloakroom doors had opened and children were filing out into the playground. Naomi made her excuses, not wanting to upset Lexie by hanging around.

*

A silence seeped into the car. Emily tried to strike up a conversation with Lexie, asking her questions about her day, her week and generally about school. But to no avail. By the time they reached the nursery, no words had bed shared and Emily was left dejected. She could feel tension between her and the little girl who never had an issue. It concerned her that she was so quiet; so different to the child she thought she knew. But when she thought about the last time she'd seen her, she remembered her quietness. She'd thought it strange, but passed it off when Lexie claimed to have a sore head. The inevitable conversation stayed on her mind, but she knew she had to find a good time to do it. Instead she continued to make one sided conversation and silently thanked Harley for his constant babbling the moment he reached them.

*

The woman Naomi had been set up with had red hair. It was a coincidence, pure chance in a world where most people had brown or blonde. It shouldn't have been an issue, but to Naomi it was. They went out for a meal. The woman ordered Pino Grigio. It was a common drink. It just so happened to be a drink that Emily and Naomi had liked to drink together. The meal was uneventful. The conversation fairly interesting. The woman was in fashion and she looked like it too. Her clothes were a little off the wall, which only reminded Naomi of what Emily used to say about her own dress.

"Me and Simone used to go to that club all the time, have you ever been?"

"Can't say I have," Naomi replied.

"I'm sorry look at me talking away, Simone is always telling me I talk too much. Tell me about you."

"Who is Simone?" Naomi asked, not really wanting to talk about herself, to even think about the mess that was her life.

"Oh she's my twin sister," the woman smiled.

Twins. It was too much of a coincidence. Too much of a strange, warped alternate reality where the only person she could go on a date with was a red haired twin.

"So, you have children?" she asked, looking interested in Naomi for the first time all evening.

"I have a son. But I'm also my younger sister's guardian."

"Oh, might I ask why?"

She never wanted to answer that question. It was often asked, usually by strangers who had no right dipping into her private life. She shook her head and looked away. The night was hardly going as she expected.

"I like you Naomi," the woman smiled, taking her hand without her permission, "But I get the impression that you're not feeling the same."

"No, I mean yes; I want this to work out," Naomi stumbled over her words.

It was a half truth. She wanted to be with a red headed twin, but she wasn't the one. When she looked up again Sarah was looking back. The woman's eyes were a grey-blue and captivating. She could feel herself slowly getting lost in the oceans before her. Her mind wandered back and forth between Sarah and Emily. Naomi accepted the option to have a night cap back at Sarah's house. They both knew what she really wanted. It wasn't that Naomi wanted to sleep with her, but part of her wouldn't let herself leave.

"Nice place," she mumbled, resting a hand on the back of a chair.

"Thanks, took the painters forever to get it done."

The small talk ended when Sarah took a step towards her, slipping her fingers into an interlock with her own. Their lips joined and within seconds they were in a passionate clinch. Sarah pushed her down against the sofa and Naomi could feel the near-strangers hands running along her thigh, touching her in places she wished she wouldn't.

"Erm," Naomi whispered, pulling away, sitting up on one side of the sofa.

"Is everything okay?" Sarah asked.

Was everything okay? She wanted to scream out that no it wasn't, that she may have had that colour of hair, but it didn't make her Emily. Instead she closed her eyes and thought of the girl she longed to hold in her arms and reached forwards, kissing Sarah with a new level of passion that she could only create from imagining that she was in fact about to fuck Emily.

*

There was a noise coming from the lounge. It wouldn't have mattered too much if it wasn't so loud or if the sounds that Emily could hear weren't of moans or if the only other people in the flat weren't eight and two. She wrapped her dressing gown around her waist and found Lexie sat on the sofa, staring at the television.

"What are you watching?" Emily asked, picking up the remote control when she caught sight of a naked breast.

"Nothing," Lexie muttered.

"That didn't look like nothing, that show was for adults, you shouldn't watch stuff like that."

"They were just kissing," Lexie replied.

"They were naked."

The little girl shrugged her shoulders, looking anything but worried at what she'd been caught watching.

"Lexie," Emily began, sitting down beside her, "How are you?"

"Fine," she muttered.

"You don't seem fine, you can tell me if you're not okay."

"I said I'm fine," she repeated, a scowl reaching her face.

"I'm just worried about you, you don't seem very happy at the moment."

"I'm fine," she shouted, standing up to emphasise her point.

"I don't think you are."

"I don't want to be here anymore," Lexie snapped, "I wanna go home."

"Naomi said you wanted to come stay here," Emily told her.

"Well I don't, I wanna go back to Naomi."

"You're staying here Lexie," she whispered, feeling confused.

Lexie folded her arms, pushing them firmly together as she marched off to her bedroom. Emily jumped as the bedroom door slammed shut. She was going to follow her, but thought better of it. Something was obviously wrong, but the more she'd pushed the issue, the more it seemed that she pulled away. Instead, Emily returned to her bedroom, where she attempted to fall asleep.

**Author Notes: I hope you enjoyed the chapter and please leave a review...especially if you want chocolate. :-p**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks guys for the awesome reviews, I'm liking these long ones! Nice to see you back Onlymel, but off again? Good you'll have that though! Woo! This chapter was fun to write, hope you enjoy and wow actually probably the longest chapter I've ever written...I'll try and upload the next one later today, it is one I'm excited to share with you so I really want the next chapter up already, lol.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Fourteen**

Ringing filled the apartment; the noise a constant distraction from the work Emily was trying to do. She eventually gave in when her mobile started to ring only seconds after the landline stopped.

"Naomi?"

"Where are you? I thought you'd be at home," Naomi responded.

"I am at home, but I'm busy."

There was a pause. Emily could sense Naomi's mind ticking over. She was growing impatient by the call already. If she wasn't so overworked she'd have liked to share a conversation with Naomi. But life wasn't allowing her the pleasure.

"Too busy to talk about Lexie?" Naomi asked.

It made her feel guilty. She wondered if that was Naomi's plan, or if she really did just need to talk to her about her sister.

"Okay, I'm listening," Emily sighed, making a quick note on a post-it.

"I picked her up from school and she's not spoken to me, not one word."

"I don't know what's wrong with her," Emily mused, feeling her worries return.

"I thought you would have called to update me."

"I haven't had the time. That meeting I rearranged was this evening, otherwise I would have called."

"Sorry."

"Look, Naomi, I want to talk about this I really do. But I have so much work to get done before tomorrow."

"I'm sorry that Lexie is such an inconvenience," Naomi snapped.

It made her hands shake and her heart race with frustration. She wanted to cry. But she didn't want to give Naomi the satisfaction.

"That isn't fair," she replied, biting on her lip to stop herself from crying.

"I'm sorry, but it feels like your work is suddenly more important than your family."

"That's not true, my family is everything to me Naomi, you know that."

"Do I? Last week you had to have the kids three days early and for a shorter time than planned because of your job."

"I did that because it wouldn't have been fair for them to spend all their time with me watching me work. I did it for them."

"Did you? Or did you do it for yourself? If you're too busy to spend time with them, just say."

"For fucks sake Naomi, this isn't about me. I really don't have the time to argue this. Lets just talk about Lex then I can get on with my work."

"You know what Ems, forget it. I'll sort it out myself."

"Naomi, come on, don't be a bitch about this."

"No, you're too busy just do your work and call me when you finally have a spare five minutes to think about someone other than yourself."

With a sigh, Emily dropped her phone against the desk. She looked down at the sheets of paper in front of her. Plans, budgets, they were all supposed to be filling her head, making her sick of the sight of them. Instead her head was filled with Naomi's words. She glanced at the formal letter pinned on her notice board, the offering of a job she both wanted and feared. The thought of Naomi, of Lexie and Harley made her feel guilty for ever considering it. She looked at the letter again. It was too good an opportunity to pass up. But the job would never be an option if she didn't complete the budgeting. The numbers travelled across the page, swimming about as a pain started to thump in her head. It was too much. All of it was just too much. She could feel herself loosing control. Picking up the papers she pushed them into her briefcase, out of sight and hopefully out of mind. It was all she could do to stop from screaming.

"Call me when you finally have a spare five minutes to think about someone other than yourself," Naomi's voice echoed in her head.

She was right. Emily was being selfish. No matter how much she pretended, she was working hard to further her career. Regardless of the financial reward which would in turn help her family, it was a selfish decision. She picked up the phone ready to dial Naomi's number, before changing her mind. She took her car keys off the table by the door. If Naomi wanted her to show her children came first, then she would do exactly that.

*

The children were in bed, Effy had gone out and Naomi was pissed off. She sat in front of the television half watching a film that she'd seen countless times and had never really liked. There were some times in her life when she wished she wasn't alone, to be honest it was most of the time, but sometimes it really bothered her. Dealing with Lexie, she wished that her mum had been there or even her step-dad. Just an extra person to take the reigns. She could feel her ability to deal with Lexie's rejection of everything disintegrating with every second that passed. Her little sister wasn't happy and as much as she tired to help her, she was in actual fact, helpless. It hurt. It scared her. And then she became distracted by the door.

"Not once in my life do I want you to ever accuse me of putting something or someone ahead of my children."

It shocked her, sent her flying backwards with surprise as Emily came darting into the house. She hadn't welcomed her in and quite frankly, she didn't feel like seeing her. But she was there, stood in their kitchen, reaching out for the bottle of wine she'd left open on the kitchen counter.

"Help yourself," she snapped, sarcastically.

"You wanted to talk about Lexie, so lets do it."

"I already told you Emily," Naomi began, before being interrupted.

"And I already told you, nothing comes ahead of those two, so you'd better start talking."

"She hasn't spoken all night. I asked her a couple of questions but mostly she just shrugged or made noises."

"That's what happened with me," Emily sighed.

"I thought she wanted to live with you?!" Naomi pointed out, surprised.

"Guess again, as soon as I started asking her about her mood she told me she wanted to be back here."

"Avoidance," Naomi mumbled.

She pulled the bottle of wine towards her and without finding a glass, pushed it to her lips and gulped down a few mouthfuls.

"Slow it down," Emily smiled.

"I'm scared Ems, I'm really scared."

It was the first time Emily had seen Naomi's true vulnerability. She looked back over the past year and noted how selfish she had been against Naomi too. She hated it, hated it all. The woman sat in front of her had once been her whole life. Yet she'd abandoned her when she really needed someone to be there.

"She's a kid," Emily muttered, slipping her arms around Naomi's shaking body, "She'll bounce back."

"What if she doesn't?"

It wasn't an option. If Emily let it be an option she knew the fear would consume her.

"Don't talk like that."

"I'm supposed to take care of her, mum would hate to see what's happened. She'd be disappointed in me. I've failed."

"You haven't failed. It's not over."

But she could see from the pain in Naomi's eyes that she was on the verge of giving up. Neither of them wanted it, neither of them could stand it. But Naomi was the only one broken hearted. Emily held her, slipping her hands tighter around her body. It took a few minutes, but the tears finally fell and Naomi gave in to her emotions. It was wrong for Emily to think of kissing her, or think of the sweet scent that was a mixture of Naomi's natural body odour and deodorant. Her body was reacting to the close contact. A risk she was willing to take as she comforted the woman she still loved. They were so close, their faces growing closer as Naomi looked up into her eyes. It was all Emily could do not to lean down and kiss her soft, gentle lips. Then Naomi moved upwards and their lips barely brushed against each other when Naomi pulled back again, pushing Emily away, her eyes growing wild with what Emily could only describe as love and fear.

"Don't," she cried, taking Naomi's hand, pulling her back to her.

"I can't," Naomi sobbed, brushing fresh tears from her eyes as she moved across the kitchen.

It was a defining moment. Something had happened, yet nothing at all. They had come so close to it, so close to everything Emily wanted. Until Naomi had ripped it away, again. But that look in her eyes, Emily's heart raced as she thought about it. Naomi said she didn't love her, or at least that's what she implied. Her eyes said something very different.

"I think you should go," Naomi told the floor, a harsh tone in her voice putting up a barrier between them, "We can keep an eye on Lexie, hope she'll get through it."

A nod was all Emily could muster. It was hard to be so silent when her heart was screaming at her to keep at it, to keep pushing Naomi until she admitted what Emily knew was true. Each footstep she took from the kitchen, closing the front door, sliding into the drivers seat of her car. Every moment was mirrored by her heart breaking into millions of tiny pieces.

*

Second date. It had been a long time since a first date had led to sex that she didn't know what to expect. The first date she usually kissed the person, the second date was hardly ever a step further.

"Are you okay? You seem quiet."

Sarah was trying to be nice. Though all Naomi could think about was how little the woman knew about her. She wanted to ask her how she seemed quiet when she barely knew what her normal was. It was an unfair thought and she cursed herself for it.

"I'm fine," she tried.

Who was she kidding? She was far from it. Her sister had become a voluntary mute and she'd ruined any chance she had of happiness. Not only had she pushed Emily away, but she was ruining things with Sarah. She wanted to kick herself, to slap herself across the face and tell her to grow up and stop being such a stupid bitch.

"You can talk to me," Sarah informed her, her gentle smile so sweet. Under any other circumstances, Naomi would have thought herself lucky to have met such a beautiful woman.

"It's not you, I just can't," she replied, pulling herself further from a moment of happiness.

"It's not you, it's me, right?" Sarah asked, biting her lip, looking so much like Emily under the dull lights of the restaurant.

Naomi stared at her fingers, "You remind me too much of my ex, I'm sorry."

"So it is me," Sarah muttered, looking anything but pleased.

"I'm sorry, I am."

"And the other night?" she asked, looking heartbroken, "It wasn't me you wanted to sleep with."

There were no words that Naomi could say to make it better, so she closed her eyes and stared at the white table cloth. It was all that was needed. There was movement and the sound of tears and then she was gone. As if right on cue her phone started ringing, the name on the screen 'Emily'. She tried to ignore her but as soon as she'd cancelled the call, Emily tried again. She was about ready to fall apart. The calls a reminder that her life was in fact sliding further into oblivion. It was growing harder to resist hearing Emily's voice so she answered her persistence.

"I don't want to talk about it," she informed her caller.

"Where are you?"

"Not that its any of your business but I'm on a date," she didn't know why she lied, but it didn't feel wrong, it felt okay to pretend, just this once.

"Whatever Naomi, I don't care whose pants you're getting into this week; Lexie called me."

Within seconds she'd stopped thinking about everything that was bad and began thinking about Lexie.

"Apparently there's a lot of noise at your house, she said it sounds like a party. Do you want to tell me what is going on or shall I go round there and sort it out myself?"

"It's probably Effy, I'll sort it," Naomi informed her, a headache slowly invading the peace inside her mind.

*

It was more than a party Naomi concluded when she reached the house. The door lay open and music was pumping across the street. Several neighbours were either stood in their doorways or watching the palaver from behind curtains. It was embarrassing. Naomi got out of her car and was quickly accosted by the old lady that didn't approve of her 'lesbian' lifestyle, whatever that meant.

"I'm an old lady, I can't sleep with that racket, you and your new age life, there's no room for it on this street."

"I'm sorry about the noise," Naomi informed her, trying to ignore the overwhelming urge to tell her where to go, "I didn't realise this was happening, I'm here to stop it."

"Yes, you better listen to me love or I'll have the social round, you call yourself a mother,"

It would have been very easy to slap the woman, had she not been eighty six and carrying a walking stick. Instead Naomi walked away, counting slowly as she tried to calm down. The house was a mess; people were stood around, drinks in their hands, the odd couple playing tennis with their tongues. Naomi felt a distinct amount of deja-vu as she found Effy dancing wildly on the coffee table, seeming like she had no cares in the world.

"Effy!" she shouted over the music, with no effect whatsoever as the brunette continued to dance.

The only option was to turn the music off herself. She felt like a mother scolding her teenaged daughter and wondered when she'd gotten so old that she couldn't enjoy a party in her house. She hesitated over the power button, before a crying came from the baby monitor on the bookshelf. It pulled her back to reality and allowed her to push the power button. A chorus of groans filled the room and all eyes were on Naomi.

"Get out of my fucking house or you'll all be speaking to the bloody police."

The threat was all that was needed for most of the partygoers to vanish. Not before Naomi noticed a number of them with cigarettes and recreational drugs in their hands. She felt sick. Effy didn't join her guests, instead she sat down on the nearest chair, looking lifeless, her pupils like saucers. Harley's crying filled the silence that now followed Naomi's arrival. She took a final look at Effy before disappearing upstairs to see to her sobbing child.

*

The drug was wearing off and Effy could feel herself falling hard. She had grown up a lot since college; university had been nothing but a party, but when it was over, she found herself in a void. She drank occasionally and partied just as often, but drugs hadn't been part of life until that night. She didn't even know anyone who had come to the party and after taking the ecstasy, she really didn't care. Naomi appeared at the doorway; calm and unmoving. It made Effy feel awkward and uncomfortable, a weird vibe in the room like what she imagined a volcano would feel like just before it erupted.

But Naomi didn't shout and that made it all the more scary, "What happened?"

"Just a party," she whispered, no emotion in her response.

"Just a party?" Naomi asked, her voice growing louder, "Just a fucking party?"

"Yes."

"This isn't college Effy, there are two children upstairs who couldn't sleep because of the noise. My son is petrified because there was no one there looking after him. Lexie called Emily to sort it out. Do you know how it makes me feel getting a call in the middle of my date telling me that a party was happening in my house?"

An explosion, the volcano was erupting and like people living in a village below a dangerous mountain, all Effy could do was sit there and watch.

"Drop it Naomi," Effy tried, but Naomi was far from done.

"Not to mention the fucking drugs being consumed in this house, in front of my children. And you, you're fucking pregnant. Does that mean nothing to you?"

"I'm sorry," Effy tried, her eyes filling with tears. She held back. She couldn't cry, she wouldn't let herself cry.

"Are you eighteen or twenty eight?" Naomi carried on talking, her voice growing more concerned and angry the more she spoke.

"Please Naomi, I've had a tough day; Freddie doesn't want anything to do with this baby. It's been a tough month."

She was hoping for some sympathy, a bit of friendship in her hour of need. But all she got was laughter.

"Try a tough eighteen months Effy, try living my life. You think you have it bad? Try being me for five fucking minutes. I have a little sister who won't even fucking talk to me, who shouldn't even be in my care but is because she lost her parents, my family, before she could even understand what pain felt like. Try having your whole world ripped apart when your so called wife sleeps with someone else, while you're sat at home suffering from depression you got because you had a baby. Try living a year without anyone to talk to, without anyone to help you when you were down, without anything but the two children that you put in danger tonight. You think your life is bad? You need to fucking look in the mirror because from where I'm standing it's Christmas at Effy's house, or at least it was until you fucked it all up."

The tears were falling, Effy was crying for what she tried to believe was no specific reason. But as Naomi's words sunk in and she began to sober up, everything hit her hard.

"I made a mistake," she admitted.

"A mistake? You fucking betrayed my trust. I asked you to look after my children, I let you stay here and this is how you repay me?"

It was the truth, everything Naomi was saying was the truth. It had been difficult to see that, but as the haze of the high cleared, so did her blindness to everything.

"I need to sort my life out."

"You bet you do."

"I'm sorry, this won't, I won't do this again. I'm going to change," Effy tried, hoping for a positive reaction from Naomi.

"Yes you do," Naomi began, "It's not easy you know, picking yourself up when you have nobody to support you."

"I know," Effy muttered, "But I'll find a way. I'll be out of here tomorrow morning."

She half expected Naomi to accept her apologies and welcome her back with open arms, to offer her the support she needed to truly pull her life back on track. But Naomi stayed silent; a small nod the only reaction she got. It was the end of the line and as much as she wanted her friend by her side, she could see now just what damage she was doing to other people. It had always been that way. She'd always managed to fuck other people up when trying to make things right for herself. But for once, she could finally see a light at the end of the tunnel and that light was the baby growing inside of her.

**Author Notes: Anyone fancy cake? Or ice cream? Or both? Then please review. :-D**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks guys for the reviews, cake and ice cream for anyone who wanted it and did review, lol. The more I write the more I want to post and share the coming chapters with you, but I don't want to give you too much at once, lol. So basically I have the next chapter already written, but enjoy this one...**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Fifteen**

The visit to the hospital had been difficult. Howard had acted like a child the whole way; complaining about every little thing and barely answering the doctor's questions. Katie had tried to talk about the mood swings he'd been suffering, but he wouldn't let her and they left the hospital both feeling anything but satisfied.

"You heard what the doctor said Howie, you have to do the exercises or you'll delay your recovery."

"I'm not doing them Katie, how many times do I have to tell you that?!"

"Try a million because I'm not ignoring what the doctor said, he said it to help you recover. Don't you want to recover?"

"And I said I won't fucking do it, so stop asking me to."

"Charming Howard, so very charming. Swear at me all you like, but you need to keep active or you'll turn into fat and bones."

"Just fucking leave me alone, cant you see I'm trying to do level sixteen here, it's fucking difficult."

Deep breathing was all Katie could do to stop herself from exploding. She was sick of his behaviour, sick of watching him do little with every waking day. The game was beeping, noises of guns and fighting filled the space and she could feel herself getting worked up. She watched Howard, analysing his emotionless face, trying to pick out parts that still resembled her husband. As he continued to play, she realised that he looked nothing like him. The Howard she knew was clean shaven and dressed smartly, even when it was casual. He had a smile on his face and he always looked like a teenage boy when he played computer games. Instead he looked like a lazy, good for nothing dole dosser wasting his life by playing computer games and eating himself into an early grave. She didn't like that look about him. She knew that getting normal Howard back wouldn't be an easy battle, but at least she could stop him from playing on that damn games console. She knelt beside the television and unplugged the machine, wrapping her arms around it as she carried it towards the door.

"You better fucking give that back Katie, don't do this."

But she wasn't listening. He was shouting after her, swearing as loudly as he could. It made her feel powerful. It also made her heart bleed. Howard had never argued with her when she'd asked him to turn off the game, he'd always try to persuade her to let him play a little while longer. The only way she could handle his complaints way by thinking that he wasn't her Howard.

*

It was supposed to be a happy occasion, she knew that, but she couldn't help feel that happiness was slipping away. She was scared, she was angry and even though she was happy too, the other feelings kept the happiness at bay.

"Where have you been?" Howard accosted Katie before she'd even walked in the door.

"At work, someone's got to make a living. Unless you haven't noticed Howard, we're actually struggling for money at the moment," she snapped, not appreciating the unwelcome committee.

"Not earlier," he snapped, "You finished work over an hour ago."

"So I took a detour on the way home, I'm back now."

She said it with such nonchalance. It didn't matter to her that he was annoyed, she just wanted to get into the house and relax. It had been a long day and her feet were tired from spending most of it on her feet. It was hard enough taking care of Howard, but when she had to spend half the day dealing with a group of rowdy children, her patience often grew thin.

"No, don't you fucking keep stuff from me, you're supposed to be here as soon as work is over. You're supposed to come home."

"I am home," Katie replied, unable to understand where he was coming from.

"Your first priority is me, why the fuck weren't you here?"

It was too much information, too much pressure to be under as soon as she'd walked through the door. She wasn't feeling well and she could feel tears hanging on the edge of her eyelids.

"Well?"

"Stop acting like a child Howard, you're big enough and ugly enough to look after yourself, even if you are ill."

"Don't you dare speak to me like that, you can't speak to me like that," he defended, looking flustered and panicked.

"Try and stop me," Katie muttered, half heartedly throwing it out there as she set off towards the kitchen.

"No," Howard replied, stepping in her way and grabbing hold of her wrists.

He didn't want to do it, but he was angry and could feel himself losing control. He tried to tell himself no, but it wouldn't work. He vaguely remembered the doctor talking about the ability to stop yourself doing things being effected and for the first time he could see it happening. He just couldn't stop it.

"Howard," Katie tried, her voice growing quiet and sad, "Let go, you're hurting me."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do, I know what I'm doing, I don't need you telling me what to do."

She could feel herself growing weary. Howard's hands were digging into her wrists, it was painful, but he didn't seem to want to let go. A couple of tears strolled down her cheeks, but she managed to hold back the rest that she could feel brewing. Her head was pounding and no matter how hard she tried to stay up, she could feel her knees growing weak as she slowly slid downwards. Something stopped her from falling to the floor, she was being supported by Howard's arms as his grip loosened on her wrists.

"I," he began, but he just shook his head.

The way she fell against him pulled him from his anger. It was like a switch had been turned on and he was feeling better again. It scared him that the switch in his brain seemed to have a life of it's own. He was worried about Katie. He'd never seen her look so scared, so worried in his arms. Nor had he expected her to struggle to stand up. He helped her to the lounge where she sat down. It was his turn to take care of her, his turn to stand up and be the person he was supposed to be. Katie had other ideas.

"You need to fucking sort yourself out Howard," she snapped, feeling stronger, she pulled herself back out of the seat and stood up.

"You need to stop talking to me like I'm a child," Howard snapped back, he could feel himself growing angry enough to mirror Katie's emotions.

"No, you fucking listen to me, you have got a problem, I don't care if you think you do or not. You fucking do and it's about time you started acting like it."

It wasn't that he didn't like being told what to do, or that he didn't like Katie swearing at him. But that switch was turned on again. It was like he was watching from a distance, the slow motion action of his hand moving up into the air before slicing through it again, falling hard against her face. As quickly as his angry outburst was switched on, it switched off again. Katie looked more than scared and worried; she looked petrified. He wanted to wrap his arms around her and apologise. But he knew there was no hope.

"I can't do this anymore," Katie whispered, her hand covering her rosy red cheek, her voice painfully small and broken.

"Katie," Howard tried, but words failed him.

"I'll be at Emily's."

This was his only chance to stop her, to tell her that he didn't like what he was becoming, that he hated himself more than she hated him right now. She was moving, walking up the stairs and before he could do what he was carefully planning in his mind, she'd walked out of the door and Howard was left standing in the middle of the hallway; alone.

*

There were sixteen sets of documents that Emily needed to focus on, four of which made her head spin. The presentation document on her computer was full of graphs and figures that she knew were right, but until she double checked them, she couldn't save the document as complete. It was tedious work and she wished it was already over. The letter pinned to her notice board was ogling her from a distance and with every minute sat in front of it, she could feel a desire to accept the job. It finally became too much. She unplugged the laptop and picked up the documents, carrying them out into the lounge, where she dropped them on the coffee table.

"Why couldn't they just fire me?" she asked the fish, that swam about the fish tank in the corner.

It wasn't her desire to have any pets, but JJ thought it fun to give one to the children as a present. She admired his generosity and ability to make children happy, but she hated the thought of cleaning it out. She dropped herself against the sofa and took a long, deep breath as she allowed herself a five minute break. Before she had chance to return to her work, there was a loud and threatening knock on the door.

"Who the fuck is that?" she asked the fish again, rolling her eyes as it swam into the plastic house that lay at the bottom of the tank.

The moment she opened the door and found Katie stood on the other side, a bag in her hands and her face covered in tears, she pulled her into her arms and they stood there for a while. There wasn't much else she could do as she comforted her sister as best as she could. Eventually the tears slowed and they sat themselves down on the sofa. It was difficult not to notice the red handprint on Katie's face.

"What happened?" Emily asked, motioning towards the mark.

It wasn't that she wanted to keep it from Emily, but she didn't know how to admit that Howard had done it to her. He'd hit her. Granted it was only a slap, but he had never lay a finger on her before.

"He got angry, he didn't know what he was doing," she finally admitted, staring at her fingers as she spoke.

"Howard did this?" Emily gasped, struggling to believe it.

"He didn't mean to."

Emily shook her head, "Regardless, he hit you Katie."

"Like I don't know that," Katie snapped, "I have a fucking handprint on my face."

"I'm sorry. Where's William?"

"He's staying at a friend's tonight, I don't need to pick him up until after nursery tomorrow."

There was a silence that made Emily think about all of the work lay untouched on the coffee table. Part of her wanted to carry on with what she was doing, but as she watched her sister, she knew it wasn't her priority.

"I can't do this anymore," Katie admitted, appearing anything but together.

"It's okay, you can get through this, I know you can."

"No it's not okay, nothing is okay."

Those few small words said everything that was needed to be said. Emily watched her twin sister, waiting for whatever else was about to come next. She thought of questions she wanted to ask, but knew that no matter what she said, Katie would only tell her what she wanted to. It was a long wait. Emily watched Katie, waiting patiently for her to continue talking.

"I'm pregnant Ems."

The last words she ever expected Katie to say had been the only thing she did say. Emily could feel her eyebrows furrow in confusion. Questions formed in her mind and she tried to ask them, but she was too much in shock.

"I don't even know how it happened. You know we thought it never would, not after," Katie trailed off.

"Wow," Emily gasped, speechless.

"I guess when they said probably won't be able to have kids, it meant probably not, but there's a small chance."

Katie wished that she could feel happy, that she could feel the emotion she'd always wanted to feel at her news. But she couldn't muster anything but fear.

"I was late and I've been feeling really off lately, I haven't had a coffee in a month. I thought I just had a bug or a cold coming on."

"When did you find out?" Emily whispered, still looking completely taken aback.

"Today, before Howie, before, before we argued," Katie stuttered, "I wanted to tell him, but I'm scared Ems, I'm scared that it won't work out and Howie is in a well bad place right now. This is the worst possible timing."

"But, you're pregnant?" Emily asked, her lips curling at the sides as the words finally sunk in.

"I am," Katie smiled, before frowning again, "I want to be happy, I want this to be good news."

"It is Katie, it is fantastic news."

"But it's not," she sighed, "I'm scared Ems, I'm really, really scared. I don't know if my relationship with Howard can get through this, I'm not sure if we can afford another child and, and there's still a chance it can all go wrong."

The news made Emily want to squeal with happiness and hug Katie and pull out a bottle of champagne. Katie's reactions were anything but how they were supposed to and it made Emily feel sad.

"I've been such a mess lately," Katie admitted, struggling to fight back tears, "My emotions have been all over the place, I guess this explains it."

"Things will work out, they have to."

"But what if they don't?"

There were tears, so many tears and she couldn't stop them as much as she tried. It wasn't easy anymore, it hadn't been easy for too long. But now it was even harder to deny that things weren't going well. Emily's hand touched Katie's, a small gesture of comfort.

"This whole, this whole fucking mess; it's the worst thing I've ever had to deal with. If I knew five years ago that being nice and finding a decent man who loved me for me was going to end up this way I wouldn't have fucking done it. I really wish I could turn back the clock."

It was difficult to hear, but the look in Katie's eyes told Emily that it was hurting her just as much to say it. She found herself thinking about how upset Katie was and how bad so many things were in her life and how good it was that there was something beautiful coming out of something so messy.

"No you don't," Emily whispered.

Katie felt ashamed to have even thought it, ashamed that she'd wished her whole current life away. She thought about her son and how special he was; how much he looked and acted like both of them. She thought about what she said and what it would have meant had she actually known and changed the future before it was going to happen. All she could see was empty space. She had grown up when she met Howard, she had found out who she wanted to be as a person and as a wife. Without Howard she could barely see herself and without William she couldn't see herself at all. The more she thought about it, the more the tears flowed.

"No, I don't."

**Author Notes: Did anyone see that one coming? Got anything to say about it? Want some chocolate chip cookies? Please review.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you for the reviews. I find the weekends are often quieter on here, but I'm going to upload this chapter anyway. Enjoy guys!**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Sixteen**

"I can't believe you dragged me here," Emily whispered to Katie.

"I didn't drag you, you're the one who doesn't want to leave me be," she defended.

"Can't I be worried about you?"

"Not when it means smothering me," Katie rolled her eyes.

Emily sighed, "I still can't believe I'm sat in a church."

"What's so wrong with it? We used to go all the time when we were in Brownies."

"That was before, you know, I realised I was," Emily paused, before whispering faintly, "gay."

"So what if you are?"

"In case you've forgotten; Christianity frowns upon homosexuality, if I remember correctly, there's something negative in the bible about people who are gay."

"That was gay men. Either way, there's nothing wrong with being in a church."

"How do you know? How do you know he's not waiting up there for me to start praying before he zaps me?"

"Zaps you?" Katie laughed, unable to control her reaction, "We're not in some weird male action comedy, we're in reality; God doesn't 'zap' people."

"How do you know?"

"Welcome to St Matthews," the vicar announced, causing Katie to sit up straight and turn her attention to the man at the front of the room.

"Shh, it's starting."

*

The congregation filed out of the church as soon as the service had ended. Emily sat patiently, waiting for Katie to move.

"Can we go?"

"I want to speak to the Vicar," she muttered.

"Well can I go? I think I just saw that old bitch that lives down the road from my, from Naomi's."

Zapping gay people might not have been something Katie considered possible. But swearing in church was something she didn't think he'd approve of. She glared at Emily.

"Oh for fu...it's not even a proper swear word anymore," Emily defended herself.

"Maybe you should wait outside, I don't want to scare the Vicar."

She didn't need to be asked twice. Emily nodded her head and made a quick exit, avoiding the old woman by dodging through the crowd.

"It's been a couple of weeks since your last visit," a voice stated as Katie watched Emily with laughter.

"Oh hi vicar," she smiled, turning to face him, "And yeah, I know, I wanted to come back, but I just didn't feel like I fit in here."

"This is God's house, you just need to turn up to fit in here," he smiled, his gentle voice making Katie's lips curl into a smile.

"I don't mean to sound disrespectful, but most of the people here are well older than me."

"Ah, I understand. You're not the first Katie and you won't be the last. There's a church down by the high street, St Josephs, the congregation has a higher percentage of younger church goers. You might prefer to attend there."

She felt awkward for suggesting that the church wasn't enjoyable, more so when he was offering her an alternative with only a smile on his face.

"Isn't that like sending someone to Burger King when you work at McDonalds?" she asked, frowning.

"We're all believers in the Lord, Katie, it doesn't matter where we do it, as long as it gets done. Thank you for trying us out."

"Thank you, you're very kind."

The car park for the church was only small, so they'd parked a few streets away. As soon as her sister had appeared at the door, Emily fell into step beside her.

"You coming back to the land of the coffin dodgers?" Emily questioned.

"Do you have to say things like that while we're on church property?" Katie snapped.

"It was just a joke Katie, I'm sorry if I offended you, I just didn't feel very accepted in there. I don't even know if I believe anyway."

"Why did you come if you feel that way?" Katie asked, frustrated.

"I dunno, I guess I wanted to see if I could gain any perspective on this mess with Naomi."

"And did you?"

"Not really. But while everyone was preying I was doing some thinking; Naomi's made it clear that she wants to move on, even if she is still in love with me. So I'm going to make it official and ask to end the civil partnership."

Ending the relationship, officially, wasn't something she wanted to do. In an ideal world she would have loved to stay married to Naomi. But she knew it wasn't fair on either of them.

"You're getting divorced?"

"I don't think they use that word for people like us, but yes. Naomi wants to move forwards and I think until we make it official neither of us can really do that."

"What about Harley and Lexie?"

"What about them? This separation has caused enough trouble. Lexie needs some stability."

"How will you and Naomi ending your marriage do that? It just makes it official that you two aren't getting back together. Besides, you'll still be sharing custody, so they'll still be going back and forth between both of you."

It wasn't how she wanted to approach the discussion she knew was about to follow. But the situation had brought itself into a place where she had to tell her.

"I'm thinking of giving Naomi full custody and just have visitation. What we do at the moment is a half arsed attempt at shared custody and it's not working. As soon as the kids are settled here or there, they have to move again."

"But why give Naomi the full custody? You have every right to it, as much as she does."

"It's not a decision I've made lightly Katie, but there's other factors effecting this."

"Such as?"

"I got offered a promotion at work, if I take it, I won't have as much time to spend with them."

Katie couldn't believe what she was hearing. One minute Emily wanted custody and was willing to fight for it, next she was handing it to Naomi on a plate. It wasn't right. She'd always taken her family seriously, now it felt like she was taking them for granted and Katie wasn't willing to let that happen.

"So you're going to take a job that means you never see your children? I thought they were everything to you."

It wasn't how Emily wanted the conversation to go. She was finding acceptance of her decision difficult and Katie's reluctance to agree that it was the right thing to do was setting her mind off on overdrive again.

"It's not like that. This is an amazing opportunity Katie. I've never had career ambitions before, but this job is everything I could have dreamt about had I thought about it."

"But the world doesn't revolve around Emily," Katie snapped, "Is this really the time to stop being around when Lexie is being the way she is?"

"I've thought about that Katie, the job doesn't start for another four months. I've thought about everything. Believe me if I could have both without sacrificing the other in some way, I would. But that would be too much to ask of Naomi. I couldn't take them away from her."

"Take them away from her? How would you do that? Its not like you'd be moving to another country, your job is twenty minutes away."

It was the one thing that Emily had put her off telling Katie, telling anyone. She bowed her head, trying to find the words she needed to explain.

"What are you not telling me?" Katie asked, seeing through her struggle.

"It's not twenty minutes away Katie, at least it won't be for a while. The job is in San Francisco, it's in the US."

"What?"

The words repeated in Katie's mind, spinning around like a football having been kicked across a field. One minute they were sat in church discussing God's punishment for homosexuality, the next they were discussing Emily disappearing halfway around the world. It was too much to think about on top of everything already going on in her life.

"They're expanding overseas," Emily continued talking, "The first step is for a team of us to go over there to set up the new offices. We'd spend between six months and a year out there training up a new team who would then take over. After that we'd come back here and oversee both sides of the Atlantic from the Bath headquarters."

Anger was bubbling up inside. It was a mixture of selfish and selfless anger. She didn't want Emily to go. Of course she didn't want her sister to risk losing out in her children's lives, but she also didn't want to miss having Emily in her own life. They'd come a long way from their days in college where Katie was nothing but rude to her. Now they were more than just sisters, they were best friends. Her hand slid subconsciously to her stomach. Four months. She wasn't sure if she could handle being pregnant or giving birth without Emily there.

"So you're happy to buggar off to another country and leave your children with only Naomi?" she shouted, hiding behind the only other defence she had.

"No, of course not. But what other choice do I have? The job will mean I'll be financially stable. I'd be able to afford to fly back and forth as much as I'd want and the job means I can set my own hours. If I work myself to the bone for half the week I can take long weekends."

"And you think that would make it okay?"

The reaction was worse than she expected. Katie had never accepted change very well, particularly change that involved Emily. She didn't want to feel so selfish, but she was sick of Katie's feelings coming before her own. It was supposed to be an exciting situation. But as Katie's anger became apparent, she couldn't help but wonder just how badly Naomi would take it.

"No I don't. But while Naomi and I are constantly living side by side, I can't move on. Seeing her all the time is driving me insane. She wants to move on and in many ways so do I. While I still live here, I never will."

"Okay."

There was a level of despondence in Katie's voice. It was what she'd wanted; for Katie to accept it. But it didn't make her feel any better knowing that she wasn't doing it with happiness.

"Okay what?"

"If you really think it's the right thing to do then go for it, but don't come crying to me if it all goes wrong."

"Thanks for the support," Emily muttered, rolling her eyes.

*

It was becoming a habit for Lexie to disappear into her room and slam the door when she came home from school. As usual Naomi sat Harley in front of the television while she made them a snack and emptied out their packed lunches. She searched through Lexie's bag for the contents of her half open lunch box.

"Really should tell her to do this herself," she mumbled.

She almost gave up until a piece of paper slid out of the bag and landed on the floor. Lexie usually gave her letters, even since she'd stopped talking to her. But the letter that she picked up was dated nearly a month ago.

_Dear Ms Campbell,_

_Lexie's school report from the infant school showed a bright and competent child in all areas of the curriculum. It has been unfortunate that we have not seen anything to support this assumption. Her reading age has not improved where others on the same level have and her constant backchat is disrupting lessons. We have tried talking to her in the aim of improving her attainment. But her reluctance has worried us. We would appreciate if you could contact us for further discussion on Lexie's schooling._

_Sincerely,_

_Miss Higgins_

"Fuck," Naomi snapped, sliding onto a stool.

It was a shock, it was more than a shock. Things had been fine, or so she'd thought. Lexie was always talking about how much she liked school and how much she loved her teachers. It suddenly occurred to Naomi that other than the first couple of weeks of the school term, Lexie had actually said very little. She thought back on her last conversation about it. Lexie had sounded okay, but she gave a half hearted answer about how she didn't like her teacher that much anymore. Naomi could feel herself shaking. It was one more thing to put on her list of problems. It suddenly made her feel very angry. One month ago the letter had been written. One month and she hadn't seen it? She wondered if Emily had been the one to get it. Had she just forgotten to tell her? The way things had been lately, she found herself wondering if it was Lexie who had kept it from her. Before she could think about what she doing, she was storming up the stairs.

"Lexie," she announced as she pushed the bedroom door open without knocking, "What do you call this?"

The little girls eyes were wide with shocked; the only answer Naomi needed to hear to continue talking.

"You kept this from me didn't you? Thought I wouldn't find out that your doing badly in school? This is not on. We share things in this house, we tell each other if there's a problem. We _don't_ lie and keep things from each other. Do you understand?"

It was the wrong approach. She knew that and yet she still let herself shout and wave her arms around in anger. She was furious at Lexie, furious that she had closed herself off from her so much. As the fury filled her she realised it wasn't Lexie she was furious with at all. It was herself. She'd been so self obsessed of late that she hadn't even asked Lexie about school in several weeks. It was her fault that Lexie hadn't shared the letter and it was her fault that she couldn't calm down.

"It's not my fault," Lexie shouted, "Its not my fault."

"Oh yes it is," Naomi snapped, regretting her words as soon as she said them, but something kept her talking, kept her regretting everything that came from her mouth, "You think that you can brush everything under the carpet and pretend it doesn't exist? The world doesn't work like that and until you understand that you are grounded. No television, no games, no chocolate, no parties, no fun. Do you understand?"

She felt better when she'd finished and she knew it was wrong. Her frustrations weren't all because of Lexie and she knew that. It was too late, she'd taken one step too far and as Lexie jumped off her bed in a rage, she knew it was a step she would regret for a long time.

"I hate you, I hate living here. I wish I lived with Emily, I wish you were dead like mummy and daddy."

The words hit her like daggers, piercing through her skin and ripping apart everything she thought was good. Part of her felt like she deserved it, another part wished the argument could start over so that she could stop herself from pushing Lexie to those words. She left the room in silence, going back downstairs to check on Harley and to give him his snack. It felt wrong to return to what she had previously been doing. But the alternative she knew would have been much harder to bare.

*

"Mama sing fish," Harley announced as Naomi pulled him onto her knee.

"Okay, lets sing the fishy song," she smiled, holding onto his hands, "Are you ready?"

Harley nodded and began singing, "One, two, free, for, fie,"

Naomi joined in as Harley babbled along, "Once I caught a fish alive."

"Sis, sen, eigh, nie, ten,"

"Then I let it go again. Why did you let it go? Because it bit my finger so, which finger did it bite? This little finger on the right," Naomi sang, holding his finger, before pretending to bite it.

"No!" Harley squealed, pulling his hand away, "Sing baa baa?"

It was the distraction Naomi needed to put the argument with Lexie out of her mind. She sang along with Harley, focusing all of her attention on him as they enjoyed the nursery rhymes. Part way through one of the songs a noise in the hallway interrupted them, pulling Naomi's attention away from her son.

"You keep singing there little tyke," she smiled, sitting him on the floor, "Mummy's going to check if someone's at the door."

She peered through the window and opened the door. But there was no one around. She frowned and closed the door but she didn't return to Harley. She stood in the hallway, pondering the sound she'd heard.

"Lexie?" she shouted, running up the stairs to check on her sister, "Lexie, is it okay if I come in?"

It didn't matter if it did, Naomi pushed the door open and glanced around the empty room. She searched the other rooms in the upstairs of the house, before running downstairs to check the kitchen. Her heart was beating tenfold and she could feel her breathing speed up. Lexie was nowhere to be seen. She went back to the front door, panic-stricken as she pulled it open and looked around, not really sure why she was looking. It was too late. Lexie was not there.

**Author Notes: Cheesecake anyone? Or carrot cake? Or even apple pie? Take your pick on dessert and please review.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for such wonderful reviews, everyone gets the desserts they requested! A special mention to the small number of people out there who just recently read all chapters from all parts of this series, that's a LOT of chapters, so well done guys!!! I appreciate all of the feedback and comments, you guys rock.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Seventeen**

The only sound was Harley crying. Naomi tried to comfort him, bouncing him in her arms as her tears mirrored her sons. Emily watched them, puzzled by their presence, waiting for Naomi to answer her question.

"What's wrong?" she tried again, "Where is Lexie?"

"She's gone," Naomi whispered through her tears, "We had an argument and she just went."

"Went where?" Emily replied, struggling to understand exactly what Naomi was saying.

"I, I, I don't know," Naomi stuttered, "I heard the door and when I checked on her she wasn't there anymore."

Tears filled Emily's eyes as she felt the fear that Naomi was obviously feeling seep through the air, infecting her instantly. She managed to maintain her composure long enough to question her further.

"What are you doing here? Have you called the police? You should be out there looking for her Naomi, why aren't you looking for her?"

"I did, I drove around and I called the police but they said she'll probably come back, that children who run away usually come back. I needed to tell you, I needed you to know."

It was a struggle to watch Naomi falling apart, but it was even harder to watch their son sobbing. Emily tried to think about what to do, how to find Lexie, but her head was filling itself with anger.

"You said you argued, why were you arguing? What the fuck did you say?"

"Don't do this Ems," another voice in the room, Katie; she stood between them, "This isn't Naomi's fault, whatever happened, Lexie's not been okay for a long time."

"She's right," Naomi cried, "Katie's right, I tried my best. I just tried my best."

"Let me take him," Katie requested, reaching out to Harley, "You're too upset, he's picking up on it."

"Th, thanks Katie."

The moment their son was taken, the only barrier between them, Naomi fell into Emily's arms. They stood together, arm in arm, for the first time nothing else mattered but each other. Tears flowed for too long as the couple shared their pain. Eventually Emily pulled away, finding a strength she knew someone had to have. She held Naomi's face in her hands, licking the tears off her lips and wiping Naomi's with her fingers.

"We need to think about this, we need to think about where she's gone. Then we need to call mum and dad and JJ and we need to go and look. We'll look all night if we have to. We're going to find her."

The confidence in her voice barely mirrored the lack of it in her heart. But she didn't let her mask fall as she led Naomi to the sofa and sat her down.

"He's asleep," Katie announced, entering the room, "What are we doing to find Lexie?"

"We're making a list, can you call, call anyone who can help look for her."

"Of course," Katie informed her, pulling her mobile phone out of her pocket and disappearing into the kitchen.

"I can't lose her, I can't lose her like I lost mum, like I lost you."

"You didn't, you didn't lose me and you won't lose her, we're going to find her."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I," she whispered, "I believe, I believe in hope and I believe that, I don't know if the big guy upstairs likes people being gay, but I believe that if he's real, he wouldn't take that little girl away from us."

*

The search lasted all night. Katie stayed with Harley while Jenna went back to the house in case she returned. Everyone else went to the school, the park, even Katie's in search of Lexie. By five am Naomi and Emily were sat on a bench in a park.

"I'm so tired, I don't know how much longer I can do this without sleep," Naomi sighed, resting against her hands.

"I'm tired too," Emily informed her, "But we can't give up, not yet."

"We have been looking for eight hours Emily, eight hours she's been gone. In eight hours she could have gone to London and back."

"But she hasn't," Emily tried to stay confident, "You heard dad, the train stations and the bus station, no one has seen her there. No one let an eight year old girl get on a bus alone."

"Then where is she? Where the fuck has she gone?"

"I don't know," Emily muttered, "Run through it with me, what exactly happened?"

"I told you, I got mad because she had a letter off her teacher and she told me it wasn't her fault and then we argued a bit more and then I left her alone."

"Why did you leave her alone?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore," Naomi sniffed, fresh tears turning to cold drop as they slid down her red cheeks.

"That's just too bad Naomi because anything you're not telling me, we could find her if we just have all the facts."

"I don't want to," Naomi snapped, "You didn't hear what she said to me, what she thinks of me."

"You need to tell me Naomi, even if it's hard, you have to tell me."

"She said, she," Naomi began, choking on tears, "She wishes I was dead, like mum."

It was so hard to repeat the event in her mind, bringing it back to the forefront of her attention. Naomi didn't want to think about it anymore. It hurt too much. But her brain wasn't willing to sit down and stop as she thought of her mum and step-dad and how much she'd failed them.

"The graves," Naomi whispered, her voice growing strong with hope as the thought hit her like a ton of bricks, she pulled herself up and stared at Emily, "Mum and, we have to go to their graves."

"You think she could be there?"

"It's worth a try, we've looked everywhere else, where else could she be?"

"I'll call JJ, let him know where we're headed."

*

The graveyard was empty, stone after stone filled with names and dates; children, parents; people dying young, dying old. It was supposed to be a scary place at night. But all Naomi could think about was finding Lexie. She ran between graves, not caring that she was not on the paths, stepping once or twice on offerings beside other people's graves. Normally she'd have felt bad, but she had a one-thought mind and nothing else mattered.

"Slow down," Emily muttered, chasing after her.

The graves stood side by side and from a distance it looked like there was no one there. Naomi could feel her heartbeat pumping away from the exertion, but her face grew white as her fears returned. She'd wanted her to be there, wished so badly that it wasn't just an okay guess, that it was the right one. Then something moved, a small figure, the moonlight reflecting off a pale head.

"Lexie!" Naomi screamed, her feet moving again, her heart rate increasing as she sped towards the little girl.

All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around her and tell her that everything was going to be okay. She'd missed her so much, though she'd barely been gone for less than nine hours. She reached out and pulled her into her arms, but as she increased the pressure to cradle her, she felt resistance and the little girl pulled away.

"Stop," she shouted, moving away from Naomi.

"Lexie, please," Naomi tried, her heart breaking at the rejection.

Emily kept her distance, watching as Naomi looked broken and confused. Lexie had always looked up to Naomi, had always been so happy to be part of her life. It was difficult to watch her contorted face, so angry, so frustrated.

"Lexie, we're not angry at you," Emily muttered, catching the little girl's attention.

"No," Naomi sobbed, "We just want you to come home."

"I don't want to go home," she shouted, her own face growing red with tears.

"You can't stay out here all night," Emily pointed out, "You can't stay here forever."

"I want to go with you," she replied, staring at Emily.

Naomi turned around and for the first time she caught sight of her estranged wife stood behind her, their eyes locking with strong emotions that Emily couldn't quite decipher. She sensed that Naomi wasn't happy, that she was struggling to accept that Lexie didn't want to be with her. But as she brushed tears from her eyes she nodded her head slightly.

"Okay."

The small blonde haired girl ran into Emily's arms, pushing her face against her stomach, creating a patch of wetness that Emily didn't care much about. She wrapped her arms around her, thankful to have her in her arms. She watched Naomi's reaction and wished she could stop it being so difficult for either of them.

"I'll look after her Naomi, I promise."

*

The house was quiet when she unlocked the door. Harley had stayed at Emily's to avoid waking him from his slumber. Naomi found herself standing in the door of the lounge, where she could make out Jenna Fitch's body lay on the sofa. She wished it didn't hurt so much seeing a Fitch, knowing that her own sister had rejected her in favour of a family that weren't even their blood relatives. She made her way into the kitchen where she boiled the kettle and made herself a cup of coffee. It was almost six in the morning. She was tired, but she'd gone past the need for sleep and instead chose to stay awake. As she sipped the hot liquid, she found herself drifting off, daydreaming about nothing in particular.

*

The bedroom door closed as Emily exited Lexie's bedroom. She'd tried to talk to her, but they were both so tired that it was a losing battle. Lexie wouldn't talk and no matter how much Emily had tried, a conversation was the last thing either of them wanted. She left her hand on the handle of the door, resting her forehead against it. She listened carefully as sobs came from the room. All she wanted to do was go inside and hold the little girl as she cried. Instead Emily sat down, leaning against the door, as she listened to the crying, while a number of tears slid down her cheeks.

**Author Notes: Just so you know, this whole thing is as difficult for me to write as it is for you to read. I love them all as much as you do. Please review, or I might have to spoon feed you Marmite, Vegemite, Promite, whatever mite because I know so many people hate it.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for the reviews, so many good reviews and wonderful comments, I appreciate each and every one of them. I'm enjoying writing this story as I get further and further into it.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Eighteen**

The waiting room was full of pregnant women at various stages. There were a number who looked like they were going to give birth in the middle of the waiting room and a few who didn't have a belly at all. It was a subconscious thing for Katie to run her fingers over her stomach. It was barely swelled, but she didn't care. It was her baby. Her own baby growing inside of her. There was an immense sense of foreboding about the pregnancy; fear that the pregnancy would not work out, that it would result in miscarriage like the last. She thought about William and what joy he'd brought to her life. But how painful it had been to not be able to carry him herself. She looked nervously at Emily with jealousy that she hated to feel. It had always been there, ever since she'd given birth to Katie's son, she'd felt that Emily was better than her in some way for being able to bare what she herself could not.

"Howard really should be here, Katie," her sister told her, the voice of reason and truth.

He _was_ supposed to be by her side. This was something they were supposed to do together. But no matter how many things that were supposed to be, the fact was he wasn't there and he wasn't able to share it with her.

"When are you going to talk to him Katie? You can't pretend this isn't hurting you to keep it from him, I can see right through you."

"When are you going to talk to Lexie?" Katie asked, hiding behind her only defence.

"That's different. Lexie needs a couple of days to cool off, you've had nearly a week away from Howard. As much as I love you and you're welcome to stay with me for as long as you need, you need to go home."

"I don't want to do this right now Ems. After the scan we can talk about it til we're blue in the face, but please can we just make sure the baby is healthy first?"

"Katie Fitch," the receptionist called, interrupting the conversation.

*

The gel felt cold on her stomach. She'd had an ultrasound before to date the last pregnancy. She'd seen the tiny baby on the screen and marvelled in how small and non-baby like it had appeared. It had been an amazing experience. She'd watched as Emily was lay in her position nearly four years ago, watched the screen as her little boy grew from the small blob into what looked like a black and white baby. As the scanner passed across her belly she reached for Emily's hand. It felt small and useless to her. She longed for Howard's rough, manly fingers that completely overtook her own when they joined together. Tears reached her eyes as she regretted not telling him, not letting him share the moment with her.

"There's your baby," the nurse announced.

Katie turned her head to the screen, expecting to have to ask for the woman to have to point out the tiny blob that camouflaged itself in the other black and white shapes in her womb. But a tiny blob was not there.

"Emily," she whispered, clutching her hand tightly, "Do you see it?"

"I see it," Emily replied, looked at her sister with her mouth agape.

The tears that hovered on her eyelids now slid down her cheeks. What she thought was a tiny blob was actually closer to the fully formed baby she remembered from Emily's second trimester scan.

"It looks like you're just past your first trimester, I would date you at about twelve to fourteen weeks."

"How?" Katie asked, glaring at the woman for a split second before looking back to her baby.

The nurse smiled, a small laugh escaping her, "Sometimes pregnancies lack the usual symptoms. No morning sickness?"

"I was ill a couple of months ago but it was over within twenty four hours so I assumed it was one of those bugs."

"No tenderness in your breasts, any menstruation?"

"I, I don't know," she muttered, "I guess I've been really distracted lately."

At least three months. The nurse's words repeated in her mind, sinking in slowly. She'd been petrified of what could have happened between finding out about the pregnancy and the end of the first trimester. She half expected things to go wrong the moment she found out.

"How is it?" she asked, "Is it healthy?"

The nurse took her time in answering, making Katie even more anxious. But the words she spoke were like sweet music on a summers day.

"Your baby is perfectly healthy, a good strong heartbeat, a good size too. Congratulations."

There had been a weight resting on her heart, pushing down her happiness no matter how much she tried to let it surface. The news made her feel like she could breath easy and her heart could finally rest from the strain it had been under.

"It's healthy," she grinned, looking to Emily who was grinning back.

It didn't escape her notice once more how much she missed having Howard there with her. The nurse printed out a picture and burned them a DVD of the scan. As they left the room Katie didn't pay attention to the other women in the waiting area. They could have been eaten by supersonic aliens from some stupid fighting game for all she cared.

"You look like you've been hit by the smiling fairy," Emily chuckled.

"What smiling fairy?"

"The one that comes to visit every time we tickle Harley or Lex," Emily smiled.

"You have a fairy?" Katie asked, struggling to control her laughter.

"What's so funny about that?"

"William gets hit by the laughing goblins."

"Goblins? Really?" Emily doubled over as she laughed.

"Yes, it's a male thing apparently. Howard suggested it."

"But goblins?" Emily gasped for air.

"Hey, you chose fairies, Harley's going to hate you for that one day."

"Maybe he likes fairies."

Katie found herself joining in Emily's laughter, "You are so gay."

Emily took a deep breath as Katie's eyes glazed over and she became distracted by the scan in her hands; their previous conversation easily forgotten.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Tonight," Katie sighed, sliding the scan into her bag.

*

Naomi and Emily met in the entrance hall of the school. Emily sat down while Naomi paced the small space. It was frustrating having to wait for the teacher who had called them in. But it was more so watching Naomi moving constantly.

"Sit down, you're making me tired just watching you."

"This isn't how its supposed to be Emily, Lexie is a good kid. First she keeps that letter from us and now she's been accused of hitting another child. It's not her, its all got to be some sort of misunderstanding."

"Hopefully the violence is, but we can't deny that Lexie is disrupting her class and doing badly in all her lessons."

"Why?" Naomi asked, about to sit down but opting to pace about again, "Why us? Why Lexie?"

The conversation was interrupted as Miss Higgins entered the reception area looking anything but pleased. Naomi stopped pacing and clutched Emily's hand as she stood beside her. It made her jump, the stolen touch sending shockwaves through her body. She was reacting to Naomi's close contact again, no matter how hard she tried to pretend that it meant anything, she knew that Naomi was scared and that was the only reason for it.

"If you'd like to come this way," the teacher directed them, her expression stern and intimidating.

The room they were taken to felt cold and isolated. There was an instant level of tension that made Naomi shiver. It set the tone which contradicted how Naomi imagined the conversation to be. It was supposed to be a fairly happy conversation full of misunderstandings and Naomi and Emily promising to get the bottom of Lexie's behaviour. Instead it started off very differently.

"Lexie has been temporarily excluded."

Neither of them said a word and Naomi could tell by the look on Emily's face that she had expected a more hopeful conversation as well.

"We do not tolerate bullying in this school," the teacher continued.

"Bullying?" Emily asked, "Who said anything about bullying?"

"Miss Campbell, Miss Fitch. I hope you understand the seriousness of this situation. The letter we sent home with Lexie yesterday should have given you an insight into the matter."

"What letter?" Naomi asked, staring at Emily for answers.

"Don't look at me, I asked Lexie if she had any letters from school, I even checked her school bag after the other day. Miss Higgins, Lexie has been having a few problems passing on letters that have been important."

"Oh I see."

The woman looked frustrated and angry. Emily wondered if it was because of Lexie, or because she was making assumptions about their life after Lexie's recent miscommunications.

"Bullying?" Naomi asked, the word finally having meaning in her brain.

"Lexie has been bullying another girl in the class. I understand that she has been making very nasty comments, very inappropriate comments. She has been stealing the girl's lunch and playtime snacks and she has been violently aggressive towards her on three known occasions. The most recent being today when she hit her in the middle of the playground."

Shock didn't even cover it. Emily watched Naomi, trying to figure out how she should react to the news. But Naomi was as emotionless as herself. It was like a nightmare coming true. People always say there's things in life you never expect to happen to you. Emily had always thought it nonsense, until that moment.

"There, there must be some kind of mistake," Emily tried, but the teacher merely shook her head.

"We do not tolerate this kind of behaviour and unless we have a guarantee that Lexie will not continue this behaviour, then we may be forced to permanently exclude her."

"You can't do that," Naomi shouted, standing up and clutching the chair as she shook vigorously.

The teacher barely flinched at Naomi's outburst, didn't even consider a reply as she requested that they take Lexie home and think about the next steps. Emily almost had to drag the two blondes out of the school and despite Naomi's opposition, she sent Lexie to her car.

"I'll see you back at my place," she informed Naomi, not waiting for a response as she climbed into the drivers seat and drove out of the school gates.

*

"In what universe do you think that it is okay to do this Lexie?"

An interjection was what was needed, it was obvious that if Naomi didn't sit down and shut up Lexie probably would have ended up scared for life. But every time Emily opened her mouth to speak, Naomi would shout a lot louder.

"What made you do it? What made you think it was okay to hit that little girl?"

Eventually Emily had to stand in front of her and stare her down to silence her. The blonde had rage in her eyes, such strong rage that Emily knew would do more harm than good. She wanted to speak to Naomi alone, but with Lexie sat across from them, it was their only chance to actually get to the bottom of her behaviour.

"Lexie," Emily tried, her voice calmer, "We're not angry with you."

"Yes we fucking are," Naomi screamed.

"Naomi, stop," Emily snapped, grabbing hold of her arms and forcing her to walk towards the other side of the room.

"She is fucking bullying someone Emily, she can't expect us to be all loving when she's done this."

"The more you shout, the less she's going to talk, so shut your fucking mouth and let me handle this. We need to show we're here for her, not bite each other's heads off; that probably got us into this mess in the first place. Alright?"

Those deep blue eyes looked lost. Emily's words had done the trick, got her to back down, but they'd also knocked something out of her. Emily found herself torn between fixing what she'd just done to Naomi and trying to help the little girl that sat almost lifelessly on the sofa.

"Lexie, we're not angry," Emily tried again, sitting beside her, "But we need to understand why you've been doing some of the things you've done."

"How did this happen?" Naomi gasped from the other side of the room, pulling Emily's attention towards her.

"Naomi," Emily tried, but she just shook her head.

"I'm going to go," she replied, her voice small and weak, "I'm obviously not helping anyone."

It took all of her power not to chase after Naomi. But as Lexie's eyes filled with tears, Emily knew she had to deal with one problem at a time.

"Is this because of the separation? I know it's not been easy."

The shake of Lexie's head confused Emily. It was the only thing she thought was the problem, the one thing she expected to have caused everything that had happened. She'd read about it once, how children deal with divorce and separation. She didn't think for a moment that there could be something else to it.

"Naomi doesn't love me anymore," Lexie sobbed, her words hitting Emily hard.

"Of course she does, Lex, where is this coming from?"

"I told her I wanted her to die, but I don't, I don't want anyone else to die."

"Anyone else?"

"Mummy and daddy died and now everyone thinks I'm weird because I live with lesbians."

It brought tears to Emily's eyes which she fought hard to keep down. She couldn't cry. Not when Lexie needed her to be strong, to be a mother. The last years she'd treated her as a part of her life; as a younger family member who meant a lot. But she'd never really acted in the role that Lexie needed.

"Lexie," Emily tried, but the words fell from her mind the moment they reached her lips.

The little girl disappeared into her bedroom before Emily could react; she expected her to stay there, until she returned with a handful of papers. The top sheet was a picture of Lexie, Naomi, Emily and Harley. It made her smile. The next one wasn't too different, except that it had Katie, Howard, Emily's parents and a few other family members. In a perfect world it would have been a wonderful picture, but the wall between Lexie and Emily's extended family made her feel sad.

"Do you think you're weird because you live with us?" Emily asked, questions about the picture still forming in her thoughts.

"No," Lexie muttered, "But everyone else has a mummy and a daddy."

"I bet not everyone lives with their mummy and their daddy," Emily sighed, "Some will live with just their mummy or just their daddy."

"But everyone has a mummy or a daddy, or both."

There was nothing she could say to argue against what Lexie was saying. It was true. The majority of her classmates had parents who were still alive.

"It's okay to be different," Emily whispered, rubbing her eyes to avoid the tears that were hovering on the surface.

"No it's not," Lexie cried, "They say it's not."

"Who say that?"

"The kids at school."

"Sometimes other kids think it's not okay to be different, but I promise you that it is."

It felt too easy. Emily wished that everything they'd talked about was the only thing upsetting Lexie, but it wasn't. It wasn't that simple. The picture was still in her hand and she stared at it again before placing it on Lexie's knees.

"What does this mean?" she asked, pointing to the wall.

A small shrug was all she would respond with, which wasn't what Emily wanted. She wished it was simple and that Lexie would just spill out everything she was feeling. Eventually she spoke.

"I don't get to see Uncle Howard, or Uncle James or even Grandma and Pop very much anymore," she muttered, referring to Emily's family the only way she knew.

The separation had been difficult, but they'd tried to make custody simple so that Lexie and Harley wouldn't be effected too badly by it. They'd made every effort to ensure that Lexie and Harley were able to spend time with Naomi and Emily, equally. It suddenly occurred to Emily that there was another group of people, a group that Lexie loved just as much as her guardians. But she very rarely saw.

"I'm sorry," Emily whispered, feeling her heart break.

A small sob filled the silence that followed and Emily wrapped her arms around Lexie. She knew that everything wasn't perfect and that the discussion was far from over. But the look in Lexie's eyes; the pain and guilt and anger that made her eight year old eyes look so much older, made Emily cower. The conversation was over, for now.

**Author Notes: No Marmite for any of you! Lol. Unless you want it. Leave a review and I might buy you all a toy, what kind of toy is your choice?!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Such fun suggestions of toys; you may all have one of each of the things everyone suggested. Except for the pink unicorn because there is only one pink unicorn, well two, but Naomi lost the other one. ;-)**

**Thank you all for your reviews, so many wonderful reviews that were enjoyable to read. It really does make writing this story all the more worthwhile because despite the pleasure it gives me just writing it, knowing other people are enjoying it makes it just as pleasureable. I understand there is a little frustration on wanting things to progress a little more with Naomily, rest assured progress is going to be made in one way or another.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Nineteen**

The front door was open when Naomi arrived home. It didn't look like anyone had forced entry appearing as though someone hadn't taken the time to close it fully. For a brief moment Naomi thought she'd forgotten to lock up that morning, but she remembered dropping her keys as she carried Harley to the car. She remembered pushing the key into the lock and checking the handle shortly before departing. At first she took tentative steps into the house, conscious of whoever it was that had unlocked the previously locked door possibly still being there. Before she'd even reached the bottom of the stairs, a banging on the floor above made her jump and she fled the house, her heart racing in fear.

"Emily?" she gasped into her mobile phone minutes later, informing her of what had happened.

When Emily got the call from Naomi, she had been playing a game with JJ. He'd received it off Carol for his recent birthday and though they'd played it several times together, he really wanted to play with someone else, for a change. Emily had found it kind of sweet and enjoyed the game enough to play it a few times.

"Someone is in her house?" JJ questioned.

"I don't know, but the door was open and there was noise upstairs."

"Could it be that Effy has returned to collect something she forgot?" he stated logically.

"She called her to check, she sounded pretty freaked out so I said I'd go around," Emily sighed, lifted her jacket off the sofa.

"Has she called the police because she really should have called them first?"

"I don't know J," Emily muttered, "But she's upset, so I'm going."

Had Naomi called the police? Was there even anyone in the house or was Naomi trying to get her over there without seeming too obvious? The thoughts crossed her mind, laced with a few others for good measure. In truth, she didn't mind going round there, even if it was just some ploy to see her alone.

"Do you want me to come with you? In case you need a mans help."

A small laugh escaped her which she quickly apologised for as JJ looked anything but pleased with her reaction. She tried to tell him she wasn't laughing at him, merely her own thoughts, but he continued to scowl.

"I'll check with Katie that she's okay keeping an eye on the kids and we're good to go."

As it turned out, Naomi had called the police and she wasn't in the slightest bit disappointed that JJ was there with Emily. Which in turn made Emily feel disappointed. Part of her had hoped it would be a stepping stone to what she desperately wanted, but she knew that Naomi still didn't.

"Did they find anyone? Has anything been taken?"

"A carton of milk and a box of cereal," Naomi replied, rolling her eyes.

"What?" JJ asked, bewildered.

"I had a whole box of Frosties in the cupboard and when I opened it to make a cup of tea, they're not there."

"So someone broke into your house to steal cereal?"

What was JJ doing there? It was a thought she knew wasn't really fair, but Naomi was pissed off. It wasn't that a box of cereal was gone, she could replace it. But someone had invaded her privacy and wasted police time. She felt uncomfortable in her own home and for that she was anything but grateful. The only piece of light was that Emily had come so quickly after she'd called her. She didn't even know why she did it, just found herself phoning her first, perhaps out of habit.

"I'm sorry I brought you out here for nothing," Naomi sighed, running a hand through her hair.

"Don't be," Emily replied, a smile on her face, "Will you be okay on your own tonight?"

"I, I don't know," she replied, honestly.

"JJ could probably sleep on your sofa, right J?"

It made Naomi chuckle, but seemed to frustrate JJ, causing her to stop immediately. She reached out a hand to JJ's arm.

"I think I'll be alright, but if I ever do need you," she winked, hoping to make him feel a little better.

It was like college again. He seemed to become flustered and shaky, muttering something about getting married and it not being fair on Carol to be thinking of other people naked. He was getting locked on. So Naomi took a deep breath and tried to distract him.

"Would you like to stay for dinner at least? I was just going to order Chinese but I never order the right amount and end up with a weeks worth of leftover's."

"Don't remind me," Emily giggled, remembering a night barely two years before, "Though the last time I remember you ordering you were pregnant and craving Chicken Chow Mein like it was going out of fashion."

"Don't remind me," Naomi laughed, rolling her eyes in only mild annoyance.

*

It filled them up nicely. But they still had way too much food left over at the end. Emily felt like commenting on it, until she remembered that she had done the ordering this time.

"Another glass of wine?" Naomi offered and JJ accepted happily.

"None for me, I drove so someone needs to watch their intake," Emily replied, watching as JJ drank his freshly filled glass a little quicker than he should have, before putting a hand to his head. Naomi and Emily shared a smile.

"I keep meaning to talk to you about Lexie," Emily stated, killing the fairly comfortable mood as Naomi looked uneasy.

"I don't want to know," she whispered, looking away.

"Yes you do," Emily told her, noticing the pain on her estranged wife's face.

"What happened the other day, it hurt Ems."

The words stopped Emily in mid-thought and she found herself thinking about the look in Naomi's eyes that night. She moved to the other side of the coffee table and sat beside her, pulling her hand into her own.

"Lexie is hurting right now, she didn't mean what she said to you, she's just scared. All these things are happening to her and she's only eight you know, we've been treating her as your sister. Maybe now it's time we start treating her as a daughter."

Naomi's eyes glazed over as she bit her lip, "I don't know if I can handle this."

"You can," Emily told her, holding Naomi's hand still. "We can."

They shared a smile and Emily could feel Naomi's defences breaking down. The blonde was relaxing and it made the whole room feel that little less tense. They were quickly pulled from whatever situation they had found themselves, by JJ hiccupping and laying himself down on the sofa behind him.

"Uh-oh," Emily laughed, prompting a look of utter confusion from Naomi, "When he gets a bit drunk, he usually passes out for several hours. I should probably call Carol, let her know he's not going to be home tonight."

"How many has he even had? Three, four glasses?"

"That ought to do it."

"Lightweight," Naomi smiled.

While Emily called Carol, Naomi removed JJ's shoes and placed a blanket over him to keep him warm.

"Thanks Carol baby," he moaned, somewhere between a drunken stupor and sleep. Naomi rolled her eyes and carried the remaining bottle of wine and glasses into the kitchen.

"He's out like a light," Naomi informed Emily.

"No wonder he never drank in college, Cook would have drunk him under the table every night and we'd have needed a forklift truck to move him."

"Ems, I think Lexie should stay with you, for a while."

She didn't really want to suggest it, or even think it. But when she thought about Lexie and what was best for her, it was the only answer she had. Naomi watched for Emily's reaction to the suggestion and though she nodded in agreement, there was something between them that wasn't being said.

"Is everything okay?"

"Fine," Emily replied, "I should probably go."

"Oh."

She had come over as a favour, that was all. Naomi had to keep telling herself that as Emily picked up her jacket and slid her arms into it.

"I had fun."

"Me too," Naomi replied, her voice barely a whisper.

"Actually I need to ask you something," Emily paused as she slipped her bag onto her shoulder, "I want us to get a divorce, or whatever they call it for civil partnerships."

She put it out there so carelessly that she hadn't even thought about the response she would get. Naomi's eyes grew wide and she could almost see a look of anger surfacing.

"You were right, it's time we move on and until its official, we need this."

It was more to convince herself than Naomi. She wished she didn't have to say it, that they could just kiss and makeup, but it wasn't that easy. Naomi nodded her head but stayed silent. Whether it was a good or bad thing, Emily didn't know, but something had grown between them that hadn't been there just moments before.

"I'll see you soon," Emily muttered, quickly departing the house before she let her heart change its mind.

*

Every morning Katie passed the full length mirror in Emily's hallway. Its height allowed her to look at herself in good light thanks to the window opposite. Normally she would glance in it as she walked by in her pyjamas, but this time as she looked in the direction, she noticed a distinct difference. Her stomach that had barely showed any sign of pregnancy now swelled to a noticeable degree. The swelling longed to be touched and Katie happily obliged as she ran her fingers over her baby. She was lost in thought when Emily appeared in the mirror behind her.

"Look at you!" she gasped, reaching out and sliding her own hand across the stomach.

"Guess it's really happening," she whispered, her voice growing painfully quiet.

"Thinking about Howie?"

"I didn't tell him, how could I do that?" Katie spoke softly.

"You were upset, you needed time away."

"This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of our life, look at me, I'm already showing. How can I go home and tell him without him noticing?"

"There's plenty of ways to hide it," Emily assured her, "But I don't think he'll mind. As soon as he sees you, as soon as he knows, it's going to change everything."

"But what if it doesn't?"

"He might be Howard with a head injury, but he's still Howard and that means something. This baby might be what he needs to get through this."

*

Shouting was the first thing Katie heard as she entered her house. Her name to be exact was being shouted from the lounge. It was a desperate, longing shout that made tears creep into the back of her throat. Howard was sat on the sofa in near enough the same position he'd been in before she'd left. But something wasn't quite the same.

"Katie."

If he didn't look so sorry for himself, so guilty and ashamed and so extremely heartbroken, she wouldn't have known what to do with him. But he did and the moment she saw his eyes filling with tears was the moment she literally fell into his arms, collapsing against him with sobs they shared together. When they finally subsided, which took a while since her hormones had been on autopilot for days, she stared into his eyes as he continued to apologise, trying to beg for forgiveness over something that quite frankly mattered very little to Katie as she found comfort in her husband's arms.

"I need help, I need to fix this because I can't live without you," he cried, sliding his fingers around her cheeks, "I need you."

"I'm here," she assured him, pushing her lips against his passionately, "I'll always be here."

It had been a lonely week and Howard had struggled with every minute of it. He'd been lonely and though it had been very easy to just relax against the sofa and try to deny that things were bad, he found himself thinking of Katie all the time. He missed her, he missed his son and quite frankly, he missed himself too. Katie's touch felt wonderful. To feel her fingers on his face and her lips against his made him shiver with excitement. He wasn't quite ready to make love but he knew it wouldn't be long before he got back the urge to be intimate again.

"I have something to tell you, or more show you," Katie told him, pulling the scan out of her pocket and sliding it under his nose. He looked confused at first before a small, very vague smile crept across his face.

"Is Emily pregnant?" he asked, completely throwing her off as she tried to get the reaction she had hoped from him.

"It's not Emily," Katie assured him, answering carefully every time he suggested one of a number of people they knew well or enough.

In the end Katie just lifted up the jumper that in all honesty was the worst fashion choice she'd made and couldn't help but wonder why her own sister owned such a monstrosity. Then she pulled Howard's hand out to her stomach and let it rest there for a minute, waiting for her enlarged stomach to give away her secret. It took longer than expected. His brow furrowed and he looked bewildered whilst the information sunk in. Katie held her fingers gently against his hand and smiled at him.

"But you, and we," he stuttered, frowning even more.

"I'm at least twelve weeks, this happened before, before everything," she assured him, answering the questions he didn't even ask. "I guess it's a miracle."

There was no smile, no shouts of glee, just two single tears that slid down Howard's cheeks. Katie felt sad, his reaction anything but what she'd hoped for. She pushed a finger against each cheek and slid the tears across his face. A lump formed in her throat.

"This is so, so, fantastic," he muttered, wrapping his arms tighter around his wife's body.

"But you're crying," she responded, completely confused.

"I'm shocked and happy and," he stopped, a smile finally sliding across his face as more tears fell.

"Look at you," she cried, wiping her own tears away, "You're more hormonal than I am."

"Well someone has to get the tears, you just get the moods."

"Hey!" she laughed, hitting his arm playfully before settling into his arms.

He wasn't perfect and he still looked like he had little energy, but his face had an expression that Katie hadn't seen in a long time. He'd been a strange copy of his former self that was hard to recognise behind the changes. But for the first time there was a hint of the old him shining through. It wasn't going to be easy and Katie didn't want to let herself think it would be. But for the first time, there was little doubt in her mind that things would work out.

**Author Notes: Anyone want a bag of chips(crisps to us UK people) or confectionary? Let me know what you'd like...please review. :-)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Of course you can have your crisps jm. Thanks for the reviews guys, such wonderful reviews with comments that always make me feel happy to read. I hope you enjoy this chapter! It kind of took on a life of it's own in the second half of it and well, it became more fun to write than I was expecting.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty**

The thing that Naomi least expected to see when the door to Howard and Katie's house opened, was Katie. Or more the size of her stomach. She moved her eyes back and forth between the stomach and her eyes until Katie reprimanded her.

"Are you gonna stand there looking like a fish all day or are you coming inside?"

"I," she began, but she still couldn't quite find the words she needed, so she just followed her inside.

"I assume you're here to see Howie," she muttered, looking tired.

"Yes."

"He's in the lounge, want a drink?"

The relationship Naomi had with Katie wasn't perfect and after the last time they'd been in the same room together they both knew they still had a long way to go before they became friends. Naomi noted the small gestures that Katie offered, lapped them up thankfully, before parting ways in order to visit with Howard.

"How are you?" she asked, sitting down beside him as he greeted her.

"I'm good, I'm doing better anyway."

"I'm really glad to hear that, I heard that things weren't going well last week."

Howard glanced at his hands. He wished he could explain everything that he felt about what had happened, but he couldn't. The words caught in his throat and made him want to cry. Instead he opted for a simple few words to sum up just how bad he felt.

"I acted in a shameful way."

"You look good," she assured him, smiling at his cleanly shaven face, pushing the conversation along after noticing how much Howard didn't want to talk about the incident.

"I feel like there's hope," he smiled back, "With Katie."

She just happened to walk in the room then, handing Naomi a mug of coffee and placing a cup of orange juice in front of her husband.

"I guess congratulations are in order," Naomi smiled at Katie, offering what she could in way of fixing their fragile friendship.

"Thanks."

"It's a miracle, isn't it babe," Howard smiled, pulling Katie onto his knee and wrapping a hand around her stomach.

"A big surprise too."

The rest of the conversation was slow and faltered. Katie made the odd snide comment which Howard barely recognised as such. Naomi could see the differences in him and felt sad that he wasn't the happy, energetic man she cared about. After only half an hour he made an excuse about feeling tired and left Naomi alone with Katie. Neither of them were thrilled with the idea. But Katie took no pause in saying what had been on her mind since the blonde had walked through the door.

"What are you going to do about my sister?" Katie asked, staring at Naomi until she couldn't pretend the question had been asked any longer.

"There's nothing to do, she wants us to get a divorce, though you probably know more about that than I do."

"I don't,"

"Come on Katie, she talks to you, I know she does."

"She's not doing it because she wants to Naomi, she's doing it because she thinks she has to, to let you move on."

"Oh, well, I guess that's good."

"Oh for fucks sake Naomi, she fucking loves you and it's obvious that you still love her too so stop fucking ignoring how you feel and do something about it."

"I don't, I,"

But Katie wasn't letting her get away with lying. Naomi tried to get the words out, though Katie's staring was distracting her, making her feel guilty for not admitting how she felt.

"I don't want to get hurt again," she admitted, fighting the side of her brain that told her not to believe it was true.

"You do realise she would take it all back if she could."

"I know. I know that she wants me back, that she would love for us to go back to how we were. But how can we when so much has changed?"

"So much has changed, but so much has stayed the same," Katie assured her.

There was some truth in what Katie was saying. She thought about the changes and how much she focused on them when she tried to picture her future and every single one of them hurt. But Emily was still in her life and that hadn't changed, the components of their relationship had, but her presence had not. Neither had her job, or her children or the fact that she missed the side of herself that fought for what was right, or what she believed in.

Her voice shrunk as she whispered, "I don't want to be alone."

"Then don't be."

Katie made it sound so simple, so easily done when it was anything but. It was easy for Katie to look at it from the point of view of an outsider, but she didn't have to live with the pain every single day.

"But I don't want to be with someone who could break my heart again."

"She wont."

"How can you be so sure?" Naomi asked, doubting her own belief in Emily.

"She has paid for what she did every minute of every day since she left you. She knows it was wrong, she knows she hurt you and that's why she wants to divorce you, so that she can let you be happy. Even if it means tearing her own heart in two."

"But,"

"What else is there to say Naomi? It's either you want her, or you don't."

"I do, but,"

"But nothing. You know what your problem is?"

"What?" Naomi asked, rolling her eyes.

"You wont let yourself be happy. She's fucking breaking her heart to make you happy and you won't even repair your own to make her happy. What sort of fucked up world do you live in? Because it sounds pretty simple to me."

She couldn't handle being told what to feel. As much as Naomi wanted to admit that Katie was right, she was struggling to do so. She loved her. Emily loved her back. It was supposed to be simple, it was supposed to be everything she'd wanted the moment she'd forgiven Emily. But she still couldn't bring herself to be happy.

"You don't know anything about this Katie, so for once just keep your fucking self out of it."

It was harsh, but Katie didn't seem too bothered by it. Just had a funny smirk on her face as if to say she knew she was right. Naomi groaned, picked up her bag and muttered a goodbye before walking out of the house. Nobody was going to tell her how to feel, even if they were spot on.

*

Emily was on her mind so much so that she had to plug her mp3 player into her ears in an attempt to drown out the thoughts inside of her own head. Dinner for one was lonely and Naomi realised what life would be like if she didn't let love back into it. She would always share her children with Emily and because of that, they would not always be in her custody. The times where she wasn't with them were looking lonelier the more she tried to ignore what Katie had said. The twisted universe made the phone ring and on the other end of the line was of course Emily.

"I thought we should talk."

"There's nothing to talk about," Naomi muttered, pushing the play button on her mp3 player in the hope she'd be able to return to it shortly.

"There's plenty," Emily stated, not giving in.

It was difficult to understand Naomi's reluctance to discuss anything that was important. They'd spent too many months not communicating and it was not doing anyone any good. She loved her, but that didn't mean she wanted to jump her every time they discussed the future. As painful as it was, Emily just wanted to do the right thing.

"Fine."

"Lexie and I talked again today."

There was silence, deep breathing came from Naomi, "What about?"

"I think she's scared."

"Of what?"

"Of losing the people she cares about. I asked if she wanted to see Howard and she turned white as a sheet," Emily explained with a sigh.

"But he's okay, why would she react like that?"

"Maybe she's pushing the people she loves away to make it easier in case she loses them, like she lost her parents. Or maybe she's just angry because she's lost too many people already, I don't know. But I know she's petrified of loss."

"She said that?"

"She didn't have to."

Suddenly everything made sense. Naomi was the closest thing Lexie had to a mother and instead of embracing that relationship, she'd pushed her away time and again. It had hurt and it still hurt to feel so powerless to her frustration. But it made sense that she was doing it because she was scared that they'd be too close if something ever happened.

"That, she," Naomi tried to say, but the words caught in her throat and Emily barely responded, just muttered an agreement that made Naomi know that Emily understood her.

"I read something on the internet about change and how it effects people, there's been a lot of changes this past year; what with Lexie changing schools and you and me separating, not giving her chance to spend time with other family members, even Howard ending up in hospital. It's a lot to take in within the time frame we've had."

"You're saying she's scared of change now too?" Naomi rolled her eyes, feeling too fragile to want the conversation to continue.

"No, I'm saying that a lot has happened for Lexie to have to cope with. I know we've been trying our best, but I also know I haven't been there as much as I should have been."

"You should probably blame your job for that," Naomi muttered, regretting her snipe instantly.

Emily just ignored her, "I guess we've been pretty selfish."

It took a few minutes, but Naomi eventually agreed. Silence was all she could muster, so much so that she thought Emily had gone, before she heard her breathing on the other end of the phone. The conversation had drawn to a natural close and neither of them knew what to say. Thankfully the decision was taken out of their hands as the lights flickered and cut out, breaking the connection on the cordless phone.

"What the fuck?" Naomi gasped, feeling conscious of the break in the week earlier and wondering just how quickly she was going to be killed by the axe murderer she still imagined was in her house. A torch was in a drawer in the kitchen and after retrieving it, Naomi sent a brief message to Emily explaining that she'd been cut off, before going upstairs to find the fuse box.

The attic had always annoyed her. Plenty of houses had ladders attached that pulled down easily and made the issue of going up there easy. Naomi cursed the person who forgot to include the ladder in her own. She fumbled about in the dark, swearing loudly as she stubbed her toes and almost fell down the stairs with the ladders as she carried it. She set them up underneath the hatch and once at the top, tentatively, she unlatched the door and shined the torch around the small attic room. Upon inspection the light shined against deep blue eyes and a sandy blonde hair that made Naomi jump, her feet landing on the wrong places of the ladder, causing her to slip and fall onto the floor in a heap.

*

Pissed off was an understatement as Naomi came to at the bottom of the ladder. She scrambled about as the person she'd found in her attic hovered over her and she backed away until she hit the wall and she noticed how painful her ankle had become.

"You stay the fuck away from me or I'll call the police," she screamed, holding out her hands in a karate pose, which did nothing but make her feel like an empty threat.

"Naomi, it's okay, it's me," the person muttered, the voice familiar, but Naomi couldn't place it.

"Who the fuck are you? Just leave me the hell alone, I have children."

The voice laughed, but Naomi just felt sick, until the torch came on and she found herself looking into the blue eyes of the youngest Fitch, "James?"

It didn't take him long to get to the fuse box and the lights were returned to their original state. Naomi didn't move from her position against the wall and other than a brief hello, she'd barely exchanged a word with James.

"Sorry about that, guess I must have flipped the switches when I was changing," he apologised, sitting on the floor in front of her.

"Oh really? That was really helpful wasn't it, you fucking moron!"

She was angry and in pain and the mixture of the two made her feel grumpy. She noted the inconsideration of the timing as she was due on any day, so her level of tolerance was already dangerously low.

"I said I was sorry, let me have a look at that for you," he muttered, reaching down to her ankle before she could resist.

"Don't fucking make it worse," she snapped, but let his hands poke and prod it, provoking pain at various points.

"It looks like it's beginning to swell, doesn't feel like it's broken, but it's difficult to tell when there's so many tiny bones in these damn things. Thankfully for you, we just studied ankle injuries at uni, so I do know a thing or two about this."

"Ow," she winced, feeling James' fingers press the most tender part of her foot, "That fucking hurt."

"I think you should go to A&E, just make sure it's not broken."

"Come on then," she snapped, staring at him.

"What?" he asked, looking clueless.

"You fucking broke my ankle so you can fucking fix it. Call a taxi or something and get me to the bloody hospital."

*

As it turned out it was broken in four places, which pissed Naomi off further and turned her face several shades of purple to match her bruised foot. James repeatedly apologised, but his calls seemed to fall on deaf ears.

"You do realise you're going to have to stay with me tonight, don't you?" Naomi sighed, falling against the sofa as James loosened his hold on her.

"I've been in your attic for over a week, what's one more night going to hurt?" he grinned, sitting down beside her.

"You what?"

"Oh, yeah, you didn't know that," he shrugged.

"Did you fucking leave my front door open?" she asked, glaring at him with anger.

"Maybe," he muttered, "Is that the night that JJ guy got drunk and you and Emily were being all lovey dovey until she told you she wanted a divorce?"

"What the fuck are you? Some kind of peeping tom? Makes me glad I don't have a girlfriend at the moment," Naomi gasped.

"I wouldn't have minded that too much," James winked, making Naomi feel repulsed.

"You fucking arse wipe, do you even understand what you have done?"

Hormones. They were stupid things and he'd finally witnessed enough of them to last a lifetime. He remembered what his dad used to say about girls having too many emotions, getting angry or upset at the drop of a hat. James rolled his eyes at Naomi and just shrugged his shoulders, before disappearing into the kitchen, returning with two cans of beer.

"Want one?"

"They just gave me painkillers James, are you trying to fucking kill me off?"

"Oh right, yeah," he grinned, opening a can and taking a swig, "More for me."

"Are you even legal?"

"I'm twenty two, surely you haven't forgotten my twenty-first already?"

Unfortunately for Naomi, she hadn't. It had started off a fairly happy occasion, the Fitch family together. James was noticeably drunk and Naomi was worried about Harley, who was barely born at the time. It would have been an enjoyable night, had she not ended up in a fight with Emily. It was what she considered the start of the end and didn't like to think of it at all, despising the fact that Emily's baby faced brother had brought it up.

"You going to tell me what you're doing here or do I have to play guessing games?" Naomi asked finally, pushing her memories aside in favour of present day.

"So when I went back to uni this year I moved in with my girlfriend because we needed people to live with and it was just easier to get a double room instead of a single one," he began, babbling away, sipping beer in between each sentence.

"And you're telling me this because?"

"I'm getting to it," he mumbled, letting out a loud burp before continuing, "So my girl, she's alright you know, nice girl, great tits."

"Such a gentleman aren't you?" Naomi rolled her eyes, prompting a huge grin off her brother-in-law.

"She wants me to marry her and give her kids," he continued, looking anything but pleased.

Naomi shrugged her shoulders, "Is that a problem?"

"I'm 22 for fucks sake, what would I know about kids?"

It made Naomi laugh, "You're great with your nephews and Lexie just loves you."

The person sat beside her had always been the little scrawny, perverted teenager that belonged to the Fitch family. Over the years they'd gotten along fairly well. But for the first time Naomi noticed just how much he'd changed physically. His hair was cut short and was covered in too much product, his shoulders had grown out and he was at least half a foot taller than she remembered. His eyes looked older and wiser and despite his immature ways, the conversation they were sharing made Naomi wonder just how mature he really was.

"That's different," he pointed out, looking her in the eye, showing doubt.

"How?" she asked, tilting her head sideways.

"They're not mine." he stated, "Besides I love her, but I don't know if I want to fucking marry her."

There were many questions that Naomi wanted to ask, many queries about his relationship that she really wanted to know. Despite the unfortunate way James Fitch had returned to her life, she was glad of the company and for once she actually found herself intrigued by him.

"These painkillers are really knocking me out," Naomi muttered.

"Need help getting upstairs?" he asked, reaching his arms out to her, she just shook her head.

"Think I'll sleep here, though my duvet being brought down would help."

"Your wish is my command," he smiled, returning minutes later with the duvet, her pillow and a book that she kept under her mattress to avoid Lexie asking questions.

"Erotic fiction, eh?" he laughed, flicking through the book before dropping it on her knee. Naomi felt her cheeks flush. "Don't worry, your secrets safe with me."

"There's a spare duvet in the airing cupboard, you can sleep on my bed if you want," Naomi offered, "But don't ruin the sheets."

**Author Notes: What can I offer now? Let me know by reviewing...then you can tell me the answer in the review after. ;-P**


	21. Chapter 21

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, again I appreciate them (though when do I not? lol), enjoy this chapter because the next one will effect you all... :-p**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-One**

"What happened to you?" Emily asked when Naomi opened the front door.

"Broke my ankle, that's why I wanted you to pick the kids up."

"How did you manage that?"

"Why don't you ask your sweet baby brother?"

"James is here?"

"Broke into my house last week and was staying in the attic until he shut off the power and scared me half to death. Now he's sleeping in the spare room, well he did last night but he's at uni now."

"Are you serious?" Emily gasped.

"Do I look like I made this whole thing up?" Naomi retorted.

"Guess not."

"Mama, Harley wants a drink," he grinned, staring up at Naomi.

"You'd better come inside then," she grinned back.

It hadn't escaped Emily's notice just how close Naomi and Harley were. She'd always considered herself to have a good bond with him, despite not being biologically related. But the way he looked at Naomi suggested an even closer bond and Emily wondered if it came when she was on the outside of their lives.

"Lexie's at a friends until six, I was supposed to go back to work after dropping them off, but I guess I'll call them, let them know I'll catch up."

"You don't need to Ems, James said he'd be back in a couple of hours," Naomi assured her.

Emily rolled her eyes, "And you believe him?"

"I don't have a reason not to."

"Mum and dad have been calling me all week asking if I've heard from him, apparently his girlfriend said he'd disappeared and wasn't answering any of her calls." Emily informed her. "You're saying he'll turn up in a couple of hours, she's been waiting eight days."

Naomi shrugged, "He sounds like he just needs some time away from her."

"What do you know about it? You haven't seen him for over a year."

"We talked."

"Oh."

It was a pointless argument and Naomi wondered if it had come about because Emily wanted to argue with her, rather than actual concern over her brother. Emily followed Naomi into the lounge, fussing over her to the point of annoyance.

"I'm fine Emily, really. It's just a break. It'll be healed in a couple of months."

"Crap timing though," Emily muttered. "It's Christmas in three weeks. How are you going to get presents for the kids?"

"There's this new invention that they call the internet, got lots of easy options for Christmas shopping and I don't even have to leave the sofa."

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," Emily mumbled, trying to hide the smile that crept across her face.

"You should probably keep the kids with you until I can move about better," Naomi suggested.

"With me?" Emily asked, making herself sound dumber than she was.

It made her feel uncomfortable. She noted the irony. Barely two months ago Naomi had been trying to keep the children away from her and now she was forcing her to keep them. If things weren't still so messed up, Emily would have made a joke and they'd have laughed. Instead she just felt sorrow.

"Harley's not old enough to do things for himself and well Lexie would probably prefer it this way," Naomi muttered, attempting to appear okay with her decision.

"But that's not fair," Emily sighed. "You deserve to spend as much time with them as I do."

"Well what else do you suggest?"

Emily shook her head. "I don't know, but something else has to be better than this."

"It's okay with me Ems. I know you're trying to do the right thing, but what choice do I have? They come first remember."

"Okay," Emily agreed, despite her reservations. "But I'll bring them round a few times a week so you don't have to miss out. Though I do have a lot of work on."

"You could bring your laptop and work on whatever it is keeping you so busy here so you're there if I need you but you don't have to give up your busy life."

The suggestion was strange. Even when they were together, Naomi had shown little interest in her work and Emily found it strange that Naomi was offering her such a strange arrangement.

"And you'd be okay with that?"

Naomi shrugged, "Like I said, what choice do I have?"

*

The watch on Emily's wrist ticked from five fifty four to five fifty five. She wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but food was on her mind.

"We should probably go soon, the kids need their dinner."

"You could always have dinner here," Naomi suggested, "There isn't much in but we could probably whip up a spag bol or something."

Emily paused, "Erm."

"I'd really like to spend a bit longer with Harley and I haven't even seen Lex yet," Naomi continued.

"Okay. I guess that'd make sense."

"Great, I'll get started," Naomi smiled, pulling herself up off the sofa.

"Hang on Naomi, before you do, I've brought something for you. I know its probably going to cause an argument, but I just figured it would be okay to bring it round."

"What?"

Emily pulled out an envelope from her bag, "Divorce papers."

"Oh."

Naomi looked anything but pleased, her lips shrunk to half their size and she looked ready to hit something.

"Here," Emily handed them to her, trying to avoid looking into those broken eyes. She felt a lump rise in her throat and had to swallow to get rid of it.

"I'll start dinner," Naomi replied, not taking the envelope as she hobbled out of the room on her crutches.

"Need any help?" Emily called after her, dropping the envelope on the coffee table, feeling like the worst person in the world. Naomi refused her help which Emily accepted graciously. But as half an hour passed and Naomi hadn't returned, Emily began to worry.

"Naomi are you okay?"

After a few minutes a small voice responded, "No."

Emily pulled herself up from the sofa and slipped into the kitchen, finding Naomi sat on the floor with a pan spilled out in front of her.

"What happened?" Emily asked, opening the cupboard under the sink and pulling out the kitchen roll that still lived in the same place it always had.

Naomi's eyes grew teary and Emily waited for Naomi to finally break down and admit her feelings about the divorce. But she didn't.

"I'm fucking useless with this thing. Can't even make my kids their dinner."

"It's okay," Emily comforted her with a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be fine."

"Oh yeah real fucking fine, get to spend six weeks alone over Christmas and won't even have a fucking Christmas tree to stare at."

It was heartbreaking to watch Naomi grow upset. All Emily wanted to do was hold her, to tell her that everything would be alright. But she didn't see it her place anymore to do so. She thought about the divorce papers and Naomi's reaction to them. She thought it was what she'd wanted but now she wasn't so sure. She looked into Naomi's eyes and found her staring back.

"It could be better than you expect," Emily sighed, reaching up to hold Naomi's face in her hands. She didn't know why she did it because it was overstepping the mark. But it felt natural. The moment her fingers touched Naomi's cheeks, her almost ex-wife leaned forwards until Emily could feel her breath on her face. It wasn't supposed to happen. Naomi wanted to move on. As much as she wanted to fill the gap and kiss Naomi, Emily knew that in many ways it was the wrong thing to do. Instead she pulled back and began cleaning up the sauce on the floor, turning it into the barrier they both needed to avoid making another mistake.

"Good job I'm here," Emily muttered, scrubbing the floor vigorously with a disintegrating piece of kitchen roll.

Once the mess had been cleaned up Emily helped Naomi to her feet and they sat at the kitchen table in near silence. Naomi wanted to say something, wanted to explain that she was ready to do what Emily wanted. She was ready to give in to her feelings and just be happy. But Emily pulling away confused her. Emily had been the one pushing for a divorce, she'd given up and now Naomi was left broken again.

"Do you really want us to get a divorce?" Emily asked, barely looking her in the eye.

It was her opportunity to let Emily know how she really felt. There was a part of her that was sick of it never happening and wanted to move on, that part of her wanted to say yes. But the fact that Emily was even asking the question showed her doubts which gave Naomi hope. It was her chance to tell Emily that she wanted to be with her, instead she just shook her head.

"Okay," Emily replied, standing up. "I'll get the dinner started."

Without another word the conversation was over, the divorce was off and Naomi was even more confused.

*

Dinner was silent and other than Harley babbling away, Naomi and Emily barely said a word. Instead they shared glances that neither of them would admit to. Eventually the door opened and James came in with Lexie in tow.

"Somebody called for a Lexie to be delivered here, is this the right address?" he called out, Lexie giggling from her position on his back.

"Of course it is," she called out, landing on the floor with a jump.

The smile on her sisters face made Naomi grin. She couldn't believe how much happier she looked and though it hurt that she was having plenty of fun away from her, she was thankful that she seemed happier than she had in weeks.

"Finally, we were beginning to wonder where you'd got to. Did you get any dinner at Kalie's?"

"Only sandwiches which tasted like fish paste, so I didn't eat very much," Lexie admitted.

"How about I get you some spag bol?" Naomi asked before asking James to do it for her.

"What happened?" Lexie asked, looking petrified as she saw the cast on Naomi's leg.

"I fell a little, but I'm okay," she told her, remembering what Emily had told her. "It's only a small thing, like when you fell over in the playground last month."

Lexie didn't look convinced and just stared at Naomi with worried eyes. Emily finished up eating and took Harley into the lounge with James, but not before looking at Naomi as if to tell her that she should talk to her sister.

"Lexie?"

Lexie looked up from her food, the light that had been there minutes before distinguished.

"It's okay to be scared that people will leave you," Naomi began, letting her heart take over. "But I won't be going anywhere."

"But mummy and daddy did."

"I know and it was a horrible thing to happen and it's okay to be upset about it. The thing is, accidents do happen, but they don't happen everyday or all the time."

"But Uncle Howie got into an accident and then you."

"I know it probably feels like there's been a lot of those. I guess what I'm trying to say is I can't promise that it'll be okay because we don't know what happens in the future. But I am here now and I love you. I just want you to be happy."

It was the first time that Naomi had seen Lexie smile, because of something she did, in a long while. It shocked her when the little girl jumped out of her chair and wrapped her arms around her neck. She didn't say anything, just wrapped her own arms around her and held her close. She began to shake and Naomi could feel wet tears hitting her bare skin, but she didn't say anything, just let her cry.

*

A bottle of wine was open and even though they were in the middle of something that had no name, Emily sat down beside Naomi with a smile on her face. James was sipping a beer from the chair opposite.

"James, care to get us one of those?" Emily asked.

"You don't like beer," Naomi stated as James disappeared into the kitchen.

"He knows that," Emily muttered, pouring herself a glass of wine.

"Should you be drinking that when you need to drive the kids home?" Naomi pointed out.

"I was hoping you wouldn't mind me sleeping on the sofa; Harley's flat out and Lexie looked ready to drop when I was up there."

Naomi shrugged, "Supposed so."

"I was thinking about what you said."

"Which bit?"

"About Christmas."

Quite frankly, Naomi didn't care to discuss it much. The thought of it alone was too much for her fragile emotions to deal with and ever since she'd started taking the painkillers for her busted ankle, she'd found herself a little more vulnerable.

"What about it?" Naomi asked, hoping to hurry the conversation to an end as quickly as possible.

"It's not right you spending the day on your own."

"I'll live."

"It's not fair on the children too. Last Christmas was pretty crappy for them, for Lexie anyway. I know you made it a good day, but she told me she wished she could have come to mum and dad's."

"She's gonna be there this year, so what's the problem?" Naomi sighed.

"After everything that's happened we need to make this Christmas special for them. It's Harley's first proper Christmas and it would be wrong not to include you."

Emily had thought about it so much that it was driving her crazy. She hated that Naomi's problem had become a burden on her, but the thought of it not being her problem was even worse. Something had happened that evening and even though it had amounted to nothing, Emily couldn't help but feel that more time together would help.

"I want you to join us at mum and dad's for Christmas, mum and dad have said you'd be welcome and well, I'd like you to come."

"I don't know Ems," Naomi muttered, staring up at the ceiling, "I don't want it to be a feel sorry for Naomi day."

"As if that'd happen, if anything mum will probably make snide comments and dad will try to get you to join the gym to take advantage of his physical therapy programme."

Naomi laughed, "He has a physical therapy programme?"

"Ever since James has been doing sports therapy at uni, he's been trying to find a way to get him to join the family business. I don't have the heart to tell him that James wants to work at a real physical therapy centre."

Naomi shrugged, "I guess if you don't mind then, I'd really like that."

*

Every time Christmas came along Howard thought about snow, he dreamed about a white winter and sledging down the big hill near the high school. It was a new dream, a dream that only came along after William. His childhood had usually involved a winter in Scotland with extended family and all the snow he could ever dream about. It had also involved a real Christmas tree that smelled of pine needles and by Boxing Day, was almost naked except for decorations.

"Next year we'll get a real tree," he told Katie.

"What's wrong with this one?" she asked, pulling the limbs from a box.

"It involves assembling," he stated as if that should be reason enough.

Katie just shrugged, "I've never had a real tree."

"Really?"

He didn't know why he was so surprised, the Fitch's were Christmas people but not in the traditional sense. They usually had an unnaturally white tree and the decorations were colour coordinated with that years wrapping paper. It had been the first thing Howard had noticed on their first Christmas together.

"What's so good about a real one?" Katie asked, looking serious as she considered the option.

"Have you ever smelt a real tree?"

Katie shook her head. There was the pine tree air freshener her dad used to have hanging in his car, but she suspected it wasn't the same. She tried to think back to Christmases at her grandparents but couldn't remember if their trees were real or not.

"The smell is immense, its nothing like you'll ever smell anywhere except at Christmas, or maybe if you were a pine tree farmer."

Katie considered it for a moment. "Let's get one."

She didn't know why she said it, but there was something about the look in Howard's eye that made her know it was the right thing to do. He had a glint that hadn't shown up since before the accident and it excited Katie to know he cared that much about it.

*

There were still two weeks to Christmas which Howard said was a little too long to have a real tree for because they lost their pines so easily, but they went to buy one anyway. It was Sunday and despite his reservations, Howard joined Katie and William at church. He wasn't particularly religious anymore, but he enjoyed the peace of listening to the vicar talk, not having to worry about what he himself was doing. After the service Katie drove them to a local farm which they'd seen signs for advertising their sale of trees. The moment they entered the barn where the trees were, a smell hit them that Katie knew was the one Howard had talked about. It was so familiar that it made her cry. She clung to Howard's fingers and he frowned at her emotion.

"I remember, I remember us having a real tree."

"You do?"

Katie nodded, "Emily and I couldn't have been more than a few years old, definitely not older than William. I remember it smelled just like this. It's so beautiful."

"Don't cry babe," Howard smiled, wiping her tears with his glove covered fingers.

"I can't help it."

They shared a grin and Howard moved his fingers to her stomach, rubbing it gently as he stared into her eyes.

*

The tree took pride of place in the lounge and though Katie insisted on her two colour decorations, Howard won the right to give their tree more of an eclectic feel.

"Where did these decorations come from?" she asked, holding up a red deer without eyes.

"No idea," Howard muttered with a grin.

It took a moment to understand before Katie let out a small laugh, "Very funny."

"My parents usually replaced a few each year and I just took the ones that were left over."

"But they're so old."

"They're old, but they're special."

"Really?" Katie asked, a one legged Father Christmas in her hand.

"Okay so a few of them are beyond repair, but they're not that bad."

The decorations were old, he knew they looked worse for ware. But he desperately wanted to recreated the Christmases he'd had as a child. He couldn't control the weather or what happened at the Fitch house, but he could control the tree and that meant something to him.

"What's this?" William asked, holding up a paper star that looked like it had been through the wash.

"That is a decoration that I made when I was younger."

"Wow, it's really old," William gasped, looking closer.

"When you were a child? It's ancient Howie."

"It was a tradition to use homemade decorations with the bought ones. I'd quite like us to do that too. Will could make up something. You'd like to make us a decoration, wouldn't you boy?"

William nodded his head and Katie rolled her eyes. It was different, it wasn't how she usually spent the run up to Christmas, but she didn't care because it made Howard smile and anything that did that had to be positive.

"William," Katie muttered, holding her arms out. "Come sit on mummy's lap for a minute, we've got something we need to tell you."

"Now?" Howard asked, frowning.

"It feels right," Katie whispered back, Howard just nodded and joined his family.

"You remember when your friend Jerome got a baby sister?"

"His mummy got fat," William stated looking proud of himself for remembering.

"That's right," Howard replied, getting a tap on the arm and a glaring look from Katie. "She wasn't really fat though, she just looked that way because she had a baby growing in her belly."

"Yeah," Katie smiled, her hand subconsciously moving to her swelled stomach. "Well I have a baby growing in my belly, just like Jerome's mummy."

"So I'm getting a baby sister?" he asked, slightly bewildered.

"It might not be a girl, it could be a boy. Either way you'll be a big brother."

"A big brother?" he frowned, looking utterly confused.

"You know how Uncle James is a boy and he's younger than mummy and Auntie Em?" William nodded, "He is mummy's little brother. But because the baby will be younger than you, you're going to be it's big brother. Does that make sense?"

"I think so."

Katie and Howard shared a smile and even though William still looked a little confused, it didn't matter because he understood enough.

"Can I eat the chocolate decorations now?" he asked.

"In a minute," Howard answered, but first I need your help to put the most important decoration on the tree.

"The chocolate ones?"

Howard laughed, "No something even more special. The angel."

Howard handed the little boy the angel and lifted him up, assisting him in placing it in the right place until the tree was complete and the three of them took a step back and admired their work.

"I think this is going to be a really great Christmas," Howard mused, kissing Katie on the head as he held his son in one arm and rested his free hand on the unborn baby.

**Author Notes: Nobody suggested anything, so you all get nothing. :-O Enjoy...and please review. ;-)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Here it is, the chapter you've all been dreading...thanks for the reviews. Oh and jm, vixy884 and I think you should be a member here. :-p And I've also been wondering if you're male or female.  
**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

The kitchen was quiet until James decided to make himself dinner. Emily rubbed her head, pulled from concentration back into reality, much to her annoyance.

"Can you wait 'til I'm gone?" she asked, a little bit frustrated.

"I'm hungry."

"So am I but I can't eat until I've made progress with this report, which I can't work on with people coming in and out every five minutes."

"I just got home," he retorted.

"Yeah well come back in an hour."

"You do realise it's Christmas Eve in two days, why are you working so hard?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Unlike you, I don't get a break. I get Christmas Day and Boxing Day and that's it, so if you don't mind, fuck off!"

"Nice to know you care," James sighed sticking up his middle finger and carrying a box of biscuits out of the room.

"James, wait," Emily called after him, taking a deep breath.

Just because she was his sister didn't mean she had the right to shout or swear at him and just because she was his sister, he had the right to get mad at her unfairly. He stormed back into the room, his tolerance of her frustration painfully thin.

"You've been hanging around here for a week Emily, you can't just get mad when I want to use the kitchen. It's not fair. I'm staying here right now, so I have a right to come in here whenever I want."

"Yeah well maybe you shouldn't be staying here," Emily considered.

"Why the hell not?"

"Naomi," she answered, "You came to Naomi. What about Katie or me or even mum and dad?"

It was difficult to admit that she was upset with her brother for not choosing her. They'd never been very close, in all fairness he did have a better relationship with Naomi. But it still hurt to know that he couldn't come to her when he was having problems.

"Does it really matter?"

"I'm your sister James, I know we don't see eye to eye on everything. But I do care about what happens to you."

James shrugged, "I figured you'd probably tell mum and dad, didn't think Naomi would."

"Tell them what? That you nearly killed Naomi by hiding in the attic? That you broke into our, her house, that you'll talk to her but not your girlfriend?"

"You don't know anything about it Emily, I didn't come to you because I don't like talking to you about this kind of thing. Just get over it."

But Emily wasn't ready to get over it. "I think it's time you moved out, Naomi doesn't need your dramas."

"No but she needs someone to help her out with her ankle."

"That's none of your concern, we'll sort something out."

"We? I thought you and Naomi were separated." James snapped, hitting her exactly where it hurt. "Where's the we in that?"

"You know you really annoy me," Emily snapped, staring at her laptop screen.

"You're annoying me too, but unlike you, I'm not telling you to fuck off."

"Your girlfriend is still calling our parents by the way, think it's time you spoke to her?"

"No."

"God James, you're still that little immature, perverted boy aren't you?" Emily laughed, "You're an adult now. It's time you grow up and start acting like one. Take some responsibility for whatever mistakes you're hiding from."

There was silence. James just stared at the floor as Emily continued to stare at her computer screen. He was scared, for the first time in his life he was really scared and having Emily shout at him wasn't helping. Everything inside his head had been there for weeks and though he wished he could talk about it, he feared what would happen if he did.

"She, she has cancer, my, my girlfriend."

Emily's fingers hovered over the keys, her hands shaking as James' admission sunk in. She looked up at him, shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"Wh, what type? Is she okay?"

"It's, err, Hodgkin's Lymphoma. It's treatable but, I'm, I'm scared."

"Oh James," Emily sighed, walking over to him and wrapping her arms around his body.

"She says the treatment should work and it'll be fine. But what if it's not? What if she isn't okay?"

"Doctors are pretty good at this sort of stuff now," Emily assured him. "If they say she's got a good chance I bet they're right."

"She kept talking about marriage and children, it freaked me out but I stayed because I care about her and know it might come eventually. But when she said that, I just froze. It must be so difficult to be dealing with it. God I'm a horrible person, I've left her to fucking deal with this alone."

"She'll understand."

"What if she doesn't? What if I've lost her?"

Emily pressed a hand against her brothers cheek in comfort, "If she needs anyone right now, it's her family and friends and you. Even if you have been running away, you can make it up to her."

"How am I ever going to do that?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure you'll think of something."

Naomi entered the room then and Emily and James pulled away from each other, sniffling and wiping their eyes.

"What's happened?" Naomi asked, looking concerned.

"I'm going home," James admitted.

"Oh, okay, well if that's what you want."

James shrugged, "It's not really, but it's what I need to do."

He made a quick exit. Emily watched him disappear up the stairs, an aching in her heart. She was pulled from her thoughts by Naomi.

"What's going on? Has something happened? It's not Katie is it? Her and Howie have enough,"

"No, Katie's fine. James's just dealing with a lot right now."

"Oh yeah, he told me about his girlfriend wanting to marry him."

"It's not just that," Emily admitted. "She's got cancer."

"Oh. Well I guess that explains his complete freak out about her wanting to get married."

"He's scared. Which is making me scared."

"He's a Fitch Ems, he's built of strong stuff."

"I must have missed the strong gene," Emily laughed, running a hand through her hair.

Naomi looked at her unconvinced. "Are you kidding? You're as strong as all of them. If not more."

Emily just shrugged her shoulders and changed the subject. "Speaking of strong, do you need me to stay here? 'Til Christmas at least."

"No, I'll be fine."

It was easier to be happy to avoid thinking about the things that made her sad. That was what Emily had decided, no matter how indestructive it was. Things with James bothered her more than she thought they ever would and things with Naomi more so.

"Forget what I just asked." she demanded. "I'm moving in until Christmas."

"And I don't get a say in this?" Naomi asked raising an eyebrow.

Emily shrugged, "You do, but you have to choose the right decision. Besides, Harley should wake up to us all on Christmas morning. I don't want you to miss his face when he sees Santa has visited."

Naomi looked at her with disapproval. "Do we really have to go with the American name? The kid doesn't even know what a dad is, he should at least be able to have Father Christmas."

"Fine," Emily smiled. "So is it okay with you?"

"Would it make any difference if I said no?"

Emily laughed, "Probably not."

"Ems?" Naomi whispered, her voice disintegrating into near silence.

"Yeah?"

"I love," Naomi began to say when Emily's phone began ringing.

"Hold that thought, I've got to take this."

Emily left the room, her mobile stuck to her ear as she argued with someone on the other end. Naomi felt a lump build in her throat which she quickly swallowed. She was about to tell Emily that she loved her but with the disruption, she felt her confidence escape her body and disappear into the atmosphere.

*

The children were in bed, Naomi had managed to shower (with her bin bag covered cast) and the lounge was lit up like Father's Christmas's grotto. The atmosphere in the house had changed and for the first time Naomi was happy to be going back downstairs after saying goodnight to Harley and Lexie. She hobbled into the lounge, upon finding it empty changed her mind and hobbled into the kitchen instead.

"You're not working again?" Naomi asked, staring as Emily typed on her laptop.

"This report is due before the end of the year, I don't really have a choice."

"It's nearly nine, it's Christmas Eve Emily, when are you going to give yourself a break?"

"As soon as I'm done."

Naomi stayed silent but manoeuvred herself to the chair beside Emily's. When she looked towards the laptop, Emily swiftly closed the lid.

"Fine," Naomi sighed, leaning back in her chair. "How much do you need to do?"

"Probably another hour should do it."

"And you say its got to be done by December 31st?"

"Yes. December 31st, two pm."

"How about you spend the hour or so you need on the 27th when Christmas is over?"

Emily took a deep breath and rubbed her temples, "If you don't mind, I'd rather do it now."

The beating of Naomi's heart was so loud that she could have sworn Emily could hear it too. She was nervous and her hands were sweaty. She was happier than she'd been in months and it was obviously because she had Emily in her life, no matter how dysfunctional their current relationship was. It was Christmas and though she'd had a couple of glasses of wine, it was more than an unclear head making her ready to push for something more than they already were. Her fingers brushed Emily's lower arm.

"I do mind," Naomi whispered.

It was unexpected in so many ways. Emily's head was exploding with thoughts, her work was filling up every inch of space she had to think. She hadn't requested confirmation that it was okay, she'd merely expected it to be. Until Naomi had spoken.

"I was going to just finish it," Emily whispered back, her heart racing at Naomi's touch. It was gentle and though it was just fingers on her arm, it was sensual.

"I'd like you to join me for a few glasses of wine, unwind a little, wrap the rest of the presents," Naomi muttered, her lip caught perfectly under her teeth.

Emily's knees began to shake and she wondered just how much work she could get done now. The thought of Naomi looking at her so seductively the only thing on her mind. Emily just nodded her head and closed the laptop fully.

"I'll grab the wine, you remember where the presents are?!" Naomi said, sexual tension rising as Emily watched her hobble out of the room, watching her body move with every step.

Before too long they were up to their elbows in wrapping paper, presents and sticky tape. Somehow Naomi had got tape in her hair which made Emily laugh.

"What's funny?" Naomi asked, sipping on her wine as she cut some more paper.

"You have some tape," Emily muttered, her hand automatically going to her own head.

"Oh," Naomi laughed, reaching to her hair and squinting as it pulled at her roots.

"You got some really good buys," Emily complimented, a stupid grin on her face that made her feel like a teenager.

"So did you, this book, it's perfect. Lexie didn't even put it on her list, but I know she'll love it."

Emily shrugged and poured another glass of wine. "Who's eating the carrot and who's drinking the whisky?"

"Whisky makes me sick you know that," Naomi smiled.

Emily just raised her eyebrows and supped the liquid down, her throat burning as it connected with the spirit. "Didn't it used to be sherry?"

"Didn't our parents just use red wine?" Naomi added, laughing.

"Is this from the same bottle as last year?"

"And the year before and the year before that."

"Why do I do it?" Emily asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Because you'd be cleaning up vomit otherwise."

"No, why does anyone drink it? Could just pour it down the sink."

Naomi raised an eyebrow and thought of the previous years they'd spent together. Wrapping presents into the small hours of the morning and drinking wine until they were drunk enough to fall into bed, the whisky usually making Emily feel horny.

"I think you know why," Naomi winked, looking Emily in the eye for a moment longer than was necessary.

Emily just looked away, her face red as she taped up the last of the presents. "We should clean this mess up, so we can go to bed."

It didn't take long for everything to be put back in its place and the presents to be gathered under the Christmas tree. Naomi stood with her crutches under her arms, a look of desire and want in her eyes. Emily caught a glimpse of her expression and wondered just what was on Naomi's mind. There was a heat in the air that Emily knew was created by bodies because it was actually quite cold with the heating off and her t-shirt wasn't very thick.

"I guess it's bedtime," Naomi muttered, their eyes locking.

"Bedtime," Emily nodded. "Do you need help getting upstairs?"

Naomi nodded though she'd managed it alone earlier in the evening and every night she'd coped by herself. The close contact with Emily sent shockwaves down her spine and as they stumbled up the narrow staircase, she wondered if it was the alcohol or her ankle causing them to be so wobbly or if it was nerves at what could happen next. The bedroom was dark and for some reason neither of them cared to turn on the light. The bed felt comfortable as she lowered herself against the covers, her hand still clutching Emily's as she helped her down. Their hands stayed connected and though Naomi didn't want to let go, she didn't feel Emily letting go either.

"What is this?" Emily whispered, her voice almost non-existent.

"Christmas present," Naomi replied, tugging on Emily's hand, with a confidence she thought she'd lost, which made her tumble against her.

Even though their bodies were so close, Emily's spare hand somehow wedged between their breasts, they didn't move fast. Each action felt like slow motion as Naomi slid her leg around Emily's as if to keep her there. But Emily didn't want to move, just let herself breath deeper and shallower until she could barely feel breath escaping her body. It was all they'd wanted for so long it was as though they were both too scared to make the first move, to jump from lying on top of each other to connecting their passion. It was a natural progression, Emily's lips ached to be touched and it was obvious by the wild look in Naomi's eyes that she was getting desperate. Their heads moved slowly, cautiously and passionately together until Naomi thought she was going to explode with happiness. She pulled her lips away, though was ravenous to continue.

"And we haven't even had sex yet," she moaned, pushing her lips back against Emily's until they'd found the rhythm that was still there, had always been there.

Hands collided with skin, mouths explored places they hadn't been in too long. Their bodies ached for each other, their lips forgotten as other acts became more important. And when it was over, they both felt like they were teenagers smoking weed because the natural high was so immense that nothing else mattered and Naomi wondered if anything else ever would.

**Author Notes: Did I get ya? Did you really think this chapter was going to be angst-ridden and horrible? :-p Please let me know your thoughts because let's face it...I was a little bit mean last chapter. :-p**


	23. Chapter 23

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all very much for the reviews...I apologise again for teasing you all. As you know though there are a few issues not been resolved, so eventually the smut will have to return to 'normal' and when I say normal, I do mean angst. But for now, it's Christmas...**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

A loud bang woke them from their slumber before they could pull apart from the mess that had become their bodies, Lexie and Harley came bounding into the room excitedly.

"Christmas!" Harley shouted, climbing onto the bed with Lexie's help and crawling in between them.

"What's going on?" Lexie asked, looking at them both with curious eyes.

Emily glanced at Naomi, who looked back. They slid out of each others grasp and held the bedcovers carefully around themselves, a guilty expression on their faces.

"Emily was couldn't sleep downstairs because of Father Christmas, so she slept here," Naomi offered, hopeful that Lexie would accept the half-arsed response.

"Is it present time yet?" she smiled back, barely blinking at the covering up of the truth.

Emily rubbed her sleepy eyes, her body exhausted from what she could only assume was the Olympics of get-togethers. Whilst the two children were busy talking and growing too excited to wait for them to put something more decent on, they kept stealing glances at each other that only made them wish they were still in bed and had no children to wake them, for just a few more hours.

"Go wait by the lounge door, we'll be there in a minute," Emily finally answered, aching to kiss Naomi good morning.

Lexie took Harley's hand and led him out of the room, closing the door behind her. Within seconds Naomi's body had connected with Emily's, their lips creating another bound of passion she knew she couldn't explore to it's fullest. But it didn't matter because a little was better than none.

Emily pulled back, "We really need to talk about this."

"I know," Naomi replied, her fingers touching the place where Emily's lips just were. "I'm ready to stop hiding from my feelings, from everything. But can we leave it until tomorrow? It's Christmas, lets just make today special and worry about that tomorrow."

"But," Emily whispered, a level of fear rising up, forcing her eyes to become down turned.

Naomi's fingers came up to her face, stroked under her eyes and with a small kiss on the nose, "I don't want Christmas to end in an argument or disagreement, nothing bad okay. I'm worried that when we start talking, that could happen. So for now lets just enjoy it, as a family."

Emily nodded under her touch, an overwhelming urge of excitement to go back to bed and make love to her all over again. Instead she kissed her gently, a grin plastered on her face. "You do realise I won't be able to resist you all day now?"

Naomi just laughed, "You think it's any easier for me?"

"I've barely had sex in a year, if you discount that 'thing' we had. I don't know for sure but I suspect you have."

Naomi took a deep breath, "I thought we weren't going to talk about it."

"I didn't realise I was, but okay," Emily nodded, sliding a hand around Naomi's body and pushing herself against her, breathing heavily on her neck.

Naomi was addicted. She wanted to stand there forever under Emily's touch, wanted to kiss her, make love to her and do all the things she'd dreamt about between the last time they had sex and that very moment. When Emily pulled away, her breath removed from her skin, her touch escaping the fiery prison that seemed to be between them and it made Naomi almost squeal with disappointment as Emily walked out of the door, a cheeky grin on her face.

"That's teasing!" Naomi sighed, following her.

*

By the time Naomi, Emily and the kids arrived at the elder Fitch's the house was in full Christmas swing. As usual James was sat in the lounge playing computer games whilst Jenna and Rob were in the kitchen working on dinner.

"How's my little grandson?" Rob asked, pulling Harley into the air and spinning him round as he giggled at 'Pop'.

"Harley got cars," he informed him, a grin still plastered on his face.

"That's great little man," Rob continued, greeting the rest of the family in turn. "It's lovely to see you again Naomi, what happened to your ankle?" he smiled, hugging her a little harder than she appreciated.

"Fell off a ladder, broke it in four places," Naomi muttered.

"Ouch," he responded holding up a finger, "You know the gym has just started a psychical therapy programme, we should talk about that."

"Okay," Naomi nodded, trying not to laugh.

"No Howie and Katie yet?" Emily questioned, noticing their absence.

"No love," Jenna announced, putting a lid on a pan before greeting everybody. "She's gone to church, the service started at eleven so she shouldn't be too long."

"Good news about the," Naomi smiled, before Emily swiftly pulled her away.

Being alone with Emily in the hallway made Naomi want to kiss her, push her against the wall until their bodies were fused together as one. She brushed her need aside, the crutches under her arms a barrier to her desire, and continued her previous thought.

"What was that about?" she asked, a little confused by the interruption.

"They don't know," Emily informed her.

"They don't?"

"Not yet."

"They will soon."

"Yes," Emily nodded, "Think Katie wants it that way."

The front door opened pulling the couple from their discussion. It was a gut reaction to pull away from each other, Emily's hand previously tucked around Naomi's arm, supporting her some. Her fingers felt suddenly lonely.

"What's going on here?" Katie questioned, an eyebrow raised.

"I was just informing Naomi that mum and dad don't know about the baby," Emily assured her, sharing a cheeky grin with Naomi.

"Speaking of, how are we going to tell them?" Howard questioned, pulling William into his arms.

"Just watch," Katie informed him, slipping her coat off to reveal a shirt that hugged her stomach and walking through the house towards the kitchen, closely followed by the other family members.

"Katie's here!" Rob called to his wife the moment she appeared in the doorway, then his eyes grew thin and he cocked his head slightly.

Jenna turned away from the carrots she'd been slicing and almost jumped out of her skin, "What in God's name?"

"Happy Christmas!" Katie grinned, her hands resting gently on her enlarged stomach.

"When did this happen?" Rob asked, reaching out and pulling her into his arms.

"How long have you known?" Jenna questioned, taking over from Rob with a welcoming embrace.

"I found out last month, but I'm sixteen weeks now."

"Sixteen weeks? How?"

"Slim chances aren't impossible," she muttered, unable to remove the grin from her lips.

The elder Fitch's exchanged glances before wrapping themselves around their daughter once more. "Congratulations love."

Then they reached out to Howard, congratulating him too and sharing conversation with William about the prospect of being a big brother. Eventually everyone gathered around in the lounge and shared presents, drinks and laughter.

Jenna passed a bottle of wine towards Naomi with an apologetic smile, "We didn't really have time to think of something else."

"It's okay," Naomi muttered, shrugging her shoulders, "I didn't get you anything."

"Didn't expect you to," Jenna smiled, rubbing her shoulder.

Naomi smiled and held up the bottle, "Thanks."

It was the moment Naomi hadn't been looking forward to. She'd bought Howard and Katie a gift because things had changed in recent weeks, but she hadn't expected to be at the Fitch's for Christmas. She felt awkward, despite Jenna's attempt to make her feel less so.

"Fucking hell Katie," James gasped.

"James, don't swear!" she reprimanded. "And what?"

"You're huge."

"I'm pregnant you halfwit," she rolled her eyes.

"I know but I didn't see you from this angle and well, you're massive."

"I'm not that big," she muttered.

"It's good massive, I mean, it's gotta be good with my niece or nephew growing in there," James grinned, placing a hand on her stomach.

Katie slapped it away, "Don't touch."

"Aww, why not?"

"I'm sick of people touching me, I'm not an animal, you can't just touch me without asking."

James moved away a defeated look in his eyes, "Hormones, I get ya."

Howard reached out to Katie's hand, connecting their fingers to stop her from clenching her fist. He could tell she was about to punch her brother and didn't want her to do anything she was going to regret.

"You and blondie still together?" Rob asked, glancing at James.

"Her name is Tali and yes, we're still together," James muttered, looking anything but pleased by the reminder. Emily smiled sympathetically at him.

*

Dinner smelled wonderful. Naomi and Emily sat beside each other and though what they were hadn't been determined yet, Naomi couldn't help slide a hand across her thigh under the table. Emily grinned at her, her cheeks flushed by the motion. It was obvious that she was thinking about sex, which only made Naomi laugh, she squeezed Emily's thigh gently, sliding her fingers further up it.

"Whoa," Emily gasped, shifting in her seat as she glared at Naomi.

"Everything alright love?" Jenna asked.

"F, fine mum, just fine. The wine is going straight to my head," she laughed, sliding Naomi's hand off her thigh, despite her desire to keep it there.

The food was passed around the table, plates were filled high and several conversations were in full swing. Emily watched as Rob told Naomi more information about the therapy programme at the gym and wished she could exchange places with her, to save from the boring conversation.

"How are you doing Howard?" Jenna asked, looking at him with sympathetic eyes.

"I'm okay," he replied, "I've been taking some tablets that have been helping. But Katie, Will and the baby are really pulling me through this."

"That's lovely, isn't that lovely Rob?"

"What's that?"

"Katie and the kids are helping Howard with his recovery."

"Oh yeah, smashing. You gonna give me another grandson then?" Rob grinned at Katie.

"I don't know about that, it's well good having Will, but I'd quite like a girl. Then we'd have one of each."

"I suppose girls ain't so bad, you two turned out alright, didn't ya?" he winked, shovelling a forkful of food into his mouth.

Christmas dinner was usually her favourite meal of the year, but Emily wasn't feeling very hungry. She rested back against her chair and watched her dysfunctional family going about their Christmas routine. It made her happy that Naomi was by her side, particularly since the recent developments. It also made her sad. Her whole family were laughing and joking and enjoying every minute. All Emily could think about was the job offer. Before they'd called off the divorce it had been easy to think the job could be possible. It _was _only year, maybe not even that.

"You okay?" Naomi whispered, resting her hand against the small of Emily's back.

Emily just nodded.

She'd accepted the job offer, even signed the contracts. She'd made her decision. But now the decision wasn't so clear. Emily's family were important to her, sure they annoyed her at times and she wished she could be without them on occasion, but the thought of a Christmas without them was painful. Naomi didn't know and though it was important to tell her, she didn't quite know how to.

*

After dinner the children played together in the lounge while everyone else sat around the television to watch one of the countless films that was repeated. Naomi had sat down beside Emily and instantly regretted it when Rob joined them, causing their sides to be closer together than either of them wanted.

"Anyone want a drink?" James asked, standing up.

"I'll help," Naomi grinned, escaping her place in the middle of a Fitch sandwich.

It was a relief and by the look in Emily's eyes she could tell she was thankful. Two hours on the sofa with Emily and Naomi wasn't sure she'd have coped without dragging Emily upstairs.

"How's your day going?" Naomi asked, struggling to manoeuvre crutches as she opened a bottle of wine whilst James pulled the cap off a bottle of beer.

"Oh you know, I'm an idiot, my girlfriend isn't my girlfriend anymore and I'm keeping things from my family, it's one of those really special Christmases," he rolled his eyes.

"What happened?"

"I went round there after I left yours but she didn't want to know, guess I left it too long."

"And you wanna be with her?"

"Yes, and no, I don't know. I'm so confused. I thought I loved her but then she got sick and," he paused looking to Naomi for a response and when he didn't get it, he continued. "Emily told you didn't she?"

"About her having cancer?" James nodded. "Yes."

He sighed deeply, "Now I don't know if I just want to be with her because she's sick or because I really love her."

"Try something for me," Naomi suggested, taking his hand, "Close your eyes and think about ten years from now." He didn't look so convinced, but did it anyway. "Imagine you're arriving home, wherever home is and you walk through the door. Who's there waiting for you?"

Blue eyes looked back at her, his lids opening with a look of realisation. A slight smile reached his lips and he put the beer down on the counter.

"Thank you!" he gasped, reaching out and kissing her on the cheek.

"What? What did you see?" she asked, curiously.

"That's for me to know and you not to know," he laughed, picking up a set of keys and walking out of the back door.

The film had already started when Naomi returned, regretting her decision to help as she struggled to carry the drinks. She perched herself on the edge of the sofa beside Katie, who pulled her backwards and wrapped an arm around her.

"Where's James?" Howard asked, noticing his absence.

"Think he had to go out," Naomi muttered, accepting popcorn off Emily, with a cheeky grin.

*

The day was long and tiring, but enjoyable all the same. Once the children were in bed, Emily found Naomi in her room, perched on the end of the bed. She looked thoughtful. Emily sat down beside her, slipping an arm around her waist and letting Naomi's head rest against her shoulder.

"Can we talk now?" Emily whispered, playing with a piece of Naomi's hair that hung down against her shoulder.

Naomi pulled away frowning, "It's still Christmas day."

"It's as good as over."

"I didn't have chance to give you your actual Christmas present," Naomi mumbled, sliding her hand against Emily's cheek.

"You got me a present?" Emily questioning.

Naomi nodded, leaning towards her and pushing their lips together, "That's one, I have plenty more awaiting you."

"I see," Emily grinned, licking her lips and moving towards Naomi, their lips colliding in several quick kisses that led to a passionate embrace.

The passion that had been building throughout the day had come to a head. Naomi slid from the bed onto the floor and pulled Emily down with her, wrapping her arms and legs around her.

"You know the bed is a lot more comfortable," Emily smiled.

"I don't care," Naomi moaned, moving kisses across Emily's cheek, down to her neck.

A fumble of hands and feet worked on removing clothes, pulling the material barrier between them away, allowing their skin to join. Naomi's fingers traced every inch of Emily's body, rediscovering the spaces she knew so well, mapping out each place from a mixture of memory and touch. Her lips followed her fingers, pushing their passion to the limit as Emily reacted to her touch, forcing Naomi's skin to collide where she herself wanted to be touched.

"I love you," Emily moaned, kissing back, taking control from Naomi as she rolled her over and rested herself against her.

An urgency built and they were moving faster, their bodies sliding together with such passion. It was difficult to believe it could get better than the night before, but as they reached a high, Naomi found herself crying out Emily's name, digging her fingers into Emily's back with passion.

"I love you too."

**Author Notes: Too cute? Too sickly? I don't know unless you tell me...review button is below. You know it takes a few hours to complete a chapter, but it only takes a few minutes to review it. I shouldn't do all the work... :-p**


	24. Chapter 24

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you everyone for the reviews, I appreciate all your comments and thoughts. So I gave you a couple of really fluffy chapters, unfortunately it really can't last forever. But please enjoy...**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Four**

A chill in the air caught Naomi's body, she fumbled around, her eyes still closed, for the bedcovers. She couldn't find what she looked for so opened her eyes and found them in a ball on the floor. She pulled them back on and wrapped them tightly around her body until she noticed the absence beside her.

"Emily?"

The clock read eleven, it was strange for her to sleep so late when the children were around. They hadn't woken her and there was no sound in the house to signal they were awake. After a few minutes still tucked up in bed to keep warm, Naomi slid into a pair of pyjamas she had on hand. The house was too quiet, the only noise being the creak of the floor boards from the pressure of her crutches.

"Lexie?" she called out, pushing her sister's bedroom door open.

Empty. She followed suit with Harley's room and again found no one there. She quickly used the bathroom after her bowel started screaming it's desire to be emptied before hobbling downstairs. It was void of people. A slight lump in Naomi's throat sent warning signs through her. Not once had Emily been gone after they'd made love and the night before, they'd done plenty of that. It worried her more that the children weren't there either. Naomi wandered towards the lounge stopping as she noticed the shape of a person approaching the front door.

"Where have you been?" she gasped as Emily appeared through the now open door.

"Just dropped the children off at my parents, give us some time alone together," she grinned, un-phased by the situation.

"I thought you'd gone," Naomi gasped, clutching her chest with relief.

"Sorry, I would have been back an hour ago but I thought I should stop by the apartment and pick up a few things."

A smile crept onto Naomi's lips as they moved together in a passionate embrace. Lips locked and though it was the only thing on their mind, their hands were careful not to explore too far.

"I thought I'd lost you again," Naomi mumbled into the end of the kiss.

"You're not going to lose me again," Emily assured her. "But we do have a few things to talk about."

"It's not Christmas anymore," Naomi sighed, wishing she could turn back time to give them more of it before it became complicated.

Emily shook her head, "I'll make some tea and get you some breakfast, go relax in the lounge for a little while."

"Such wonderful service," Naomi grinned. "I think I should keep you around."

*

The little black tea leaves floating around Emily's mug were very interesting from the moment she sat down opposite Naomi. She wanted to sit beside her, to curl up, cuddle and forget about the world for a while, but she knew they couldn't do that any longer.

"What are we?" Naomi asked, breaking through Emily's thoughts.

Emily looked up at Naomi, "What do you mean?"

"We're still married, we still love each other. But are we back to what we were? It doesn't feel right somehow."

"I know," Emily sighed, returning her gaze to the tea.

"This whole thing, it scares me Emily."

The tone of Naomi's voice got to Emily. She could tell that Naomi really meant it, her fears emulating in her words. It took every inch of courage to look back up at Naomi. She wanted to have the conversation about them, to discover who they wanted to be together. But there was something more important that she knew had to be said before they went any further.

"I want to tell you not to be scared," Emily began, locking her eyes with Naomi's. "But there's something I haven't told you."

A look of sheer dread in Naomi's eyes made Emily's heart beat so fast she thought it was going to break. She wanted to move to her, hold her in her arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, but she wasn't so sure it would be.

"I got offered a promotion at work and I accepted it, I signed the contracts a few weeks ago before I even knew things were going to improve between us."

Naomi frowned, before a small smile crept onto her face. "A promotion? That's fantastic."

"It's in America."

The words had slipped out quickly, it was the only way she was ever going to say them without changing her mind. Naomi's eyes looked at her with bewilderment, her features tightening with a look of frustration.

"You're moving to another country?" she asked, her voice painfully small.

"I took it before I knew we'd be together Naomi, I can try and get out of it, but I could end up jobless if I do."

"You want to do it?" Naomi questioned, unconvinced.

"It's," Emily began, "It's a dream job."

The words felt like a death sentence, a final nail being hit into a coffin. Naomi looked petrified and broken and all Emily could do was watch it happen.

"I'll turn it down if you ask me to," she tried, the only thing she could think of to make the situation easier.

A cold draft was hitting Naomi, she couldn't tell where it was coming from, but she wondered if it was her imagination making her think she wasn't warm. There were a million ways she'd expected the conversation with Emily to go and being told that she had to choose whether Emily left or not, wasn't one of them.

"You want me to decide if you leave me or not?" Naomi asked, her voice growing stronger, but still appearing broken.

"I'll stay if you want me to," Emily smiled.

"That's not what you're saying though is it?" Naomi accused. "You want me to decide if you leave."

"I'm trying to do the right thing Naomi."

Anger was building inside of her chest and she couldn't stop it. If she didn't have to reach for her crutches and take an age to get out of the room, she'd have marched out of there within a second. Instead she was forced to stay, forced to continue the conversation that was making her healed heart shake uncontrollably.

"If I tell you to stay, you'll resent me for it," Naomi spat out. "If I tell you to go, we're back to square fucking one."

"I didn't mean to upset you Naomi, I didn't want this to end up in an argument."

"But what else can it end in? You're asking ME to decide your future, do you know how selfish that is?"

Emily didn't look any happier than Naomi felt. If she wasn't so angry, Naomi would have wanted to comfort her and tell her that she still loved her.

"I was trying to do the right thing," Emily tried again, her voice laced with tears.

"The right thing would have been you telling me about this before you fucking decided to take a job that would take you away from our family. What about the children? Did you think of them?"

"Of course I thought of them," Emily snapped. "They're all I thought about. Our relationship was a mess Naomi. Lexie has been bullying people, trying to get my head around that is like trying to understand why Hitler killed so many people. I can't understand how our lives ended up this way and I just want everyone to be happy."

"So you think fucking off halfway across the world is going to make everyone happy?"

"I thought it would give you and the children some stability, some routine."

A long, deep breath escaped Naomi's lips. She could feel her whole body shaking, but she was helpless to stop it. There were only two things on her mind and she couldn't think of a way to fix either of them.

"I don't want this Naomi, I want to be with you. I don't want to fight, I don't want you to be angry. I made this decision before I thought there was any hope left for us."

"Just stop," Naomi muttered, rubbing her temples as a headache hit.

"I want to be with you, please don't doubt that. I love you. I love you so much. That's why I want you to tell me not to go."

"Please, just stop," Naomi tried again, feeling tears build in her eyes.

"Part of me still wants this job, but I really don't want to lose you. When, if I go, I'll be able to set my own hours. If I work half the week non-stop, I can take four days off at a time. I can come home and see you, see the children. It's not like I won't have the money, I can fly back, or I can fly you to me. If I went, it doesn't have to be the end for us."

"Just stop," Naomi yelled, "Just, just shut up Emily, for five minutes. I need to think."

The silence that followed lasted for almost four minutes. Emily stared at her watch, studying the hands as they travelled around the clock face. It was all she could do to stop herself from crying.

"I want you to go," Naomi whispered, her voice calmer than the last time she'd spoken.

"But Naomi, please, we need to talk about this."

She just shook her head. "I need to think about this and I need you to go away for me to do that."

She could feel the happiness of the last thirty-six hours slipping away. Everything Emily thought was going to happen, imagine was going to happen, was slipping out of her brain and flying out into oblivion. Her dreams were shattered and her nightmares were awakening. The walk from the house was the hardest one she'd every had to do. It reminded her of the night she'd told Naomi about the woman from work. At the end there had been no shouting, just Naomi requesting that she leave. It was the walk of shame and as she took each step, Emily could feel her heart beating faster and faster.

*

The apartment was painfully quiet when she arrived home which made her sobs sound even worse. She collapsed onto the sofa, her whole body shaking as tears streamed down her face. She felt like a small child sobbing on her bed, fumbling for cushions to hold, hoping they'd provide much needed comfort, but they didn't. Emily hadn't expected the conversation to go well, but she hadn't expected quite what she got. There was nothing she could do to make herself feel better and for the first time in several years, she could feel herself losing control beyond her ability to pull herself back. Her breathing became faltered and she gasped out breaths and tears that were so well mixed she couldn't tell which was which. It was a struggle, a pain tightened in her chest that was so strong she thought she was going to collapse. She scrabbled across the sofa and reached out to the phone; part of her wanted to call Naomi, but the thought of doing so just made her feel worse.

"Katie?" she gasped into the phone, struggling to speak through choking for breath.

"Ems? Ems what's wrong?" she responded, noticing the struggle instantly.

"Can't," she sobbed, moaning in an attempt to communicate with her sister, where words failed her.

"I'm coming right over," Katie announced, not needing much more to come to her sister's aid.

It hadn't got any easier to breath when Katie knocked on the door. Emily's mind was on overdrive, her thoughts of Naomi and nothing much else. It was too much to handle, too much to deal with and she knew her body was fighting against it. Everything had been so good and now it was the complete opposite, it was a shock to her system. She tried to walk to the door, but her struggle to breath made it even harder to move, which made her fall to the floor. The knocking grew louder, more urgent and her phone began to ring. She crawled along the floor and managed to pull herself up to the handle to open it.

"Emily? Oh God," Katie gasped, watching as Emily collapsed against the door, hyperventilating.

The sight was like deja-vu and for a moment Katie couldn't remember what to do or how to fix what was happening. Eventually she positioned herself on the floor and took Emily's hands in hers, staring deep into her eyes until Emily couldn't help but stare back.

"Ems, you need to breath, you need to remember how to do this."

Emily nodded, "Ye, I."

"Don't speak," Katie told her, resting a hand on Emily's cheek. "Just look at me, just look at me and think about your children."

"Can't," Emily sobbed, her hands sliding to her face, pushing Katie's hand off of it and breaking their eye contact.

"Okay, just look at me, come on Emily," Katie snapped, forcing her hands back onto Emily's cheeks.

It frightened her how bad Emily was. She tried to think of what could have caused her sister to end up in such a state, but her thoughts fell short. Emily's tear stained eyes looked hollow and lifeless and it made her want to cry.

"Please just remember Ems," she cried out, a lump forming in her throat. "Do it for me, for your niece or nephew."

The brown eyes that stared into Emily's were sad, they were growing wet and she knew it was her fault. She had to do it, she had to fight through what she was feeling and manage the pain. It had been a long time since she'd last had to truly fight for her breath, since she'd last struggled so badly.

"For me," Katie repeated, their eyes not moving from one another's.

For a moment Emily's chest continued to tighten and her heart beat faster still. If she didn't know any better she would have suspected a heart attack. But then the pressure loosened and though her breathing was still hard, she could feel her body relaxing some. It took what felt like forever to regain herself, to bring her body back to it's right state and upon noticing the time, realised that it had actually taken her almost an hour to return to her normal self. Katie's fingers were still clutched to her cheeks and her eyes were still dripping with tears, but there was an element of calm that she'd never felt before.

"Do I get to know what's going on?" Katie asked, helping her to the sofa.

"I'm so tired," Emily whispered, her body weakened by her recent attack.

Katie wrapped her arms around her and let her rest against her. "You need to talk about this Emily."

"I will," she mumbled, her eyes closing with the onset of sleep. "Later."

*

There were a number of things in Naomi's life that she'd never been able to control. One was people's ability to come and go and the other more specifically, was Emily. Their relationship had never been perfect, even when things were good. It was sometimes a chore and sometimes it infuriated her. But at the end of the day Naomi loved her and even when she was angry, that didn't change. Even Emily's affair didn't stop her from caring.

"Yes Margaret, I do know what I'm doing," she muttered into the phone. "Thank you, I'll see you Monday."

There were also a number of things in Naomi's life that she didn't like and hadn't for quite some time. She thought about the dead end she'd found herself in. She had no friends, she spent every waking hour either working, at home or with her children. It wasn't how she'd wanted things to end up. She wanted to be surrounded by people who cared about her, she wanted to know she had someone to call if things became too much. She wanted to know that if a film came on at the cinema, she had someone other than Emily to go with. Up until this point Naomi had forgotten what it meant to live. Her broken heart was mended. Those few hours in Emily's arms had done everything they'd needed to make her happy again. Sure she'd got mad at Emily. But she was mad at her for not telling her about it sooner. In all honesty, she was jealous. In the time they'd spent apart Emily had maintained friendships, she'd built a career that she seemed to enjoy more every day and she'd found a way of making her life exciting when Naomi's had fallen into a boring routine.

"Hello?" she muttered, answering the phone.

"Emily had a panic attack."

Guilt hit her hard. It should have been weird that she was the one feeling guilty when she'd not done very much wrong. But she still felt like the most awful person in the world for assisting Emily in becoming a mess. The last time she'd had an attack was years ago, she was supposed to be over them, could handle them but now. Naomi quickly ended the conversation with Katie, hobbled around the house to find her keys and her coat, before calling a taxi.

**Author Notes: Thoughts? Opinions? I'd like to know them...review button is below and it only takes 30 seconds.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you to everyone for your reviews. This chapter is for 3 people - jm (thanks for your message, I completely understand, thanks for all of your support), Vix884 (sometimes in front, sometimes behind, hopefully you'll have read this before ch 26 appears), McIzzieFan (sometimes writing takes over, right?! This is for you. Enjoy it and please tell me what you thought... ;-) )**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Five**

A strand of red hair on top of Emily's head was moving up and down as she breathed against it. It had been a long time since Naomi had watched her sleep, had really paid attention to Emily dozing. If the situation between them hadn't taken a few steps backwards she would have thought only how beautiful Emily was when she slept. Instead she felt guilty that she was asleep in the middle of the day. She reached a finger out to brush the hair back from Emily's mouth, but Katie's voice made her jump back.

"What?"

"I said I made you a coffee."

She forced a smile onto her lips, "Thanks."

"Emily wouldn't tell me what happened," Katie informed her looking to her sister with worry.

"I think I know," Naomi admitted.

Katie's eyes grew wide with a look of realisation, a hand moved from her swelled stomach to her mouth and she stared at Naomi like she was a criminal.

" I knew there was something going on yesterday. You broke her heart didn't you?"

"No," Naomi snapped, wishing she wasn't always seen as the bad guy.

"Then what happened?"

"Yesterday was perfect," she smiled, "We were under all but a name, together."

"How the fuck do you get from together to this?" Katie gasped, shaking her head.

"She told me she's accepted a job in America."

Katie bit her lip, "Right."

"You already knew?" Naomi asked, feeling angry.

"She told me she was thinking about it."

"Well that's fucking fantastic, so I was the last to know."

"I'm the only other person who knows Naomi, get your head out of your own arse for five seconds."

Naomi wasn't the one who had not told the truth, Naomi wasn't the one who had cheated over a year ago, Naomi hadn't been the one to intentionally cause the pain in a long time. Katie just had to get used to that.

"I don't want to argue with you Katie, can we stop with the insults." Katie just nodded. "She asked me to decide whether she should stay or not."

"What is fucking wrong with," Katie snapped, her brain working overtime.

Naomi sighed, "Katie!"

"Not you," she snapped, "My sister, she keeps fucking this whole thing up."

"I got mad and next thing I know you called me and this has happened," Naomi muttered, looking down at Emily's sleeping form.

Katie couldn't seem to listen to her mind, "You better not be here to break her heart."

"What I'm here for," Naomi began, "Is Emily. Whether I break her heart or not is up to me, I'm sure you'll find out what happens from Ems."

"You sound like that Da Vinci guy, speaking all in code."

There was a throbbing in Naomi's head that she knew was the onset of a headache. It was annoying and quite frankly she could have done without it. It was making her irritable, instead she took a deep breath and looked towards her sister-in-law.

"Would you mind giving us some space?"

Katie rolled her eyes, "Whatever, just don't be too horrible."

"Sure, I'll just break half her heart instead her whole heart," Naomi laughed, prompting a slight smile in return from Katie.

*

A number of fingers were touching Emily's. She could feel them, but she couldn't quite figure out where they were coming from. She felt a little light headed and weak, the attack flooding back into her mind with fear and dread.

"Katie?" she gasped, sitting up a little too quickly.

"It's Naomi," a voice answered and tears instantly filled her eyes. "Don't cry, please don't get upset again."

The last few hours were mostly a blur but one thing she did know was that she couldn't handle another panic attack.

"If you're here to tell me it's over you don't have to waste your breath because I don't want to hear it, I understand," Emily sighed, her voice unbroken and unusually calm.

"I'm not here to tell you it's over," Naomi admitted, sliding her hand across Emily's cheek. "I'm here because Katie said you had a panic attack."

"Yeah."

"It's been forever, I hope our argument didn't cause it."

There were two answers to Naomi's question, the right one and the lie. She was momentarily angry at Naomi for making everything harder, but it lasted barely a second as she knew it wasn't fair. She had been the one in the wrong, it was always her.

"No." Emily admitted, finding her own thoughts more dangerous than Naomi's presence. "I did, I have this ability to fuck up when things are finally getting back on track."

Naomi let her lips curl at the edges. "You didn't fuck up."

Naomi's relaxed responses weren't doing anything to settle her worries or fears. It was a lie, she did fuck up and no matter how much Naomi wanted to make her feel better, it wasnt helping.

"If you're just being sympathetic because you feel bad, don't. I'm a big girl Naomi, I can handle rejection."

"Rejection maybe, whatever happened today, not so much," Naomi eyes were sad and regretful, making Emily frown.

"I'm fine," she tried.

"Emily you had an attack for the first time in years, that's not fine."

"It doesn't matter," she assured her, more for her own mind than Naomi's.

"If we're going to be together, it does." Naomi informed her, which only confused her further. "Honesty, you've been asking me to be honest about my feelings, it's time you listened to your own advice."

"I'm fine," Emily snapped, adamantly.

But Naomi wasn't convinced and their knowledge of each other had became a curse. "Emily."

"I am," she shouted.

Naomi just nodded her head. "I'm here because I love you and I want to be with you, job in another country or no. You and me are what matters."

Tears were falling before Emily could stop them, she didn't even know why she was so upset, the sadness just fell from her eyes as a weight pushed against her heart.

"I can't lose you again."

"You're not going to," Naomi muttered.

"But the job."

"Screw the job, we'll be together."

Her own regrets filled her conscious. "I shouldn't have asked you to choose. I'll call the office in the morning and quit."

"No."

"What?"

"Don't quit, if it's your dream job, it's your dream job."

"It is my dream job."

"Then you need to do this."

"But what about us?" Emily mused, "What about what you just said? How can we make it work?"

"I've been busy thinking," Naomi admitted, holding one of Emily's hands between her own.

"About what?"

"About," Naomi paused to breath, "About whether we could come with you."

Words filled Emily's mind, but she couldn't be sure if she'd heard them right.

"What did you just say…?"

"Our life here has changed Emily, at the moment it feels like it's full of bad memories. I hate my job, I hate my life and it's taken you and your promotion for me to see that. I've been miserable for months now and it's not just because we weren't together, it's everything." Naomi spoke, a lump forming in her throat, "Ever since Harley was born it's been a non-stop rollercoaster, it's time we lived a happy life. I think a break from all of the crap would do us all good."

Emily frowned, "Even Lexie?"

"Even Lexie. The kids at school have been horrible and I know she's not been an angel back, but maybe starting fresh in a new place for a while will help her to gain some prospective."

"What about your job?" Emily questioned, bewildered by the sudden change in everything.

"I quit."

"You what?"

"I spoke to Margaret and told her I would be working my notice, then I'm free. So you keeping your job is kind of important, if that's okay?"

"That's more than okay. What about the kids? What if Lexie isn't as interested in this idea as we are? I don't want to uproot her if she doesn't want to go."

"We'll cross that bridge if we come to it. But now I want to do this," Naomi grinned, pressing her lips against Emily's.

It was small, but it was powerful. It was fast, but it was painfully slow. It was everything they wanted and not enough. Emily could feel her voice catch in her throat as she tried to speak.

"That's good," she finally whispered.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "Making you feel better?"

"Much."

The kissing intensified and Emily slid her arms around Naomi's waist, pulling her onto her, pushing her lips against Naomi's neck until she let out a small moan.

"Threes still a lot we need to talk about," Naomi mumbled into kisses.

"I know," Emily replied, continuing to kiss Naomi.

"Like everything we didn't talk about before which is the majority of things we need to discuss."

Emily sighed heavily, her heart rate speeding up for a more positive reason, "Fuck talking, just make love to me," she cried, fumbling her hands across Naomi's top looking for a way in.

"We can't keep doing this," Naomi moaned back, kissing Emily's collar bone and sliding her hands into the waistband of Emily's skirt. "We're going to have to face up to the reality sooner or later."

"We will," Emily muttered, pushing Naomi's hand further between her clothes and skin.

"Later," Naomi finished as Emily pushed against her, sending shockwaves between them, silencing her with a kiss.

*

For the second time in their lives Emily wasn't there when Naomi woke from her doze. It had been a peaceful slumber, the two of them falling asleep still tightly together, their hands in places they didn't normally stay. But the sofa was small and at some point Naomi noticed the absence, pulling her from her sleep.

"Emily?" she gasped, a fear rising inside of her chest.

"I'm making dinner, don't come in here," a voice called from the kitchen and Naomi's heart started to beat at twice the speed.

"Why not?"

"I'm making a special dinner."

"Does it involve sex, and chocolate?" Naomi grinned, sliding her clothes back on.

"No, it involves a table and talking," Emily called back.

"But I want to fuck you," Naomi replied, a huge grin on her face.

Emily appeared at the doorway, "I wanna fuck you too, but if one of us doesn't be assertive, we're going to end up spending forever in bed and then have a huge fight about everything we haven't talked about."

"That's alright with me," Naomi admitted with a cheeky grin.

"You really want to fight?"

"Fighting no, make up sex, yes."

Emily laughed, "Why don't I leave you again for a year the first proper sex after that was better than I remember it ever being."

Naomi frowned looking upset, "I don't find that funny."

"I'm sorry it was just a joke," Emily admitted, guiltily as she moved closer to Naomi.

But Naomi's lips had already curled into a smile. "Just kidding. If the being apart for a year thing didn't have to happen first I'd be all for it. I agree, it was the best we've ever had."

*

"This is great, I thought you were a bad chef?!" Naomi pointed out with a cheeky grin on her face.

"Living alone certainly changed that," Emily stated, wiping her face with a napkin. "Bear it in mind that I can only make three meals."

"At least that means you can cook three nights a week and I can cook the other three," Naomi stated.

"What are we going to do the other day?"

Naomi shrugged, "Get take out."

"You seem to have it all planned out," Emily smiled.

"Not really, only just thought about it."

The conversation brought a huge smile to Emily's face that she wished would never leave. Things were changing and she could feel it. Christmas day was amazing, but a small part of her happiness was reserved for after Naomi knew. With things finally out in the open, she could feel full, complete happiness, uncensored.

"I've missed this," Naomi admitted, pulling Emily from her thoughts.

"Missed what?"

"Everything." Naomi sighed, "Talking to you like this, I wasn't handling things very well before tonight. I know that. After we slept together I should have just told you what it meant to me. But I didn't."

"It's okay, I didn't really tell you either."

"Only because I made it near enough impossible."

"It doesn't matter now." Emily smiled, "All that matters is that we're working through it."

There were lots of things Naomi wanted to tell Emily, but when it came down to it, there was only one thing that she wanted to share.

"You know, I was scared. It actually made me feel physically sick every time I thought of being with you. Not because I didn't want to because I bloody didn't want anything else."

"Then why?" Emily frowned.

"I was scared Ems, I was petrified that we wouldn't work again." Naomi whispered. "I've been alone for so long; without the children, without you, I have nothing else. You are my only family."

Emily looked her in the eye with down turned eyes, "That's my fault."

"No."

"Yes, it is. If Katie had known from the start that I was to blame for the separation, maybe you and her would have still hung out."

"I somehow doubt that, Katie's loyalties are with you and I get that."

"There's Howard too."

"But his loyalties were with Katie."

"I still feel responsible," Emily sighed.

Naomi reached a hand out to Emily's wrist, "Don't. Please. Let's just put the past where it belongs. So we're already married, already have children. This is the first date of our relationship."

"Does that mean no sex?" Emily chuckled.

It was a throw away comment that Emily had only meant as a joke, but when the words had fallen from her lips, they suddenly became more serious. Their relationship had always been a passionate one, built on fire and heat. But when it all broke down, they sometimes struggled with the bits in between.

"I'm not adverse to sex on a first date," Naomi winked, her lip hiding carefully behind her teeth.

"I am," Emily muttered, seriously. Naomi frowned. "Don't look at me like that, or you'll get me saying yes to you."

"You don't want to have sex?"

Emily let her shoulders move in a slight shrug, "I want us to make this right, not rush in with our hearts burning at full speed. I think we need to rebuilt our relationship, not just the fire between us."

Naomi took a long deep breath and let her fingers connect with Emily's, "I can't say I'm not in the mood to spend a week in bed with you. But if that's what we need to do, it's what we need to do."

"A week?" Emily grinned, "How about we set ourselves a challenge? One week, a date every night, no sex."

"A whole week?" Naomi asked, sceptically.

Emily couldn't help but smile, "I know, but let's try it."

"For you, anything."

**Author Notes: The review button takes 5 seconds to press, a review takes 30 seconds to write. Take 35 seconds out of your busy internet schedule, make a writer happy today.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for the reviews. I really enjoyed writing this chapter, well the second half of it. ENJOY! Oh and as McIzzieFan pointed out, Naomily's sex ban kind of puts you all on a sex ban...apologies for that. Hopefully this will make up for it.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Six**

The salad on her plate was barely appetising, it had little dressing and looked a day older than it should have been. If she was actually hungry she would have sent it back. She _was _hungry, but it was a different kind of hunger; a hunger that distracted her so much she struggled to push the thoughts from her mind.

"Emily? Where is your brain?" Katie snapped. "That's well rude not even listening to me when I'm asking how you are."

"Sorry," she smiled. "I'm fine, honestly. The other day was bad but things have changed."

"You are together with Naomi then?"

"Of course," Emily smiled, biting her lip to punish herself for thinking of Naomi, but the thought of Naomi's lip doing something similar just sent her head into a spin.

"Emily?" Katie snapped. "Where do you keep fucking going?"

"Nowhere."

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"You so fucking are. Tell me!"

Emily could feel her cheeks heat up. "If you must know, all I can think about is fucking Naomi."

Katie's eyes closed with regret. "That's just fantastic isn't it. I'm sat here trying to have a conversation with my sister and you're doing, God knows what in your head."

It was funny, it made Emily laugh despite Katie's disapproval. The slight distraction made it easier to handle, her attention diverted for merely seconds.

"We're spending the week dating, no sex. I'm fucking dying."

"You didn't have sex for a year, but you can't handle a week?" Katie questioned.

"I didn't have Naomi then, she's so insatiable. I swear if you had experienced the org,"

The look on Katie's face stopped Emily in mid sentence. She didn't feel like she was overstepping the mark, but Katie obviously did.

"I seriously don't want to know," Katie whispered, pushing her own food away from her.

"I'm sorry," Emily smiled. "You can have a free tmi."

"Unlike you, I don't actually want to share anything that's too much information."

"Okay. I'm still sorry."

"But you and Naomi are okay? What about the job?" Katie questioned.

"We're going to go."

"We?"

"She's coming with me. As long as Lexie's okay with it anyway," Emily grinned.

Katie sighed, "I can't believe it. You're moving so far away."

"It's not forever," Emily assured her.

Since becoming pregnant Katie found herself becoming more emotional over everything. She didn't want to cry and consciously tried to stop tears from coming. But she couldn't help it.

"How long?" she muttered through tears.

"In four months," Emily replied, taking Katie's hand to squeeze.

"I'm gonna be a fucking whale by then, you can't leave before the baby's born."

"I don't have a choice Katie," Emily tried, but she felt just as bad as Katie looked.

"No, you can't. You can't go before," Katie snapped, appearing more than agitated by the news.

"Katie, it's okay. Don't get so worked up. I'll come back and visit when it's born."

"That's not the point," Katie cried. "You have to be there for the birth, I can't do it without you there."

Emily felt her lips curl at the sides, something that escaped Katie's notice. "You will be fine without me. You have Howie."

"I don't want Howie, I want you. You've done it, you know what to expect."

"That doesn't make me an expert," Emily muttered, "Talk to mum. She did it three times if you count us separately."

"No. Emily. It's us it's always us."

"Don't do this Katie," Emily sighed, staring at the poor excuse for food.

"Don't do what? Don't freak out? I can hardly help it."

"No. Don't make me feel guilty for leaving you."

"I'm not."

"You're playing the fucking twin card," Emily snapped. "It's not fair Katie. I can't be there whenever something big happens. I'm not bound to be there."

"I didn't think you were. You fucking twat. I thought you'd want to be there. You always do."

"Yeah well I do want to be there. But I can't. So get used to that. Alright?"

The tension between Emily and her still sobbing sister didn't disappear and though she felt guilty for leaving Katie alone and upset. She had to return to work. It would have been the only thing on her mind had there not been a box sitting on her desk when she got back to the office.

"Anton where did this come from?" she questioned her personal assistant.

"Some blond dropped it off, said to make sure you get it."

Emily frowned and opened the box. Naomi had organised for them to spend an evening in watching a film. Surely that didn't give reason for a present? As she opened it a smile crept on her face the only contents of the box was a card and a single strawberry covered in chocolate.

"See you at seven," she red, the few words leaving her puzzled but happy. It was simple, romantic and it made her forget all about Katie, her mind sending her off into the past, remembering the last time Naomi kissed her collar bone, the last time they'd slept with every possible bit of skin touching.

"Phone call on line three," a voice called, pulling her from her reverie. It was too much. She had to put it out of her mind or she was never going to get anywhere. She picked up her phone and got on with her work.

*

The plan was to leave work early, visit Howard and then go home to plan her outfit. They had only planned to watch a film, but Naomi couldn't help think of her sexiest outfit to tease Emily. When she knocked on the Dixon house there was no answer. Naomi didn't think Howard had gone out, he didn't seem to go anywhere without Katie and she was working.

"Howard?" she called, knocking again.

Inside the house there was a crash and Howard's voice cursed loudly. It worried her. So instead of waiting she checked the handle and opened the door. Howard was in the kitchen, knelt on the floor, cleaning up a broken plate.

"Howie?" she called, not wanting to scare him.

"What?" he called out, a little more aggressively than he would have liked before noticing Naomi stood beside him.

"Is everything okay?" she checked, kneeling beside him to help.

"Don't, I can fucking do this myself."

"Howard," Naomi tried, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"I don't need help Naomi," he assured her, scooping up the mess, "Ow!"

She don't want to pry or step in his way, he looked so adamant to do it himself. The moment he called out she knew he was pushing himself too far.

"Don't do this Howard. I'm not here to make you feel bad, if you need help it's okay to ask for it."

Droplets of blond were falling to the floor making a small red pool. Naomi looked from the bloody mess to Howard's face that was now contorted with anguish. It took all of her energy not to wrap her arms around him and tell him everything was going to be okay.

"I'm here Howard, let me help."

He allowed her to help him up, to run his bleeding fingers under the tap and wrap them in a towel. She then made them a mug of coffee.

"I'm sorry," he muttered, staring into the steaming liquid.

"What for?"

"Biting your head off. I know you were just trying to help," he sighed, hard-heartedly.

"You don't need to apologise to me Howie. But I do want to know what is going on. It sounded like you were doing fine at Christmas."

"I wasn't."

Naomi frowned. Christmas had been great, Howard had appeared much better than he'd been in months. It was a shock to hear that it wasn't as it seemed.

"I made it look like I was fine, but to tell you the truth I was shattered. By the evening I was ready for bed. I tried my best to make it a good Christmas for Katie and for Will. But it was the hardest day I've had so far."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Naomi sighed, rubbing Howard's shoulder to comfort him.

"Katie was so excited, Rob and Jenna were ecstatic about the baby, even you and Emily looked happy. I didn't want to be a burden."

"When are you going to realise that you are not and will never be a burden. We all love you Howard and that means we'll be here through thick and thin."

"It's harder than it looks to admit that you can't cope."

"You could have come to me Howie, you could have tried."

It made him angry and he didn't know why. Naomi was trying to be nice, trying to be there and all he could do was get mad. There were so many things he wanted to say, to explain to Naomi, to Katie. It was just too hard.

"You don't fucking understand."

"Don't swear at me Howard. You're not that kind of person."

"Maybe I am."

"Stop this. I know it's not been easy and you've struggled, but that's no excuse to feel sorry for yourself."

"I feel like I'm only half the person I was," he admitted, his voice broken. "I can't do anything I used to. Katie and I haven't had sex since the accident. I watch her around the house and I feel so useless. She makes me feel useless and I know it's not her fault, it's me. But I can't help it. I still can't even get dressed without needing to take a break halfway through. I don't want to live like this."

The silence was filled with small, quiet sobs. Naomi bit her lips, scared to watch Howard break down, but scared to look away. Things had changed so much in the last week, that Naomi had forgotten to see if anything hadn't changed.

"It takes time Howard," she whispered, moving closer to him, resting her hands on his arms. "You know that."

"Yeah, time." he mocked, unenthused. "How much time?"

"As long as it takes. But if you keep pushing yourself harder than you're ready, you're going to make it take longer."

Howard pressed his hands to his eyes, brushing away his tears. "Katie wants us to go to see my parents over new year, she's even called them and planned everything."

"That sounds like a good plan, a nice break from everything."

"Except that it's not." he rolled his eyes. "I can't sit in a car and travel for hours, it's gonna be hard enough going with her to the scan in the new year."

"Have you told Katie how you feel?"

"I can't Naomi, she's been so excited about everything. She thinks I'm making progress. How do I tell her that this pressure to be better is making it worse?"

She felt sorry for him. It was obvious that he was struggling not only with the consequences of the accident, but also the things surrounding his illness. Katie and Howard had always been a strong couple, they always communicated well and got through anything.

"You need to look after yourself and if that means you get into a disagreement with Katie, then so be it. But she loves you and I know she'd hate to think she was making things worse."

Howard just shook his head, "I don't want to talk about it anymore. Tell me what's new with you, I may not be well but I do know when something is going on between my favourite sisters-in-law."

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "You know something is going on?"

Howard smiled, slightly forced. "The only advantage of feeling like this is it gives me the chance to notice things I don't normally see. Like the looks you and Emily shared on Christmas Day."

"That wasn't supposed to be obvious," Naomi laughed. "We were, I didn't mean for anyone to know then."

"Go on tell me, I could do with some good news."

"Emily and I are officially dating, we're probably going to move to the US for Emily's job as long as Lexie is okay with it."

"Did you just say move to the US?"

"Yes. Emily has a new job, it's not going to be for a few more months but we're going to move."

"Wow."

"Is that good enough news?"

"It's perfect," Howard grinned. "About time you two worked things out."

*

It was quiet downstairs which made Emily wonder just what was going on while she said goodnight to the children. Naomi had been secretive since she'd arrived home. She tried to listen out for anything signalling what was going on but the only thing she could hear was Harley begging for a story.

"Okay," Emily smiled, kissing her son on the forehead. "Once upon a time there were two beautiful princesses who lived next door to each other, their names were Bec and Nicola. They spent all their time together because they were best friends. One day when they started a new school they were hit by cupids arrow. Now cupid liked to hit women who just started the new school because he knew that they were old enough to fall in love with princes all around the kingdom. One day the princesses were invited to a special ball where princes and princesses danced all night long until their feet hurt. The princesses didn't like any of the princes at school but they did like each other very, very much. Some people told them they should only go to the ball with a prince, but they didn't care. They wanted to go together. But then Bec's wicked step-sister found out about the princesses plans and made up a nasty rumour that upset Nicola very much. She thought that Bec didn't care about her as much anymore. In the end Bec went to the ball with her wicked step-sister and two princes, but it didn't seem right. Bec missed Nicola and wished she was there to dance with. In the end Nicola turned up in a beautiful dress that the wicked step-sister said looked more like a Scottish bag pipe and caused a big fight between Bec and the wicked step-sister. But the wicked step-sister wasn't very good at fighting and Bec won. And in front of the whole ball she told her wicked step-sister that she loved Nicola and wanted to be with her. This made the wicked step-sister very sad because she thought she was going to lose Bec's friendship. But Bec told her she wouldn't and the wicked step-sister needed to accept that she wanted to be with Nicola. Nicola watched the whole thing from the side of the ball and quickly told Bec that she wanted to be with her too. So the princesses left the ball together and they all lived happily ever after. The end." by the time the story was over, Harley was fast asleep. "Goodnight little man."

The house was somehow even quieter when Emily reached the bottom step. She looked between the lounge door and the kitchen and upon seeing lights flickering from the gap in the lounge door, she went to see what was going on.

"Naomi?" she began, but she was quickly cut short by the sight in front of her.

"Surprise," Naomi grinned, holding her arms out to the candlelit room.

"Candles?" Emily raised an eyebrow. "We're only watching 'East is East'."

"No we're not," Naomi admitted, taking her hand and pulling her down onto the floor, onto a number of cushions scattered around.

"Then what are we doing?"

A cheeky grin slid across Naomi's face and she knew she had got Emily right where she wanted her. She draped a sheet over the cushions and bit her lip in that way she knew Emily couldn't resist.

"No sex remember," Emily raised another eyebrow.

"No sex," Naomi assured her. "But I am going to give you a massage."

"Really?" Emily questioned.

Naomi's grin was all she needed to know it was true. It was obviously a plan to make her crack and she knew it was a good one. But she didn't want to let Naomi know that she knew. Emily slipped out of her clothes, doing it slowly to savour each moment, her hands brushing against parts of her body she knew Naomi couldn't resist. When she was finally undressed she lay down on the cushions and let Naomi drape another sheet over her.

"Care for some strawberries?" Naomi asked, biting into one in such a seductive manner that Emily could have pounced on her, had she not built up willpower strong enough to push a truck.

"Sure," she accepted, accepting the offer and holding a strawberry on the edge of lip long enough to provoke a reaction from Naomi.

The plan to tease Emily into needing her was working. Unfortunately for Naomi it was making herself desire Emily back. She hadn't thought the evening through and feared the moment she would be running her hands up and down Emily's body, without the desired result.

"Just lay down and relax," Naomi muttered, sliding her hands across Emily's back, feeling her body react to the touch.

"That is so good," Emily moaned, closing her eyes and giving in to Naomi's actions.

It was the hardest thing Naomi had to do, to run her hands around Emily's shoulders and back without letting her fingers travel a little too far in any direction. She longed to slide her fingers up Emily's thigh, or run her lips against Emily's neck, but she knew that if she did Emily would never let her live it down. Eventually Emily redressed and Naomi sat down on the sofa with a glass of wine in her hand.

"That was a nasty trick," Emily mumbled, her face flushed and her body tingling from all the things she didn't get to do.

"I know, I regret every minute of it," Naomi admitted with a long, deep sigh.

Emily's lips curled and she sat down beside Naomi. "Well that's something. I didn't know your could massage."

"I still have a few secrets hidden away, and a very good website." Naomi laughed. "I feel like I should get a Gold medal for not instigating sex."

"What about me? You had your hands all over me, I should get the Gold medal."

Naomi nodded, "How about whoever gives in first has to be the other person's slave for a night?"

"Slave?" Emily asked, "Or sex slave?"

"Whatever the winner wants," Naomi replied, a cheeky grin on her lips.

**Author Notes: I recieved 20 reviews for the last chapter and 409 different readers. That's not even 5% of readers reviewing. Would anyone like to change that please?**


	27. Chapter 27

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you all for your reviews, I know what I said about not many people reviewing may have sounded a little ungrateful - I'm not, I really do appreciate every single review I get. They mean a lot. Enjoy the next chapter.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Since Christmas, Katie had been excited. There were many things she was thankful for and Howard's health was one of them. They'd worked so hard to have a good life and though life had knocked them down, things were finally looking up. The new year was looking more promising with every thought and Katie couldn't wait to start the celebration.

"Howie, I'm back!" she called, entering the kitchen where Howard was making sandwiches. "I thought I said that Will couldn't have anymore sandwiches this week."

Howard sighed. "They're quick."

"Microwave meals are quick, but it doesn't mean they're good for us. Our son is going to be fat if all we feed him is bread and cheese."

"It's just a sandwich Katie," Howard snapped, slicing the bread and sliding the plate onto the table in front of their little boy.

"You know how I feel about it, why are you going against what I asked?"

"Because I'm his dad and contrary to your belief, I do know how to take care of him."

"I'm not saying you don't. But he has had bread almost every meal for two days."

Howard rolled his eyes, he didn't want to fight, but he was sick of Katie's assumptions. "I had Rice Krispies for a month when I was eight. At least he's eating something even if its not what we want him to."

"You are so infuriating Howard," Katie snapped back, walking out of the room in anger.

"Don't go," he sighed, moving towards the door. "You don't need to go."

But she didn't stop. "Just leave me alone Howie."

In the two hours since Katie arrived home, she didn't re-appear. Howard knew he probably should have gone upstairs to see her, but he was tired and needed a break. Arguing only made him feel worse.

"This button you need to press to make the car go and then just turn the wheel," Howard told William as he turned on a racing game.

It wasn't something Katie had ever approved; William playing computer games. But Howard couldn't think of anything else to entertain his son. They'd already done some drawings, played a little football and cleaned out the fish tank. It was enough to wipe Howard out.

"Yeah!" William cried out as he finished a race.

"Good job," Howard smiled, patting his son on the back and starting up the next race. "See if you can beat daddy this time."

The race would have been easy to win, but Howard didn't really care. He just wanted to spend some time with William doing something they could both enjoy.

"What the hell are you doing?" Katie's voice screamed from the door, before she pulled the wheel out of Williams hands.

"Just playing," Howard assured her.

"I was winning Mummy, can I have it back?" William called out, reaching for the wheel.

"No," she snapped. "This thing isn't for children."

"Give him a break Katie, it was just a couple of games."

She rolled her eyes angrily at Howard. "First step car racing, second step punching aliens, third step killing your parents."

"It's hardly going to end up like that, I wouldn't let him play on Alien Force 2056 or anything else like that. I'm not stupid."

"Really?" Katie asked, her hands on her hips and her teeth clenched tightly together. "Because you sure like to act that way today."

There was only so much Howard could take before he had to respond. He turned off the game and returned the controllers to the cabinet under the television, before calmly standing up.

"William, be a good boy and go upstairs until dinner time, mummy and daddy need a chat."

"But I want to play the car game," he moaned.

"Do as daddy says," Katie told him, not taking her eyes off Howard's.

It was growing stressful, which wasn't good, she knew it wasn't good. Somehow that didn't stop her from folding her arms over her stomach, waiting patiently for the argument she knew was about to come.

"Don't you dare second guess me in front of our son twice in one afternoon," Howard demanded.

"And don't you point your fucking finger at me," Katie snapped, grasping his hand and moving it away. "I have asked you many times to never let Will play computer games, I don't want him playing on those things. He should be playing outside, running around."

Howard sighed, "It's dark Katie, unless it hasn't escaped your notice, it's the middle of winter. I'd rather him race cars than get frost bite."

"Stop being so melodramatic Howie, he's a kid, he should do kid things."

"Kids play computer games."

"Not my kid."

"Your kid?" Howard asked. "Last I heard he was my kid too, when did this house become a dictatorship?"

It was getting to him, really bothering him that Katie wasn't giving in. His body was physically exhausted and his mind wasn't far from catching up, which only made him cranky. The last thing he wanted was a heated argument. Lowering himself onto the sofa, Howard rubbed his eyes, closing them, trying to focus on something other than Katie's shouting.

"You can say what you want Howard but we make decisions together, we always have and we always will," Katie noted.

"I can't do this any more," he muttered, his voice growing weary and his legs growing weak.

"You fucking wimp, every time we have a fight lately you sit down and act like a muppet. We're married Howard, unless you've forgotten. We have to talk about things to fucking fix them."

Howard laughed softly, "Talk? This isn't talking, it's shouting."

Howard was right. They'd moved past talking, their argument growing into a full blown fight. Katie didn't want to get so stressed out, didn't want to get so angry at Howie, but sometimes she couldn't help it. She let her knees bend as she sat beside him, resting a hand on his shoulder as she finally looked at him, finally saw how tired he looked and it hurt, really hurt to see that he wasn't coping with their argument. They could argue, they were always very good at having screaming matches when they needed them. Katie even found a slight pleasure in them, knowing that they'd result in such a beautiful moment when they made up. But moments like that weren't present anymore and it really hurt.

"What is it Howard?" she whispered, running a finger along one of the premature wrinkles that lined the edge of his face. The touch of her finger on his cheek seemed to provoke a reaction, a movement in him as his face fell into his hands and he was shaking uncontrollably, sobs making Katie feel guilty for ever shouting at him in the first place.

"I can't do this Katie, I can't fight with you anymore."

*

"I thought Katie and Howard were going to his parents for New Year," Emily considered, her hand brushing Naomi's briefly as they walked side by side.

"They were supposed to, but Howard's not really up to it. I think he's telling Katie tonight."

"But it's New Year tomorrow," Emily noted. "I can't imagine she'll be happy about that, they'll never find other plans this late."

Naomi nodded, forgetting her body's instinct to not do so and sliding her fingers into Emily's. "Hopefully it won't be a problem."

Emily eyed her cautiously. "Is that an illegal move?"

"Just hands," Naomi shrugged, grinning.

The night's sky was lit up by stars; the moon almost perfectly round, reflecting romantically on the river as they walked by. The past couple of days had been difficult, so much so that Naomi had taken two cold showers the moment she'd woken up, through fear of overheating. Holding Emily's hand should have bothered her, but she tried to think about something else, like her fingers getting frostbite in the wintry weather.

"What are we doing for New Years?" Naomi asked, wriggling her fingers to keep the blood flowing.

"I thought we were just going to spend it at home with the kids."

"Yes but if Howard can persuade Katie to stay home and take the kids, like he suggested, then maybe we could do something special," Naomi recommended, bringing their joined fingers up to her mouth and blowing warm breath against them. "Can it be any colder?"

"I know," Emily smiled. "If we're not careful our hands might get stuck like this."

"That wouldn't be so bad," Naomi giggled.

If the night hadn't been so perfect Emily would have suggested running back to the car, but she was too happy walking along with Naomi to care.

*

Somehow Katie always managed to see what she wanted to see and not what was really happening. She didn't know why it was so, but it was just something she'd finally noticed when Howard told her about his struggles. The more she thought about it, the more she realised that she'd seen how tired he'd become. She just chose not to accept it, not to process it enough to realise it was a problem.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"You were so happy," he replied.

"I don't care, you should have told me," Katie tried, sliding a hand across his cheek so that their faces were parallel.

Howard shrugged, "You mean more to me than my health Katie, you know that don't you?"

"I shouldn't, your health is important."

A few tears landed on his lips. "If I have the choice between making you happy and making me better, I choose you every time."

"Well for once in your bloody life don't. If I had to choose happiness or you being healthy, I'd want you to be healthy."

It made him laugh, not just smile, but laugh so hard that he almost doubled over. It was strange that something so simple should provoke such a reaction and it seemed to confuse Katie, who just stared at him.

"We're so busy thinking about each other that we're not thinking about ourselves," Howard finally spoke.

"And that's funny?" Katie asked, sceptically.

"It is."

"You are weird Howie."

"I am, but you love me for it," he grinned, wrapping his arms around Katie's body.

Almost three months with a lack of intimate moments made Howard's touch all the more significant. A tingling sensation passed through Katie's body and she found a new level of passion building inside. She remembered an episode of Friends where a pregnant Rachel wanted sex at all costs and she wondered just how factually true it was for an expectant mother to feel so passionate. It didn't matter too much because she knew what she felt and what she wanted.

"I want to make love to you Howard," she whispered, breathing deeply against his ears, before planting a number of small kisses on his neck. "I want you."

Only a few times had Howard ever rejected her offer of sex and unfortunately for Katie, he pulled away, letting his hands slide to her shoulders to keep her back.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, breathing heavily at his own frustration.

"You don't want me?" Katie asked, her hormones causing trouble in her mind.

"I do, God, I want you so badly," he assured her, his hands pulling her face closer. "But I am so tired, I don't think I have the energy right now."

"You don't need to do anything," Katie smiled, kissing him deeply.

He pulled away again. "I want to remember and enjoy and make you enjoy every second of it Katie, please can we wait."

Biting her lip was the only way to stop herself from crying, "Okay."

"You're upset," Howard noticed, wiping her wet eyes.

"I just wanted to so much."

He slid his arms around her body and held her tightly, "I know."

*

The house was quiet when Naomi and Emily arrived home. James was sat in the lounge watching the football and sipping on a beer.

"Where did you get that from?" Emily asked, taking the remote and sitting down beside him.

"I brought it with me, since you never have any."

"We don't drink it."

"Could at least get some for me," he smiled.

"How are things? We didn't get to talk before."

"They're good," he muttered.

"And Tali?"

James just shook his head. "They'll be even better in the New Year, if you'd just stop asking me questions."

"I'm showing an interest," Emily informed him.

"Ask me again when we have dinner with mum and dad next week," he told her, finishing off his beer and taking the remote back off Emily.

"If you hadn't just done us a favour, I'd be throwing you out about now," she laughed, patting him on the shoulder and going in search of Naomi.

Once James had left Emily and Naomi sat down together with a glass of wine. It was nice to be sat together without the possibility of something more. Emily couldn't help think about all the questions she'd had over the last few months and though it was a tentative question, she asked it anyway.

"How many were there?"

"How many what?" Naomi asked, playing with a stray piece of Emily's hair.

"How many other women were there when we were separated?"

The regret in Naomi's eyes spoke volumes, but it was still something Emily wanted to know. She tried to tell her that it didn't matter, that she just wanted to know so they could put it behind them, but Naomi was still cautious.

"Four."

A mouthful of wine tried to go down the wrong part of Emily's throat and she found herself spluttering, "Oh."

"I told you, you didn't want to know."

She righted herself and shook her head, "I do. I do. I'm sorry."

"No, I am. They didn't mean anything to me Emily, if that's what you're thinking. I didn't just, you know, it wasn't just about sex."

"But you did have sex with them all?" Emily checked, for a moment wishing she hadn't brought it up.

"I did. I did it for, I wanted comfort and friendship and not to be alone."

It made her love Emily more each second as Emily reacted calmly to her revelation. It had been the only thing left hanging between them and now it was out in the open. Thankfully for Naomi, Emily took it on the chin.

"You can be mad at me if you want," Naomi told her.

There was a long moment where Emily didn't say a thing, before her voice finally came out quieter than she'd hoped. "I'm not mad."

"You can be."

"I don't want to be. I asked, I wanted to know."

A small smile crept across Emily's lips, it wasn't completely real, but it was real enough. She didn't want to feel sad about it, she didn't want to feel anything, she just wanted to be with Naomi and put the past where it belonged.

"I wish we could sleep together tonight," Emily sighed, honestly.

"Would that really be the best thing right now?" Naomi asked, resting a couple of fingers on Emily's cheek.

Emily shook her head, "Probably not."

"And you'd lose the bet."

A firm grin forced itself onto Emily's lips, "I would."

"That wouldn't be so bad though," Naomi winked, kissing her lightly on the nose.

"Kissing? Surely that's not allowed," Emily noted.

"Who says? No sex, that was the rule."

The two girls stared into each other's eyes, sharing a smile as the gap between their lips closed and their mouths connected in a passionate embrace. It was difficult not to start ripping each other's clothes off, but it didn't matter. They were too happy to be kissing, to be making out like teenagers before sex and alcohol got involved, fighting their desire to take things that little bit further.

**Author Notes: What halloween costumes would you like me to buy you for reviewing? :-p**


	28. Chapter 28

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: HAPPY NEW YEAR! Skins style. Thanks for all of your reviews...and enjoy.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Eight**

Naomi was staring at her, waiting patiently for her to get out of the car and take the kids into the house. But Emily couldn't do it. She wanted to, really desperately wanted to speak to Katie, though was scared that Katie would just close the door in her face.

"Are we going to welcome the new year from this car?" Naomi laughed, turning off the radio.

Emily gripped the wheel tighter, "I can't do it."

"Okay," Naomi replied, unbuckling her seatbelt and climbing out of the car.

It made things more complicated that Naomi had to do it and it made Emily feel bad. She had two perfectly fine legs that would have got the job done easier; Naomi still had a broken ankle. The street was mostly dark, but Emily watched from the drivers seat, hoping to catch sight of her sister. It seemed that Katie had probably thought the same as Emily when Howard answered the door, with Katie nowhere to be seen.

"She wasn't there?" Emily asked when Naomi closed the door.

"I think she was cooking dinner, I could hear her talking to William about pizza."

They didn't really talk again after that, just stayed in a comfortable silence as Emily pulled out onto the main road and drove them across town. The apartment building looked cold and uninviting when Emily pulled into her parking space. It was a building that Emily had never really liked, she didn't even know why she'd chosen to buy there. Thankfully it didn't matter so much anymore.

"When we get upstairs I want you to go and have your shower while I heat up the dinner," Naomi ordered, smiling.

"Are you ever going to tell me why we're spending New Years here?" Emily sighed, more frustrated by the problems with Katie than she wanted to be.

Naomi's finger slid through her hair, her palm resting on her cheek. "Go and relax, we can talk about it later."

The hot water ran down her body with such force, exploring every nook and cranny of her body. The flow of water felt good, the steam relaxing her instantly. Showers were lonely places and though Emily wished Naomi could have been in there with her to keep her company, it was nice to have a place to process her thoughts without pressure. Things with Katie were bothering her more than she'd expected, she thought she was happy for her. The sound of Naomi shouting her pulled her from her thoughts and she consciously decided to push it aside and forget about her sister for just one night.

*

There hadn't been a plan for new year. The option of staying with Howard's parents was now not possible and Howard had put it upon himself to offer babysitting to the happy couple. Katie was still angry with Emily, which made her less enthusiastic about the plan. Howard had rightly pointed out that they deserved some time together without the children and justified it with the fact that he wouldn't handle a night out. There wasn't really any other choice.

"Now the cheese," Katie informed William who picked up a handful of grated cheese and dropped it messily onto the empty pizza base.

"Now can I put on the ham?" he asked.

"You can't have a pizza with that little cheese on," she pointed out, picking up a couple of handfuls and getting William to copy her. They covered the tomato sauce with cheese.

"Now?" William asked, a huge grin spread across his face.

It made Katie smile, "Yes."

The pizza didn't take long to finish and when it had been placed in the oven, Howard had answered the door and Lexie came into the kitchen with Harley in tow. Katie pulled out a second pizza base and got Lexie and Harley to make one for themselves.

"When are you going to have the baby?" Lexie questioned when the second pizza was finally in the oven.

Katie sat down at the table, "I'm just over eighteen weeks, which means I'm not far off five months. So I have about four months left."

"That's ages," Lexie shrugged.

"Right now," Katie informed her, holding her hands out, "The baby is only about this big."

"Really? It's tiny."

"It's my little brother or sister," William grinned. "But I don't really know what that is."

Lexie laughed, "I'm Naomi's little sister."

"But you're little and she's an adult," William frowned.

It made Katie laugh that Lexie was trying to help William understand and only seemed to confuse him further.

"What time is bed time?" Lexie asked Katie, who was checking on the pizzas.

Katie closed the oven and stood up, "Well tonight's special, so if you want you can stay up until midnight if you want."

"Will Naomi not mind?"

"No, it's okay, I spoke to her about it and she said it's okay."

"I want to stay up 'til midnight," William shouted.

"Unfortunately for you Will, you're still a little bit too young, normal bed time for you."

William folded his arms and stuck out his bottom lip, "No fair."

*

The night was almost over, the clocks were only minutes from midnight. Emily still hadn't got an answer on why Naomi had brought her to her apartment for the evening. In fact the night was no different to many before; they sat in the lounge drinking a couple of bottles of wine and watching television. Two men were singing, performing for crowds who watched from the edges of the River Thames. The London Eye lit up in all its glory and a group of celebrities were discussing resolutions from one of the pods.

"I wish we were there right now," Emily mused, sipping her wine.

"Do you want to rub shoulders with the stars?" Naomi laughed.

"They look like they're having more fun," she continued, then after realising what she'd said sat up and turned to face Naomi. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that."

Naomi just bit her lip, "Yes you did. This night isn't thrilling I know."

Emily bowed her head, regretfully. Naomi had tried and it was nice to spend the night alone together. That was no reason for Emily to suggest it wasn't fun.

"I was hoping the evening would go quicker," Naomi admitted. "The best bit isn't happening for another two minutes."

"Two minutes is midnight," Emily noted, putting her glass down on the table and refilling it.

Then Naomi stood up and refilled her own glass, which she carried across the room. She signalled for Emily to follow her and lifted a blanket from the back of the chair before opening the doors that led onto the balcony.

"It's freezing out here," Emily pointed out the moment the cold breeze hit her.

"That's what this is for," Naomi replied, sliding the blanket around their shoulders and leaning against the barrier.

"The moon is in a good place," Emily mused, sliding an arm around Naomi's waist and pulling in closer.

Naomi glanced at her watch, "It's almost time."

Eventually the hands of the watch ticked around and the final few seconds of the year had arrived. Naomi began counting and Emily joined in. It seemed strange to be doing it alone, just the two of them together saying it into the darkness outside. Before either of them could wish each other a happy new year the sky in front of them lit up with colours and explosions.

"Wow," Emily gasped, then noticed the knowing smile on Naomi's face. "You knew this was going to happen?"

"I did. I was going to take us down by the river where they're doing the show but when I looked on Google maps to see where it was I realised it was right here. This side of the building has a…"

"Perfect view," Emily finished.

It made Naomi's smile increase in size. It had happened perfectly and there was no doubt that she'd made the right decision.

"I love you," Naomi whispered, her voice quiet and careful.

Emily turned and let her lip curl under her teeth, "I love you too."

Their lips collided naturally, passionately as they shared their first embrace of the year. There were a million and one things Naomi wanted to say but only one thing that came out.

"Happy New Life."

Emily chuckled, "Happy New Life to you too."

The year was over and though it had ended happily Naomi was thankful that it ended. There were so many bad memories that she wished could be erased and the few seconds where the clock struck twelve on the last day of the year, though couldn't physically change the past, always felt like it could.

"The past year didn't happen," Naomi muttered. "I want us to forget about it."

"I want that too," Emily replied, kissing her lightly on the cheek. "New year, new start."

"Exactly."

*

The countdown on the television was the only noise left in the room. The clock reached twelve and everyone on the television joined arms, sang Auld Lang Sign and seemed to enjoy celebrating the new year with a glass of champagne and well wishes from everyone else around them. It was a party, a happy, enjoyable party. There was a time when Katie celebrated with friends and family; usually at a party, or at least a number of people gathered together. The year before she'd gone with her family to a Labour club and allowed herself to drink just a little too much whilst William slept on a couple of chairs, not quite making it past nine thirty. At the time she'd felt guilty for keeping him up, but he wasn't the only child asleep. Emily had been there and her parents, Howard's parents; it could only be described as a family occasion.

"Happy New Year," Katie whispered, holding up a half empty glass of orange. She usually drank a whole bottle of wine and though a glass of shandy wouldn't have mattered too much, she knew drinking whilst pregnant wasn't a good idea. She glanced around the room. Howard was sat beside her, his head resting on his chest, asleep for nearly two hours. Her only adult company not making it past ten pm. Lexie was curled up on the chair. For a while Katie thought she'd make it to midnight, but just fifteen minutes before she'd found her sleeping. The whole night was a far cry from the years previous.

"Here's to another good one," Katie mumbled, the words only half-hearted as she remembered the harder times of the last twelve months.

Fireworks started banging outside and though she usually liked to watch the sky light up, she didn't really feel in the mood to do so. She was effectively alone and it made her feel even more down. She should have been able to ring Emily, wish her well for the coming year. They usually called each other when they didn't spend the night together. But despite her desire to contact her sister, to beg her forgiveness and excuse herself for wobbly hormones, there was still an anger bubbling inside that wouldn't go away. It wasn't fair, she knew that, Emily deserved happiness. She just couldn't bring herself to accept the change now that it was really happening. She couldn't even imagine a life where Emily was not just down the road or on the end of a phone and it physically hurt to even contemplate. She'd already brought up one child, but she was scared for the baby's arrival. Scared to go through it with a husband who wasn't one hundred per cent well and a sister on the other side of the world. Emily had been there. She'd listened to her moan at three am when William kept her up with a bout of colic. She'd took him off her hands countless times when she just needed a couple of hours. And for three months after Emily and Naomi separated; she'd been there every single day, living in their spare room and doing everything Katie needed her to, to help her return to working full time. It suddenly occurred to Katie how much she relied on Emily for everything and how unfair it was to ask her to sacrifice her life for her time and again. Their relationship had been very much give and take and though Emily was the one with the greatest need over the last year and a half, Katie had been the one who took the most.

"Oh," she mumbled, her hand sliding across her stomach, butterflies turning into something harder. A kick. She couldn't deny the overwhelming feeling of love for the baby that was growing inside of her and in that moment, where she was feeling entirely alone, her unborn child was moving around, pushing his or her foot, or hand, or nose against her skin, forcing her to realise that right now she wasn't alone. Even if it felt that way.

*

As the closest fireworks died down and the night was growing colder Emily pulled away from Naomi, away from the blanket.

"Where are you going?" Naomi asked, disappointed.

"Inside," Emily mumbled, her teeth starting to chatter. "It's fucking freezing out here."

"Wait," Naomi sighed, taking hold of Emily's fingers and pulling her back.

"I think we'll freeze to death if we stay out here any longer," Emily tried, but Naomi had already wrapped her whole body around Emily, enveloping them both in the blanket until only their faces were in the cold.

"We're not done," Naomi whispered into Emily's ear so quietly she could barely hear it, just feel the gentle, warm breath on her neck.

"Do I get a choice in this?" Emily laughed, squeezing herself closer to Naomi, filling the half inch gap until almost every piece of themselves were touching.

"I heard there's supposed to be some shooting stars. They say they're harder to see in built up areas. But I wanted to try."

Naomi's voice hadn't built up volume, it didn't really matter. They were so close Emily could hear almost anything she said.

"I am warmer," Emily mused, resting her head against Naomi's shoulder as they stared up at the sky.

It was still cold but not nearly as much. Naomi enjoyed the feel of Emily's hair tickling her neck like it used to. It had been a long time and though it was a simple thing, she realised how much she'd missed it.

"Was that one?" Emily mumbled, her breath floating back against her mouth visibly.

"Yeah," Naomi grinned, the excited look on Emily's face more mesmerising than the stars natural actions that were rare to the naked eye.

She tried to turn her head back up to the sky, but she didn't want to watch it anymore. Emily pointed out a couple more and though she glanced slightly to the darkness above, Naomi mostly watched Emily's excitement. Until finally Emily noticed her audience.

"What?" she asked, a smile still plastered on her lips as though frozen in place.

"Tonight was perfect, in the end," she sighed, kissing Emily's lips so quickly, stealing the kiss, knowing Emily wouldn't mind.

Emily nodded against her until their foreheads were touching, "It was."

"Who needs sex when you can have this," Naomi noted, kissing Emily again, holding her even closer if at all possible.

"I know," Emily sighed back, resting her head against Naomi's shoulder again. "Though every so often can't hurt."

Naomi laughed, "Sure, every woman has needs."

"We have two days left."

"That's not long."

"No, but I want to do it now," Emily admitted, pulling back before regretting the slight draft forcing its way between them.

"Me too," Naomi responded, her lip curling with a cheeky grin. "Guess we both lose."

An eyebrow raised on Emily's face, "Or win."

A small number of kisses travelled along Naomi's neck, Emily's breath doubling the touch on her skin. Fingers running over clothes under the blanket, struggling to find buttons and zips, the blanket a barrier to their passion that was building with each second, with each touch against newly bare skin. The blanket slipped from their shoulders exposing them to the freezing night, but the heat they both felt, the fire burning between them kept them warm enough to continue. Emily's lips were planting kisses along Naomi's collar bone, the straps of her dress now hanging down, her jacket lay on the floor. Teeth dug gently into her skin, Emily's tongue causing Naomi's body to react. Emily's hands travelled further, sliding under the material, feeling for the only thing left stopping her from giving Naomi the pleasure they were both starving for. Naomi's own hands tugging on Emily's jumper, sliding under until her cold fingers felt the warmth of Emily's breasts. She fumbled about to unfasten her bra, to strip Emily down until she could reach her prize. Tugging, fumbling and running fingers across each others skin, pushing each other closer, bringing their passion to a head. At some point they lay down, Naomi's skin only half covered by the blanket, the rest turning icy from the stone floor. It didn't matter, she didn't even notice it when Emily moved her touch, her lips creating a fire within her twice as strong as the one they already had between them. Naomi's body reacted, moving against Emily's touch, pushing herself into oblivion as they collapsed together; shattered, warn out but completely satisfied.

**Author Notes: BTW, great halloween costume ideas. I particularly laughed at the Miss Peg costume, I'm sure it would be extremely scary! And ansgt ridden and all that, haha. Christmas presents anyone? Oh and please review...**


	29. Chapter 29

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thanks for all the reviews, this is pretty long and a bit random rather, but ah well. More fun stuff to come. Enjoy.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Twenty-Nine**

Twenty weeks and three days. Every milestone reached, the harder it was to remember life before being pregnant. Katie could barely believe she was already twenty weeks, it wasn't easy to grasp. She'd always seen pregnancy as a nine month event where the baby could maybe arrive a month early and finding out could have happened at four to six weeks. To have known about her pregnancy for just half the time she'd actually been pregnant, it was making it feel like things were happening so fast.

"Do we want to find out if it's a girl or a boy?" Howard asked, squeezing Katie's hand as they sat in the hospital waiting room.

She knew what she wanted, but she didn't want to sway Howard. "You go first."

"I liked knowing with Will, we knew what to expect. I want that this time."

A grin grew on her face, "Great because I do too. Have you thought about what you want?" Katie questioned, resting her head into the crook of his arm.

"I don't mind, to sound like a stereotype, as long as it's healthy. Do you have a preference?"

"I want a girl, it would be nice to have one of each. I will be just as happy with a boy though."

"Of course," Howard smiled, holding her in his grasp, his hand sliding to her stomach. "I still can't believe I missed it kick, come on baby do it again for daddy."

Katie laughed, "He or she seems to be resting."

"Maybe it is a girl, maybe she's too busy making sure she looks good for her photos, just like mummy."

"Oi!" Katie giggled, tapping his arm playfully.

"If it is a boy Im thinking he wont be a footballer."

"Sometimes they Don't kick at all until twenty weeks," Katie reminded him. "So baby might just be a slow starter."

"Katie Dixon," the receptionist called.

*

Opening a large tub of chocolate chip ice cream, Emily handed a spoon to Lexie and Naomi before sitting down beside Naomi. Things had been good lately, really good. Lexie was more than happy with the reconstituted family and seemed to have gained a new lease for life that had gone at the end of the year before.

"What is it?" Lexie asked, scooping into the ice cream and shoving some into her mouth.

"Who says there's anything?" Naomi asked, laughing at her sister's observation.

"You say we should only have ice cream in the summer or on special occasions like birthdays," Lexie pointed out. "And Harley isn't here."

Emily smiled, "You're right. There is something."

The young girl continued to eat the ice cream as Naomi and Emily exchanged glances, Naomi's fingers resting on Emily's thigh nervously. Emily moved her hand over Naomi's and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"The thing is," Emily began. "A lot of things are changing, have been changing for a while and we understand that it's been difficult for you."

"It's are okay now though," Lexie reminded them.

"It is," Naomi nodded, taking a deep breath and digging her fingers into Emily's thigh.

Emily pulled Naomi's hand off her leg and squeezed it again, "Lexie, we're thinking of making more changes, a really big one."

"Is this why Naomi quit her job?"

"Sort of."

"We wanted to run something by you because unless you're okay with it, we won't do it," Emily assured her.

"Like what?"

"We're," Naomi sighed. "We're thinking about spending a year in another country, in America."

It was the hardest thing Naomi had to do in a long time. She'd let Emily do the ground work but they'd agreed Naomi should be the one to tell Lexie their exact plan. The little girl didn't speak at first, didn't even look up, just continued to eat her ice cream for a moment.

"Why?"

"I have been offered a job there," Emily answered, finally digging into the ice cream.

"Where would we live?"

"In a house, somewhere nice where there's a school that you can go to and where there's other kids."

"We wouldn't live near Auntie Katie and Uncle Howard though," Lexie whispered. "Or Uncle James, or,"

"I know, we wouldn't live near them," Naomi sighed. "Which is why we didn't want to make this decision without you. We know how much they mean to you."

"We wouldn't be able to see them all the time," Emily informed her. "But we would be able to visit and they'll be able to visit too. We won't be strangers."

Lexie continued to eat the ice cream, consideration on her face, thoughts ticking through her mind. There was silence, a moment that became painful for Naomi, awaiting a response on whether they could make the dramatic change or not.

"What do you think?" Emily asked, filling the silence.

"I think it would be fun to live somewhere else for a while, as long as we can still see everyone sometimes," Lexie smile, dropping her spoon and putting her hands to her head.

"Are you okay?" Naomi jumped in, moving had hand across the table to her younger sister's shoulder.

"Brain freeze," Lexie giggled. "When do we go?"

*

The gel was cold on Katie's skin, it didn't bother her though, she was too excited to see her child again. Howard's hand was linked with her own, her fingers comfortably fit in his large hand. It made her smile, the thing she'd wanted the last time was now fixed firmly around her smaller fingers. A nervous smile crept onto her lips as the screen turned from black to a mixture of black and white and then the baby appeared. It looked pretty much the same as it did at the last scan. Except that it was larger in size and it's head a little more in proportion to the rest of its body. Howard pulled their hands up to his face and Katie could feel cool drops of liquid soaking her skin. She turned to Howard and let her hand free itself from her grasp as she wiped the tears from under his eyes.

"It's so real," he sighed, his hand moving to Katie's head whilst his lips pushed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

"Well your baby is healthy, nice strong heart beat, he seems to be growing at a steady rate. Quite a big baby."

"Oh great," Katie laughed. "As if it's not going to be painful enough."

The ultrasound technician smiled. "Do we want to know the sex?"

"Yes," Katie informed her.

The new picture of their baby was mesmerising. Howard held onto it, staring at their second child. It was perfect, everything he'd once hoped, to have more than one child. Howard had given up hope, given up the dream of a larger family. William was miracle enough. The addition of the baby was perfect.

*

The house smelled wonderful the moment Naomi and Emily entered it. Jenna had said she was roasting a chicken and it didn't cease to excite Naomi's taste buds. They were just on time, rushing to arrive at the time Jenna had announced was eating time. The dining room was surprisingly empty.

"I thought you weren't coming," Jenna snapped, putting plates onto the table.

"We were delayed," Emily admitted, a slight glint in her eye as she grinned at Naomi.

"Where's your sister?" she snapped back, barely even listening to the reply.

Emily shrugged, "I've no idea. Thought she'd already be here."

"Well she's not."

As if on cue the front door banged suggesting the arrival of Katie and co. Jenna stood up, her lips pressed tightly together.

"You're late," she snapped the moment Katie and Howard had walked in the door.

"We had to go to church, I thought you knew?" Katie replied. "William was at the Sunday school after."

"I don't know why you bother, no one's religious anymore," Jenna retorted.

"Thanks mum," Katie rolled her eyes.

"It's true. All this science who-har, it's more accurate."

"Doesn't mean everyone's stopped believing in God," Katie snapped.

"Well wasn't ask me to set foot in a church, I wont go."

Katie couldn't help feel defensive. "Not even for the baby's christening?"

Jenna looked thoughtful, "Well that's different."

"You're not going to tell me not to do it then?"

"It's not the same as regular church."

Clenching her teeth and dropping her coat onto the back of her chair, Katie looked ready for a fight.

"Relax," Howard sighed, a hand resting on her shoulder as they sat down.

The mood of the room was hardly suitable, Emily watched her mother place things with frustration and anger, dropping spoons into bowls with haste.

"What's wrong mum?" Emily asked, wishing for a less frosty conversation in hope of leading on to news of their move to another country.

Jenna sat down and took a deep breath, "When exactly were you going to tell me you're moving halfway around the bloody world?" she snapped, her face growing red with what Emily could only assume were tears.

She looked at her plate with regret, "Oh."

"Yes oh," Jenna continued, pushing a couple of potatoes onto her plate. "Were we going to be the last to know?"

"Only Katie knows," Emily retorted, sending a death stare towards her sister.

"Don't look at me I didn't tell them a thing," Katie moaned.

"Then how did they find out?" Emily shouted. "For the record we were going to tell you today."

The good timing had been blown out of the window. Emily couldn't help feel relieved at the thought of not having to actually tell her family the truth, despite the argument that had ensued.

"Of course you were," Jenna grumbled, slicing through her chicken so hard the knife squealed against the plate.

"We were Jenna," Naomi tried. It wasn't fair that Emily get the brunt of the blame. She pushed her fingers against Emily's under the table and felt her slender fingers grasp her own, tighter than she had hoped.

"How did you find out if Katie didn't tell you?"

"The same way I found out that you two are back together," Jenna snarled. "Do my children ever tell me anything for themselves?"

"Oh," Emily gasped again, sliding their interlinked hands out from under the table and resting them on top of it. "Guess there's no need to hide it anymore then."

Aside from the negative reaction that Jenna had to the news, Naomi was relieved that she didn't have to hide her feelings for Emily anymore. Their fingers were intertwined, connected on top of the table for the world to see and it felt amazing.

Jenna stared Emily down, "This is no joke young lady, when were your own parents going to be given the pleasure since the whole bloody world knows?"

"We didn't tell anyone except Katie and Howard," Naomi assured the elder Fitch.

"Except somebody told Cynthia from Cut 'n' Blow," Jenna informed them.

Emily and Naomi both turned to Katie with an apprehensive glare, neither spoke, just stared her down until she cracked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise mum would find out through her."

"How Katie?" Emily called out, "You've used the same hairdresser for six years."

"I forgot."

"Emily don't," Howard tried. "It's not good for the baby if you're constantly stressing out his mother."

"We still haven't got an answer," Jenna interrupted, before backtracking slightly to join the rest of her family in staring at Howard.

He looked a little lost, "What?"

"He?" Rob asked, a grin growing on his face.

Howard turned to Katie, waiting for her approval before just nodding at everyone. The whole table erupted into celebratory cheers, comments spread across the group about a second son, a brother for William to play with. Jenna pointed out the lack of girls in the family, but still held up her glass.

"To the next baby boy Fitch," Rob called out.

"Dixon," Katie corrected him.

"Will got Dixon, can't the new one be Fitch?"

Katie laughed, "No dad."

"Maybe we could give him an extra middle name," Howard suggested.

In all the fuss nobody realised that James had left the table. Emily turned to the empty space and upon realising the absence turned to the rest of the family.

"Where's James?"

Nobody had an answer, just shrugged and carried on the debate on whether the new baby would be known as Fitch, Dixon, Fitch-Dixon, or just Dixon with Fitch as a second middle name. It would have been enjoyable to watch had James not have been gone longer than the usual bathroom trip.

"Maybe you should check on him?" Naomi told Emily when she noticed her staring towards the door.

It was icy cold outside. Emily suspected recent forecasts of snow wouldn't be far wrong with the dropping temperatures. The sandy blonde hair of Emily's younger brother was peering out over the garden gate at the back of the house, wisps of smoke were floating around in the air that Emily suspected were from more than breathing heavily. She stood on the other side of the wooden fence, waiting for the right moment to speak.

"Before you say anything," a voice called back to her. "I only smoke when I'm stressed."

"What's there to be stressed about?" Emily asked, unfastening the gate and sliding into the small alley. "Katie and Howard are having another boy, Naomi and I are back together."

"It's always about you isn't it," James snapped.

"What?" Emily was taken aback by her brother's hostility, his teeth baring in an aggressive way.

"Katie this, Emily that. It's all mum and dad ever talk about. You're fucking superstars in this house. Mum acts like the most wounded person on earth, but really she's fucking proud of you. Even when you came out she was a bitch of course but she has that look, the one where she knows Katie or you are happy and she looks like the cat that got the cream. It's not always about you and Katie. The world doesn't just revolve around the Fitch twins."

James sucked on his cigarette until it grew too small to hold. He squashed it against the fence post and dropped it on the floor with three others freshly smoked.

"What is this all about?" Emily asked. "I don't understand. Unless you tell me what is going on, what is making you so angry, how can I help?"

James shrugged his shoulders, "Nobody can help. You're already all fucking done it. You and Naomi, it's fantastic of course it is. As is having another nephew. But for once in all of my life I wanted a day where my oldest sisters didn't steal my thunder."

"That's not fair," Emily sighed. "When have we ever stolen your thunder?"

"My eighth birthday party got moved to the gym because Katie got her period for the first time; I didn't get a thirteenth celebration because of some drama Katie was going through, we were supposed to go for a meal, mum and dad said they'd rearrange it for another day but never did. And today I wanted to introduce everyone to my fiancée."

James went silent, pushed a fingers to his eyes before lighting up another cigarette. Emily just stared him, not quite sure what to say. She didn't realise James felt so pushed aside by having older sisters, didn't even realise her baby brother was ready for marriage let alone had actually proposed.

"You're engaged?" she asked, resting a hand on his arm with a smile on her face.

"Yes," he replied, pulling away from her grasp.

"James don't."

"Don't what?" he asked.

"Don't pull away from me, I'm trying to make it up to you."

"Make it up to me?" he laughed. "You're moving to America Emily, how can you ever make it up to me living there?"

"James please," Emily tried. "I already have Katie hating my decision, I can't bare the thought of you too."

"You don't understand, you just don't fucking understand," he snapped, walking further down the passageway. "Go back to your girlfriend, your new life. At least you have a future together."

A future. James wasn't saying much but in only a few words he spoke volumes. Emily followed him, put a hand to his back when he stopped.

"James," she tried. "Please."

The broad shoulders that Emily's hand could barely reach were shaking, her little brother who hadn't been little in ten years was so visibly upset that Emily could feel herself growing sad at his emotionality. She rubbed his shoulders, tried to comfort him as he continued to turn away from her.

"Turn around," she ordered and when he did she slid her arms around his stomach and pulled him to her. He'd spent all his life being the strong Fitch child, the boy, the one their dad could push furthest. But he wasn't as strong as he made out, not really.

By the time Emily and James rejoined the rest of the Fitch's, another person had joined them at the table.

"Tali?" James asked the moment they walked in the door.

The family watched as James moved closer to the girl, pulled her pale face into his hands long enough to push several small, gentle kisses against her cheek and lips.

"Put her down son," Rob jeered, prompting a disapproving glare from Emily. The patriarch of the Fitch family then went to find a spare chair so that the girl, who he thought looked pretty weedy and not very strong, could sit down.

"Mum, dad, everybody," James began, an approving nod from Emily. "This is my girlfriend Tali."

"Think we figured that one out son," Rob called, placing a chair down beside James whilst laughing to himself.

"We're engaged."

Most of the table stared at him in complete shock. Katie's mouth hung half open, a fork full of food hovering not far away. Rob looked more confused, before a 'get in there' grin appeared on his face. Jenna was a blank canvas, emotionless looking.

"Congratulations," Howard offered, shaking hands with the young Fitch. The rest of the table offered words of encouragement. Jenna looked more hurt than happy.

"Mum?"

Normally Jenna was happy about her children's big news, more so if they actually told her about it. Sure she'd been angry at Emily, but she wasn't angry at the news, just that she hadn't been told.

"Oh," was the only response.

Jenna stood up, picked up her empty plate and took it into the kitchen. James kissed Tali's hand, whispering something to her before following Mrs Fitch.

"Mum? You can't just leave like that."

"Someone has to start the dishwasher," she mumbled, clearing her plate into the bin.

"Mum stop," James tried.

The woman did stop. She rested the plate on the counter and stared at her son with down turned eyes. She looked older than he'd even seen her. She was his mother, the woman who always protected him as a little boy and now she looked like a fragile older woman about to be left alone.

"Everyone is leaving," she sighed, her eyes glistening over with tears.

"I'm not leaving Ma," he whispered. "Tali and I are just getting married, that's all."

"You won't live here anymore though," she sighed. "No one will live here anymore."

It used to be Jenna's job to comfort her children and now James could see the need to comfort his mother. He moved across the kitchen and pulled her tiny frame into his arms. He'd not been in his mother's arms since he was about thirteen. It felt like he was returning home, he pulled in closer and pushed his face against her neck, tears began to fall and he wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to stop them.

"She has cancer doesn't she?" Jenna finally asked, pulling away long enough to cup her son's broken face in her hands, he nodded.

*

Jenna Fitch was usually very judgemental of her children's new partners, never seemed to recognise that her children could make their own mistakes, or pick good partners by themselves. It surprised everyone at the table when she came back into the dining room with a huge smile on her face.

"Tali, right? Is that short for anything?" she asked, sitting down on the vacant seat beside her almost daughter-in-law.

The girl nodded, "Natalie, but everyone calls me Tali."

Katie sat back with her hands against her stomach, "Tali was telling us that she used to work at the gym at her university while she studied the same course as James."

"And I told her," Rob announced with a chuckle. "That when she wants one, there's a job at Fitch Fitness with her name on it."

"Think he's setting up for the next generation to take over," Howard laughed, prompting a stern glare from Rob.

"About that," Tali whispered. "I don't know if Jay had a chance to tell you all, but I'm actually being treated for cancer right now. I won't really be doing very much for a while."

The room reached an eerie silence. No one really knew what to say and though Emily already knew about her brother's girlfriend's illness, she still wasn't sure how to deal with the information in front of the rest of the family.

Rob looked sympathetic and thankfully filled the silence, "Well whenever you want to get back on the bandwagon so to speak, feel free to drop by. I know a fantastic personal trainer who works specifically in the hydropool with people who are ill, I will happily have her help you get back into things if you want. Free of course."

"Thanks Mr Fitch," Tali smiled.

"Call me Rob, or dad," Rob grinned, causing Tali's pale complexion to grow red.

"Here you go babe," James handed her a glass of water and sat down in a spare seat.

"Thanks."

The table conversation returned to it's usual speed, Jenna asked Tali questions about her cancer; while Naomi and Howard discussed the move to America. James held his girlfriend's hand across the table.

"Emily and Naomi are planning to move to America and we've just found out that Katie and Howard are having a boy," James informed Tali, who congratulated her new family.

"When we're settled you'll have to come out, stay with us," Emily offered.

Tali nodded, "That would be nice."

"Yeah, really nice," Katie rolled her eyes and sipped on her orange juice.

"What exactly is going on with you two?" Rob asked, looking between his daughters. "You've barely said two words to each other all afternoon."

Katie scoffed, "She's the one leaving, ask her."

Emily rolled her eyes too, "She's the one being an idiot about it."

"Would you both just shut up?! The world doesn't revolve around either of you."

James' voice cut through the tense argument erupting between the twins, stopping them in their tracks. He grinned at Tali, squeezed her hand in both of his hands as he played with the ring on her finger.

"Tali and I are sharing massive news with you both, can we at least get some wine down us before we have to listen to the mother of all arguments?"

"Better still," Rob grinned. "I know there's a nice bottle of champers in the garage."

The group played musical chairs as Rob retrieved the bottle. Naomi found herself next to her brother-in-law, giving her the chance to tell him the only thing on her mind since finding out about his future nuptials.

"Marriage? So that's what you wouldn't tell me at Christmas?" Naomi asked.

James nodded, "It's all thanks to you sis," he grinned, kissing her cheeks.

"Sis?"

He shrugged, "You're as good as."

"Thanks James."

"To James and Tali," Rob announced, popping the cork and pouring the drink into glasses as the family toasted the most recent news.

**Author Notes: Reviews?**


	30. Chapter 30

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: On a slightly sad note we're not far from the end, only another half dozen chapters, which in some ways is still quite a way, but in others isn't that long at all.**

**Thank you for your reviews, you know I love them and appreciate them all! I also appreciate the people who added my story to their alerts or favourites, I never seem to acknowledge that, but I am so grateful to everyone for everything they do that shows that they're enjoying my story.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty**

The attic was filled with dust that irritated Howard's lungs. He searched the small space as quickly as he could to avoid choking on the small speckles that he disturbed and subsequently became a possible target of as they found new places to settle.

"Another bag coming down," he called as he dropped the black bin liner through the hatch.

Eventually he escaped the room that he realised wasn't that good a place to store things as the retrieval process was a lot harder than when they shoved the bags into the hatch letting them land anywhere. It also made it harder to find things as they were never quite sure where they landed. By the time Howard had closed up the hatch he was warn out and Katie had emptied a couple of the bags onto the floor of the old office which was halfway to being a nursery.

"This stuff is disgusting Howie," Katie sighed, picking up old toys that looked older than their four years and clothes that were definitely over worn.

"There must be some things we can still use," Howard hoped, picking up a fairly decent overall. "This isn't too bad."

It wouldn't have been too bad at all had Katie reaction to his suggestion not prompted two lines of tears that had begun sliding down his wife's cheeks. Sighing, he knelt on the floor beside where she had seated herself and pulled her into his arms. He knew it was mostly hormones turning her into a wreck, despite said knowledge it still broke his heart every time she teared up.

"What is this about?" he asked suspecting a little more to it than Katie was actually saying.

The hair on her head tickled his neck as she pulled back, wiping her hands on the sleeves of her top. She sniffled a little, although she was no longer crying heavily she still looked very upset.

"Why should this baby get second hand everything?" she cried, her tears returning as she choked on her words. "I feel like we're failing him, can't even give him new things."

"It's okay," Howard assured her, stroking her cheeks with his hands as they both continued to sit on the bare floor.

"No it's not Howard, when Will was born he got everything. Why should the second child not get everything too?"

"You know why Katie," Howard whispered. "It's not our fault that we don't have enough money to throw around like we did with Will."

"It is," Katie snapped. "We should have planned better, we should have seen this coming."

A smile crept onto his face, "Neither of us saw this coming and you know it would have been impossible to."

"We still should have planned for it," Katie rationalised.

Howard nodded, agreeing with her to make things that little bit easier, "Yes, okay, we should have."

"Are you sure there isn't anything else on your mind making this worse?" Howard asked.

The question skated on thin ice, Howie knew it was a sensitive subject at the moment. He went ahead and suggested it anyway, even though he knew it would lead to a fate worse than death.

"Are you upset because of this thing with Emily?"

"Shut the fuck up Howard," Katie snapped, pulling away until there was a comfortable distance between them. "Everything isn't about Emily so stop making it about it. I'm fucking upset because we're terrible parents. Why do you have to try and make things appear worse than they are? You always do this."

"I made one suggestion once Katie," Howard sighed, half expecting the explosion.

"Yeah well don't," she snapped, trying to get up. "Just fucking don't."

Katie was still trying to get up, was struggling to manoeuvre around her enlarged bump to get to her feet, eventually she gave in and continued to sit.

"Would you like some help?" Howard offered, cautiously.

"No I can fucking do it myself," she snapped back, trying again before quickly giving in. "Fine, just help me up then leave me alone."

It was difficult not to laugh or even smile at Katie. Howard reached out a hand and assisted her to her feet, before watching her waddle out of the room mumbling to herself. If she wasn't pregnant, or didn't look so damn beautiful he'd have marched after her and demanded a fight which would inevitably have led to make up sex. But she was pregnant and as much he didn't mind arguing with her, doing so whilst her hormones were all over the place was attempted suicide.

*

It had been a while since Naomi got drunk, she didn't even plan to have as much as she did, but somehow the night got away from her and she found herself stumbling through the front door in the early hours of the morning. Alcohol gave her an appetite, so she headed for the kitchen where Emily was sat in front of her laptop.

"You still up?" Naomi grinned, almost falling into the seat beside her.

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd do some research on the area we're moving to. JJ came over earlier and we watched a film together so I didn't have time to do it then. I didn't realise you'd be so late."

A cheeky grin slid across Naomi's lips and she reached her arms around Emily's neck, "Nomey's home now, we can go to bed."

Emily laughed as Naomi's lips tickled the skin below her ear.

"You're drunk," Emily noted. "Did you have a nice leaving do?"

"I'm, I'm just a little," Naomi sighed, running her tongue along Emily's cheek until their lips collided.

Pulling away Emily held Naomi back with a giggle, "Your breath is revolting."

"Oh," Naomi realised, pushing a hand against her mouth before moving to the fridge. "Emsy where do we keep the toothpaste?"

Emily rolled her eyes and patted the seat beside her, "We'll sort that out later, come sit down and look at this website while I make you something to sober you up a bit."

Emily placed a mug of coffee on the kitchen table in front of Naomi. The blonde was hunched over the laptop screen silently scrolling through the pages.

"It's so simple," Naomi muttered, her words slurring some.

"What is?" Emily asked, sitting down and pushing the mug towards Naomi.

"This moving thing, too simple," Naomi moaned, sliding the laptop across the table. "Way too simple."

"I'm not sure I understand," Emily muttered in response.

"It's all happening so qu, qu, so fast," Naomi stuttered. "So many things going extra fast."

Sliding her arms around Naomi's waist, Emily rested her head on her shoulder. Blue eyes were staring back at her, fixed with her brown ones. Naomi looked sad, worried mostly and a little confused. Emily moved her fingers to Naomi's cheeks and brushed blonde hair from her pale skin.

"Everything is going to work out you know," she assured her, despite her own reservations spinning around her head. She pushed them aside long enough to focus on Naomi's insecurities and drunken revelations.

"I don't, I won't have a job," Naomi sighed. "I won't have anything to do when we go."

Emily pushed her lip against Naomi's nose lightly. "When we go we will find something that makes you happy, we will work it all out together."

Naomi nodded into a kiss and Emily pulled away again, her nose wrinkled up at the taste now on her lips. She tugged on Naomi's hand and pulled her to her feet before leading her through the house until she helped her into bed. Emily climbed in beside her, their arms wrapped tightly around each other.

"We go so soon," Naomi mumbled into the dark, her voice growing quieter as sleep began to take over her. "I didn't even get to see what happened to Effy and Freddie."

Emily cocked her head, was about to question the girl in her arms on said statement, but Naomi had already begun to breath heavily. Emily traced the outline of Naomi's features, pressed a number of small kisses to Naomi's face before closing her eyes and letting herself relax into a comfortable sleep.

*

The morning after being drunk was usually painful. It was a surprise to Naomi to wake with a clear head. She glanced at the clock, wondered why she was awake so early when even Harley was probably still sleeping. Normally she would have turned back over and tried to go back to sleep. However, Naomi caught sight of Emily's mouth half open, her arms connected tightly around Naomi's waist. She smiled, couldn't help wrap her own body around Emily and push her face against her red hair. Emily shifted in her sleep, moaned slightly before settling into Naomi's arms so that their chests were pushed together, their hearts beating in perfect rhythm.

"Did you fall asleep?" came a muffled voice from Naomi's neck.

"No," she whispered, her voice tiny. "Didn't realise you were awake."

Emily pulled back, "I like lying with you."

"Me too."

The girls continued to lie together in silence. Emily pondered her thoughts, remembering everything from the night before. She reached a hand up and stroked Naomi's cheek with her finger, tracing a heart shape against Naomi's skin.

"What were you talking about last night?"

"What do you mean?" Naomi replied, wrapping her fingers around Emily's hand and sliding it to her lips.

"You said something about Effy and Freddie."

"Oh right," Naomi sighed. "I guess I just wonder if Effy is okay. We're leaving soon, I feel like I should at least know that she's okay."

"Why wouldn't she be okay?" Emily frowned.

It hadn't even occurred to Naomi that she hadn't told anything about what actually happened with their old friend. She bit her lip, cautious about telling Emily Effy's news when Effy herself hadn't been sure the last time they were together.

"She got pregnant, her and Freddie had a thing at the reunion."

"What?" Emily gasped, pulling away until she sat up in the bed.

"You remember what Effy's like, she doesn't seem to handle things like that well."

"Is she still pregnant?" Emily questioned, still completely shocked. "I can't believe her and Freddie."

Naomi let a small smile creep across her lips, "That isn't even half of what I learnt about her. But I'll tell you about that later, I don't know what she did because I threw her out. I realised what a mistake that was but I didn't know where she'd gone."

Emily tilted her head to the side, "So, what does this mean?"

Naomi sighed, "I guess I feel like I should know that she's okay before we leave. She was really there for me Emily, I owe her that much."

"I'm not saying it's not a good idea," Emily assured her. "If you need to do it, then you need to do it."

Naomi turned onto her back, staring up at the plain white ceiling. She liked it a lot more now, a blank canvas above her to allow her thoughts to disappear into the white sea.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, resting beside her with her head on her hand, her other hand running through Naomi's hair, spinning a couple of strands round her finger.

"I feel guilty. I know I should have done more for her, but I was so pissed off for a while that I pushed it out of my mind. Now we're leaving I couldn't help let it come back in." Naomi paused, "She brought drugs into the house, had a party while she was meant to be looking after the kids."

Emily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't think I wanted to know that."

"I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay," Emily paused. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I just, forgot."

Emily ran a finger across Naomi's lips, "Would you like me to come with you when you finally do see her?"

Naomi shook her head, "It's okay. This is something I need to atone for myself."

*

The only advantage of having your sister carry your first child is the lack of growing huge and having the same body before and after the baby's birth. When Katie lay down on the sofa she could barely see her ankles. It was a far cry from watching Emily struggle with the bump now known as William Fitch. The four hands placed firmly over Katie's swelled stomach linked together, her fingers dancing from the movement of her second son to the hands of her husband.

"Six fifteen on a Saturday night and we're both shattered," Howard laughed.

"I can't even remember the last time I stayed up all night, let alone drank heavily or went to a decent party," Katie moaned, contemplating the youthful years she'd long since forgotten about.

"We have a good life though don't we?" Howard grinned, sliding a finger across the separation between Katie's clothes.

"We have a married life, a life of kids and early nights," Katie sighed.

"You sound disappointed by that, it's not like we've not had it for years already," Howard frowned.

"I know," Katie replied. "I'm just finding myself missing it more than usual."

"Before you know it you and Emily will be hitting the town in San Francisco while Naomi and I sit in their house with the kids."

Katie laughed, almost scoffed at his suggestion before sighing heavily. She didn't like to think about the future anymore. Hated the thought of giving birth without Emily at least waiting outside, didn't want to contemplate a year of her life without her sister in it. God knows if that year would turn into more if the Fitch-Campbell's settled down a little too well.

Katie rolled her eyes and pushed the thoughts from her brain, "I'm never going to get my figure back after this."

"But you're beautiful," Howard grinned.

"Im a heifer Howard, how is that beautiful?"

His fingers pushed her top aside and slid along her bare skin in swirls. "You are the most beautiful woman on this earth, big pregnant belly or no. You are almost six months after all, no one can blame you for it."

A small smile crept onto Katie's lips and she thanked her husband for his kind words, before reminding him just how large she really was. They sat in silence for a while, a comfortable silence where Howard continued to rest his hands on Katie's stomach.

"Katie?" he asked, quietly.

"Yes?"

"I know you don't want to talk about it," he began. "But they leave in almost two months. I'd hate for you two to regret not making the most of the time they have left here."

Katie took a long, deep breath in, "And there's three months 'til the baby will be born, but she isn't regretting not being here for it."

It was a bitter comment that she regretted instantly. Emily was her sister, her twin. If she could have controlled both their lives then maybe they wouldn't be in the mess they were in. It was a selfish thought but being pregnant and hormonal she figured she was entitled to a somewhat selfish thought process. Howard didn't look convinced, but let the subject lie. If Katie was honest with herself she didn't want to be in the mess they were in, but she was, so just shifted about on the sofa until she was tucked up neatly in Howard's arms, right where she belonged.

**Author Notes: Wish me luck on the job applications I just submitted...reviews anyone?**


	31. Chapter 31

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: jm-no car parks in this fic, haha. Thanks for all your reviews guys, I love and appreciate them as always. Man it's raining, anyone fancy stopping it so I can write whilst walking down to Beavers (6/7 year olds, Scout group that I run)? :-P**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-One**

Neither of them spoke about Naomi's reservations. Emily wondered, tried to figure out just what was inside Naomi's head. The thought of actually asking her scared her, not because she was afraid of Naomi's answer, but because she was afraid of her own fears. There were so many things to leave behind, so many important things that still mattered. Katie's son, the miracle baby that Emily would have done almost anything to be around for the birth of. James and Tali. Her little brother was in love, was ready to make the biggest commitment of all that was a far cry from the perverted teenage boy he used to be. It scared her to be apart from her whole family, her whole life. At least Naomi and the children were going to be there. It was almost impossible to imagine what she had previously planned; to go without them, to leave them when it was the last thing she'd ever really wanted.

"Naomi's on line one," a voice interrupted her thoughts, pulled her from the recurrent daydream that was plaguing her existence.

Emily took a deep breath and reached for the phone, pressed the button to accept her call whilst she pushed aside her worries and forced a smile across her face.

"Hi sexy," she mumbled.

"I'm bored," came the only response. "Have you ever sat down to watch daytime TV?"

It was impossible not to laugh, the thought of Naomi sat on the sofa in her pyjamas enough to send her head into a spin. "I can think of a few things that would help pass the time."

"Like what?" Naomi questioned.

Emily stood up and walked to the door, informing her assistant to not disturb her for the next half an hour before closing the door and returning to her seat.

"I'm thinking about you," Emily replied. "I'm thinking about you dressed in that corset you bought three years ago."

Naomi frowned, "What about it?"

"The way it pushes your tits together, the way it makes me wet just thinking about it."

"Emily you're at work," Naomi gasped.

"With a do not disturb notice to my assistant," she replied, her voice growing quiet. "I'm thinking about it right now and it's making me want you."

"What would you do to me?" Naomi asked, biting her lip instinctively.

"I would pull you into my arms, kiss your lips, I know you're biting your lip," she mumbled, her breath growing shallow. "I would slide my hands down until my fingers are inside you."

It was too much, Emily regretted starting what she knew she couldn't finish. Her heart rate was speeding but her office door didn't lock and to do more than talking sexy to Naomi would be too risky. She paused, didn't quite know what to say next through fear of pushing herself too far.

"Don't stop," Naomi moaned. "Please."

Naomi's voice, the desperation in her words was enough for Emily to continue. She carried on telling Naomi what she would do to her, imagining running her fingers all over the blonde's body, her lips following the paths, her teeth catching the skin ever so carefully around her neck. She could hear Naomi's moans on the other end of the phone, topped off by the screaming of her name.

"Thanks," Naomi panted into Emily's ear.

"You so owe me for that," Emily sighed, quickly ending the call before making her way to the staff toilet, the only place she could be alone long enough to satisfy her voracious need.

*

The rest of the day was mildly entertaining. The moment Naomi hung up the phone with Emily she could picture the red head sat in her office struggling to deal with her lack of privacy. It almost got her excited again just thinking about Emily trying to handle the passion that had been between them. It was tempting to call back and take the lead, teasing Emily until she was just about ready to explode. But her thoughts were just that, enough to keep her entertained but not enough to satisfy her desire to be with Emily. She noted to herself that she did owe Emily and probably owed her a lot more than one night of passion.

"Naomi I'm home," Lexie's voice filled the house, pulling Naomi from another plan formulating in her mind.

"Good afternoon, did you have a nice day at school?"

The little girl dropped her bags on the floor and jumped onto the sofa. Naomi felt her face flush as she remembered what she'd been doing in the exact same spot just a few hours earlier. She pushed it aside when she noticed the contorted look on Lexie's face.

"What's wrong? Did you have a fight with Madison again on the ride home?"

Lexie shook her head, "I was thinking about the move."

"What about it?" Naomi asked, sitting up and hugging a cushion to her chest.

"Mum and dad won't be there."

Naomi's eyebrows came together in a frown, "I don't understand what you mean."

"We won't be able to talk to them because their graves are here," Lexie stated, her eyes looking down turned and sad.

Naomi rested a hand on Lexie's shoulder, "We don't need graves to be able to talk to them."

"But they won't know where we are so they won't be listening," the little girl noted, matter of factly.

Naomi had to suppress a laugh, "It i.e. work like that, wherever we are, there they'll be."

"Do you promise?" Lexie demanded.

"I do," Naomi smiled, wrapping her arms around her sister. "We have an hour before we have to pick up Harley, how about we go see them?"

"Okay."

*

The graveyard was quiet, the odd mourner dotted around. A small family were stood around a plot that didn't even have a stone. Naomi suspected it was a new death. Lexie saw them too, was watching the little girl stood between two women. It was sad, really sad to picture people losing a family member like they had years ago.

"I hope that little girl didn't lose her mummy or daddy," Lexie pointed out as they stood in front of the two graves.

Naomi nodded, "I hope so too."

They stood silently, Naomi's arm perched gently on Lexie's shoulder. Sometimes Naomi wondered what life would be like had her mum and step-dad not died. Would her and Emily still have been together? Would they visit the house in Bristol every weekend like they so often did with the Fitch's. Would Lexie's little brother have been born healthy and happy? What would life have been like had only Bill died, or just their mum? A million questions always came to mind when they stood by the graves, the carvings into the stone was little comfort for what the monuments were really replacing.

"What if she's lost both her parents?" Lexie mumbled, staring at the graves in front of them, but her thoughts still very much with the family that Naomi noted had now gone.

"I imagine that would be very difficult for her, like it was difficult for us."

Lexie seemed to contemplate Naomi's answer, but didn't seem fulfilled. She knelt down and placed the bunch of flowers they'd bought from the supermarket; lilies, their mother favourites.

"Would she live with an older sister too?"

It was a simple question, though the answer was not so. Naomi bit her lip, rolling her eyes at the misplaced thoughts of Emily in her office pleasuring herself as Naomi mumbled into the phone. She brushed it aside and knelt beside Lexie, resting a hand on the letters that made up the word 'mother' in the stone.

"Some children who lose both their parents live with their older brother or sister. Some live with aunts and uncles, some live with grandparents."

"So they always live with family?" Lexie interrupted, a comfortable smile on her face.

Naomi frowned, "Not always. Sometimes there are children who don't have older sisters, or aunts, or grandparents."

"But then who looks after them?" the little girl considered, her head tilting to the side as she looked up at Naomi.

"Some children move in with what they call a foster family who look after them. Some live in a special house with other children who don't have any family too or their family can't look after them."

It seemed to puzzle Lexie, who frowned, silently thinking about Naomi's words.

"That's not fair," she finally stated. "It's sad."

"It is," Naomi nodded, wrapping her arms around Lexie.

"I'm so glad I have you and Emily," Lexie smiled, wrapping her arms around Naomi's waist and pushing her teary eyes against the crook of Naomi's arm.

Naomi could feel tears reach her eyes, "Me too."

*

The meeting with Effy was in a bar, the last place Naomi had hoped or expected to have to meet Effy. She hoped that it was a sign that Effy had chosen not to keep the baby and not a sign that she was still pregnant but liked to drink and party just as much as usual. Eventually the brunette walked through the door. It took Naomi a moment to recognise her as her previously long wavy hair was now cut short and straightened until the ends curved around her chin. It suited her and with the black make up Naomi noted the similarity between Effy and Catherine Zeta-Jones in the film version of Chicago.

"Thanks for coming," she greeted Effy, pushing a glass of water towards her.

"Vodka?" Effy asked with a cheeky grin.

It hadn't escaped Naomi's notice, in fact she'd actively searched for the small bump protruding from Effy's stomach. It was there, was quite noticeable. Effy's grin suggested she was joking, but Naomi didn't find it very funny.

"You're keeping it then?" she asked, not sure why she was still feeling so hostile when a few months had passed since Effy had acted irresponsibly.

"Don't look so pissed off Naomi, you did the right thing throwing me out."

"It's water by the way," Naomi assured her.

"I didn't ever think it was anything more."

There had been questions Naomi wanted to ask, things she'd planned to say. For weeks she'd been unconsciously thinking of things she was worried about or thought important to say if she ever bumped into Effy again. Sitting across from her everything vanished.

"How are you?" Naomi finally asked, starting at the beginning with the hope Effy would help guide the conversation.

"I could lie to you, tell you my life is perfect and that I couldn't be happier," the brunette muttered, holding the glass of water tightly in her hands.

"I'm sorry," Naomi stated, the words coming out before she could stop them.

"What for?" Effy asked. "For making me see sense or for forcing me to get my life back on track?"

Naomi bit her lip, "For throwing you out when you needed support, for not being there for you after you'd been there for me."

"You did the right thing," Effy smiled. "I don't listen to reason, I don't respond to support. Or at least I didn't."

Naomi sighed, regardless of what Effy said she still felt guilty, still couldn't help wonder if she'd actually made the girls life harder. They used to be friends, a long time ago Effy had been there and then after the reunion. But other than throwing Effy out, Naomi had never really stopped to think about the life she led.

"Where are you living at the moment?"

"With my mum," Effy stated, a slight, genuine smile appearing on her face. "She can be a handful, but she's happy that I'm giving her a grandchild. She's given up hope my brother will ever reproduce."

The slight, awkward laugh made Naomi think that maybe things weren't as okay as Effy made them out to be.

"Is that going okay?"

"It's better than nothing, I can't really afford to live anywhere on my own."

"What about Freddie? Has he finally given in yet?"

Effy nodded, "He will accept that the baby is his. He says he'll be there for it, when it's born. Other than sending him a copy of the scan he's been on the outside of it all."

A silence fell on them. It wasn't uncomfortable, but it wasn't great either. Naomi sipped on her glass of coke and watched Effy mirror her actions. The brunette was staring at her in that observant way she always liked to, analysing the things around her before anyone could even think them.

"You got the girl then?" Effy laughed.

Naomi let her lips curl at the sides, "Emily and I are back together, yes."

"Everything you ever wanted, both of you."

"Still noticing everything?" Naomi chuckled, relaxing more in Effy's presence.

"Of course."

"Have you figured out what my next plan is with Emily?" Naomi raised an eyebrow, testing Effy.

She just shook her head and drank the water. It made Naomi smile. Even Effy didn't know everything, didn't know things unless they happened right under her nose or not far from.

"We're moving to the US for a year," Naomi informed her. "Emily has a job opportunity."

"Wow, big change."

"It is, but it's a good change."

*

Sleeping had never really been a problem, knowing Emily was beside her, their bodies usually tangled up closely connected. It provided enough comfort to give Naomi the kind of sleep anyone would wish for. Things were changing, the weeks were flying by and leaving was dangerously close. It worried her, confused her, sent her mind into a million different directions. Questioning the success of their decision, questioning whether Lexie would settle, questioning how much Harley really understood about the changes they were about to embark upon. They were all things that had kept her awake for long after climbing into bed. Eventually Naomi had fallen asleep, Emily's chest rising and falling gently under her grasp. But the moment she woke, the night still nowhere near over, the body beside her was gone.

"Emily?" she whispered into the dark, hoping she'd just gone to the bathroom. But after no response, she climbed out of bed, slid on some clothes and worked her way through the house until she spotted the tiny light still on in the kitchen.

Under any other circumstances Naomi would have gone over, wrapped an arm around Emily's shoulder and kissed her neck until she followed her back upstairs. Emily wasn't just stood there leaning against the kitchen counter, she was staring into a mug looking like she'd not moved in a couple of hours.

"Have you slept at all?" Naomi questioned, remembering a brief moment the night before where she'd felt for Emily's body and couldn't find it, had tried to consciously remember that she wasn't in their bed, but was too much asleep to really focus on it.

Emily didn't respond, didn't even acknowledge that she was there. Naomi took a deep breath and moved across the kitchen, removing the space between them as she rested her fingers across Emily's neck. It usually excited Emily, sent her head into a spin and within seconds they were usually so close, their bodies sliding together in a passionate clinch. It shocked Naomi when Emily's shoulders hunched further over the mug, shaking as tears slid from her face and bounced into the drink.

"Hey, what's happened?" Naomi whispered, rubbing her back. "Is something wrong with Katie? The baby? James's girlfriend?"

The jerking of sobs were scaring her, Emily never fell apart, not since they had got back together at least. They were happy, things were good, despite their fears and worries about the move, they were in a good place. The only reason Naomi could find for Emily's intense emotions was the possibility of something bad having happened.

"I can't stand this," Emily finally whispered, pushing the mug away and resting her head against the counter. "I can't stand not talking to her, not having her here."

It was breaking her heart. She didn't expect anything other than the break up of her marriage the year before, to ever be so difficult. Emily couldn't help think of Katie, couldn't stop the thoughts from going over and over in her head.

Naomi sighed, slid herself around Emily to provide her with some comfort, "Katie will come round, she always does."

Emily pulled away from the counter, turned in Naomi's grasp and pushed her face against Naomi's chest, "I'm no so sure anymore."

If she was completely honest, she wanted to go around to Katie's house and tell her sister that the arguing was to stop right now, give her a hug and them return to the way things were. But it wasn't like she could just apologise and fix everything. Besides, she was mad at her sister, still really angry at Katie for suggesting that their lives were supposed to be joined.

"What is this really about?" Naomi whispered, running her hands through Emily's hair. "You and Katie don't talk all the time, you're like cats and dogs. What's so different about this argument?"

The answer was already clear in Naomi's mind, she didn't need telling. But she knew that Emily needed to recognise her feelings, acknowledge what it was that was breaking her heart about the things with Katie.

"I'm scared," Emily sobbed, pulling back as Naomi slid the tears from her face. "I'm scared that she won't be there when we leave."

Naomi cupped her wife's cheeks, "It's okay to be scared, but unless you do something about it, it might happen."

"I know."

She did know, had always known that she wasn't helping the situation. Katie was strong, too strong to back down most of the time. Emily had always known that about her stubborn sister, she had their mother's stubbornness and their father's passion for projects. Where Emily hadn't inherited either aspects of their parentage. Had instead gained the passiveness her father possessed and the passion for her family she knew her mother had deep down, behind her aggressive nature, another thing Katie seemed to have got.

"Katie was right," Emily cried, turning away from Naomi, ashamed to be admitting that the argument was based on everything she herself felt but Katie had been brave enough to voice. "I don't want to leave her, I don't want to leave her when she needs me so much. It's always been us, it's always been me and Katie."

Naomi sighed, wrapped her arms around Emily's back and kissed her neck. "It always will be, you don't have to be in the same country to be close."

"It helps though."

"You need to make things right Emily," Naomi sighed, resting her head gently between Emily's shoulder blades.

"I know."

**Author Notes: So I don't like the idea of ending this story. If I have enough ideas that build up a good story then I may have to do another part in the future. For now my original ending after this story stands, but who knows what the future may bring.**

**Feel free to review.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Anyone got enough sellotape to help McIzzieFan stick the twins back together? Katie's bump is really causing problems. Thanks for the wonderful reviews, you guys rock so much.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Two**

There were some things people knew they had to do no matter what, even if they were scared of the result. Emily turned up at Katie's house as soon as she could get out of work. The first time she knocked there was no answer. For a moment she thought Katie was purposefully not opening the door, but then the door swung open and her twin sister appeared looking tired. The moment she spotted Emily on her doorstep, she looked confused.

"Please can I come in, just for a minute."

Katie stepped aside, but with her large bump doubling her profile it actually left little room for Emily to slip through. The physical contact with Katie and the bump that would eventually be her nephew left Emily wanting to cry.

"I'm well busy so make it quick," Katie finally spoke when they were sat in the lounge.

Emily couldn't help notice the baby things spread out across the floor. It looked like the beginning of a charity sale except everything for sale was old, tattered or stained.

"What?" Katie snapped, noticing the look on Emily's face as she scanned the room. "We're having a clear out."

Emily just nodded with a slight smile before sitting down between a perfectly good baby bouncer and a pile of questionable baby grows.

"I hope you're getting rid of most of this crap," Emily laughed gently, hoping to lighten the mood.

The plan backfired as Katie looked on the verge of tears, "It's not crap, most of it is perfectly fine," she snapped, aggressively.

"Okay," Emily whispered, regretting even opening her mouth.

"So what did you want?" Katie asked, waddling over to the chair beside the door and lowering herself onto it.

Before Emily could even consider speaking the things in her mind an almighty crash came from upstairs. Katie pulled herself back up with an irate look on her face.

"William Robert Dixon, you get your little butt downstairs right now."

Within seconds the little boy appeared in the doorway, his red hair longer than it had ever been, a look of guilt glistening in his eyes which were almost tearing up through fear.

"What was that noise?" Katie snapped.

"Nothing," he mumbled, looking at the ground as he spoke.

Katie laughed, "Nothing? Not that pile of CDs and DVDs your dad spent hours organising in our bedroom?"

Williams eyes grew wide with surprise, "I," he began but Katie brushed him off.

"You had better go back upstairs and put them back into piles and then when daddy comes home you're going to explain to him why they need reorganising again. Do you understand me?"

William nodded, a regretful look spreading across his face as he disappeared out of the room after cautiously saying hello to Emily. It made her smile, always made her happy to be around her sister's family when she watched them share a conversation. It hurt so much to know she wouldn't get to see them for a whole year, scared her more that Katie might never forgive her for leaving.

"I don't want it to be like this," she cried, tears filling her eyes before she could stop them.

"Well it is," Katie snarled. "And whose fault do you think that is?"

"Katie please," Emily begged, biting her lip to stop the tears from falling.

"You've been here five minutes and already you've caused trouble, so you might as well just go."

"What?" Emily gasped, not expecting the short fuse that Katie seemed to have.

"Fuck off already, not just from here, from this country. You might as well go now, just fuck off."

There were many things that Emily wanted to say in response; an apology, an angry retort. But the front door banged shut and Howard appeared in the doorway. The words quickly slipped out of her brain as she stormed past Howard, a mumbled goodbye as Emily rushed from the house, her tears now streaming down her face.

*

Two green eyes were staring up her, looking her up and down. Katie was trying to ignore them, but Howard was too good at interrogating her without words.

"Fuck off," she snapped, lowering herself onto the sofa that Emily had recently vacated, feeling the warmth she'd left.

"You guys didn't work things out then?" Howard asked, more of a statement that an actual question.

"You already know that, so fuck off," Katie snapped, her bite turning to sobs as her body shook with tears.

It was his responsibility to protect her, no matter how much in the wrong he knew she was. Moving towards her, he knelt on the floor and took her hands, squeezing them gently in support.

"I'm such a stupid fucking idiot," Katie cried out as she tried to let Howard hold her, their bodies not quite fitting with her bump. He pushed the baby things aside so he could squeeze onto the sofa, wrapping his arms around her side instead whilst she rested her head against his chest.

"No you're not," he tried.

"I am, she comes around here to make things right and all I can do is fucking shout at her, tell her to just go now. I don't want her to go at all, let alone now."

It was difficult to watch Katie get so upset, so broken at the recent conversation with Emily. It wasn't all hormones, Howard wished he could blame it on such, but she was so tightly wound by the talk that it had to be more than that.

"Katie you need to calm down, to relax, this stress isn't good for our son in there," Howard began, running a hand across her stomach as the baby kicked and moved about. It made him smile, always made him happy to feel his baby moving inside Katie.

"I know," she cried. "I just can't help it. I keep making stupid mistakes, I keep pushing her further away and I don't want that. I can't lose her."

Howard's fingers slid across her cheeks brushing away her tears, cupping her face until their eyes connected and Katie melted in her husband's embrace.

*

For several nights in a row Naomi woke up to an empty bed. The first night she called out to Emily then searched the house, the second night she called out then headed for the kitchen. The rest, the moment she noticed Emily absent from their bed, she went straight to the kitchen where Emily was sat in front of her laptop.

"Emily, it's three in the morning, come to bed," Naomi sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Shh, I'm in a meeting," Emily mumbled.

"Why now?" Naomi frowned. "It's the middle of the night."

Emily smiled at the laptop. "Okay, thank you very much Mr Kasaki. I look forward to meeting you next month."

The laptop closed and Emily twisted around in her seat to face Naomi. She didn't want to be up at three in the morning, especially not when she had to get up for work at six thirty. She just couldn't sleep, hadn't really been able to sleep at all for a while.

"Why are you taking meetings at three in the morning?" Naomi tried again.

"Because even though it's three here, it's only seven there," Emily informed her.

"Seven in the evening Emily. You could have done this three hours ago and still been in bed for a decent amount of sleep."

Emily rolled her eyes, "What are you moaning for? You were asleep, you didn't even notice I was gone."

"Why do you think I'm down here?" Naomi stated. "Of course I noticed."

There was silence. Emily unplugged her laptop and slid it back into its bag with the lead. She dropped the bag carefully on the table beside her work bag and went to fill the kettle.

"Coffee?" she asked, pulling two cups from the cupboard.

Naomi sighed, "No wonder you're still up drinking that stuff in the middle of the night. What is with this sudden surge in work?"

"It's not a surge," Emily responded. "The new office opens in less than nine weeks. I need to be ready for that."

"Not at the expense of your sleep," Naomi informed her, sliding in front of the kettle and removing the coffee jar. "I won't let you."

"I just want a quick drink before bed, there's no harm in that," Emily sighed.

"There is when it'll keep you wired until you actually have to get up for work," Naomi pointed out. "You should be spending time with your family, not working yourself to the bone. We leave in eight weeks. Surely some of that time is allowed to be spent saying goodbye to the people we care about."

Naomi was right, it was difficult to actually deny that. Emily didn't want to work, didn't really want to push herself into something that quite frankly wasn't vital. With everything as it was with Katie, she just needed to focus on something that didn't involve thinking about everything that was inside of her head.

"There's plenty of time for that," Emily informed her, taking the coffee jar and filling her mug.

"You're warn out Emily. I know you think you're okay, but you haven't even slept in nearly a week."

"I'm fine," Emily assured her.

Naomi just shook her head, "You're not. This is about Katie isn't it?"

Emily slammed the coffee jar against the counter, her fairly reasonable mood now gone. "Stop making everything about her Naomi, the world doesn't revolve around my selfish fucking sister."

Naomi took a deep breath, "Don't do this."

"Don't do what?" Emily asked, confused.

"Don't start something with me Emily," Naomi stated sternly. "You're pissed off at Katie because she's right, you're scared to leave her. You can't start mouthing off at me for even suggesting it's still bothering you. That's not fair."

"Who says it still bothers me?" Emily snapped.

"Fucking hell Emily, for once just realise that you are upset, acknowledge what you feel, don't hide from it. Or maybe you really will lose Katie forever."

It was too late in the night for Naomi to watch her words, would usually be quite careful with Emily. It was difficult, it was always going to be difficult. But it was getting a little frustrating. Naomi just shook her head and left Emily alone.

*

The closer Katie got to giving birth, the harder it was for Howard to sleep with her in his arms. He'd missed it, really missed the close contact they hadn't had a chance to have due to his accident. In the mornings he'd watch her sleeping, resting a hand on her belly until the baby responded to his touch.

"I think he knows when you're awake," Katie grinned, turning over to face Howard and greet him with a gentle kiss.

"Sorry, did we wake you?"

Katie shrugged, "It's not that easy to sleep with a bump this size."

"Twenty six weeks today," he sighed, kissing her hand and resting it on the baby bump.

"I can't believe we have two and a half months left," Katie sighed. "And only six weeks with," she trailed off.

It wasn't the first thing she wanted to think about, was never something she really wanted to consciously process. Emily's move was hard enough, but to acknowledge it so often in Katie's mind just made the whole thing harder. Howard stroked her cheeks, pressed his lips against hers until she pushed the thought aside and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"This is nice," she mumbled into kisses, letting her lips and tongue do the talking.

"Is it wrong to want to do it right now?" Howard questioned, his lips pressing kisses against her neck until she moaned softly against his ear.

"Keep going," she whispered, allowing him full control of the situation.

It had been months since she'd felt his mouth on her skin, since his hands had explored her body removing anything between his touch and her bare body. It wasn't easy, with the bump between them, but at the same time it made it more sensual. Howard's hands travelled along the bump, planting kisses down her enlarged belly.

"I love you so much," she whimpered, his lips creating a fire between them.

"Love you too," he moaned, removing his boxers until their skin was completing touching.

He took it slow, his energy level still not back to normal, but good enough to be gentle and take his time. Howard let his lips join Katie's again, pushing himself against her as best as he could until their desire reached it's ultimate level and they collapsed against the bed, satisfied for the first time in months by their passion for each other.

*

The house was a lot tidier when Katie opened the door to Naomi. It was a surprise, similar to the shock of seeing Emily at her door. Everything that had previously been scattered around the living room was neatly put away, binned or sent off to a charity shop. They'd worked hard, it helped that Katie was finding her nesting instincts taking over, forcing her to do everything she could to create a tidy home for the baby.

"Tea? Coffee?" Katie asked, leading Naomi into the kitchen where Howard and William were doing a jigsaw at the table.

"Tea please." Naomi smiled, sitting down beside Will. "Oh that looks fun."

"It's a race car," William informed her. "Like the cars on the Playstation."

Katie rolled her eyes, "They have the same cars on Formula One, which is better."

It wasn't a normal sentence for Katie to choose which made Naomi laugh. The red head glared at her, whilst stirring milk into the drinks. Eventually she placed them on the table and suggested she and William go find some of his old toys to give to charity.

"They're looking for donations for a charity sale at church." Howard informed her. "Unfortunately we found out about it after we'd sent a load of William's baby things to a charity shop."

Naomi chuckled slightly, "She looks good."

"Looks and is are two different things. She's healthy, but you know," he shrugged.

"I know," Naomi nodded. "I don't think Emily is coping with this either, whatever it is."

Howard looked up to the ceiling letting out a long puff of air before returning his gaze to Naomi. He sipped on his coffee, blowing the hot liquid.

"It's not good Naomi, Emily tried to fix it the other day but Katie just knocked her right back down. She's struggling with this too."

"Emily came here?" Naomi frowned.

"She didn't tell you?"

Naomi sighed, "She's been focused on her work recently, I figured it was to do with Katie. I didn't realise she'd been knocked down again."

"Turning into quite a workaholic, isn't she?" Howard smiled.

"She's scared Howard," Naomi told him, rubbing the side of her head as she felt the onset of a headache. "She doesn't want to go without fixing this."

"Katie feels the same way, not that she'll admit it. She keeps saying things, suggesting she cares too much about it, but when push comes to shove she won't budge."

It was stressful, an almost deadlocked situation where both twins wouldn't move. Naomi remembered all of the times Emily said Katie had inherited their mother's stubbornness, little did she seem to realise that she had it too. She just gave in a lot sooner, which was why Emily was the one to make the first move. Unfortunately Katie's stubborn streak, added with pregnancy hormones was a lot stronger.

"They're more alike than they ever choose to admit," Howard rolled his eyes, which made Naomi laugh.

"It's about time we did something this, I don't know how much longer I can watch Emily slowly fall apart. They need each other and if we don't do something about this soon I think this could be really detrimental to their relationship."

*

The house was empty when Naomi arrived home. Emily's laptop lay on the table, so Naomi flipped it open to check her emails and browse a few websites. She got so into what she was doing that she didn't even hear the door open, didn't hear the ruckus from the kids and didn't realise Emily was stood behind her until she spoke.

"The Silver House Trust, what's that?"

Naomi jumped and by instinct closed the laptop, "God, Ems, you scared me."

"Sorry, didn't realise we were being so quiet," Emily laughed. "What are you looking at?"

"Just a few websites," Naomi shrugged, not sure why Emily was so friendly when their recent disagreement had not actually been resolved.

The fingers on Emily's hands slid across her shoulders, wrapping themselves around Naomi's upper body before she could stop them. Naomi sighed and moved her head away from Emily's lips which were attempting to land on her cheek.

"What?" Emily asked, loosing her grip in order to sit down beside Naomi.

"Forgotten about last night already?" Naomi snapped. "You can't just kiss me and expect it to be okay."

"I'm sorry," Emily told her, taking her hand and holding it between her own. "I really am."

"Why didn't you tell me you went round to see Katie?"

Emily sounded anything but sure of herself, "Nothing came of it."

"You still should have told me."

"Like you're telling me everything on your mind right now?" Emily questioned, lifting the lid of the laptop.

"Don't act like this is all my thing Emily," Naomi snapped, pushing the lid of the laptop closed again. "I don't even know what's in my mind right now, when I do know, you'll be the first and only person I tell."

They'd gotten into another pattern of secrecy and it was unproductive. Emily knew she was to blame, knew she was the only person really keeping anything from Naomi. She wanted to, desperately wanted to share everything, but it was difficult to admit her own flaws.

"I need her," Emily sighed. "I just need her back."

Another influx of tears arrived only this time Emily didn't expect Naomi to comfort her, even pulled herself away from Naomi's side to show her that it didn't matter that she be there. It was happening too much lately and Naomi couldn't make it any better, no matter how hard she tried. Emily stood on the other side of the room.

"You've been more than I could have ever asked you to be through all of this," she whispered, filling the kettle.

"You two really need to make some changes," Naomi informed her.

"I know. I tried, but she is so stubborn."

A small laugh escaped Naomi's lips, "Howard is working on her."

The gap between them was annoying Naomi, she didn't want Emily to think she didn't care enough to support her. Was always happy to comfort her no matter what. She stood up and met Emily on the other side of the room, slid her arms around her wife's waist and held her close.

"Don't keep me out of the loop," she whispered. "We need to always talk."

"I know," Emily sighed, her head resting against Naomi's chest. "I'll try harder."

**Author Notes: Fancy reviewing?**


	33. Chapter 33

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you sooo much for the reviews for the last chapter...this chapter I've been waiting ages to write it, it's been planned for a while, so well done if you even thought any of what is going to happen. Enjoy...and please leave a lovely little review once you're done.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Three**

"Where are we going?" Emily questioned.

Naomi was sat beside her in the driver's seat, her feet on the accelerator and her hands clutching the wheel. They'd been driving for only a few minutes and the blonde was staying silent about their destination.

"Come on Naomi, I have things I need to be doing, I can't waste any time going on a wild goose chase."

"It's not a wild goose chase," Naomi informed her. "And you have time for this."

The car turned into a street, Katie's street. It was immediately obvious what they were there for, or so Emily assumed as Naomi pulled up outside the house. Howard answered the door, didn't even look surprised as he let them into the house.

"Where's Katie?" Naomi asked.

"She's in the nursery," Howard informed them. "Maybe we should go up?"

Emily raised an eyebrow, "She doesn't know I'm here does she?"

"You two need to work things out," Naomi reminded her. "Please."

All of the things Emily imagined Naomi had planned for the day, a forced reunion with Katie was not one of them. The three of them walked up the stairs and entered the nursery. Katie was sat on a chair clutching a blanket in one hand and a needle and thread in the other. Had they not still been in a fight, Emily would have commented on the activity she'd never seen her sister partake in before.

"I'll go make some drinks," Howard informed them. Emily rolled her eyes as Naomi made an excuse and followed him.

Emily turned to watch Katie, waiting patiently for her sister to make a comment or at least greet her. When said greeting didn't happen Emily just shrugged her shoulders and hovered by the door. A few minutes later Howard returned with a tray full of snacks and a couple of cartons of juice.

"What is this a picnic for ten?" Emily laughed, noticing Naomi stood in the doorway her lip clipped under a tooth. It wasn't just something her wife did to attract her attention, she also did it when she was nervous.

"What's going on?" Emily asked, noticing that Naomi was more aware than she'd previously let on.

As though sensing that something was happening, Katie put down her sewing and stood up to join her sister. She looked to Howard with a look of confusion as he stared back unsurely.

"I'm really sorry to do this," Howard began, stepping towards the door as he spoke. "We don't really think we have any other choice though."

"We?" Emily asked, looking to Naomi for confirmation. "Naomi?"

"We're leaving in four weeks Emily, you two really need to fix whatever it is that's going on between you," she inputted.

"You're both scared," Howard informed them from the doorway. "You both want to make things right, so do it."

The door closed behind them leaving Emily and Katie staring at it with confusion. Eventually Howard's voice came from the other side, apologising again. Emily could sense something big was happening but she couldn't quite figure out what.

"Sorry for what?" Emily asked.

"You can't come out until you've sorted things out," Naomi spoke through the door as Howard slid the bolt across the top of the door.

Katie was fuming, "What?"

She waddled across the room, struggling to walk as she made her way to the door, attempting to open it with several failed attempts, before banging on it with frustration. She didn't like what was happening.

"You can't do this Howie," she screamed. "I'm pregnant, it's not fair on me."

"You'd best get talking then," he informed her. "We'll be back soon, we need to drop William off at his friend's house."

It was a mean thing to do, Howard concluded. He didn't feel happy about leaving Katie locked in a room, let alone locked in a room which had no toilet whilst she was pregnant. It was the only choice he could see that they had. They'd wracked their brains for ideas on how to bring the twins back together and nothing seemed to have been plausible. It had been a throwaway comment by Naomi, a joke that in the end seemed like their only option.

"Howie," Katie screamed again, banging on the door, but there was no answer.

"Don't stress yourself out," Emily whispered, moving across the room to the chair that Katie had been sat in.

The sewing that Katie had been doing lay on the arm. Emily sat down and pulled the blue blanket into her hands, tracing the letters that Katie was sewing onto it. Butterflies jumped about in her stomach as she realised how much she was missing not being present in the past few weeks of Katie's life.

"Joseph?" she whispered, repeatedly running her fingers across the letter J.

A small nod from Katie confirmed the name of the baby. Katie leant against the wall, her hand rubbing her stomach as her face creased up with frustration. Emily replaced the blanket on the arm of the chair and watched her sister, searching for the best way to handle their imprisonment.

"William and Joseph," she mumbled, trying the name out in the hope of getting used to it.

Noticing how unfair it was that she be sat in the only seat, Emily stood up and offered it to her sister. Katie muttered a comment about not needing her sympathy, but took the seat anyway, clutching her side as she seated herself down.

"Are you okay?" Emily asked, worried that Howard and Naomi's plan was having a negative effect on her sister.

Katie rolled her eyes, "Just a kick."

"Can I," Emily began, cautiously. "Can I feel?"

Katie nodded her head slightly, "This doesn't mean I forgive you for leaving."

"Didn't think it would," Emily chuckled.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Despite the fairly successful moment between them Katie was still feeling on edge about the whole thing. She didn't like the idea of being stuck in a room with no way out, regardless of whether or not she was pregnant. Being pregnant just made her feel worse.

Emily looked pained, "Nothing, just that you don't forgive easily."

It offended her. Katie had never liked hearing what people thought about her, how they perceived her ideas and opinions. She was growing fiercely territorial about her self and with the fight with Emily still looming between them, she didn't care to make it harder.

"I can," she tried, her voice quiet.

Emily rolled her eyes, "I,"

The sentence was cut off by Katie, who's hands instinctively reached down to her stomach. Emily's eyes grew wide as her sister looked in pain, leaning over as best as she could, her breath growing deeper.

"That's not just a kick, surely?" Emily questioned, moving her hand across the bump and feeling nothing.

"It is," Katie cried out, her fingers clenching her skin. "Ow."

Emily frowned, "Katie?"

"What are those false contraction things supposed to feel like?"

"Braxton Hicks?" Emily asked. Katie nodded. "Kind of like muscle cramp."

"It well hurts," she cried out, rubbing her belly.

Emily bit her lip, "It's okay, they can be pretty painful sometimes. Come sit down over here."

There weren't many things Emily knew about the actual medical details of the birth process, other than what she'd learnt with the birth of William and Harley. The rocking chair was a nice place to sit, but she figured the carpeted floor would probably be more comfortable. The problems between them slipped into Emily's mind, before she pushed them away. Anything to bring them closer together was surely positive, even if it meant Katie was struggling with the pain of Braxton Hicks.

"How are you doing?" Emily questioned, rubbing Katie's back as she sat against the wall.

"Better," Katie sighed, rubbing her belly.

The pain subsided and though she knew she should probably tell Emily that she was no longer feeling like her insides were trying to escape, she allowed her sister to rub her back as they sat close together. She'd missed her, missed the helping side of Emily that always made her feel better about things. When the pain had finally fully settled down and Katie was about to ask Emily for a drink, a griping pain seared through her again and she screamed out in discomfort.

"Was that another one?" Emily questioned, her hands sliding to Katie's shoulders.

Katie nodded, "It was stronger."

"Have you had these before?" Emily whispered, brushing Katie's hair behind her ears.

"I don't know," she muttered. "I've been having like a cramping feeling for a few days. But nothing like this, I feel like the baby is stabbing me from the inside it's that strong."

A number of things were crossing Emily's mind but she brushed them aside as she continued to rub Katie's back. Her sister was clutching her stomach in a protective way, muttering for the baby to settle down and give her a break. It made Emily smile.

Emily pulled back from Katie, "When was the first one?"

"I first felt it when I woke up, then every once in a while before you came, then again about ten minutes later," Katie informed her.

"It's not been long since the last," Emily noted, pulling out her mobile phone and looking at the time.

"What is it?" Katie asked, clutching Emily's wrist, before squeezing twice as hard as the pain increased.

"Somewhere between five and seven minutes," Emily stated, dropping her phone and rubbing Katie's back.

"What?"

The whole thing wasn't making much sense. She felt mostly fine, other than the griping pain every once in a while. Katie let go of Emily's wrist, apologising for squeezing so tight as she struggled to pull herself up from the floor. Eventually Emily helped and she walked across the room.

"When are they going to get back? I need the toilet."

Emily smiled slightly, "I can't imagine they'll be much longer."

"That's easy for you to say," Katie snapped. "You don't have a baby pressing on your bladder."

She nodded, pausing for a moment, "I am sorry, you know?!"

The apology was a small offering, Katie stopped in mid-pace as she turned to nod slightly at Emily. She rested her hands against her bump, standing still opposite her sister. There were so many things she wanted to say.

"I know," she sighed, not getting much further when the pain increased again. Katie leant forwards an arm resting on her bump as her other hand reached towards her back.

"It's getting closer together," Emily stated, moving closer, sliding a hand around Katie's side to support her.

Katie frowned, the pain strengthening with every gripe, "What?"

"It's not Braxton Hicks Katie," she informed her, before awaiting the reaction.

If it wasn't Braxton Hicks, there was only one other thing it could be. Realising it came like daggers being thrown at a board. Katie could feel her throat closing up with panic, tears filled her eyes and she looked up at Emily nervously.

"I can't be," she moaned, "I'm almost twenty nine weeks, that's too soon."

"It's going to be okay," Emily cooed, rubbing her back again.

The confidence in Emily's voice showed little comparison to the confidence she felt. But the look on Katie's face, the worry that she was projecting was enough for Emily to take up the roll of being confident. She helped Katie to the floor again, assisting her in sitting down against the wall in the hope it would provide some comfort.

"There's still a way to go," Emily informed her. "I think you're about four minutes apart at the moment."

Within minutes Katie was on her hands and knees panting through another contraction, Emily supporting her, helping her to breath as best as she could. It was hard to believe it was happening, that the baby was coming early.

"I hope they're back now," Emily snapped, hearing a noise downstairs. She got to her feet and banged on the door.

Katie lay back against the wall, gripping the carpet with her fingers, "I need a hospital."

"We'll get you there soon," Emily responded, banging on the door again and trying the handle.

It was like a nightmare coming true. As Emily wiggled the handle, forcing it to move as she pulled hard. Unfortunately it slipped off the doorframe, a loud clunk signalling the handle on the other side also falling off. Emily bit her lip, hoping it wasn't a very functioning handle.

"Fuck," she groaned. "Katie why is the door handle now not on the door?"

Katie scrunched up her eyes as she started to cry, "Howard was painting the door."

"It's okay," Emily assured her, banging hard against the wood.

"No it's fucking not," Katie screamed, her hands rubbing her eyes.

"It will be."

"No," Katie shook her head. "My waters have broken."

The confidence Emily had felt was slowly slipping away. She reached out to the door, banging on it again until two voices could be heard on the other side.

"We're not letting you out until you've sorted things," Howard laughed.

"Just open the door," Emily snapped, hoping the urgency in her voice would make them do it.

"Ems I love you but you need to sort this out first," Naomi laugh.

Emily's voice came out harsher than she expected, "Katie's in labour you fucking idiots."

The bolt on the door slid back, Howard desperately tried to open the door to get to his wife. But when the door was free from the lock, he tried to push it open, unsuccessfully. Panic started to rise in his chest. The whole thing had turned into a mess. Katie wasn't supposed to be in labour, she was only just past the seven month mark. There was no way things could have progressed so much in only half an hour.

"I can't open it," Howard called out, banging the door with his fists.

"Howard, calm down," Naomi muttered, resting a hand on his shoulder. But he could feel himself losing control.

"I can't fucking calm down when she's in there like this," he snapped, before stopping himself, breathing deeply to control his outburst. "I'm sorry, but I need to be with her."

"I know," Naomi sighed. "Getting angry isn't going to help. Where do you keep your screwdrivers?"

The contractions were getting closer together, each one lasting for over a minute. The labour was progressing quickly. Katie was listening to Emily explain what was happening, talking about what they might have to do if they can't get an ambulance there in time. It made her cry, which made her scream as another contraction hit.

"It's okay," Emily muttered, tying Katie's hair back with an elastic band she found on the floor. "Everything is going to be fine."

"How can you say that?" Katie sobbed. "This whole thing is a fucking mess. I'm wet, I'm in pain and I want Howard."

Emily nodded her head, rubbing Katie's arm, "I know, just remember that he's on the other side of that door."

The door seemed to be made of something extremely strong. When Naomi appeared with a toolbox, talking to someone on the phone about the incident, Howard stopped his attempt to break the door with his body. He rested against it, spent by the exertion.

"There's an ambulance and the fire brigade on their way," Naomi informed him, giving him a gentle squeeze before kneeling down and inserting a screwdriver into the hole left by the door handle.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing?" Howard asked, Naomi shook her head but carried on working. Howard stood by the door, resting a hand against the wood, "Katie, can you hear me?"

"Howie?" she screamed back, resting on her hands and knees again as she fought through another contraction. "I want you here."

"I want to be there too," he assured her, tears reaching his eyes.

Katie's eyes grew wide with fear, staring at Emily, "I feel like I need to push."

It wasn't what she wanted to hear. In fact it was the last thing she'd hoped. Emily pulled away from her sister, paced the room for a moment as she told her not to push. The memory of her own labour, or Naomi's labour, where the midwife told them to push when they were ready. Everything was different now though. They didn't have a hospital team around them, they didn't have any towels or hot water. It was just Katie and Emily, in a room, alone. She took a deep breath and moved towards her sister.

"I want you to lie whichever way is comfortable, it might be easier for you to be on your back," she informed her, trying to maintain a level of calm.

"My back is good," Katie whispered, resting against the wall as Emily helped her to take off her trousers and underwear off.

"You're going to have to open your legs."

In any other circumstance Emily would probably have been embarrassed to see her sister in all her glory. The second she looked down all she could see was a small head awaiting the moment it could enter the world. She felt sick. There were things people did because they had to, events that took them by surprise and forced them to complete a task they wouldn't normally think possible. It suddenly occurred to Emily that she was going to be one of those people. Her nephew's head was right there, Katie's body tensing up as she reached another contraction.

"Okay, you need to push when you're ready," Emily informed her, letting her clench her hand tightly as she took part in the miracle of birth.

"What's happening?" Howard shouted from the door, still panicked by what was happening.

"She's not going to be able to wait for the ambulance," Emily updated them, reaching out to the tiny head that was slowly appearing.

"Katie, are you okay?" Howard called out again.

"I'm okay," she called back, breathing deeply in the hope of conserving energy before the next contraction.

They grew quiet, the only person talking was Emily as she coached her sister through the second process of labour. At some point between Katie's contraction and catching the baby in her arms, Emily could hear the doorbell. It was a relief. Then one final push and the baby was in her arms, wriggling about as he made little noises and tiny cries. For a moment Emily was too mesmerised by the tiny boy she'd delivered into the world, before she finally snapped out of it and handed him to his mother. Sounds of delight and excitement could be heard coming from the other side of the door. The two sisters were both crying as Emily sat down beside her, allowing Katie's head to rest against her own as they looked down at the baby.

"He's gorgeous Katie," Emily muttered, kissing Katie's cheek. "You did so well."

"Thanks to you," Katie sighed, feeling more tired than she'd ever felt in her life.

Emily let her lips curl up at the side, "I don't think Joseph was going to let me leave with being here for his birth."

Katie laughed, noting the irony, "I'm sorry too Ems, for everything. I just want you to be happy."

Emily just shook her head, wrapping an arm around Katie's shoulders. "There's plenty of time for apologies."

Right on cue, as if perfectly planned, a man shouted for them to be away from the door before it smashed open, banging hard against the wall. Howard rushed into the room ahead of everyone else, stopping in his tracks as he caught sight of his newborn son settled in Katie's arms. Emily pulled away, allowing Howard to replace her as they bonded with their new son.

Naomi stared at Emily with a grin, her arm outstretched, "You two happier?"

Emily scoffed, almost in a daze at the last few hours, a silly grin planted on her face, "I just delivered a baby."

The blonde laughed at Emily, pulling her into her arms as they shared a brief embrace. They turned to watch the family in front of them; all looking very tired but with huge smiles.

"Joseph," Katie whispered, stroking the tuft of dark red hair on her child's head, "This is your daddy."

Howard accepted the little boy into his arms as the paramedics cut the cord, "Our little miracle."

**Author Notes: Does anyone know how tiring it actually is to write a birth scene? Man. I'm almost as tired as Katie. Who's happy with how this ended up? :-P**


	34. Chapter 34

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you reviewers, you rock. If I don't get ready I'll be late, so I'll love you and leave you...feel free to review on the way out.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Four**

"You had him in the nursery?" Jenna questioned, looking anything but thrilled.

"I couldn't help it," Katie paused. "Howard and Naomi locked me and Emily in there."

"Please tell me you at least had a midwife or doctor with you."

"Emily delivered him."

Jenna Fitch looked from one daughter to her other with her eyes wide, her pupils growing and her mouth part way open. The call she'd received only an hour earlier to inform her that she now had a second grandson came completely out of the blue. It was quite inconvenient since she was in the middle of writing down a shopping list for when she headed to the supermarket. All plans were put on hold so that she could meet her daughters, son-in-law and grandson at the hospital.

"You are going to give me a heart attack," she gasped. "Where is he anyway?"

"They had to take him to the neonatal unit," Howard informed her. "He is almost eight weeks early."

The room grew silent, no one really knew what else to say on the matter. The joyous occasion wasn't entirely so and it made Jenna feel quite uncomfortably.

"You really delivered him?" she muttered, turning to Emily.

Emily laughed, "Yes, can't you see the colour of my top?"

The group laughed, even Jenna. Emily did look like she'd been in a bloody, gooey battle. If the whole thing hadn't led to the birth of her nephew, she'd have been quite pissed off at the thought of dry cleaning her shirt. It wasn't cheap either. But it was a small price to pay.

"Where's dad?" Katie asked, glancing towards the door. "And James?"

Jenna stepped forwards and brushed her daughter's hair back from her face, "They'll be along later. Dad's still at work and James sounded busy."

It was hard to believe that her daughters were in the positions they were in. Everything was changing so much. Emily was weeks away from moving to another country, starting a new life with her family. Katie was now a mother of two, nobody expected it to ever happen, nobody guessed there would be a second one. It made her feel so proud, so ecstatic at the thought of her children's happiness. As Jenna brushed Katie's hair back again, forcing it to stay like a headband, she bit the inside of her lip with the hope of stopping tears from falling.

*

Every action was completed on autopilot. The car was travelling along, stopping at red lights, setting off again at green. It was pretty easy to do, it helped that Emily was driving to her old apartment.

"Remind me why we're doing this now?" Emily questioned.

"It was in today's plan right after you and Katie made up, we should give Katie and Howard some space so I thought why not still do it?!"

Emily smiled, glancing at Naomi briefly. She was right. After reuniting with Katie it was difficult to pull herself away, she wanted to spend every waking minute with her sister, for a couple of days at least. With her tucked up in a hospital bed for the day, that wasn't possible.

"Besides that midwife looked just about ready to kick everybody out," Naomi added.

They stopped talking, let a silence fall over them, during which Naomi watched Emily drive. It always amused her how the relatively small woman had to adjust the seat to make sure she could reach the accelerator. In fact if Naomi used Emily's car she'd end up annoyed at having to change everything back to her "usual settings". Sometimes she adjusted things just to watch Emily squirm. Emily wasn't quite as fun to watch, she was staring straight ahead, focused entirely on the road. She seemed lost in thought.

"What's on your mind?" Naomi asked.

"Katie and Joseph and," Emily replied, trailing off.

"And what?"

Emily just shrugged and slowed the car down as they approached a red light, "Nothing it doesn't matter."

"Emily!" Naomi stated, waiting for her to share whatever it was that was on her mind.

"Katie's children make me broody," the red head admitted.

Naomi just laughed, "So?"

"So, Katie having a baby makes me want one and we're in a really bad position right now to actually do that."

Naomi raised an eyebrow. They'd been back together for only a few weeks, the year's absence before not escaping Naomi's thoughts. Harley was wonderful, he was a blessing and she was thankful for him every single day. But the thought of making that step again so soon was quite terrifying.

"Would you…?" she questioned, her voice quiet and useless.

"I'd like to," Emily replied.

Another silence fell upon them. Naomi could feel Emily glancing at her, she took a deep breath and decided to just tell her the truth.

"I'm scared to have another baby."

"Why?" Emily asked, not taking her eyes off the road.

"Because of what happened with Harley, with me and Harley. I know that if you had the baby it would probably be different, but I'm still scared."

Emily sighed, "This conversation is a lot bigger than I thought it was going to be."

"Same," Naomi admitted.

"Can we pause and save it for later? Maybe tonight when the kids are in bed?"

It was a relief really to put it out of their minds, to stop thinking about it when they weren't really in a position to discuss it properly. Naomi turned the radio on, trying to bring something into the car to remove the tension that was beginning to build. She didn't like it, didn't like it all. But it was her own stupid fault for bringing it up.

*

Ten tiny fingers, ten perfect toes; a soft button nose that was a Fitch family requisite. The baby was perfect, at least that's what Howard thought. It was hard to believe he was there, in the outside world after what felt like the shortest pregnancy ever. It really was a miracle, a once in a lifetime chance of ever happening the way it did.

"Joseph," Howard whispered into the air around him.

"Are you okay with that?" Katie checked, resting a hand on his shoulder as she entered the room.

Howard turned under her grasp, pulled her round so that they were stood together, their youngest son resting in the incubator beside them. It should have bothered them that he needed to be in there and it did in some ways, but Katie couldn't help just be thankful that he was there at all, in their lives.

"It's perfect, he's perfect," Howard muttered, his hand resting on the small of her back.

She smiled a tired smile, "I'm glad."

"You're perfect," Howard continued, pulling her closer, wrapping his arms tightly around her body until he could feel her breath on his neck. "I didn't think it could be possible to love you anymore than I already did."

"Likewise," Katie sighed, relaxing in his arms, letting herself become so relaxed that a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"Are you crying?" he asked, holding her back, staring into her watery brown eyes.

She nodded, "I'm okay, I'm just so happy."

"Me too," Howard laughed, pulling her back in until Katie's head was resting on his chest and he could feel her heart beating through the hospital gown.

They finally turned their attention back to their baby boy. It was strange to be looking at him, to be watching his tiny arms moving around as he wriggled about. He looked so much like William, so much like all of them. The tuft of red hair now more prominent on top of his head. He was cleaner than he was the first time Katie held him, he looked happier and he was kicking his legs as much as he did when he was inside her womb.

"I miss feeling him inside me," Katie muttered, feeling guilty for even thinking it.

Howard just smiled, "Before you know it he'll be breastfeeding and it won't matter so much."

"I hope so," Katie sighed, resting a hand against the incubator.

It felt so cruel to have him in there, to keep him apart from them for any length of time. It wasn't how nature intended it. He was supposed to be in her arms, he was supposed to be clawing out at her skin as she fed him.

"Hello mum and dad," a nurse greeted them; Polly she'd introduced herself as.

"When can he come out?" Katie questioned, feeling her body tense up at the idea of him staying there.

"He is in there purely as a precaution," the woman explained, offering a seat to Katie, which she graciously took. "He was almost eight weeks premature which can be difficult on babies. But he was a big baby, he seems to have done most of his growing already."

"How long will he stay in there for?" Howard muttered.

"That all depends, we're currently assessing his oxygen levels. It is looking very promising, he's a real fighter."

"What about breastfeeding?" Katie whispered, feeling nervous for the first time. "Will he still be able to breastfeed?"

The nurse had a smile on her face, a sympathetic sort of smile that made Katie feel uncomfortable. It was her profession, she had to be nice to everybody, had to act like everything was okay just to put people at ease.

"I won't, will I?" she asked, feeling herself tear up, the days events completely draining her.

"On the contrary, there's a very good chance that you will be able to, at present we're not sure on how well your son would be able to handle suckling. Today we will be feeding him through a drip, for a few days at least. Then we can reassess the situation. In the time being you can express some milk."

It wasn't what she'd hoped for, but it was a relief no less. "Thank you."

An arm squeezed her shoulder, pulled her against Howard, his hand fixed tightly around her. He could sense her anxiety, could tell that she needed a bit of extra TLC. The nurse informed them of what they could do whilst Joseph was there, before leaving them alone. Katie pushed her face against Howard's chest, burrowing herself against him. Things had felt so perfect and even though Joseph was still a perfect, miracle baby, it was hard to know that he wasn't as healthy as they'd hoped.

*

It had been weeks since Emily and Naomi had set foot in the apartment. The television cabinet had a think layer of dust covering the top, a couple of plates with moulding food sat on the kitchen table. If it was anyone else's house, Emily would have commented on the dirtiness.

"Did we forget to clean up at new years?" Emily asked, tilting her head at the green mess on the table.

Naomi laughed, "I think we did."

"Remind me what we're doing here?" Emily muttered.

The apartment was no longer of use to them, they'd decided that it needed to be put on the market, in the hope of a quick sale before they moved. Naomi hadn't quite expected that the task of clearing the place out would be quite so difficult. The red head moved instinctively towards the kitchen cupboards, pulling out bottles of disinfectant, window cleaner and clothes.

"Pick a room, any room," Emily rolled her eyes.

"I'll take the lounge," Naomi offered, knowing it was an easier job than the kitchen.

Emily wrinkled up her nose as she lifted up one of the plates. "I guess that leaves me with this, but you're doing the bathroom, alright?"

It took a while to completely tidy the living area and pack away anything that wasn't too large to fit into the car. After they were done Emily entered the lounge, stopping beside Naomi, who was staring at the sofa with a hand on her hip.

"What's on your mind?"

Naomi sighed, "We don't need another sofa."

"I know," Emily muttered. "Maybe we could donate it to someone."

"Charity?" Naomi suggested.

"Why not?!"

They didn't make any decisions, instead they carried on through the house. Emily dealt with her bedroom while Naomi gathered up the children's toys, searching for anything they would miss and piling the rest into a box. She could hear Emily calling out to her, but as she stood staring at the wooden crib, sliding a hand across the beautiful wood, she found herself lost in thought.

"Have you gone deaf?" Emily questioned, breaking through her thoughts with the touch of her fingers on Naomi's waist.

"No," Naomi mumbled. "I was just thinking."

"About?"

"What would you say if I thought we should keep this place and rent it out?"

Emily raised an eyebrow, "Why would we want to do that?"

"We'd make a bit of money, wouldn't need to bother selling any of this crap," Naomi began. "And we'd really help someone out who maybe needed somewhere cheap to stay."

It hadn't occurred to her until she'd spotted Harley's crib. They didn't need two anymore, they didn't even need the one they had at the house really. By the time they were due to return from the US he'd be old enough to sleep in a big boys bed.

"Who?"

Naomi carried on talking, barely hearing Emily's question, "First, I think we should give this to Katie," Naomi sighed.

Emily smiled, "I like that idea."

"Then when we leave we bring Harley's crib here."

"Why would anyone need Harley's crib?" Emily questioned.

Naomi bit her lip, wasn't quite sure how Emily would take it, "So that Effy can stay here with her baby."

Emily's brown eyes looked thoughtful, considering all the possibilities as Naomi tapped her foot impatiently. She wished she'd respond sooner rather than later.

"I love how considerate you are," Emily grinned, wrapping her arms around Naomi's waist.

"Is that a yes?"

"From what you told me it sounds like she probably needs someone to give her a break, we can afford to keep this place as long as we charge her rent."

"Of course, I wouldn't suggest her stay here for free," Naomi smiled.

Emily nodded, "A reduced rate would be fine."

She didn't know why she felt so happy. There was still the discussion looming over the both of them, a discussion Emily was actually scared to have after the way Naomi was talking. But they had some good things to think about, the best news they'd heard all day and aside from Joseph's birth being number one on the list, there wasn't much room for anything else. Naomi wrapped her arms around Emily's waist, picking her up and swinging her around until she became slightly dizzy. The two of them fell together, their lips joining as they enjoyed an embrace.

"Can we go back to the hospital since we don't need to do quite as much as we thought?" Emily asked, pulling back long enough to speak, before their lips joined again.

"Yes," Naomi spoke into a kiss.

*

The hospital room was dark when Howard entered it, he hovered in the doorway for a moment, listening to Katie sleeping in the bed across the room. He wanted to go over, he wanted to pull her into his arms and sleep beside her. The only thing stopping him was the small sobs travelling through the air.

"Howard?" a voice whispered from behind him, he turned to find Emily and Naomi stood outside the door, he returned to the corridor.

"Thanks for coming back," he sighed, allowing Naomi to embrace him.

"Is she awake?" Emily questioned.

He glanced back towards the room, "She's, she's," he couldn't speak, didn't want to say what she was because it was too difficult to even think about it.

Emily moved towards the door, glancing through the panel of glass, "She's upset isn't she?"

"Yes."

It was his job to comfort her, his job to be there for her no matter what. But he was scared. Their son's birth was everything they'd ever wanted, everything they'd ever thought about happening. It wasn't supposed to happen the way it did, he was supposed to be fine. Naomi rested a hand on his shoulder as he continued to watch Katie sleep through the glass, he turned to smile at her, resting his own hand over hers.

"How about we visit that son of yours?" Naomi asked, moving her hand across his shoulder.

"Okay," he nodded, watching a look be exchanged between Naomi and Emily as they walked away.

The tears wouldn't stop falling and Katie didn't even know why. She was happy, blissfully happy about Joseph's birth, happy that Emily had been there with her, happy that her family with Howard was so much fuller and more complete. She could hear his voice in the hallway, she could hear him talking to Emily and Naomi and it just made her cry more. The voices stopped, the light from the corridor seeped into the room and the bed beside her dipped with the weight of someone sitting down. She turned around until she was lay on her back, staring up into the deep brown eyes that mirrored her own.

"I'm scared to leave you," Emily whispered into the dark, lying down until her head was resting against the pillow and her arms were wrapped around Katie.

She sniffled, wiping her tears, "But you've been so happy about it."

"And scared," Emily continued. "You were right and I'm so sorry for even considering moving away from you."

"It's your dream," Katie sighed, burrowing her face against Emily's warm chest until she felt comfortable.

It always amazed Katie how different it was when she was with Emily, when they comforted each other. Howard was the love of her life, without him she saw nothing. But without Emily she saw even less. They were the most important people in her life aside from her sons, each of them had their own special way of being there for her and helping her to be the person she had become. Sometimes when Emily comforted her, it made her want to cry more.

"It's only for a year," Katie sighed, biting on her lip.

Emily stroked her hair, brushing it back across her head, "It is, just one year out of the many we have in our lives and maybe you and Howie can come visit when Joseph is a little older?"

"I'm scared that Joseph isn't strong enough," Katie cried out, tears catching in the back of her throat.

"He's a fighter, just like his dad, just like you," Emily mumbled.

She was sobbing, it wasn't possible to stop, the tears increased again and Emily's grasp tightened around her.

"I just want to be happy," Katie sobbed. "I just want you to be happy."

Emily smiled as she kissed the top of Katie's head, "I want you to be happy to and I honestly believe that Joseph is going to be fine.

"I'm so sorry for being the way I've been, I'm so sorry for being a bitch."

Emily smiled, wiping the tears from Katie's cheeks, "We need to learnt to be happy for each other even if it makes us a little less happy."

"I know," Katie mumbled. "I'll try my best."

**Author Notes: Naomily can't seem to actually get away from angst? What is going on? Seriously? I'm annoying myself now. Feel free to share your thoughts...**


	35. Chapter 35

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you to everyone for the reviews, sorry it's taken a while to get another chapter out. The Skins video yesterday really got to me (Ten Feet Under and Emily on the roof anyone?! :-p ) so I had absolutely no motivation to do anything but think about Skins last night. Now I'm back in action writing and thinking and omg-ing at the next season - wow!!! Enjoy. :)**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Five**

The moon was shining through the window, completely full. Naomi watched the round ball as the tree outside the window shook in the wind. She pulled her t-shirt up over her head and slid out of her bra, still focused on the moon until she pulled the curtains together.

"I thought you were going to fall asleep in there," Naomi laughed, turning around as she dropped her skirt onto the floor and climbed under the bed covers.

Emily wriggled out of her jeans, "I nearly did."

"How is she doing?" Naomi questioned, her thoughts travelling to Katie who was probably fast asleep in a hospital bed.

"I think she's feeling a lot and discussing very little, which is how we got into this mess."

It felt like a small dig that really bothered Naomi. She pulled the covers tightly around her front, her arms underneath to evade the cold room. In all honesty she had only been thinking about Katie, worrying about Katie, until Emily had said what she'd said.

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "Have we stopped talking about Katie now?"

"Not entirely," Emily sighed, slipping under the covers beside Naomi.

The lights were off, the curtains slightly apart as a stream of moonlight bounced off the bed. They lay there for a while. Emily could feel the tension, sense the conflict that hadn't been resolved despite their promise to do so when the children went to bed. A lot had happened in a small space of time, so much to process since they'd got back together that they'd forgotten to discuss some of the more important things.

"I shouldn't have brought up having a baby."

"No, you shouldn't," Naomi admitted, turning onto her side until she was staring at Emily's arm.

The red head slithered further under the covers and turned to face Naomi, "It was wrong of me to even think about it."

"It's not wrong to think about it," Naomi admitted, pulling an arm out, braving the cold to draw circles on Emily's arm like they used to.

"Maybe not." Emily whispered, trying not to show how much Naomi's touch was effecting her, "But it feels wrong because we never discussed what you went through, how you dealt with everything alone."

There was a reason they'd never discussed what had happened. It wasn't Naomi's choice topic and though she knew it was vital they eventually discuss it, merely to move on with their lives; it was also a daunting situation, one that she didn't really want to face.

"It's in the past."

"Is it?" Emily checked, pulling Naomi's hand away from her skin and running their fingers together. It was easier that way, it didn't make her want to jump Naomi instantly.

"Things are different now," Naomi tried, less convinced than she sounded.

"But the feelings, especially like that, they don't just go away."

Naomi turned away, unable to look at Emily as she grew the distance between them, "No."

A single tear escaped her eye and she feared the onset of many more. She'd not spoken to anyone about how it had all felt, at least not anyone who wasn't getting paid to listen. Emily's fingers were travelling along her shoulder, bridging the gap to offer her comfort. She bit her lip, could feel herself shaking as the room's temperature affected her bare shoulders.

"This is the stuff Naomi," Emily whispered, her voice quiet in the darkness. "The things we didn't talk about before that nearly tore us apart. I don't want to let that happen again."

"I don't either," Naomi admitted.

Silence. The room was growing darker and the stormy winds causing the tree outside to tap against the window. If the situation between them wasn't quite so tense, Emily wasn't sure if she'd have been able to stand the tapping. Naomi's body was moving in the dark, shaking slightly. It was difficult to tell if it was the cold or tears that were causing it. Emily slid across the bed, slipping her arms around Naomi until the blonde sunk into her embrace. A number of gentle kisses landed on Naomi's collarbone, which seemed to provoke a number of small sobs.

"I'm scared that having a baby, even you having it," Naomi cried out into the darkness, "Will break us apart again."

"We don't know what would happen," Emily tried, the only thing she could think of, "We can't live our whole lives in fear."

Naomi nodded against Emily's touch, "I just don't know how I'd handle losing you again Emily, it almost broke me completely last time."

Every time Naomi's post partum came to mind, which was more often than not at night, Emily found herself confused and saddened by the situation. It was still difficult to believe that Naomi had been through something so big and she had not been there to help. Regardless of such, she felt the need to be positive, to be strong for Naomi.

"We've seen what happened, we know how to stop it. There's nothing to be scared of."

"But there is," Naomi sighed.

Emily rested her head against Naomi's shoulder, whispering into her ear, "I don't understand Naomi. I know it was bad, but it wasn't that bad; the post-partum I mean."

"You weren't there Emily. We lived in the same house, we slept in the same bed, but we lived two separate lives for months."

"What?"

The way Emily saw it, Naomi had been fine before she left and then everything exploded into a mess. Naomi was diagnosed after her departure, after the family break down, not before. But the more she thought about it and the more they talked about it, it was clear that Emily had been wrong. She pulled away slightly, resting her chin on Naomi's shoulder as she continued to speak out.

"I was lonely and I was depressed. I had days where I didn't speak to anyone, the days you arrived home after I'd gone to sleep. When you were there we never really talked, we never shared intimate moments. We didn't even kiss or hug or say I love you."

For the first time Naomi turned around, allowed herself to look into Emily's eyes in the darkness and analyse the effect the discussion was having on Emily. It was clear to see that she hadn't expected anything, hadn't really understood what she'd been through, a look of confusion on her face.

Emily cleared her throat, "Do you not remember?"

"Remember what?"

"Every single day before I went to work I told you I loved you," Emily reminded her. "Every day I tried to kiss you. Do you not remember that? You always seemed like your head was on another planet but I thought you at least heard me."

It made the tears increase and Naomi just let them fall until Emily's arms were twisted around her back, their naked bodies so close together. The tears ran dry quite quickly and she forced herself to stare at Emily, connecting the brown and the blue.

"I don't remember."

"I saw that you weren't the same," Emily sighed, wiping the tear stains from Naomi's face. "I did. But I didn't see what I should have. I thought it was just being tired or something."

Naomi shook her head, "It wasn't."

"I know that now and I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am for not seeing it, for not being there when you needed me and for not talking about this sooner."

"It's not your fault," Naomi shrugged in Emily's grasp. "I didn't make it easy for you to see."

Emily sounded upset, "None of that was you Naomi, you had your head full. I just failed you. I failed you in the worst way possible and then I betrayed you by sleeping with that…"

"That's in the past," Naomi interrupted, not even wanting to think about it.

Emily wasn't done, "I'm still so sorry about it."

"I know."

They kissed. Two pairs of lips came together slowly at first, their hands carefully touching each other's skin. Emily could feel Naomi's fingers digging into her back as she positioned herself over Naomi, her body raised slightly. It was gentle. Each movement, each touch of their hands slowly building up the passion. Emily could hear Naomi breathing heavily in her ear, her mouth pressing gentle kisses against Naomi's cheek, her neck, her collarbone as her hands travelled along her inner thigh, drawing circles on the skin moving higher and higher. Until Naomi reacted to her touch. Emily's lips pressing hard against Naomi's, who thrust her hips against Emily's hand. Mid-action, Naomi pushed Emily onto her back, taking control of the movement until she screamed out into the dark, collapsing against Emily's shoulder. They lay there for a while, their bodies resting together. Naomi carefully massaged her breasts with her hands, slowly building Emily, returning the favour.

"I think it gets better," she muttered out into the dark.

Emily shuddered under her touch, "What does?"

"This, us," Naomi sighed, planting kisses down the centre of her chest, "I thought it was as good as it was ever going to be, but it just gets better, it's amazing."

"It is," Emily smiled into a kiss, disappointed when Naomi pulled back.

"Emily?"

"Yes."

"I want to tell you about the internet thing now."

"Now?" she questioned, clawing at Naomi's hands as they continued to tease her skin.

Naomi let a cheeky grin slide across her lips, "Don't worry, we can continue this after."

The tingling sensation of Naomi's fingers, her lips, her tongue still exploring her upper body was too much. She didn't want to stop, didn't want to take a break, but gave in as Naomi rolled off her, dropping to her side.

"Okay?" she questioned, her hands wandering down her stomach.

Naomi raised herself up on her elbow, "I want to work with children who don't have anyone."

"What do you mean?"

"Lexie got lucky having us but there's children who don't have anyone." Naomi explained. "I want to work with them."

Emily smiled at Naomi, "And that trust website can help?"

"It's based in San Francisco, they have volunteering opportunities and I'd like to help out."

Emily raised up onto her own elbow, "You know what?"

"What?" Naomi asked, slightly worried.

"I think you're the most amazing person I have ever met and even though we've been together all these years, you still find ways to amaze me."

The chance of holding out much longer was growing slim for Emily. She straddled Naomi, planting kisses against her neck and lips as she thrust her hips against Naomi's. Within moments Naomi had pulled away, pushed Emily back against the mattress, her tongue travelling down her stomach. Emily held Naomi's head, clutching onto clumps of her hair as she reached a climax, her whole body exhausted. She was so close to sleep, would have happily fallen straight into a deep one had Naomi not slid back up the bed, pulling her into her arms where they both succumbed to deep slumber.

*

It felt like she'd never seen a baby before, never been through the process of having a child. It felt like a betrayal to William but if Katie was honest with herself, Joseph's birth was a thousand times better. The moment she held William in her arms she was already in love and that wasn't any different with Joseph. She tried to push the birth process out of her mind to focus on the fact that she loved her son's equally. It had been difficult as a child to understand how her parents could love James or Emily the same as her. Sometimes she thought they loved Emily the most. But having gained a second child she finally understood the true meaning of loving them equally.

"Are you looking forward to meeting your big brother?" Katie whispered, stroking the smooth skin on Joseph's stomach. He wriggled around, turning his face towards her. It was mystifying. It should have made her happy, but still it left her with a hollow feeling of emptiness.

"Morning," Howard announced his arrival, resting a hand on Katie's shoulder.

She shrugged him off, "Where were you?"

"Where was I when?"

She was angry at him and after a disrupted nights sleep she wasn't afraid to tell him so. His hand slid off her shoulder and he lowered himself into the spare chair beside her.

"Last night Howard, when Emily left, where were you?"

"I stayed here for a while and then I went home to get some sleep," Howard frowned, not understanding what was upsetting his wife so much.

Katie looked about ready to cry, "You should have been here Howie, you should have been here last night or this morning. Why weren't you?"

"I just told you," he assured her, shifting in his seat. "What are you getting so worked up about?"

"I'm scared Howard," she cried, tears starting to fall. "I'm fucking scared and I needed you, I needed you to be here but you weren't."

The feel of his arms sliding around her body, pulling her close into the warmth of his arms, it was everything she needed to relax. The night had been disrupted constantly, once or twice by people checking on her, but mostly by the thoughts running through her head or Howard and their son, neither by her side when both should have been.

"I'm sorry," Howard called out, kissing her head, squeezing her gently.

"I need you, I always need you," she cried, pushing her face against his t-shirt until the material was soaked through. She didn't care, she just needed to feel comforted by his touch.

"I'm here now, I'm here and I promise I won't go anywhere if you don't want me to."

*

The door opened and Rob Fitch appeared with a huge grin on his face. He entered the room with a stuffed teddy bear and walked across to where Katie and Howard were sat together, his arms still clutching her waist.

"Where's my little grandson?" he asked, peering through the plastic of the incubator.

Katie pulled away from Howard, standing up to greet her dad. She wrapped her arms around him and relaxed in his arms. She wasn't sure why she'd wanted to do it, but since Jenna had left the day before all she'd wanted was a hug with her dad.

"Daddy," she cried, sobbing against his shirt.

"Hey, hey, what's all this?" he asked, pulling away slightly before wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

"This whole thing has been a bit emotional," Howard informed him, standing up and shaking his father-in-law's hand. "Hasn't it Katie?"

She just nodded against him, "It's alright love, daddy's here."

The three of them straightened up when the door opened again. James came barging into the room making noises like a train as William clung to his neck. Howard laughed before pulling William off his uncle's back.

"I've missed you little man," he greeted, lifting him into his own arms as Katie joined them.

"Mummy's missed you too," Katie sniffed, resting a hand on Will's back.

William looked at Katie with worried eyes, "Grandpa said the baby came."

"That's right," Katie smiled, wiping her eyes as they moved towards the incubator.

"This William, is your little brother Joseph."

"Joseph? Like Jesus's daddy?" William asked.

Howard laughed, "That's right."

"Why is he in a plastic box?"

It was the most innocent question in the world, but it didn't help Katie's faltered emotions. She pulled away, turned around to avoid William catching her tears, heading for the door because everything was just getting to be to much. Rob followed her and pulled her into his arms again as Howard explained the situation to William.

"So it's like being in mummy's tummy?"

Howard smiled, "Exactly, he has to stay in there for a little while so that he can grow up to be a big boy like you."

"He's amazing," James inputted, hovering behind them. "I can't believe you guys got this after everything."

"I know," Howard smiled.

"Daddy?" William tugged on his shirt. "I need to go wee wee."

*

By the time Howard had brought William back Katie was stood against the wall beside the baby unit door looking a little better. Howard stopped and rested a hand on her shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss against her head.

"It's just so difficult," she whispered.

Howard gave her a reassuring squeeze, "I know."

On the other side of the door the sound of a baby crying reached them, causing Katie to stand upright, rigidly listening to the sound of her son crying. She felt weakened by the sound. It pushed her into action and she opened the door, rushed to the incubator ready to pick him up and hold him in her arms, before realising the barrier to doing so.

"What happened?" Rob questioned following his daughter and son-in-law into the room.

"I don't know," James shrugged. "I just reached in to his hand and then he started to,"

James's words were quickly interrupted as Howard rushed forwards, clutching James's shirt and tightening his grip. He couldn't breath properly, his heart beat racing as his body took over control. He raised his hand, clenching it into a fist as he lowered it down across his brother-in-law's nose. James landed on the floor with a thud, his nose bleeding and his eyes stinging with tears. Then he took a step back, the whole thing making him shake uncontrollably as the realisation of what he'd done set in.

"I'm, I'm," he stuttered, trying to calm himself down before heading for the door. "Sorry."

**Author Notes: So I know this story is supposed to be ending soon, it seems like I'm struggling to make it happen, a few more chapters. I'll end it eventually, soon.**


	36. Chapter 36

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: Thank you so very much to everyone for your wonderful reviews. I'm sorry it's taken me a little while to get the next chapter up, it was mostly written, just trying to finish it off seemed to prove a little difficult. I guess I got distracted by Let It Go, so I'm sorry. But I hope you enjoy this next one!**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Six**

The hospital room was overshadowed by a horrible tension. Katie was sat on the bed, hyperventilating whilst a nurse sat in front of her trying to persuade her to accept the oxygen mask in her hands. Katie pushed it away.

"What's going on?" Emily questioned, entering the room with a sense of foreboding. "Dad called, said you needed me to come see you."

It was like looking into a mirror. Katie's face looked broken into a million pieces as she sobbed loudly, reminding Emily painfully of the number of panic attacks she'd had through the years. Emily could feel the situation tug on her heart. She moved across the room, let Naomi's fingers drop from her hand as she sat down on the bed beside Katie.

"Where is your dad now?" Naomi asked, sitting on a chair by the door.

"I don't think you should be asking questions right now," the nurse snapped, still trying to get the oxygen mask around Katie's face.

"I don't fucking need it," she cried out, clinging to Emily as she wrapped her arms around her. The nurse just shook her head and stepped away, hovered in the doorway as the twins sat together.

"Katie, I need you to tell me what is going on. Has something happened to Joseph?"

Katie gasped, "Howard."

"Is he okay?" Naomi asked.

"He," she cried, swallowing tears. "He punched James."

"Is James okay?" Emily whispered, not sure what else to say.

The whole situation was actually quite confusing. As far as they knew Rob had planned to take William in to see his little brother, by the sounds of it things took a nasty turn.

"He went to," Katie paused. "A and E."

"What about Howie?" Naomi spoke up.

"He just, he left," Katie muttered, her tears slowing.

"Is dad with James?"

Katie shook her head, "He followed Howard."

Everything wasn't making complete sense. Katie was practically on the verge of a breakdown and the only thing to have actually happened was a punch up between her brother-in-law and brother. There had to be something more, Emily just knew there was more to it.

"Surely that isn't enough to make you like this," Emily pointed out, worried.

"I'm so sick and tired of feeling this way. My hormones are flying around everywhere. All I want to do is hold my baby boy...and I cant."

It was so difficult. Impossible to handle when all she wanted to do was be with her son. The moment James landed on the floor and Howard fled the room, they'd all been thrown out, sent away because violence was not good for anyone, especially Joseph. Rob had sent James off to the emergency room, before helping Katie back to her bed. He then took William and left. She'd sat there alone, for fifteen minutes, trying to process Howard's violent outburst. But all she could do was cry until she began to fall apart.

"This will get easier," Emily tried, but Katie could tell by the look in her eyes that she was just as worried.

"Will it?"

"Yes."

"Naomi?"

The blonde walked across the room, could feel her hands shaking as she knelt on the floor in front of Katie. She was nervous, could feel two pairs of brown eyes staring at her, waiting for her to speak. She rested a hand on Katie's knee, lifted her other one up until she was clutching her sister-in-law's fingers.

"When I had Harley I was this big bag of hormones.

It was the first time Naomi had spoken in detail about her struggle, about how hard those first months were. It hurt Emily to hear it but she knew she had to, actually wanted to feel the hurt because she couldn't pretend it hadn't happened any longer.

"It feels like your heart is so tight, like you can't breathe because to breath is to live and to live is to go through everything inside your head. And it hurts to think about all of that. All I could think about was how much I was failing my boy, how negative I was and that I wasn't making our lives any better."

Katie's eyes filled up with tears again, "I just want to hold him, I can't even hold him."

Naomi smiled, a tiny smile that offered so much hope, "You will. Maybe not right now, but you will. You still have something I didn't have Katie, something that makes this all a lot easier."

"What?"

"You have the ability to know that you don't want to feel like this, that no matter how sad you feel right now, you don't want it to turn into something more serious."

"But I can't control anything," Katie sniffed, wiping her eyes.

Naomi waited until Katie's eyes were locked with hers again, "Yes, you can."

*

Howard didn't smoke. In fact he hated the habit, wished that people wouldn't ever do it. Yet for some reason he borrowed a cigarette off someone and lit it up. It made him cough, it made him feel vile and disgusting, on top of how he already felt. Halfway through he dropped it on the floor, giving up before he'd even begun. He felt sickness in the pit of his stomach, a sickness that he knew wouldn't disappear with ease or medicine. Bruises appeared on his knuckles, wrapping around a number of cuts. The pain searing through his hand was nothing. He deserved it and for that reason alone he allowed it to consume him until a number of tears reached his eyes. He held back, punishing himself for the mistake he'd made. It was weakness that had put him in that position, weakness and stupidity that he had to keep at bay. He couldn't let him feel sorry for himself, couldn't let him feel like maybe something other than himself was to blame because there was no excuse and there never would be.

"Taken up the fags?" a voice called out from behind him and he turned to find Rob Fitch stood there eyeing him up.

He shook his head, "Doesn't work."

"Messes up your insides too," Rob stated.

"What do you want?"

He let out a sigh that seemed to last forever, his eyes rolling back in his head. He wasn't in the mood for company. He knew what he'd done. He just didn't know how to fix it.

"Don't you roll your eyes at me Howard Dixon. You hit my son. If you weren't married to my daughter or the dad of my grandsons then you'd be on the ground right now, understand?"

When he'd first started dating Katie he'd received a 'welcome' talk from her dad; a warning to not hurt her, to be the man she deserves. It physically hurt to have Rob Fitch, the man who respected that Howard was a good man and everything he could wish for his only straight daughter, completely change his stance and come across aggressive. He was a protector of his children, that much was clear. It had just never been a conversation Howard had ever wanted with his father in law.

"I'm sorry."

The words felt stale on his tongue, not quite doing what they were supposed to. He _was _sorry, but the word didn't do anything to change what had happened. Rob wasn't even the person he had to be sorry to; it was James and Katie and he wondered, if maybe, it was also himself.

"Empty words boy," Rob muttered, resting against the wall with his arms folded.

Anger rose inside him again, "You think I don't know that?"

"Don't get heavy with me kid, you make a mistake, you fix it."

"I don't know how to."

"Then do everything you can do, alright?"

*

Closing her mobile phone, Naomi re-entered the hospital room, hovering in the doorway whilst Emily joined her. Katie lay on her bed, curled up in a ball. The conversation hadn't been very long, but Naomi hoped she'd made a difference, no matter how small. It had made a huge difference to her, made her see things clearer for the first time. Emily slipped her arms around her waist and planted a gentle kiss on her lips.

"Any luck?"

"No answer," Naomi replied. "I hope he's alright."

The door swung open and Howard came in, his eyes red with tears and his face contorted with anguish. Katie shifted in her bed, sat up until her eyes locked with her husbands. Emily muttered an excuse to leave, which Naomi quickly followed and the two of them went out into the corridor to allow Howard access to the room.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, not taking his eyes off Katie until she finally looked away.

"I've heard it before."

A number of small sobs escaped his lips, which he quickly pushed back. He was going to be strong, he had to be strong. Katie bit her lip to stop herself from crying. All she really wanted to do was move across the bed and wrap her arms around Howard's body until the two of them were stood together so close, but she couldn't. It wasn't that simple.

"I don't know what else I can do or say," he sighed, honestly.

Katie closed her eyes and lifted her head, finally looking back into his eyes again, "Words don't mean anything Howard."

"I know."

He was ashamed. She could tell by the look in his eyes, the glistening of tears and the tone of his voice. He was broken up about what he'd done. It should have been enough, it was enough. Yet Katie wasn't feeling very forgiving, was actually feeling a lot worse than she'd realised now that she was face to face with the man she loved.

"Quite frankly," she whispered, her voice gaining power as she continued. "I don't want you anywhere near any of us unless you can guarantee that something like this isn't going to happen again. You scared me Howard, you really scared."

Howard moved forwards, walked across the room to fill the space between them until he was so close Katie could almost feel his breath, "Tell me what you need Katie, I will do anything."

"The first thing you need to do is apologise to my brother, apologise to my dad, apologise to everyone and anyone. They all deserve to hear it Howard. They all deserve to know that you're not just making up excuses."

"I'm not that kind of man."

"I know you're not," she sighed. "But right now you're not the Howard I know, not entirely. I know you're in there, but I can't see you clearly."

"I am still really sorry."

"I know. But you need to go back to your specialist, make sure that whatever they're doing to make you fully recovered is happening."

"Katie, I know what happened," Howard sighed, cautiously. "I haven't taken my medication for a few days."

It explained everything and it made Katie feel angrier. She wasn't just angry with Howard anymore, she was angry at the situation, the fact that her husband needed medication to stop him from flying off the handle at the drop of a hat. She didn't want him to still be suffering from his accident, it had been months ago, almost five months since the car crash. Katie couldn't speak, couldn't find the words she wanted to say. Instead she looked down, biting the inside of her mouth to stop tears from building again.

"I guess I'll go stay at a mates house or something," Howard whispered, turning to leave.

The future flashed before Katie's eyes. Howard walking out on them and never coming back, Katie letting him go and not finding the energy or the courage to allow him to return to their lives. It made her heart ache.

"Howie…"

He stopped and turned, "What?"

"Don't go. We need you here."

The relief beating through his veins consumed him, invaded his fears and worries as he turned and moved across the room until his arms were wrapped tightly about his girl's. Tears fell from his eyes, mixing with Katie's hair as he sobbed against her shoulder, apologising for everything repeatedly until she silenced him with a small kiss.

"I love you Howard, we're in this together, we'll get through this together."

He nodded, "We will."

"Can you take me to the chapel?" Katie whispered, her body relaxing into Howard's.

"What for?"

"To pray, I need to pray and I want to get out of this room."

Somehow in the speed of recent events Katie had forgotten that she didn't just need her family and friends to support her through everything, she also had her faith. With everything else slowly building back up she was still left with her worries about her son and she hoped that speaking to the man upstairs would help her gain some perspective on that. Howard nodded his head, pulled her to her feet as he guided her through the hospital.

*

The heat was blasting in the car, hitting Emily's face until she could feel herself growing flushed. She didn't ask questions at first, just sat beside Naomi as the blonde drove them down country lanes. The heat was growing insufferable so she turned it down, choosing instead to turn up the radio as a song played out. It reminded her of college, of the simpler days where love meant spending every waking hour together and to be apart was like the end of the world.

"Where are we going?" Emily finally asked, sick of the uncertainty.

"It's a surprise," Naomi muttered, shooting a cheeky grin in Emily's direction.

Emily let out a chuckle, "Is this where you take me to some other twin sister's house, lock us in a room together and wait until after her baby is born to let us out?"

Naomi rolled her eyes, her smile still set on her face, "Ha. Ha."

"Seriously, tell me!"

"All I will tell you," Naomi informed her. "Is that we're celebrating my freedom from foot casts, strap things and the physical therapy it took for the doctor to tell me I am free from my broken ankle."

Emily raised an eyebrow in suspicion. "We're celebrating that?"

Naomi nodded, "We're also spending some time alone without the children."

"How much time?" Emily questioned. "Are we talking a couple of hours?"

"A night and a morning."

"I like the sound of that."

The answer was enough to leave Emily wondering. She didn't mind it any longer, instead dreamt up all the places Naomi could have been taking her. A spa in the middle of the English countryside? A hotel surrounded by fields? A lake that defined their relationship. It came into clear view. The opening in the trees that, despite looking like anywhere else along the stretch of road they'd been driving along, was still the easiest place to spot. In fact it sent a chill down Emily's spine in anticipation for what was to come.

"Anywhere," she whispered, prompting a smile from Naomi that was both knowing and longing.

"The best place on earth."

Without words the two of them unpacked the car of blankets, firewood and a box of food. They were more prepared than they had been before, more knowledgeable about how cold it could get at that exact time of year.

"It's out anniversary you know," Naomi mumbled whilst building the fire.

"It's the middle of the month, we got back together at Christmas," Emily frowned.

"Not that anniversary."

Naomi didn't explain, didn't really need to provide an explanation despite Emily's confused expression. Instead she got up, moved to Emily's other side, resting her fingers over Emily's to emulate their first time in that very same spot. Emily just smiled; didn't quite seem to understand what the occasion was until Naomi reached over and pushed her lips against Emily's in a kiss she tried to make seem familiar. Emily pulled back with an expression of confusion, one that made Naomi laugh.

"Still not getting it?"

Emily shook her head. Naomi stood up, pulled on Emily's hand until she followed her to the edge of the lake. They stood side by side staring at it until Emily finally spoke.

"It's still so beautiful here."

Naomi let her lips curl at the edges, "It's one of my favourites."

Emily twisted her head around with realisation, "Hey, that's my line!"

"Yeah well you took mine first," Naomi joked, stripping off her shirt.

Emily laughed and put on a mocking tone, "I didn't bring my swimming costume."

"I cant believe it's been this long," Naomi mused when the laughing died down and they were once again stood in their underwear.

"Guess our love handles got a bit bigger," Emily smiled, resting her hands on Naomi's hips until the blonde turned in her grasp and rested a small kiss on the crook of her neck.

Naomi pulled back, "Stop perving!"

"You know you love it really."

"Guess I cant deny that."

Emily took the plunge first, really just wanted to tease Naomi as she pushed her lips against her own, lingered there until Naomi took control, looked about ready to collapse from the excitement. Then Emily jumped in the water and Naomi stood on the side pouting.

"You're a tease, you know that right?"

"You're the one who wouldn't tell me where we were going until we got here."

"That wasn't teasing, it was a surprise."

Emily swam to the edge, "Help me out then."

Naomi reached out a hand, taking hold of Emily's wet fingers about to pull when she felt herself jerk forwards and land on top of Emily and into the water.

"You fucking bitch!" she squealed, splashing Emily.

"That's pay back."

"What the hell for?"

"For pushing me in."

Naomi couldn't help but laugh, "That was twelve years ago!"

Emily just shrugged, moved through the water until she could hold onto the edge, holding a hand out for Naomi to join her.

"I don't know if I trust you."

"All will be forgiven if you come over here," Emily grinned, sliding her hand back under the water until she pulled it back up with her underwear. She threw her knickers onto the side and slid out of her bra doing the same with that.

"I see," Naomi raised an eyebrow and swam towards her, moving her hands under the water until she was completely naked. "Why don't we do this often?"

"Swim in lakes?" Emily questioned.

"Skinny dipping."

Emily grinned, holding her arms out until she could touch Naomi's fingers, pulling her closer as she wrapped her arms around Naomi's back, letting her hands travel under the water exploring Naomi's body under the shield of water. Pressing soft kisses against Naomi's collarbone, sliding a hand between her thighs until she got the reaction she had hoped for. Within moments Naomi was pushing her against the edge, taking a deep breath as she ducked under the water to kiss Emily's breasts.

*

The fire was burning beside them. Their hair still damp and their clothes sticking to their skin. It was reminiscent in every way of their past.

"Didn't bring a spliff did you?" Emily grinned a cheeky grin.

Naomi frowned, thought the suggestion pretty silly, "Are you serious?"

Emily shook her head, "Of course not."

"Good."

"It was fun though wasn't it? Blowbacks and boobs."

Naomi burst out laughing, "And boobs?"

"What? If I remember correctly, there were a lot of boobs."

"Four of them."

"I hadn't realised how much fun this whole thing could be."

"Well if you didn't realise then I was completely clueless because it was the best thing in the world."

"You think? I thought it was pretty bad actually."

"My inexperience was that bad?"

Emily grinned. "The whole thing was just awkward wasn't it? We didn't even kiss like normal, all those weird little kisses."

"I always liked those little kisses."

Emily raised an eyebrow and leant forwards until her lips pressed against Naomi's, repeated small kisses leaving her trace on Naomi's lips. After a moment she stayed in, pressed her lips upon Naomi's for a while until she slipped her tongue between her lips and pressed herself against her. Finally, she pulled away.

Naomi smiled, "Point taken."

**Author Notes: Can't believe this story is coming to an end soon...please review! :-)**


	37. Chapter 37

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: This has taken too long to get up, I'm sorry about that. I've been a bit unmotivated to finish, but I DO want to finish this. One more chapter left after this one and I think that might be it for this series! Thanks for the reviews, you're all amazing and I love reading your comments, so thanks.**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Seven**

The packing process was long and tiring. They were only initially going to the US for six months, which meant there was no point taking too much stuff. They decided to limit it to one box each on top of their clothes. Emily still had work to do right up until a few days before they were due to leave, which meant Naomi was left to do the majority of the packing.

"Can I take this?" Lexie asked, holding up her stuffed unicorn.

"Of course you should take her. But you need to think carefully about what else you want to take."

"I know," Lexie rolled her eyes, making Naomi laugh. "We can only take one box of things."

"Exactly. Do you think Harley would like the blue truck or the red truck?"

"He likes red more than blue," she informed her.

"That settles that then."

"Naomi?"

"Yes?"

Lexie looked contemplative, "What if I forget something?"

A smile curled up on Naomi's lips. There were a number of things Lexie had asked about the move; where she would go to school, where would they live, would they have to spend Christmas there. But Naomi suspected there would be other questions, things she was worried about.

"It's okay if you forget something" Naomi informed her, "Because Emily has to come back to England sometimes to have meetings."

"Can we come back with her?" Lexie questioned.

"Sometimes, but not all the time."

"So Emily could find what we forgot and bring it back for us?"

"That's right," Naomi smiled.

They continued to pack up a box of toys in silence. Lexie carefully looked through a pile of books until she found a couple she wanted and slotted them in her box beside her unicorn.

"Will the children be nice?"

Naomi bit her lip, "I imagine they'll be like they are here. Some of them will be really nice."

"But some of them might not be?" Lexie whispered.

"I don't know Lexie." Naomi muttered, honestly. "What I do know is that kids in America _love _our accents so you might get some people liking you just because of that."

"Maybe some will tease me for it," Lexie suggested.

"Hopefully not, but if they do just tell your teacher."

"What if my teacher teases me too?"

"I don't think they would," Naomi frowned. "But if you have any problems then you should tell me or Emily straight away."

*

Watching Katie deal with Joseph being in the hospital and having to spend every night away from him gave Emily some perspective on her life that she didn't even notice she needed. She found herself respecting Katie in a new way, her strength amazed her and her ability to deal with everything Howard was going through on top, just made her realise that Katie was stronger than either of them had given her credit for. Which led to her wondering just how difficult it was for Naomi. Noticing just how far her beautiful wife had come from her post-partum and how strong she was.

"I love you," Emily whispered one evening, her arms wrapped messily around Naomi's body as they lay in bed.

They said it often now because they both knew how important it was to never forget. Emily ran her fingers along Naomi's bare arms, could feel her skin react and a number of goose bumps appeared.

"You're really brave."

Naomi tilted her head, was pretty confused by the random trail of conversation that Emily had started up. She wasn't really sure what to say so she just laughed.

"Seriously," Emily stated. "I think you, and Katie, but mostly you are the most bravest of people I have ever met."

"I don't feel very brave."

"Well you are," Emily assured her. "You have been through so much. More than anymore should ever have to deal with in a lifetime let alone a decade."

"Things happened to me, that doesn't make me brave."

Emily rolled over until her head was resting on Naomi's stomach, her chin leaning against it so that she could really look into her eyes.

"You lost your girlfriend, you lost your mum, your step dad and you lost me for a whole year. You didn't give up Naomi, you fought through it all and you won."

"Grief is difficult, but it's not impossible. Besides I had you."

"But not last year. Last year you had all those hormones making you feel crazy and I wasn't there even when I was and you didn't fall apart. It could have been very different. But you got through it and you did that, all by yourself."

"I didn't do very much at all. I was a mess."

Sometimes she still felt a mess. Thinking back on what happened brought it back, even though she tried to forget, tried to get over it. She was thankful to have Emily back because she knew no matter what, with Emily there she'd be fine.

"You might have been a mess but you didn't look a mess. You looked strong and confident and you were so amazing when you could have been broken."

"You should have seen me on a bad day," Naomi laughed, knowing it wasn't really that funny.

"I'm being serious," Emily stated.

Naomi bit her lip, "So am I. I didn't feel very brave."

"I still think you were." Emily whispered, running a finger along Naomi's collarbone. "I think the way you handled Katie the other day was amazing. You really understood and you let her know that the world wasn't over."

"Now Katie is brave."

Emily raised an eyebrow, "If you told her that she'd probably say exactly what you said."

Despite seeing how far Naomi had come, Emily still couldn't remove the feeling of regret she felt, the guilt of walking away. She took a deep breath, staring out into the darkness at Naomi's face, the face of the girl she nearly gave up.

"I wish I could have been there, that I could turn back the clock and change how things turned out."

"Don't," Naomi muttered, forcefully. "I know it was horrible but I don't regret what happened to us. It's in the past, it all happened for a reason and I believe that reason was for us to see just how much we need and love each other. I think it's very easy to take something, someone for granted and we fought that. We saw through the other side and it made us stronger."

Emily contemplated Naomi's words, "I just still feel so bad for not being a better wife."

There was a time when all Naomi wanted to hear was Emily's regrets, Emily feeling guilty for everything and wishing she could be a better person through what happened. A lot had happened since then, a lot had changed. All Naomi wanted was to move forwards, not live in the past, not think about the mistakes they couldn't turn back.

"Don't Emily. Please don't," she muttered, feeling herself become more emotional as she spoke. "I love you now and that's all that matters. I've accepted what happened, all of that mess. I'm not over the fact I had problems after Harley's birth but that will come in time. Right now I need you to accept what happened, accept the mistakes we both made and decide to forgive yourself so that we can have the future we all deserve."

Emily nodded against Naomi's chest, could sense the frustration in Naomi's voice and regretted bringing up her insecurities. Everything she wanted was right there, in the house they shared, in their bed. Her life was all she'd ever wanted it to be and no matter what happened in the past or what could happen in the future, that was all she knew she had to focus on.

"I'm sorry for talking about having a baby."

"Why?" Naomi whispered, raising an eyebrow. "If it's something you've been thinking about then we should talk about it."

"I've thought about it, for the future," Emily assured her. "Not for right now. Right now we have so much going on. If or when we decide we want it to happen then maybe it will."

Naomi bit her lip, "Emily if you really want to have a baby just tell me."

"I am Naomi. Joseph made me feel broody but I'm not ignoring the situation we're in. We're not in a place where having a baby would fit into our plans. I have so much on with this job and we have so many changes that we need to deal with. Maybe in a year when we're more settled. Maybe then we can talk about it more."

"Are you sure?" Naomi whispered, feeling her lips curl at the edges.

All the time Naomi had been worrying that Emily wanted a baby as soon as possible, wanted to go through with the plan they'd always had of having at least two children of their own. She'd worried, contemplated what could have happened if they'd gone through with it, whether it would have broken down their marriage in the same way. It was a relief to know that Emily wanted it, but didn't want it immediately, that she was willing to wait.

"Yes. Besides, if you're still in a place where you've not entirely dealt with what happened with Harley then it would be selfish to ask you to want to take a risk."

"I think until we've both accepted what happened and move on," Naomi whispered. "It wouldn't be fair otherwise."

"You're right. I've ignored this whole situation for far too long. Now we need to face it, together."

Emily wrapped herself around Naomi tighter, kissed Naomi's hand as she interlocked their fingers. It felt like things were finally becoming good, that everything they'd been worrying about was being let out and finally, maybe they were able to move on.

"Emily? I think we should go to a counsellor."

"We?" Emily asked.

"Yes. Both of us," Naomi continued. "I want our relationship to be the best it can be. We have so many things between us that I think we should get some help really working them through. Properly. I want to make sure there's nothing left stopping us being happy."

"Naomi we go to America in a week and a half," Emily reminded her. "Is now a good time to start that?"

"We should wait until we get there. Then if anything comes up while we're there we won't be tempted to hide behind it. We'll have a place where we can get that stuff out." Naomi let out a small laugh. "When in Rome!"

Emily laughed along, "They do say every man and his dog has a therapist."

Naomi slid her arms around Emily's back, feeling the soft touch of her skin against them, "I love you."

"I love you more," Emily grinned.

"Are you starting a fight?"

"Of course," Emily raised an eyebrow.

Naomi pushed her lips together in a smirk, "Can we just skip to the sex?"

"Sounds good to me."

*

Being home without baby Joseph was the hardest thing Katie had to do. It was nice to be able to curl up in her own bed with Howard by her side and William sleeping in the room next door. It was not nice waking up routinely throughout the night after dreaming the baby had been crying only to find him not there. Every morning Katie would drive William to pre-school then drop by the hospital to visit Joseph and extract some milk. It was a relief to know he was finally being given breast milk.

"Good morning Katie," the paediatric nurse called when she entered the room.

"Morning Trina, how's my little boy today?"

"He's doing brilliantly. I was going to give you a call but I figured you would probably turn up. Like clockwork."

Katie smiled, "Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. I was hoping you could get your husband down here though."

"Why?" Katie asked, her heart beating fast as her stomach did a turn. "What's wrong?"

Trina smiled and served a hand on Katie's shoulder. "Nothing is wrong. I promise. Joseph has been coming along leaps and bounds. I just don't want Howard to miss out on being able to hold his son."

"You mean?"

The relief was immense. Not just that everything was okay when she thought seconds before that it might not be, but that she was finally going to be able to hold her son. The thought of having Joseph in her arms brought a tear to her eyes and the moment the nurse confirmed it, Katie started to sob.

"Now?"

"If you can get Howard down here quickly enough."

"I'll go call him!" she called out, rushing from the room.

Running down the hospital corridor, Howard's heart was beating faster than it had ever beaten before. He was scared, really scared. Katie had been very vague on the phone, had said something about needing to come to the hospital and quick, but she didn't sound like something was wrong. It confused him. As he pushed the door open to the room where his baby was, he felt his heart flip when he saw the nurse picking Joseph up.

"You scared me Katie," he gasped, walking closer. "Is this?"

Katie nodded, "I didn't want you to miss him coming out of the incubator."

It took less than a second for Howard to wrap his arms around Katie, to cling to her and whisper how much he loved her in her ear. He then let go, allowed her to sit back down in the chair before he stood back.

"Who wants to hold him first?" the nurse offered.

"Howard should," Katie whispered. "You said I can try to feed him, so if Howard holds him first."

"Are you sure?" Howard checked, stroking her hair back against her head.

"I'm sure."

Katie watched as the nurse passed their son to his dad, found her eyes watering again at the sight of his fingers wrapping themselves around Howard's larger one. She stood up, moved closer, allowing Howard to wrap one of his arms around her so that they could stand together, with their son between them.

"It's hard to remember them being this small when they're all grown up," Howard muttered. "Like when Will was a baby."

Katie nodded, "I know. Let's make the most of it, yeah?"

After a few minutes Katie sat back down in her chair, waited for Howard to carefully place Joseph in her arms before she lifted her top. She allowed Howard's hand to wrap around her own, silently thanked him for the support as she tried to assist her son's feeding. It took a while and though she grew frustrated, when it finally did happen she found herself crying again.

"Don't cry," Howard whispered, wiping her tears from her eyes.

"Happy tears," she sighed. "God, this well hurts."

Howard laughed, "It suits you though."

Katie raised an eyebrow, "You're just saying that 'cause you can see my tits."

It didn't last long, but it still felt like the best thing in the world to Katie, to have Joseph in her arm, to have him feeding like he was supposed to. The nurse helped them put Joseph back in the incubator; tears flowed again as Katie struggled to let go, didn't want to give up holding her son, but knew she had to express some milk and do a number of errands.

"We'll get to hold him again soon," Howard reminded her as they walked towards the car, their fingers interlocked between them.

"It's just so hard, having that much contact and then not being able to stay."

"I know, but soon he'll be home, screaming the place down."

"I wouldn't mind that, anything to have him home," Katie sighed.

"I've got my appointment soon," Howard reminded her. "Would you come with me?"

"It's a counsellor Howie, I think you're supposed to go alone," Katie raised an eyebrow.

"I know, but I want you to come with me, for support. You could drop me off then pick me up."

It was difficult not to cry as she wrapped her arms around Howard's neck, kissed him gently on the lips. It hadn't been easy, any of it. But Katie was thankful to still have Howard there. It was a relief to know that he had new medication and even more so to know that he was going to deal with things properly. She stroked his cheeks, pressed her lips against his again.

"Of course I will."

**Author Notes: don't forget to review, it means a lot. :-)**


	38. Chapter 38

**Disclaimer****: I don't own Skins or the characters from the show, I do, however, own a man called Howard, a girl called Lexie and the contents of this story.**

**Author Notes****: The final chapter. I can't believe I'm finally here, I apologise it's taken so long. Thank you to everyone who has read this story and the prequels before it. It's been quite a series I've enjoyed writing this past year. I hope you all had a great Christmas/festiveness and see you all in 2010! (Happy New Year to those already there!)**

**Without Warning**

**Chapter Thirty-Eight**

It was so cold that Naomi could see her breath in the air, she held tighter to Emily's fingers, wishing that there was a glove that allowed two hands to share the same space. She sent a half-smile Emily's way and bit her lip. She looked beautiful, completely stunning. So much so that Naomi would have preferred a night alone with Emily than a night in some Labour club with the in-laws.

"Sure we can't just drop the kids off?" Naomi whispered, emphasising her lip-tuck which she knew Emily couldn't resist.

"Don't do that or I'll be saying yes," Emily laughed. "It's our last night, it's only fair we see the family before we go."

Naomi raised an eyebrow, "Can't we just send them a postcard when we arrive?"

"No," Emily giggled. "This place had better let the kids in, dad did say to bring them in his message, didn't he?"

The entrance hall was warm and smelled of that mixture of alcohol and tobacco that hung in the air, even long after the smoking ban. Rob was stood, pacing back and forth in front of them which made Emily frown. He looked nervous, something she very rarely saw in her dad.

"Good evening," she muttered, kissing him on the cheek as they all greeted each other.

"Come on, everyone's in here," he informed them, leading them through a door into a darkened room.

Naomi and Emily followed him, completely confused, until the lights came on and the room lit up with noise and music.

"Surprise!"

Emily jumped, reached for Naomi's hand which she'd given up holding to hug her dad. The two women grinned at each other and then at Rob, before returning their gaze to the small crowd of family and friends.

"Oh," Naomi gasped, squeezing Emily's hand tighter than she'd expected to when a number of tears fell from her eyes. She brushed them aside, overwhelmed by the vast number of people standing in front of them, there to say their goodbyes.

"Are you okay?" Emily muttered, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and kissing her cheek gently, Naomi nodded into the embrace, whispered a quick thanks before they turned back to the family.

"Thank you, Jenna, Rob, this is," Naomi whispered, sniffling. "Thank you."

"It wasn't all us," Jenna smiled. "Katie's idea actually, her and Howard did a lot of the planning."

Naomi turned to her brother and sister-in-law, gave them brief hugs and thanked them too, her hand still clutched tightly to Emily's. She couldn't quite explain where the emotion came from, but she felt the need to be close to Emily still. Naomi watched as Jenna took Harley and Lexie across the room to some distant cousins of Emily's, she laughed as Harley danced about to the music.

"Finally, thought you were never coming," James interrupted her thoughts.

"It is our party," Emily reminded him. "You were all just very early."

"I must say, you are looking smoking hot tonight Naomi," James raised an eyebrow. "If I wasn't attached and you weren't my sister-in-law,"

"Or gay," Naomi inputted.

"That too," he added. "Well I think I'd be looking in your direction."

"My baby brother," Emily rolled her eyes, before searching the room. "Where's Tali?"

"She couldn't make it," James sighed. "Said to say she's sorry but she hopes to see you in a few months when we come and visit."

Emily looked at him cautiously, "Is she okay?"

James nodded. "She's good, she's more than good actually. She's finished her treatment and though they need to wait for tests to come back they think she's going to be okay."

"That's fantastic James," Naomi grinned, rubbing his shoulder and nodding her head. "And you two had better visit us!"

*

Emily's red hair looked brighter under the disco lights, it glimmered and shone as she strode around the room greeting various family members. Naomi sipped a vodka and coke, her mind wandered around Emily's body, wishing for just five minutes alone with her girl. Suddenly her vision was disrupted, someone was stood in front of the table and she almost snapped at them to go away. But then she lifted her head and her eyes met the bright blue ones that belonged to Effy.

A small smile crept across her face, "Hi, I didn't know you were here."

"I just arrived, can't really stay long," Effy smiled back, her fingers stroking the front of her enlarged stomach.

Naomi reached a hand out, offering her a seat opposite, which the brunette took. "How are you doing?" A nod towards the bump completing her sentence.

"We're good," Effy informed her. "I've not had a drink for weeks, I've not been to a party in a long time. I'm trying to cut it out you know, go cold turkey."

"Good idea," Naomi replied. "Never were one to do things in moderation, were you Eff?"

Effy just shook her head, staring down at her fingers as though contemplating something. "I never thanked you, not properly."

"What for?"

"Everything."

"I was just being a good friend," Naomi assured her.

"No. Nobody's ever given me much of a chance and you always have."

The two women shared a smile, a comfortable, friendly smile that made Naomi want to cry. She'd never seen Effy look so good, so healthy, in all of the years they'd known each other. She was modest, usually, wasn't one to blow her own trumpet. Yet she had contributed to it. She reached for Effy's hand, gave it a gentle squeeze that she only loosened when Emily sat back down beside her.

"I have too much family," Emily moaned. "Oh hey Effy, didn't realise you were here."

"I'm not staying, I should go really."

"I'll walk you out," Naomi smiled, kissing Emily briefly on the lips before linking arms with Effy.

They stood in the doorway for a few minutes, breathing in the cold night air. Effy's eyes staring at a man holding a cigarette, a longing look that made Naomi laugh.

"You want a cigarette, don't you?" she whispered.

"I'm not going to though."

The taxi arrived then and Effy opened the door, about to slide into the back seat before she grabbed for Naomi's hand, pulled her close for a moment. They stared into each other's eyes and Effy kissed her softly on the cheek.

"Seriously, thanks."

Naomi smiled, wrapping her arms around her shoulders, pulling her into an embrace that didn't seem to come as easily to Effy as it did Naomi.

"Don't be a stranger, yeah? Call me, write me. I want to know how you get on with this little thing."

Effy rested a hand over Naomi's, which clutched the bump. "Naomi."

"What?"

"It's a girl," Effy whispered. "Naomi."

The gesture took Naomi back, she frowned, confused for a moment until her eyes filled with tears. She wrapped her arms back around Effy's shoulders and gave her another squeeze.

"Thank you, for everything you've done for me too."

They nodded at each other as Effy slid into the back seat. Naomi closed the door, wiping her tears as Effy held a hand up to the window whilst the taxi drove away.

*

Naomi was stood in the car park watching a car disappear onto the main road. Emily grinned as she ran past her, wished she could have stopped if it wasn't for the hand pulling her along. Katie dragged her to her car, demanded she get into the passenger seat before starting up the engine and driving them away.

"Now _you're _kidnapping me?" Emily laughed, remembered the last time she'd been in a car without knowledge of where she was going.

"It's a surprise Emily, I think we should have bought you a dictionary as a going away present."

Emily laughed, her smile disappearing when they pulled up on the edge of a field. Emily raised an eyebrow at her sister, completely confused as they climbed out of the car and stood staring at the grass in front of them. Katie lay a blanket down on the ground which they lay down on and stared up at the stars. Emily couldn't help but think she was missing something, forgetting something important.

"You don't remember?" Katie questioned, Emily shook her head. "The summer after we turned seven when we moved here, we'd left that crappy house in London and it was a big adventure. James was following us about all over the place, except,"

"This field," Emily concluded, turning to face Katie with a smile. "I remember now."

"Then that night we had an argument with mum and dad and we decided to run away together. All we had was a blanket, a couple of straw drinks and a box of biscuits."

"We ended up here and you ate them all," Emily laughed, only smiling when Katie smacked her playfully on the arm.

Emily stared at her sister for a moment, her insides wobbling more than she wanted them to. She reached for her hand, held it tightly between her fingers as they stared up at the sky.

*

Katie was off gallivanting with Emily, James was drinking shots with a cousin and Rob and Jenna were occupying the kids. Howard hovered by the bar, not really sure what to do with himself. He ordered another glass of coke and stood watching William copying an older boy, who was sliding across the dance floor on his knees.

"He's getting so big," a voice muttered from beside him. Howard turned and smiled when he saw Naomi stood there.

"He feels even bigger after spending the day with Joseph."

Naomi smiled, "That's how I felt when I had Harley. He was so tiny and then I went home and Lexie felt like a teenager."

"He's coming home in a few weeks," Howard informed her, feeling his lips forge a smile. "They said that he's progressing really well now that he's breast feeding. It's not going to be long until we can be a proper family."

"That's brilliant Howard," Naomi smiled, linking his arm and resting her cheek against his shoulder. "Any idea where our girls were off to?"

"No idea, Katie told me they were going out for an hour, that's all she said."

They stood in silence for a while, watched the room until Howard noticed movement beside him. He frowned as Naomi wiped her eyes, the lights bouncing off tears on her face. He moved away so that he could wrap his arms around her, pulling her into an embrace.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm okay," Naomi sighed. "It's just, it's big. This move, it's massive."

"You're going to do amazing over there. America isn't going to know what's his it," Howard assured her.

"I'm just worried. I'm worried about Emily and Katie being so far apart. I'm worried about James' girlfriend even though he says she's probably going to be fine. I'm even worried about Effy, she has no one Howard. How can she bring a baby up alone when she's so messed up?"

Howard stroked her cheek, brushing her hair back as he stared into her eyes. "You're such a beautiful person Naomi. You can't live your life worrying about everyone else though. You've been through so much and you've managed to come out of the other side. You've given me faith that no matter how scared or worried you might be, as long as there's people around you that you care about and who care about you, then you'll be fine."

Naomi sighed, took a deep breath as she tried to stop herself from crying. She wrapped her arms around Howard's back and clung to him, whispering a thank you into his ear.

"I'm so glad you're better Howard, I love you so much, you're my best friend."

"I love you too," Howard grinned, kissing her cheek gently. "As for your friend Effy, I'll make sure Katie and I keep an eye on her for you."

"Thanks Howard, you never stop being there for me, do you?"

"Why would I ever want to?"

*

The moon was full in the sky, shining a bright light down upon them. Katie stared up, wondering why she never did it very often when the few times in her life she actually had, she enjoyed it.

"I guess we should be heading back," she whispered, wishing that they didn't have to, that their lives could begin and end in that field.

"Do we have to?" Emily asked, taking the words right out of Katie's mouth. "I've missed this, the carefree sister time without responsibility."

Katie laughed. "I guess five more minutes wouldn't hurt."

The sister's didn't talk, they hadn't talked for most of the time there. They just lay together, enjoying an hour alone where all that mattered was being there, in that moment. Katie let her mind wander, things flooding her brain that she wanted to say, she knew they were things she should say now because she probably wouldn't find another time good enough.

"I'm excited for you Emsy," she whispered into the night. "It's taken me a long time to see it, but it's what you need to do. I know that. Plus, we have phones and email, I could even get James to help me set up a webcam or one of those Sky phones."

"I think it's called Skype," Emily laughed.

"Same thing," she muttered. "I'm going to well miss you, but we can keep in touch, yeah?"

Emily rolled onto her side, pulling Katie closer into her arms until they were as close as they could get. The cold air seemed to disappear as they shared warmth.

"I won't be a stranger Katie, I wouldn't dare. I'll fly back here once in a while, to you. When Joey's well enough you should fly out to visit. How about for our birthday?"

Katie bit her lip, tried to avoid her sister's gaze, but it was too close. She was scared to tell Emily that she didn't have the money, that as much as she wanted to go, to see their new life, she couldn't afford it.

As if reading her mind, Emily smiled at her. "I'll pay for the flights and everything, call it a birthday present, or a Happy Tuesday present."

The twins laughed and though Katie felt uncomfortable that Emily was willing to pay for such a large gift, she was too afraid to turn it down. She wanted, more than anything, to go visit her when they'd settled. The thought of never making it out there was too much.

"Guess we should head back," Emily sighed, attempting to pull away, but Katie pulled her back down.

"Another five minutes, then we can go."

*

Eventually the party was over and Emily and Naomi said goodbye to the dozens of family and friends who had come to wish them luck. Even though it was their party, they stayed to help tidy up until the room was clean and they all stood in the car park to say their almost-final goodbyes.

"We'll be at your place at ten," Rob informed Naomi. "Make sure all your bags are ready so we can get off to the airport straight away."

"No worries," Naomi smiled. "Most of our things are ready to go anyway."

Naomi turned to Emily who was stood clinging to Katie, neither of the sister's seeming to want to let go first.

"Are you busy tomorrow morning?" Emily whispered, trying her best to keep the tears at bay.

Katie smiled at Emily, "We do have plans."

"Oh."

Katie laughed, pulling back from Emily as she saw the disappointment on her sister's face. "We're going to the airport to see you off. You should have seen your face then, that was well funny."

"It wasn't funny," Emily snapped, smacking her playfully on the arm. "That was horrible. I thought this was going to be where we'd have to say goodbye."

"No, definitely not. Besides, we've already promised William that we'll show him the airport."

*

Naomi lay under the covers, her arms brushing Emily's as she climbed in beside her. They turned to each other, stared into each other's eyes as they pulled each other closer for a passionate embrace.

"We're doing the right thing, aren't we?" Emily questioned, pulling back and resting on her back.

"It feels right to me, so it must be."

Emily couldn't help the last minute nerves, couldn't bare the thought of being away from half her family for so long. The tears started to fall and there was nothing she could do about them, she started to cough, choking on the tears until she sat up. Naomi's arms were quickly around her, allowing her to cling tightly to her body.

"It's okay, it's going to be okay."

"It's so difficult, I didn't realise it was going to be this difficult."

Naomi tucked her lip under her tooth, stroking the side's of Emily's face until her brown eyes were staring back into her own. They stared at each other for a while until Emily's tears began to slow.

"It's just six months, if it really doesn't work out then it's not that long."

"I'm just scared."

"I know, I'm scared too," Naomi admitted. "It's a scary thing, moving to another country, changing our whole life. But we're doing this _together_."

Emily nodded, pushing her face against Naomi's neck, burrowing her nose as close to Naomi's skin as possible. Two arms reached around her back again and they settled back down on the bed, arm in arm. Emily pulled back, letting her lips leave a trace along Naomi's neck until she reached her lips and pushed her tongue into Naomi's mouth until she could feel Naomi's massaging back. They lay there kissing for a while, comforted by each other's touch.

"I think we should wait until we get to America to have sex," Naomi whispered, a cheeky grin sliding across her lips. "Christen our new bed, our new house."

Emily chuckled, thankful to Naomi for the distraction as she nodded her head and wrapped herself back up in Naomi's arms until they fell into a deep sleep together.

*

The airport was tense. Nobody wanted to speak through fear of what was to come, too scared to say goodbye to each other as they sat in a café drinking coffee and orange juice. Naomi reached for Emily's hand, interlinking their fingers under the table until Emily smiled a little.

"This is lovely coffee, isn't it lovely coffee Rob?" Jenna commented, sounding more strained than usual.

"Yeah, very nice."

"It's well good for airport coffee," Katie whispered, thankful for Howard's hand resting on the small of her back, wondering what she would do if she couldn't feel him there beside her.

It didn't take long to finish the drinks, to pay up and wander through the airport until they reached security. Emily and Naomi stared at each other, glancing across the family members until they all stopped, realising that there was no point waiting any longer. They couldn't keep putting off the goodbyes.

"I'm gonna miss you kid," Rob muttered, his words strained as he hugged his daughter, wiping his eyes as he pulled away.

Everyone said their goodbyes, hugged each other and whispered words of luck and keep in contact as though they hadn't already spoken them so many times before. When Katie got to Emily, they were both trying their best not to cry, but Katie couldn't help shed a few tears as they clung to each other.

"Emsy, Emsy," Emily began, doing her best to use twin speak, but her tears took over and her eyes became too blurred. She got annoyed with herself for not being able to say it, had to take a breath before she could say anything more. "I'm going to fucking miss you."

"Me too," Katie sobbed. "Katie Ly."

"Emsy Ly Doo," Emily whispered, the words falling from her lips that little bit easier as she pulled away.

A final glance at everyone and Emily, Naomi and the kids made their way through security, eventually disappearing from sight.

*

The waiting was the hardest. Emily longed to return to the other side of security, to wrap her arms back around her sister and tell her that they'd changed their mind. But it was too late.

"It's going to be okay," Naomi whispered, rubbing her back after sending Lexie and Harley off to a café a few feet away. "You need to calm down or you'll make yourself ill."

"I'm okay," Emily sobbed, embracing Naomi, only pulling away when she felt Naomi's shoulder grow damp.

"You're not alone Emily, just remember that. We're all here with you. You, me and the kids."

Eventually Emily calmed down. They sat in the café and ate sandwiches whilst waiting for their gate to be called. Then they made the short journey from the departure lounge to the gate, Lexie and Harley growing more excited as the minutes passed by. Naomi and Emily walked behind them, their hands still clutched together as they sat down and watched the planes from the window.

"It'll be opening in a few minutes," Emily whispered, pulling her phone out of her pocket, grinning at the six messages all from Katie, wishing them good luck and telling them that she loves them all. A few more tears slid down Emily's cheeks as she sent one back.

"That's us," Naomi muttered, when a boarding call finished. Emily stood up beside her, more cautious as they wandered towards the gate.

"Have a nice flight," the woman grinned, handing them their boarding passes.

Emily stopped by the door, turning one last time to look at the airport. She pictured her family on the other side of security, remembered the emotional goodbye just a couple of hours earlier. She felt Naomi's hand resting on her shoulder, felt comforted by the touch.

"Come on, let's go."

A final nod, Emily tucked her fingers in between Naomi's, holding tightly to her hand as they wandered down the loading tunnel. The closer they got to the plane, the further away they got from the life they'd been leading. When they were finally sat in their seats, Emily found a smile creeping across her face. It was still sad to say goodbye to everyone they cared about and the life that they knew, but it was an adventure, a new life and it was actually quite exciting.

**Author Notes: the last chance to review...thanks again guys!**


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